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The smaller man fell silent then. There had been a note in his master's tone that he did not like; one that he knew better than to argue with. After a moment of staring at the larger 112.
111.
man, his eyes followed his captain's to the door of the back]
room. He couldn't help but wonder what was going on inside.
"Why can't Scully cook like this?"
"He'd pout for days if he heard that, Robby."
"Oh, I don't know. Maybe he'd just learn to cook."
Smokey shook her head at their antics and poured herself another cup of tea. They had been telling stories and carrying on for the last two hours.
When Dallas saw Smokey pouring out, he pushed his mug toward her and she filled his also. The move was so relaxed and feminine that for a moment Dallas could only stare at her.
Smokey stared back, thinking of their time on the island and wis.h.i.+ng she had Dallas to herself. Dallas' thoughts nearly mirrored Smokey's, but he knew that now was not the time or place to pursue the matter.
Indeed, had they been alone they might have leaned close and begun to talk in quiet tones, but Mic began a story just then and Dallas forced himself to turn and listen. What he heard caught his full attention at once, and romantic thoughts were momentarily swept aside.
"I swear we'd be out forever with Smokey's pa. My wife gave birth to my twin boys while I was out roaming the world.
Not Smokey, though. She likes to stay close to home, much to the pain and frustration of every captain sailing the North Atlantic." All the men laughed, and he went on.
"Do you remember the time when we beat the Katie Lynn out of Halifax? You could have hung a shark hook on the captain's mouth, it was so wide open. Dallas here is too much of a pup to appreciate all I'm speaking of, but believe me, the captain here has been the victor for more than her share of spoils."
"On the contrary," Dallas put in smoothly, his voice dry, but not bitter. "I'm well aware of Smokey's effect on the trade."
"Meaning?" Da.r.s.ey wanted to know.
Dallas shrugged, growing a bit uncomfortable. "Like Mic id, most captains have experienced the aftermath of her ise."
A brief silence fell over the group.
"And in your case," Smokey spoke softly, "it keeps you that ^much further from realizing your dream to build s.h.i.+ps." : These words were said thoughtfully as Smokey stared intently at Dallas.
Dallas didn't answer, but returned her look for Just a moment and then lifted his mug to drain the contents. As soon as he set it back down, Smokey stood "It's growing late. Walk me back, will you, Da.r.s.ey?" Again her voice was soft. They left then, and the men followed soon after.
No one mentioned Smokey's proficiency or the speed of the Aramis again that night. In fact, it was not spoken of for many days, not until they were headed home and about a day's sail from Kennebunkport.
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smokey wondered if there could be a sight more breathtaking than the view of the sun rising over the Atlantic horizon.
The sky was a bit cloudy on this morning, which only added to the glow as she stood at the stern of her s.h.i.+p and gazed in awe As she did every time she witnessed this spectacle, she prayed.
This morning's prayers concerned the future I want to give him something, Lord; I want to give Dallas a chance to realize his dreams. I haven't been in the east for a long time, and I feel like my time behind a s.h.i.+p's wheel is drawing to a close. Smokey hesitated when she realized the thought did not upset her. It must be time for a change Close the door if I'm headed astray, Father, and give me wisdom in the days to come. One more long voyage to let Dallas have a chance, and then I'll think about selling the Aramis.
Smokey prayed until she heard footsteps behind her. It wasn't like any of her men to disturb her at this hour, but she a.s.sumed Da.r.s.ey had a question.
"If you'd rather be alone, just say the word"
The sound of Dallas' voice washed over Smokey like a warm spring shower. For just a moment her eyes slid shut. She was not some giddy, wide-eyed girl who lived her days in dreams and fantasies, but the thought of starting each morning with the sound of that voice made her want to jump and dance on the polished wood beneath her boots. Instead, she opened her eyes, uttered one more silent prayer, this time for strength, and turned to face him.
"I don't mind if you join me. It might be nice to have company."
Dallas stood beside her, taking no care to keep his distance.
