The Foolish Almanak - LightNovelsOnl.com
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GEMINI, the twins, indicating the result of the toss-up and how he feels toward his fellowman in May.
CANCER, the crab, indicating the backward interest with which he listens to his wife's plans for the summer.
(_Continued on next left-hand page._)
[Sidenote: _Health Hint_: For a turned ankle--a nicely turned feminine ankle--a low shoe, a short skirt, and a drop-st.i.tch stocking are recommended.]
[Ill.u.s.tration]
SUNDAY
MONDAY (1851) Vigilance Committee organized in San Francisco.
(1906) Order of Muck-rakers established in Was.h.i.+ngton.
TUESDAY
WEDNESDAY (1525 B.C.) Pharaoh's daughter finds Moses in the Bull-rushes.
(1906 A.D.) Roosevelt finds a "joker" in the meat bill.
THURSDAY INFINITUDE!
Man looks at the stars and with wonder unspeakable He thinks on their source which he knows is unseekable: He asks who designed all the planets so beautiful, But no one has ever unscrewed the unscrutable.
FRIDAY
SAt.u.r.dAY
JULY
An earthquake is not what it is cracked up to be.
SIGNS OF THE ZODIAC
(_Continued_)
LEO, the Lion, indicating the state of mind with which in July he agrees with them.
VIRGO, the Virgin, indicating that in August he usually hears of his daughter's engagement.
LIBRA, the scales, indicating that in September various interested persons weight his family's summer enjoyments and send him the bills.
SCORPIO, the scorpion, indicating the state of mind with which he pays them in October.
SAGITTARIUS, the archer, indicating some fine shooting on the part of his conscience toward the end of November.
CAPRICORNUS, the goat, indicating what he feels like as he decides that next year shall be different.
[Sidenote: _A Milk Pointer_: Milkmen, too, have their troubles. If they do not water their cows, or if they do water their milk, somebody has the law on them.
[Ill.u.s.tration]
[Ill.u.s.tration: Those stars hold the stage. Take yer hat off.]
SUNDAY
MONDAY (1852) Crystal palace opened at New York.
Next week--New York people discover they cannot live in gla.s.s houses.
TUESDAY
WEDNESDAY (1841) London Punch first issued.
Same week--Great Gloom settles over London.
THURSDAY
FRIDAY (1906) Secretary Taft visits Greenville, S. C., and opens campaign.
Same date--Democrats of "Solid South" gaze at Taft in dismay and exclaim, "We are lost, we had no idea the Republican party was so large!"
SAt.u.r.dAY
JULY
