The Foolish Almanak - LightNovelsOnl.com
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MONDAY
TUESDAY (1586 B.C.) Nebuchadnezzar saw the handwriting on the wall.
(1906) John D. Rockefeller sailed for Europe.
WEDNESDAY
THURSDAY (1905) New song published by Ca.s.sie Chadwick, "I've worked every one but father."
FRIDAY
SAt.u.r.dAY Boy, gun, Joy, fun.
Gun bust.
Boy dust.
JULY
Friends.h.i.+p is between men a convenience; between women, a commodity.
HINTS ON DRESS
Parasols should be carried on Sun-day.
Persons attending services in poorly heated churches are justified in making a cloak of their religion.
Eton jackets may be worn at the dinner table.
Silks with watered effects are popular with milkmen's wives.
The smart set is devoting a good deal of attention of late to the costuming of house dogs. Embroidered blankets during the winter and short pants during the hot summer weather are quite popular.
Shrinkable dress-patterns should always be sponged before they are made up, but the custom of putting an overcoat in "soak" after it has been worn awhile is still followed by gentlemen who are financially embarra.s.sed.
[Sidenote: _Advice to Wives_: It is better to let your husband bring a friend home to dinner than it is to have a friend bring him home after dinner.]
[Ill.u.s.tration]
SUNDAY
MONDAY (1896) A bas Dreyfus!
(1906) Vive le Dreyfus!
TUESDAY (1840) First Cunarder arrives in Boston.
P.S.--Do not confound with canard, which arrived with Boston to remain always.
WEDNESDAY
THURSDAY HONOR TO WHOM, ETC.
We're all of us selfishly slow to confess How much others aid us in winning success; But the Fourth of July and the Oyster must see How stupid, without any Crackers, they'd be.
FRIDAY
SAt.u.r.dAY
JULY
Many a Glad Hand turns out to be The Hook.
SIGNS OF THE ZODIAC
(Recent Interpretations)
AQUARIUS, the waterman, indicating what many a man becomes on the first of January.
PISCES, the fishes, indicating that by February he begins to be just as thirsty.
ARIES, the ram, indicating that in March he begins to meditate on the virtues of bock beer.
TAURUS, the bull, indicating that by April his disposition is surly and it's a toss-up whether he really remains a waterman.