He desperately wanted to thank her again for letting him join her crew, but even after he had prayed about what he wanted to say, no words would come. A good five minutes pa.s.sed in silence, each enjoying the glorious morning sun, before Dallas felt he had found the right words. But Smokey spoke before he had a chance to share them.
"I've given a lot of thought to what you told us at Clancy's Place, Dallas, and IVe made a decision that I hope will be a help to you." Having spoken to the waves, Smokey s.h.i.+fted then to see his face.
"I've decided to trade in eastern waters for a time. I usually stay close to home, but the men won't mind the change and I haven't been to Pakistan in years."
"How long will you be away?" Dallas asked, amazed that he sounded so calm.
Smokey shrugged "We'll leave in late January andbe gone six months, maybe a year. We'll see how it goes. IVe a few leads coming up in February, so I can pa.s.s those along to you if you're interested"
It was all so selfless and matter-of-fact that for a moment Dallas could find nothing to say. When he did speak, only one word would come.
"Why?"
"Why what?" Smokey frowned in genuine confusion.
"Why are you doing this?"
The real answer to that question was the last thing Smokey wanted Dallas to know, but rather than admit this, she shrugged and answered as best she could "Jenny is my friend, and you're her brother. I think you're my friend too."
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"Is that what we are, Smokey, friends?" Dallas'voice dropped in intensity, and for a moment Smokey misunderstood him.
"I realize that on this s.h.i.+p I'm your captain, but we're almost home, so..." Smokey hesitated when a horrid thought occurred to her. "If you think I'm going to be a nuisance when we get to Maine, you needn't worry. I'm done with spilling my water and staring like a fool."
"That's not what I meant," Dallas cut her off before she could go on, his voice filled with pain. How in the world did he tell this woman what he was feeling, when he could barely identify the emotions himself? Was he in love? He didn't know.
Was he captivated? Extremely.
"It's a long time for you to be gone," Dallas finally managed, but Smokey's stance was still guarded "I'll miss you," he finished quietly. For a moment Smokey could only stare at him.
"Did you mean that?" She had to know.
"YesJ'
Again Smokey stared. "I'll miss you too."
Smokey truly believed it would happen this time. Dallas'
gaze was locked on Smokey's mouth, and his head was lowering.
The small brunette's face tipped in antic.i.p.ation. Smokey's crew had other ideas, however. Scully came topside before Seeing about breakfast, and Robby came to check on Da.r.s.ey, who had been at the wheel since 3:00 am. Again the spell was broken, only this time Smokey did not immediately turn into Dallas' skipper. Taking a step away from him, she spoke for his ears alone, her eyes mirroring the pain inside.
"I honestly wonder what it would be like to kiss you, Dallas. But now that I'm thinking a little clearer, I've remembered that you have a girl at home. It's probably best we forget this."
Dallas had no clue what to say to this kind of honesty. For the moment he had forgotten all about Kathleen. In all fairness to both her and Smokey, he knew he owed Kathleen an explanation before pursuing someone else. He determined 115.
again to take care of that soon after he returned It Idn't change the fact that Smokey was going away, but at it he could bid her farewell with a clear heart.
"Thank you for reminding me, Smokey. I hope we'll know fcach other much better in the future, but you're right, for now I am somewhat committed"
As hard as it was to thank Dallas and walk away, Smokey managed to gather her wits and do so. She had never felt for anyone the way she felt for Dallas, but he was not free to return her feelings and might never be. Smokey knew that the sooner she realized this the quicker the ache in her tender, young heart would heal.
"I feel as if you've been gone forever. Did you have a good Christmas?"
"I did," Smokey told her friend "I thought about your offer, Jen, but I missed Willa and hadn't seen some of her family for a while, so--"
"I understand," Jenny told her with a smile. "We did miss your being here, though. To make up for it we're throwing you a party."
"A party? What for?"
"A going-away party. Dolly told me what you're doing for him, and I thought of the party last night when I was supposed to be sleeping. The only person I've told is Buck...oh, and Tate too. It will be a dinner party, a week from this Sat.u.r.day, and we'll invite all your friends."
"I don't have many," Smokey told her good-naturedly.
