Memory Lost Chapter 137

Chapter 137: My Fear

Su Mian is indeed a person who has never been afraid of anything .

She’s not afraid of how ruthless her opponent is, and she’s not afraid of danger or getting hurt .  Even with A, L, and R being this cruel, it only further excites her stubbornness and pa.s.sion .  Being afraid of them? That’s impossible!

But, when S’s profile appears in her heart, a certain feeling of familiarity as if it’s something that has been asleep inside her body for a long time, suddenly invades her heart .

That feeling is fear .

Her fear toward S .

He’s like a bottomless pit .  Quiet, mysterious, powerful, and cold .  You cannot turn back . The moment you do, you’ll be trapped inside .

“What I’m afraid of is S . ”  After finis.h.i.+ng saying these words, Su Mian digs her hand into her long hair in frustration .  She lowers her head and continues smoking . Xiao Zhuan’s jaw drops . He feels his head spin as he murmurs, “Therefore……you feel that their ultimate goal is you?”

Su Mian keeps quiet for a moment before answering, “Mm .  Han Chen said that we need to find the link between those cases from before .  But what he didn’t mention was that there is already a link between them, which is me .  The invitation letter was sent to me; the rhymes needed me to solve them——because only I understand them; the dance was for me .  Do you remember that in L’s dance video, A and R were standing on the left, leaving a big s.p.a.ce on the right?  Whom was it reserved for? It was for me and S . ”

Xiao Zhuan’s eyes widen and he’s speechless .  He then hears Su Mian continue fretfully, “In the end, the choice between you and Forensic Investigator Xu was also decided by me .  The unlocking of the pa.s.scode was my fourth finger of my right hand . What does this mean? And the person they were going to kill was Xu Si Bai, who has feelings for me, and not you . ”

Xiao Zhuan says almost losing his voice, “I get it now!  So the three of them has done so much because they want you to be the lady of their camp?”

Su Mian remains quiet for a second and then says, “You shut up!  Can you not be an idiot at times like this?! I feel that they’ve done all these not for the sake of committing crimes, but rather is to transmit a message . ”

Xiao Zhuan asks curiously, “What kind of message?”

Su Mian watches the smoke rise between her fingers .  She strokes her head and looks outside of the window, “To have me and everybody know the existence of the seven-member organization and their spirit .  To let people feel fright while showing kindness and power to me, torturing my will and destroying my spirit . ” She pauses and then says, “Perhaps my undercover life in the past makes them feel that I will return to their center in the end and become S’s woman .  All of this could be understood as calling out to me .  Their way of calling . ”

She says these words calmly while Xiao Zhuan feels cold sweat down his spine as he listens .  But Su Mian’s explanation makes sense!

“No!  They are absolutely crazy!  They’re dreaming! You are a member of the Black s.h.i.+eld Team, and you won’t separate from Han Chen!  What does this have to do with them!” he shouts .

Su Mian looks out of the window, inhales from the cigarette and doesn’t say a word .

Xiao Zhuan thinks for a second and asks, “So……that S guy, what role does he play in all of this?  Is he the planner?”

“Probably,” Su Mian answers lightly, “Even in the case from five years ago, he never showed himself and never committed the crimes directly .  He only stood behind them .

“But it’s been so many years that they haven’t appeared and he hasn’t done anything to you .  Why now?… . . ” Xiao Zhuan says full of doubt .

Su Mian doesn’t have an answer to this question either .  She remains quiet for a good while before responding, “I don’t know .  I don’t really know what happened back then either . But now that they’ve decided to take action again……maybe it’s because I’m not living the life that they first arranged for me; or maybe because another three of them died because of me; or maybe because Han Chen and I are together again and the Black s.h.i.+eld Team insists on finding the truth about what happened back then . ”  She lifts her eyes to look at Xiao Zhuan, “Therefore, this battle is finally here . ”

Xiao Zhuan doesn’t know what to say .

Su Mian tosses the cigarette b.u.t.t away .  She wraps her arms around her legs and avoids looking at him, “Xiao Zhuan, can you leave first .  I want to be by myself for a while . Please don’t tell Han Chen the things that I’ve said to you just now .  I don’t want him to worry . ”

“……Oh, okay,” Xiao Zhuan nods and leaves .

