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"Okay. Have a good show."
"I'll be thinking of you the whole time."
Before I could respond, the line went dead.
Fifteen minutes later, there was a frantic knock at the door. When I opened it, Susan was panting. "Go. Go, Amelia!"
"It might be too late. The show will be over when I get there."
"Yes. But you'll get to see him before they take off, right?"
"I think so. I'm not sure exactly when the bus leaves for the next city."
"Don't waste time talking to me. Just tell me where Bea is."
"She's sleeping. I left a long note with instructions on the counter."
"I've got it." She waved me off. "Go get your man, Amelia."
Blowing her a kiss, I said, "I owe you big time. Thank you for this."
It had been a while since I last drove on the highway at night. The beginnings of a panic attack started to creep in as I sped up I-95. Trying to focus on seeing Justin and not the cars whizzing past me, I was able to keep the panic from escalating into a full-blown attack. The GPS served as my co-pilot because I had no idea where I was going. This part of Ma.s.sachusetts was completely foreign to me.
Sweat permeated my body as I got closer. Even though it was cold out, I turned on the air conditioner for circulation to calm myself. What was I doing? The show was over. I hadn't texted him. I told myself it was because I wanted to surprise him, but a part of me wanted to see what things were like when he wasn't expecting me.
Parking in the large lot outside of the venue, I wrapped my arms around myself. I'd rushed out of the house so fast, I'd forgotten a coat. Running in my high-heeled boots-the same ones I'd worn with my Catwoman costume-I made my way to a tall chain-link fence which separated the VIP area from the parking lot.
Two black tour buses with tinted windows sat just inside the gate. A guard wearing a headset stood at the entrance. Groups of women gathered nearby, probably hoping for a glimpse of the artists.
My breath was visible in the night air as I flashed my special badge and spoke to the guard. "Is the show over?"
"Almost. Calvin is in the middle of the last set."
"Where can I find Justin Banks? He gave me this access card."
"Justin is in Bus Two. That's the one on the right."
My heart was hammering against my chest as I made my way through the gravelly lot to the bus.
I opened the door. To my surprise, no one seemed to be inside. That was what I a.s.sumed until noises coming from the back bedroom proved otherwise. There were several coffin-like beds on the sides, but Justin had mentioned that each bus had one master suite in the back. The crew and he alternated who got to sleep in it each night.
A lump formed in my throat as I approached the closed wooden door. The sound of a woman moaning could be heard from behind it.
The guard had said Justin was in here.
I had to know.
I had to open it. I had to see it with my own eyes.
My faith might have been blind, but it was about to get an eyeful.
Slowly turning the k.n.o.b, I inched the door open a crack. All I saw was a mane of dark hair. A woman was riding him as he lay flat. It looked like Olivia, but I didn't know for sure. It could have been any woman. It didn't matter who it was. They didn't notice me. My stomach started to turn and bile was rising. I couldn't look anymore. I just couldn't.
Exiting the bus, my legs felt wobbly. Too shocked to cry, I walked in a daze as numbness consumed me. My vision was blurry. My heart felt like it was cracking slowly with each step out of the bus. Was I an idiot for thinking he would wait? That he could withstand the enormous temptation being thrown in his face every day? He never made any promises, and that was for good reason.
You're a fool, Amelia.
I would have expected to be crying, but for some reason, the shock seemed to freeze my tear ducts. My eyes felt raw, cold, devoid of any ability to produce moisture.
My phone chimed from an incoming text.
I missed you tonight so f.u.c.king much.
CHAPTER 19.
What?
How could he be texting me while he's f.u.c.king someone else?
Adrenaline rushed through me, taking my nerves on a roller coaster ride of emotions.
Amelia: Are you on the bus?
Justin: No. At Dave and Buster's down the road from the venue getting a drink. How's Bea feeling?
It wasn't him.
It wasn't him f.u.c.king that girl on the bus!
