Crowbar Nurse Chapter 10

“Christ… we were so busy looking around us that we didn’t notice her right there. Does she seem okay?”
“She’s unconscious… but she’s breathing, and her heartrate isn’t abnormal.”

I had one hand at the tip of her nose and the other on one of her wrists.
Her chest was rising and falling with every breath and I could feel her pulse by her radius. She wasn’t even that pale either.

“This girl is quite the villainess princess.”
“A vil—what?”

Kiryū’s face twisted in bewilderment.
I suppose he’s never heard of the term.

“Umm, you know how in dating sims for girls, there’s always an evil rich girl character?”
“Can’t say I’m familiar with female-oriented dating simulations.”
“That was rhetorical. But you seemed to know a thing or two about them given the way you were speaking.”
“…”
“… fine, whatever. The evil rich girl character hates the heroine and treats her like dirt, and in the end, gets her just deserts.”
“Oh, yeah, I get what you’re talking about… the punching bag for the player, in a sense.”
“… that’s a little blunt, but, I mean, you’re not wrong…”
“So, that’s the kind of character this girl is?”

Kiryū eyed the villainess princess who had lain on the ground.

“That’s right. Her name is Elizabeth.
She was the rival of the protagonist of a popular fantasy visual novel from about ten years back, called DokiDoki☆Alice in Bourgeoisie Country.”
“… what.”
“As I said, she’s from DokiDoki☆Alice in Bourgeoisie Country.”
“Huh?”
“How many times do I have to tell you that it’s DokiDoki☆Alice in Bourgeoisie Country. Elizabeth is an evil landlord who bought up lots of real estate and torments the protagonist because she moved in to one of Elizabeth’s properties without paying her respects. That cane over there? She uses it to beat the protagonist. Elizabeth may look cute, but she’s awfully ferocious, you know?”
“DokiDoki☆Alice in Bourgeoisie Country… I have never heard of a t.i.tle this absurd and ridiculous before.”

I could tell Kiryū was getting more exasperated as he muttered.

“Though the developer folded up quite a few years back, they still perform the DokiABC musical from time to time. It’s stubbornly popular.
Anyway, in the game, you’re supposed to build relations.h.i.+p with your tenants and buy up property with your goal of being the most powerful landlord in the world.”
“Tenants… property…”
“You even fight against unscrupulous gangsters trying to buy up land, ultimately leading to you protecting your tenants in a gunfight showdown.”
“… it, uhh, doesn’t exactly sound like it’d appeal to women, but what do I know…”

Kiryū slumped down and blinked blankly, seemingly sh.e.l.l-shocked from the newly acquired info.

“That’s why it’s funny though.
Her curled silver pigtails, her purple dress, and her mithril walking stick… that’s Elizabeth, no doubt about it. Evil princesses like her are a common trope in novels, but they don’t come up too often in games, hey?”
“… the more I think about it, the less I am sure of anything. Anyway, should we wake up said Elizabeth here?”

He wisely switched topics, to which I nodded yes while bending over to pat Elizabeth on the cheek.

“Hmm, I’m not sure if she’s a heavy sleeper or what, but she’s not waking up… she’s human, right?”

I looked up at Kiryū for an answer.

“… well, she’s clearly a character from another game. She’s got to be human.”

His answer sounded more like a sigh.

“Let me try swinging a little harder… hmm, no, nothing.”
“Slap her any harder and I’d start feeling bad. Let’s leave it at this.
There’s something more important, actually. Let me see your phone.”

His tone made it sound like he had a bright idea, so I reached into my pocket and pulled it out for him.

“Since we’re not in a proper part of the game, there shouldn’t be any enemies sneaking up on us.
Staying here for the rest of our journey would be preferable.”
“That makes sense… oh, the pa.s.scode is my birthday, ‘0511’.”
“Change it right now.”
“Noooo, don’t wanna.”
“I’m not asking.”
“Ouch, ouch, ouch! Fine! How about, umm… ‘1337’?”
“No, because now I know it. Don’t go telling people your pa.s.scode. And add a few more digits too, so it’ll be harder for people to memorize.
You never know when people are going to trick you with social engineering.”
“Jeez, you nag more than my mother. I’ll change it as soon as I get back to the real world, okay?”
“… I’m going to hold you to it. That’s a promise now, you hear?”

Unimpressed at my half-hearted reply, Kiryū scowled as he tapped the four digits to unlock my phone.

“… to no one’s surprise, we’ve got zero reception.
Was there anything else different on your phone aside from that ‘Unt.i.tled’ app?”
“No. Gah, I’ve only got 30% battery left. It would be nice to find a place to charge up.”
“I don’t think we’ll have any luck here. We don’t have a Micro-USB cable anyway.”

It’d probably be better not to get my hopes up in finding some way to charge my phone here in Confi City.

“… alrighty. Why don’t we try launching this ‘Unt.i.tled’ app…?”

Uncertainty plagued Kiryū’s words as he kept his sight fixed on my phone.

“Let’s take a look and see what happens, I guess…”

My response wasn’t any more confident.
This ‘Unt.i.tled’ intrigues me… but should we really be tapping on it?
It’s not some sort of cursed app, is it? It’s not going to start a countdown to our demise or anything?

I was scaring myself more than anything…

“… oh, s.h.i.+t!”

His voice took me by surprise, both because it was sudden and very unlike him. The next thing I knew, my phone was back in my hands.

