Uprising: A Collide Novel Part 33

I grabbed his face within my hands.

"Enough, Cain. Everyone tries to take the blame for everything around here. This is not your fault. This is their fault. Those filthy Lighters and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of them making us feel like we didn't do enough or we haven't sacrificed enough already. We have sacrificed everything. All of us. Don't feel guilty over a couple hours of fun when it wouldn't have changed the outcome, even if you had been here," I say firmly never letting him break my gaze.

"If you say so."

"I do."

"Sherry," he breathed. "You're too good to be true. You know that?"

"So I've been told," I joke and pull him in to hug me.

He squeezes me tightly around my waist and presses his face into the crook of my neck as I sit on my knees in the hall with him. He smells like a bar. Smoke, beer and sweat but surprisingly it kinda smells good on him.

I feel him nuzzle my neck a little closer. I think he's just getting more comfortable but then he rubs his face on my throat and I feel him inhale deeply. I panic for just a second, thinking he's drunk or grief stricken and about to do something he shouldn't so I pull back and ask questions instead.

"So, did Lillian enjoy herself at least? She needed a night out more than anyone I think."

He cleared his throat and sat back, crossing his arms.

"Yeah. She seemed to."

"So, did you kiss her or she kiss you."

He startled at my question and looked at the floor.

"I guess me. It was a game we had to play at the club. Look, do you really want to talk to me about this?"

"Why not? Lillian won't be any shape to tell me about it for a while and you've piqued my interest," I smile but he doesn't.

"I don't really want to talk about kissing girls with you, Sherry."

"Why not?"

"Because...I just don't."

"Are you sure you're ok? Can I get you something?"

"I'm ok. I'm gonna go in and sit with Lillian, make sure she's ok before heading to bed."

"I gotta go too. I'm surprised Merrick hasn't come looking for me yet. I gotta find Danny." I started to get up but looked back at him. He looked awfully sad or, I don't know, something strange. "You're sure you don't need anything?"

"No, sweet girl, I don't need anything," he said and smiled sadly as he helped me from the floor.

"Ok." I hugged him once more because he looked like he really needed it. "You know I love you, Cain, right? I'm glad you were safe tonight."

He blew out a long breath, blowing the hair at my neck.

"I love you too, Sherry." He released me and stepped back. "G'night."

He pushed her door open and went in without looking at me again so I turned and swiftly made my way down the hall to the rest of my family. I still hadn't seen Danny. Merrick told me he saw him go to the store with Celeste and that he was safe but he hadn't been down yet and I so needed to physically touch him and know he was ok.

I saw Merrick leaning over Ryan so I walked over and put my hand on his back to let him know I was there.

"Piper! Enough!" he bit out and turned with a look of red hot fury, then noticed me and immediately backpedaled his anger, softening his face a little. "Oh, Sherry. I thought... Never mind. Can you help me here?"

"Sure. What do you need?" I said and looked down at Ryan. "You ok, Ryan?"

"It's just a scratch," he said and I stopped dead in my tracks.

"A scratch? What kind of scratch?" I absently rubbed my shoulder.

"Not that kind. I can't be poisoned by them, Sherry."

He knew I was talking about the Markers mark, when they scratch you to mark you so the Lighters can find you. If the mark isn't burned you go into a coma. It was extremely painful, even now.

"Oh, good." I turned back to Merrick. "What do you need me to do, babe?"

"Can you wrap this?" He handed me a gauze pack and pointed to Ryan's leg, where they was a huge gash.

Not a scratch.

"Sure. You ok? You need to have your arm looked at."

I noticed his shoulder was still bleeding and his s.h.i.+rt torn and red in more than one place.

"I'm fine. I'll fix my arm in a minute. First Ryan. Then...you and I, we'll talk later," he said softly before heading off to someone else.

Before he walked off he turned and looked my pointedly in the eye and said something to me in my mind.

We'll talk about Piper. And well talk about you and Cain.

I jolted at what he said as he turned to walk away. Me and Cain? What did that mean? Piper? What did we have to talk about her for? And why did he bite my head off thinking I was her touching his back.

There is one Keeper who keeps causing problems around here and I'm about ready to stomp some black haired, nosy, interfering and careless Keeper behind.

I wrapped Ryan's leg as instructed and he was a good patient, as always. A very non-whiny patient. The best kind.

I tell him as much which he still apologizes and tried to make it seem like he's being a baby. Which I dutifully inform him that he is not.

After that I turn to survey the rest of them. Everyone is helping other or bandaging themselves or gone to bed by now, entirely exhausted and frustrated and sad.

Mike gone.

Trudy gone.

Aaron gone.

Mitch.e.l.l gone.

A mult.i.tude of others, gone.

Though most didn't know Mitch.e.l.l that well yet, it still hurts to see others hurting over him. It sucks to lose people. Especially so senselessly. What purpose did it serve? I'm not downplaying his sacrifice, absolutely not. He died trying to protect us and that's what I mean.

If this enemy, this nuisance in black and darkness would just head home and stop this undeserved takeover of our planet, then Mitch.e.l.l wouldn't have felt the need to die for us. I'm sick of it all.