Clutching my chest, I let out the breath that seemed to have been trapped inside, suffocating me a moment earlier. It felt like I'd been shot with a tranquilizer gun full of euphoria.
Amelia: Still has a cold. She's with my friend Susan because I'm here. Right outside your bus.
Justin: Holy f.u.c.k! Don't move. I'm heading back.
Rubbing my hands over my arms, I stood waiting in the cold for at least ten minutes. The two people who'd been s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g inside of the bus suddenly exited. The man was good-looking, but he was no Justin. I also confirmed that the female partic.i.p.ant definitely wasn't Olivia.
A crowd of women suddenly gathered toward the entrance. The guard could be heard saying, "Back. Back! Let him by!"
It was then that I saw Justin break through the swarm of people. He pa.s.sed through the chain-link fence and was looking around frantically before his gaze locked in on me.
The commotion around us seemed to dissipate as he walked toward me and enveloped me in his arms. I practically melted into him. He smelled like a mixture of cologne, smoke and beer. It was intoxicating and made me want to bathe in it. I wanted him all over me.
"You're cold as ice," he whispered into my ear.
"Just hold me. Keep me warm."
"I really need to do more than hold you right now." He pulled back to take me in, giving my outfit a once over. "f.u.c.k," he growled. "Don't take this the wrong way, but why do you look like a wh.o.r.e?"
"I was dressing for the occasion. Too much?"
"h.e.l.l no. This is just what I needed. It just p.i.s.ses me off that you were waiting around for me in public dressed like that. The f.u.c.king guys around here are worse than the girls. Anyone mess with you?"
"No." Looking down at myself, I said, "I'm sorry if it's too much. I just figured I had to compete with all those groupies."
"Don't apologize. But you don't have to compete with anyone, Amelia. You never did." He put his forehead on mine, and time seemed to stand still. "When I was performing tonight, all I could think about was how badly I wished you were here. I was at the bar drowning my sorrows when you texted. I still can't believe you made it." He took in a deep breath of the skin on my neck. "I'm hard as a rock just smelling you right now. We need to go somewhere to be alone. We don't have a lot of time before the buses leave."
"Where can we go?"
He placed his hands on my cheeks. "f.u.c.k. I just want to take you with me on the bus, spend the night with you until the sun rises over the next city."
"I would love that so much. I'm sorry I can't be the kind of girl that can just go on tour with you."
"You have bigger things to be taking care of. By the way, you sure this friend watching Bea is someone you can trust?"
"Yes. I wouldn't be here otherwise."
He rubbed my shoulders. "Stay right here. Let me just go check what time we're leaving Ma.s.sachusetts."
I waited as Justin ran to the other tour bus. When he returned, he looked anxious. "We have exactly two hours before the buses take off for Philly. I would introduce you to the band, but they'll talk your ear off, and I really don't want to waste this time."
"What are we gonna do?"
"They just told me there's a small hotel down the road. We can go there to be alone if you want. If you prefer, we can stay here, but then we'd have to socialize."
"Being alone sounds good to me."
Justin brushed his thumb along my cheek. "Good choice."
He took the keys from me and drove us to the hotel in my car. During the ride, he held my hand tightly and didn't let go. At one point, he flashed me a s.e.xy side glance. "G.o.d, you look good."
I joked, "Even though I look like a cheap groupie?"
"Especially because you look like a cheap groupie." He winked. His gaze returned to the road for a bit before his voice lowered. "I wasn't prepared for how lonely this tour was going to be. Seeing you makes me realize it even more."
We pulled into the hotel, and Justin checked us in and got us a key card. We had exactly one hour and forty-five minutes before he had to report back to the bus.
The room was dark, but neither of us turned on the light. Unsure of what was supposed to be taking place here, I waited for him to take the lead after the door clicked shut behind us.
He slowly prowled toward me then pressed his chest against mine. "Jesus. Your heart is pounding. Are you nervous to be alone with me or something?" Nuzzling my neck, he added, "The way I'm feeling right now, maybe you should be."