_____

After Xiao Zhuan leaves, Su Mian falls into a daze for a while before hopping off of the pile of boxes .  She opens the window to vent the smell away . After making sure there is no obvious smell of cigarettes on her body, she then walks toward the exit .

She opens the door .  Outside is an empty hallway .  It’s already 1 in the afternoon, so there are not a lot of people outside .  She takes half a step outside and freezes .

Someone is standing at the side of the wall just outside of the door .

Han Chen stuffs both hands into his pockets and turns his head to look at her .  His pitch-black pupils are like two bottomless pits .

She doesn’t know how long he has been standing there .

Su Mian immediately understands .  She told Xiao Zhuan not to tell Han Chen, but that fellow is super loyal to Han Chen, so he must have reported everything back to him right after leaving .

Su Mian immediately understands .  She told Xiao Zhuan not to tell Han Chen, but that fellow is super loyal to Han Chen, so he must have reported everything back to him right after leaving .

Su Mian doesn’t have anything to say; he doesn’t either .

He recalls everything that Xiao Zhuan reported back to him; her fear toward S; her understanding of S’s motive; hiding in a small storage room and smoking one cigarette after another while being afraid and upset……

Han Chen can only feel a cold and unsettling breeze circling in his chest .  He stands straight, reaches out his arms and pulls this stubborn yet fragile woman into his embrace forcefully .

Su Mian grabs onto his s.h.i.+rt near his chest lightly, feeling his aura and warmth quietly .

“Five years ago, I was 22 and lost you .  It was me, Han Chen, who was too stupid . I’m sorry . ”

He says these words in a deep and fierce voice .  Su Mian lifts her head right away and stares at him with her heart aching, “What are you saying?  How could you be blamed? I’ve never once blamed you . ”

The black jacket accents his face making it look even fairer white, cold, and handsome .  His neck is long and straight . He looks down and stares at her .

“I blame myself .  Han Chen at 27 years old now, will not lose you again,” he reaches out his hand and pinches her chin, “Don’t be afraid .  You have me . I will catch S, and I will make sure the seven-member organization will never exist again .  Nothing will separate us . Han Chen will guard you for the rest of his life . I promise you . ”

Su Mian wraps her arms around his neck tightly with her eyes becoming watery, “Han Chen……Han Chen……I’m sorry .  I’m sorry! I’m not afraid anymore! What am I afraid of?! I’m sorry!”

She doesn’t know why she’s apologizing, but she just wants to .  Han Chen lowers his head and kisses her, preventing her from speaking any more .

In this instance of time under the bright blue sky, the cold city seems as if it’s still and quiet .  Han Chen is hugging her like this in a corner of the city; just like every day before, and just like every year before .

_____

It’s still lunch break when the two of them return to the office, so it’s not time to work yet .  Xiao Zhuan is hiding in his small meeting room, Cold Face has his head down and fully immersed in reading some information, and Chatterbox is holding a file in his hand and is dozing off .  His head falls and hits the computer which wakes him up to continue reading the file again .

Han Chen and Su Mian return to their seats .  An employee from the administration department comes in, “Leader Han, your expedited mail . ”

Everybody turns to look including Su Mian .  It’s because Han Chen rarely receives any expedited mail packages other than work-related doc.u.ments .

Han Chen stares at the item in the administration worker’s hands .  It’s a rectangular paper box; quite big too . He takes the package and signs for it but notices that the field specifying the sender is blank .  The receiver’s information is handwritten; the writing is sloppy and croaked and feels a bit familiar . And it’s also sent from the same city .

He holds his gaze .

“Chatterbox, take pictures .  Cold Face, bring me a knife . ”

The moment these words come out, everybody stands up from their seats .  Su Mian walks over to his side . Her expression changes when she sees the handwritten words, “It’s A’s handwriting . ”

Due to the explosion incident, all items coming into the station must be scanned by security .  Therefore, it’s definitely not a bomb . Han Chen weighs it in his hands . It’s quite heavy . There’s a rustling noise, so it can’t be liquid .