In fact I'm starting to wonder if 'sweet Sherry' is getting a little bitter. A little too much acid on my tongue, a little too many tears trailing out against my will, a little too much worrying and scrounging for some semblance of humanity and understanding. What if the next thing is the last straw? What if I can't take it? What if the final step is now and I'm forever scarred and bitter and p.i.s.sed?

I can't think about that now, as another woman who fought against a nonsensical takeover Scarlett O'Hara would say, I'll think about that tomorrow.

Finally. Finally after my internal debate over my level of resentment is over, I see Danny coming down the stairs. He's dirty but otherwise intact and towing a tear streaked Celeste behind him.

"Danny," I hear myself say and he looks up to meet my gaze.

I make quick strides to him and he engulfs me in his free arm.

"Danny! Why didn't you come tell me you were alright? I've been worried sick about both of you!"

"I've been with Celeste, up in the store. I told Merrick to-"

"He did but hearing is not the same as seeing," I chide and then turn to Celeste. "Is she ok? Margo?"

"She's still refusing to come out," Celeste says indignantly, wiping her eyes with her forefinger. "She's being ridiculous and now I'll get no sleep at all worrying about her."

"Ah, she'll be ok. Guilt is a big thing to handle."

"She didn't do anything wrong! She had nothing to be guilty about!" she yelled.

Celeste has never raised her voice to me or anyone that I can remember. Sweet, easy going, prim blonde adorable Celeste just practically screamed at me, right here in front of everyone.

"Celeste," I start softly and Danny starts to say something, it looks in my defense, but I cut him off with a hand up, and speak softer. "Sweetie, I know she didn't do anything wrong. That's what I'm saying. The guilt over something you think you did, but didn't actually have any control over is almost worse than if you had done it on purpose. I know."

I'm thinking, of course, about that day Cain and I got lured outside by the Lighter and tricked. Our family came to our rescue and by the end of the day, two of them had died. I was right there with Margo in the bathroom, feeling her guilt and shame. Not wanting to face anyone and see their looks of blame but worst of all, not wanting to see their looks of pity or absolution.

Celeste blanched ay my words. Her blue eyes so bright against her pale skin and the angry red of her cheeks and eyes rimmed and gleaming with frustrated tears.

She knew exactly what I was referring to. I can see it written all over her face. She glanced around self consciously at the faces who were watching us. Watching her outburst.

"Sherry." The tears fall again and she reaches to hug me, jerking herself free from Danny's grasp. She squeezes me tightly and her voice is m.u.f.fled in my hair. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. All you ever try to do is help I just...she's being so stubborn and I don't know what to do. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me."

"There's nothing to forgive. You're upset. We all are. It's been a bad day." I pull Danny to me with a hand on his arm and speak quietly to them both as we huddle there. "I'm so glad you're both are ok. I was so worried about you out there. I wish I could be more help but... You're safe now. That's what matters. I love you guys so much. I don't know what I'd do without you."

It's kinda comical, me, short little me, being the motherly figure of this scenario. Giving the 'I'm so glad you're home safe' speech to two kids who have almost a foot of height on me. It's also ironic that before I would have gotten snorts and sarcasm from my brother but now...

"I love you too, sis. I'm glad you always get stuck inside. That way, I don't want to have to worry about you, too."

He glanced at Celeste for a second and she gives him a little 'we've talked about this' look. I had wondered how he felt about her rus.h.i.+ng out to the front lines, now I guess I know. And I'm proud of him for at least trying to protect her.

Celeste turns to hug me again.

"I love you too, Sherry. I'm sorry, again." She rubs her hands over her face and through her hair. "I'm not gonna sleep a wink. I'm going to get a pillow and head back up to sit by the door with her. Bye, Sherry. Thank you."

"No problem."

"I'm gonna go with her," Danny said quickly.

"You should. That's what good boyfriends do."

He smiled at me and rolled his eyes, tweaking my nose before he ran to catch up.

Merrick found me later, in the kitchen. I was getting some things ready for the next day, food wise, chopping onions and measuring rice for soup.

Most everyone had turned in. It was incredibly late, or incredibly early I should say. Almost five in the morning now. I couldn't go to bed by myself and didn't want to look for Merrick, for some strange misplaced fear of what he wanted to talk about. Plus, I didn't want to interfere with his duties of helping the others.

"Hey," he said and stopped in the doorframe.

"Hey. How is everyone?" I asked as I wiped my hands on the dishtowel.

"Asleep. Finally. I went to our room but you weren't there."

"No. I didn't want to go without you. I hoped you'd come get me when you were done."

"Well, I'm done."

"Ok. Let me just-"

"Sherry." He waited for me to turn and look, then he took a deep breath before he spoke again. "What's going on with you and Cain?"

What?! What does he mean?

"I'm sorry?"

"You're sorry you didn't understand what I said or you're apologizing because you got caught."

I felt my lips part in surprise and my eyes go wide.

"What?"

"Just tell me. I'm a big boy, Sherry. I can take it. Just tell me why," he said a little snidely and I almost choked on my answer.

"What?" I repeated.