Trapped by Malays Part 7

"Glad of it. What is it, then? It can't be money."

"Oh no, sir."

"Of course not. No temptations here to spend. Then you have got into some big sc.r.a.pe?"

"I am always getting into sc.r.a.pes, sir."

"Yes; and the Major had you up to give you a wigging, as you call it, only yesterday."

"How did you know that, sir?" cried the lad excitedly.

"The Doctor knows pretty well everything about people, and what he doesn't know for himself his women find out for him. Now then, what is it?"

"I am afraid you will laugh at me, sir."

"I promise you I shall not."

"Thank you, sir; that's encouraging."

"To the point, boy--to the point."

Archie Maine drew a deep breath as if to pull himself together, and then as he met the Doctor's searching eyes they seemed to draw out of him that which he wished to say.

"I am afraid, Doctor," he said excitedly, "that I have got something wrong with my head."

"Why? Pain you? Feeling of confusion?"

The lad shook the part of his person mentioned.

"Dizziness?"

"Oh no, sir; nothing of that sort."

"Well, go on. A doctor isn't a magician. Have you got a bad tooth?

You must tell him which one to attack with his key preliminary to the scraunch."

"Oh, you are laughing at me, Doctor."

"Only smiling, my dear boy."

"I don't see anything to laugh at, sir, because it is a serious thing to me."

"Good lad. I smiled because I felt happy over you since it didn't seem to be anything serious."

"But it _is_ serious, sir."

"Let's hear. You say you have got something wrong with your head?"

"Well, I suppose it is my head, sir. But you know I am always getting into some trouble or another."

"Exactly. You are notorious for your boyish pranks."

"Yes, sir; and I want to get the better of it. It's as the Major said: the troubles I get into are boys' troubles, and not suitable to a young man."

"The Major's wise, Archie. Then why don't you put off all your boyish mischief and remember that you are now pretty well a man grown, and, as one of our lads would say in his c.o.c.kney lingo, 'act as sich?'"

"Because I can't, Doctor," said the lad earnestly. "I want to act as a man. I'm six feet two, and I shave regularly."

"Humph!" grunted the Doctor, who had to make an effort to keep his countenance.

"And whenever I get into trouble I make a vow that I'll never do such a childish, schoolboyish thing again; but it's no use, for before many days have pa.s.sed, something tempts me, and I find myself doing more foolish things than ever. Can it be that there is some screw loose in my head?"

The Doctor sat looking earnestly in the lad's agitated countenance, for his brow was one tangle of deeply marked wrinkles.

"I think sometimes I must be going mad, or at all events growing into an idiot, and you can't think how wretched and despairing it makes me. Do you think medicine--tonic or anything of that sort--would do me good?"

The Doctor gazed at the lad fixedly till he could bear it no longer, and he was about to speak again, when the adviser uttered a loud expiration of the breath, jumping up at the same time and clapping his hands heavily on his visitor's shoulders.

"No, my lad, I don't," he cried boisterously. "You are sound as a bell, strong as a young horse. Why, you ought to be proud of yourself instead of fidgeting with a lot of morbid fancies. You have been for years and years a boy, fresh--larky, as you would say--full of mischief, as I was myself--"

"You, Doctor! Impossible!"

"What! Ha, ha! Why, Archie Maine, I have watched you pretty thoroughly since we have been friends, noted your pranks, and seen the trouble you have got into with the Major. Oh yes; I believe I was much worse than you. And you are now changing into the man, when most fellows of your age begin thinking more of others than of themselves; though they are pretty good at that latter, and particularly fond of arranging their plumage so as to excite admiration. But you held on to your merry, mischievous boyhood, so take my advice and don't worry yourself any more. I hope you have got many, many years to come, and you will find yourself serious enough then. So you thought yours might be a case for medical advice? Not it!"

"But!"--e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed Archie.

"But me no buts, as the man said in the book. You will be cured fast enough in the first real trouble that comes upon us and makes its genuine appeal to your manhood."

"But I get plenty of trouble now, Doctor," protested the lad.

"Bah! A bit of a rowing--a snub from the Major! Trifles, boy. Those are not real troubles. I mean times when you find out that you really are a man, that others' lives are perhaps depending upon you as a soldier for preservation. My dear boy, all you have got to do is not to try to be a man. Nature will do that. Your full manhood will come quite soon enough. Only try to drop a little of the boy, for you are a bit too young. Well, what are you staring at?"

Archie's face was more wrinkled than ever.

"Ah, I see," continued the Doctor. "You are doubting whether you shall believe me. Here's a pretty fellow! Comes to a medical man for advice, and begins to doubt him as soon as the advice is given.--Here, Maria-- Minnie!"

"No, for goodness' sake, Doctor! And Sir Charles is there!"

"No, he isn't. I heard him start ten minutes ago."

"But you are not going to tell them what I said?"

"Do I ever tell my patients' secrets to anybody? Now, look here, Archie; you want to jump right into your manhood at once?"

"Of course I do, sir."

"Well, my lad, I'm afraid you won't have long to wait, for if I'm not very much mistaken your cure is coming."

"What! mischief with the Malays, sir?"