“Huh?”

What came immediately was the piercing ring of metal clas.h.i.+ng against metal.

“Whoa?!”

I instinctively ducked and curled up into a ball before I dared to look at what was above me…

—The evil princess, Elizabeth, sent her mithril stick down upon my head, only to be intercepted by Kiryū’s crowbar at the last possible moment.

☆

“… I’m ready for your apology anytime now.”

Like swatting a fly, Kiryū effortlessly parried Elizabeth’s attack while flatly sending his words at her.
She disappointedly looks down at her cane, frustrated at her loss in the test of strength. To be fair, Kiryū is uncannily powerful…

“We have no hostile intentions towards you. However, what you have just done cannot be seen as anything other than an act of hostility. Do you understand?”
“…”

Elizabeth’s kept silent—her loss of words and doubt of what was the correct action were evident.
She chose to raise her weapon again.  Kiryū responded with no leniency and knocked her weapon away from her hand. Her fighting spirit was similarly disarmed.

“From what I can tell, you had awakened, stood up, scanned your surroundings, and immediately elected to attack as soon as you had noticed us.”

His words were calm as so was she. Rather, it would be more apt to describe Kiryū as composed as he picked his words very carefully.

“What reasons do you have to attack us? Explain yourself.”
“…”
“I will not do act with violence if you were to explain yourself. However, keep your silence up and… I, if not we, will consider you as an enemy.”

The gravity and severity of Kiryū’s tone weighed down on Elizabeth, who now seemed to be holding back tears as she bit her lower lip.
I felt not so much uncomfortable, as much of a sense of déjà vu, perhaps?
His speech was obviously unusual, but the cold and logical manner of his words were… like from some game… and how he stared blankly into the distance front of him… hmm…

“… umm, just wanted to double-check, but Elizabeth, you’re a human being from j.a.pan, right?”

I raised my hand as I spoke up, almost as if I were asking for permission.

“Kiryū—err, this man here—him and I are were working overtime in a j.a.panese firm and hospital, respectively, before we were transported here.
Were you a person in a similar situation? Or perhaps, are you from this game—or rather, this parallel universe?”

My question was met with Elizabeth shaking her head and a scoff, directed at herself if anything.

“… no, I’m no NPC. I’m just a regular human being who was just working overtime as well. So, who am I this time? Elizabeth?”
“What do you mean ‘this time’?”

Kiryū immediately picked up what she put down.

“You’re saying you’ve had this happen to you before?”
“… yeah, I suppose.
If I look like a character from a game and this world is some sort of incomprehensible game world, then… yes, something like this has happened to me before.”

She spoke slowly. But unlike before where she was calm, now she was deliberating on her choice of words.

“Your character is… Kiryū Sōichirō from Rainbow Dreams High School☆Fantasia, right? And you over there?”
“Umm, I’m Sera, the heroine from DC2. I mean, I look like her is all.”
“Of course. So… whose phone is that?”

She pointed towards the phone that had been tossed onto me.
Just as I was about to respond to her though, Kiryū stopped me in my tracks, perhaps to prevent me carelessly divulging any information.

Elizabeth knew what was up just from that.
The smirk on her face was sickening. She looked like… she was about to cry—like as if she was forced to do something unpleasant.
It was an expression of someone who fights back against the odds, knowing full well how grim they are.

“… I see.  So, it’s yours, Sera.”
“What does that have anything to do with anything?”

Perhaps he was being protective of me, Kiryū stepped in between Elizabeth and me as he answered her.
Oh, no… did I mess up and say something wrong?

“As I have mentioned before, you attacked us all of a sudden. Anyone else would have been too stunned to do anything, but you knew what to do from the moment you looked at our surroundings,” he pointed around as he spoke,
“The way you attacked us, you seemed like you knew exactly what you had to do.”
“…”
“That means you know what’s going on here and you know how to get out, don’t you?”

His sternness now was a stark contrast to the Kiryū just moments ago, stuffing herbs in his pockets and flailing his crowbar around.
Any bystander could tell that he was being on guard.

“Heheh… you’ve hit the nail on the head.
You could say I know a little something about this world.”

Elizabeth mockingly scoffed again. And as before, the tears in her eyes didn’t seem to be happy tears.

“… the girl is the ‘core’ of this game. For as long as she lives, this game will never end.”

■Villainess Princess

A trope most commonly a.s.sociated with female-oriented web novels and seldomly seen in video games. Usually, before the evil rich princess character gains her riches, status, and men, she would have a tragic backstory or event. This usually elicits the player’s empathy, making them question why she is in the role of the antagonist. It is also perhaps the way she overcame her adversity was how the rich girl was led onto the path of the villainess.

Author’s notes

In the field of disaster medicine, it is taught that when triaging without a proper blood pressure meter, systolic blood pressure can be approximated by feeling which areas of the body still has a palpable pulse. A radial pulse should measure 80 mmH, 70 mmHg by femoral pulse, 60 mmHg by carotid pulse, etc.
For example, if only the patient’s carotid pulse is palpable, their pulse pressure should be about 60 mmHg. If a patient’s normal blood pressure is unknown, a rough rule of thumb would be to consider them to be in shock if if their systolic blood pressure reads under 90 mmHg.
(The author’s notes were translated without any prior knowledge or understanding of medicine. Please do not use it as any sort of reference or help. Apply critical thinking to anything you read anywhere.)

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