Scared to admit what was really eating away at me and also not wanting to ruin the mood, I remained silent, just staring at him before my gaze dropped to the floor.
He took my chin in his hand. "Look at me." When our eyes met, he said, "I haven't been with anyone else, Amelia...in case there was any question in your mind. I don't want anyone else. I hope you don't, either."
"How did you know what I'd been thinking just now?"
"I guess I'm just in tune to you like that. I had a feeling you needed that rea.s.surance. I don't want you wondering anymore about that." He kissed me on the forehead. "Now that we got that out of the way, I do need to be honest with you about something."
I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Okay."
"I somehow thought I could handle five months with no s.e.x, but the reality is...I'm feeling more like an animal in heat than a celibate monk."
I laughed. "Oh really." My tone turned serious. "Maybe I can help. Tell me what you need."
"Confession," he said over my lips. "I didn't exactly take you here so we could talk."
I kissed him. "Confession. I didn't exactly dress like a dirty groupie so you could sing to me."
His mouth was against mine as it curved into a wry smile. Within seconds, he took my face in his hands before his lips swallowed mine whole. A stifled moan escaped from me into his starving mouth as our tongues moved frantically to taste one another. I loved the controlled way he always grabbed my face when he kissed me. This time was different from any other moment we'd been together because it lacked any trace of caution or hesitation. He was unapologetically taking what he wanted, and I was fully letting him. We were both on the exact same page, surrendering to what our bodies needed, and nothing was off limits. If it weren't for the fact that he was leaving in an hour, this would have been like a dream come true. But we were on borrowed time, and we both knew it.
His hands slid slowly down my back as he grabbed my a.s.s, pus.h.i.+ng me against his erection and kissing me hard. He sucked my bottom lip before releasing it slowly. "Last chance to stop me."
"Make every second count," I said in between kisses. "For the next hour, my body is yours, Banks."
"I've only waited a decade to hear you say that."
That was where the conversation ended. Justin pressed his rock hard chest into me, pus.h.i.+ng me into the window. My back was against the gla.s.s as he began to kiss me so hard that my lips hurt from the suction. My hands took on a mind of their own, eager to explore him. I threaded my fingers through his hair, rubbed my palms down his chest, gripped his a.s.s. Overwhelmed, I wished I could touch every single part of him at once.
"It's going to be a while before we get to do this again. We need to make it last," he said as he fisted my hair and bent my head back. He kissed down my neck slowly. "Don't ever forget that I respect the h.e.l.l out of you," he said as he stuck his hand up my dress and grabbed onto my panties.
"Why do you say that?"
"Because I'm about to f.u.c.k you full of disrespect." He ripped my underwear off, the elastic burning my thighs from the friction.
My p.u.s.s.y was already wet and ready for whatever he had in mind. Whereas before he had gently kissed down my throat, now he was sucking hard on the skin at the base of my neck. I felt two of his fingers slip inside of my opening. His mouth stilled on my neck the moment that they were fully deep inside me. He said something unintelligible as he shook his head slowly in ecstasy before suddenly flipping me around so that I was facing the gla.s.s.
He pulled his fingers out and almost immediately I felt the burn of his c.o.c.k replacing them as he sunk into me. "f.u.c.k," he muttered.
I hadn't expected him to take me so soon. From the sound he let out when he was all the way inside of me, I don't think even he expected to lose control so fast.
It felt painfully pleasurable as my skin stretched to open for him. Justin's c.o.c.k was thick. I'd always admired its girth, but it was another experience altogether to actually feel how completely he filled me-skin to skin. He hadn't put a condom on, which surprised me. I was too weak to question it, enjoying the raw sensation too much to think about anything else. But I'd come prepared.
"Please tell me you're on the pill. I've never done it like this before, but I don't think I can stop either way. It feels too d.a.m.n good."
I'd never seem him lose control like this.
"I am. I just started taking it. Don't worry."
"Thank f.u.c.k." His muscles seemed to relax.