"You have more than you think," Jenny told her cryptically.
"What do you mean?"
"You remember Greer Rittenhouse?" Jenny went on at Smokey's nod "I saw her while you were gone. She was very impressed with you, and extremely pleased with how well 116.
you liked her home. Buck is going to ask her to come with him."
"Are they seeing each other again?" Smokey asked eagerly.
Jenny shook her head sadly. "I'm still praying. Buck is trying to give her the time she wants, but he's truly a man in love."
"Why, Buck," Greer spoke with genuine pleasure at the sight of him.
"h.e.l.lo, Greer. May I come in?"
"Of course." The lovely widow stepped back, and Buck moved across the threshold. As always, her home was immaculate, but Buck had eyes for Greer alone.
"How have you been?" he asked softly.
"Lonely and confused," she admitted, her voice just as muted as Buck's. "And yourself?"
"Lonely, but not confused."
Greer knew exactly to what he referred. He was still as much in love with her as ever. She looked into his eyes and desperately wished she could return the words, but she just wasn't sure.
When she had first met Hank Rittenhouse, many years before, the situation had been reversed. She had fallen for him immediately, and he'd been unsure of her. At one point, he had confessed his love for her, only to come two days later and say he'd spoken in haste. He had been in love with another woman, and he confessed that he had begun seeing Greer to put the other woman from his mind.
Greer's young heart had felt so used, she thought she would die. The year that followed was a long, painful one, but in the end Hank had in fact come to love her. Once married, their time had been joyous Greer felt as if something had been wrenched from her when he died 117.
And then Buck had come into her world. He was as different from Hank as any man could be, but he made her laugh and forget some of her loneliness. At first she'd been sure that he was G.o.d's gift for her, but then thoughts of Hank would crowd in upon her in the night. By morning, she would convince herself that she was acting unfaithfully whenever she saw Buck. The only time she had been more confused was when she and Hank had been courting.
"Are you all right, Greer?" Buck interrupted her thoughts.
"I think so," she admitted. "As usual, my thoughts are running wild and working to make me anxious."
They moved into one of the s.p.a.cious sitting rooms where huge windows opened out toward the sea. Each took a comfortable chair by the fire.
"If you'd like to share, you know I'll listen, but I'm actually here to ask you out to dinner." Buck ignored the way she stiffened and continued in an easy tone.
"Jenny is giving a dinner party next Sat.u.r.day night. It's for Smokey Simmons, and she told me to feel free to invite you."
"I liked Smokey when I met her, Buck. She's very sweet. Is it her birthday or some special occasion?"
"She's going away for a time, and the party is something of a sendoff."
Greer hesitated and then spoke with a measured tone. "I would like to go with you--"
"But you want to be certain that I understand it's just as friends?" Buck finished for her. Greer's eyes filled with tears over his understanding.
"It's all right, Greer." Buck's voice was soothing; he'd prepared himself for just that. "We'll go as friends because that's what we are--friends."
"Thank you, Buck," she whispered He leaned close then and took her hand. Greer was so thankful for his tender touch that she began to tremble. Buck desperately wanted to hold this small woman who fit into his arms so well, but he kept his seat and prayed that in time she 118.
would know that his love was a safe thing and nothing to be feared "Are we friends, Smokey?"
"Why, Jen," Smokey said with a laugh. "What are you talking about?"
Jenny's frown was in reality a good-natured scowl. "Your party is just a week away, and I've made some decisions."
"About?" Smokey prompted her and tried not to laugh at the determined look on her friend's face.
Jenny hesitated, and Smokey was more confused than ever. She was telling herself that being pregnant must change a person. Jenny had been acting strangely for two days.
"I want to dress you and do your hair for the party," Jenny suddenly blurted and then held her breath.
It was on Smokey's tongue to laugh and tell her friend that she'd been dressing herself for years when she suddenly understood her meaning. She stood and came to sit close to Jenny on the settee.
"Do you mean that, Jen?" Smokey's eyes had turned eager.
Jenny smiled.
When the younger woman answered, her tone was dry.