He and Chatterbox put on masks and gloves while the others back away a little bit .  The knife cuts the box open slowly . Chatterbox uses a small metal rod and flips the flap open .

Everyone looks at what’s inside and is surprised .

There is no poison or harmful substance oozing out of it .  Instead, it is a box full of……

Xin Jia’s photos .

To be exact, they are not photos .  They are rectangular sealed plastic bags much like the ones you get from flu medicine, all stuffed inside; roughly over a hundred of them .  And on the outside of the bags, they have Xin Jia printed on them . On the photo, she’s wearing a long dress with her long hair resting on her shoulders .  She’s smiling lively . But because it’s the same photo printed on every one of them, there’s a sense of creepiness to it .

Su Mian frowns .  Although she doesn’t know why the seven-member organization is doing this, sending these bags with Xin Jia on it specifically to Han Chen makes her feel disgusted .  And Han Chen’s face turns gloomy and doesn’t say a word .

Chatterbox, who’s wearing gloves, picks up one of the plastic bags and shakes it against his ear, “There’s a tablet of some sort inside .  It does look like medicine . ”

“Send it to the lab immediately,” Han Chen says .

_____

The seven-member organization is finally taking action again, but their move is absolutely unpredictable .  What exactly are they trying to do?

The answer comes at night .

The answer comes at night .

The lab sends the report back: those are indeed medicine that contains a few common antidotes .  But as for what kind of poison it’s for and what kind of effects it has, they still need to do further testing .

It’s nighttime around 8 to 9 pm .  Zhou Xiao Zhuan, who’s been monitoring the internet, finds out the problem, “Something’s happening!  There are reports of ma.s.s poisoning in the Beicheng area of the North district . There are over fifty civilians sent to the hospital due to poisoning already .  The cause of poisoning is unknown!”

He turns the computer screen toward everybody .  Han Chen and the others stare at it .

“What is the meaning of this?” Chatterbox scolds, “Did they send us the antidotes first before poisoning others so that we could go help them?  Are they toying with us?”

Han Chen is standing with his back straight and his gaze turns cold as he remains silent .  And Su Mian turns to look at his side profile and also keeps quiet .

No .  They’re not toying with the Black s.h.i.+eld Team .  They’re not teasing them .

Poisoning tens of people isn’t something that the seven-member organization has interest in doing or thinks that it’s worth their time in doing .  As for sending the antidotes to Han Chen, it means that Han Chen would bring these antidotes with Xin Jia’s face printed on it to save the civilians .

This is……Could this be……

A memorial for Xin Jia!?

Only a psychopath would come up with this kind of memorial .

Therefore, their final plan has begun .

It begins with a memorial for the deceased .

Su Mian falls into a daze, but the words from Han Chen earlier today resonates in her mind: T’s punishments, in the beginning, was a setup to carry out even harsher punishments later .  The crimes from before and after must have a link between them .

Right now, we still don’t know what they are going to do next .  Will they create an even bigger explosion, poison more lives to threaten the police, or carry out a ma.s.sacre like back then?

But in the beginning, A, L, and R have done one thing the most, which is to create panic to the public .  Therefore, Su Mian can be certain that the next to come, regardless of method, they will create a ma.s.sive panic to the civilians, to the entire city, and to her .

Chapter 137: My Fear Su Mian is indeed a person who has never been afraid of anything . She’s not afraid of how ruthless her opponent is, and she’s not afraid of danger or getting hurt .  Even with A, L, and R being this cruel, it only further excites her stubbornness and pa.s.sion .  Being afraid of them? That’s impossible! But, when S’s profile appears in her heart, a certain feeling of familiarity as if it’s something that has been asleep inside her body for a long time, suddenly invades her heart . That feeling is fear . Her fear toward S . He’s like a bottomless pit .  Quiet, mysterious, powerful, and cold .  You cannot turn back . The moment you do, you’ll be trapped inside . “What I’m afraid of is S . ”  After finis.h.i.+ng saying these words, Su Mian digs her hand into her long hair in frustration .  She lowers her head and continues smoking . Xiao Zhuan’s jaw drops . He feels his head spin as he murmurs, “Therefore……you feel that their ultimate goal is you?” Su Mian keeps quiet for a moment before answering, “Mm .  Han Chen said that we need to find the link between those cases from before .  But what he didn’t mention was that there is already a link between them, which is me .  The invitation letter was sent to me; the rhymes needed me to solve them——because only I understand them; the dance was for me .  Do you remember that in L’s dance video, A and R were standing on the left, leaving a big s.p.a.ce on the right?  Whom was it reserved for? It was for me and S . ” Xiao Zhuan’s eyes widen and he’s speechless .  He then hears Su Mian continue fretfully, “In the end, the choice between you and Forensic Investigator Xu was also decided by me .  The unlocking of the pa.s.scode was my fourth finger of my right hand . What does this mean? And the person they were going to kill was Xu Si Bai, who has feelings for me, and not you . ” Xiao Zhuan says almost losing his voice, “I get it now!  So the three of them has done so much because they want you to be the lady of their camp?” Su Mian remains quiet for a second and then says, “You shut up!  Can you not be an idiot at times like this?! I feel that they’ve done all these not for the sake of committing crimes, but rather is to transmit a message . ” Xiao Zhuan asks curiously, “What kind of message?” Su Mian watches the smoke rise between her fingers .  She strokes her head and looks outside of the window, “To have me and everybody know the existence of the seven-member organization and their spirit .  To let people feel fright while showing kindness and power to me, torturing my will and destroying my spirit . ” She pauses and then says, “Perhaps my undercover life in the past makes them feel that I will return to their center in the end and become S’s woman .  All of this could be understood as calling out to me .  Their way of calling . ” She says these words calmly while Xiao Zhuan feels cold sweat down his spine as he listens .  But Su Mian’s explanation makes sense! “No!  They are absolutely crazy!  They’re dreaming! You are a member of the Black s.h.i.+eld Team, and you won’t separate from Han Chen!  What does this have to do with them!” he shouts . Su Mian looks out of the window, inhales from the cigarette and doesn’t say a word . Xiao Zhuan thinks for a second and asks, “So……that S guy, what role does he play in all of this?  Is he the planner?” “Probably,” Su Mian answers lightly, “Even in the case from five years ago, he never showed himself and never committed the crimes directly .  He only stood behind them “But it’s been so many years that they haven’t appeared and he hasn’t done anything to you .  Why now?… ” Xiao Zhuan says full of doubt . Su Mian doesn’t have an answer to this question either .  She remains quiet for a good while before responding, “I don’t know .  I don’t really know what happened back then either . But now that they’ve decided to take action again……maybe it’s because I’m not living the life that they first arranged for me; or maybe because another three of them died because of me; or maybe because Han Chen and I are together again and the Black s.h.i.+eld Team insists on finding the truth about what happened back then . ”  She lifts her eyes to look at Xiao Zhuan, “Therefore, this battle is finally here . ” Xiao Zhuan doesn’t know what to say . Su Mian tosses the cigarette b.u.t.t away .  She wraps her arms around her legs and avoids looking at him, “Xiao Zhuan, can you leave first .  I want to be by myself for a while . Please don’t tell Han Chen the things that I’ve said to you just now .  I don’t want him to worry . ” “……Oh, okay,” Xiao Zhuan nods and leaves . _____ After Xiao Zhuan leaves, Su Mian falls into a daze for a while before hopping off of the pile of boxes .  She opens the window to vent the smell away . After making sure there is no obvious smell of cigarettes on her body, she then walks toward the exit . She opens the door .  Outside is an empty hallway .  It’s already 1 in the afternoon, so there are not a lot of people outside .  She takes half a step outside and freezes . Someone is standing at the side of the wall just outside of the door . Han Chen stuffs both hands into his pockets and turns his head to look at her .  His pitch-black pupils are like two bottomless pits . She doesn’t know how long he has been standing there . Su Mian immediately understands .  She told Xiao Zhuan not to tell Han Chen, but that fellow is super loyal to Han Chen, so he must have reported everything back to him right after leaving . Su Mian doesn’t have anything to say; he doesn’t either . He recalls everything that Xiao Zhuan reported back to him; her fear toward S; her understanding of S’s motive; hiding in a small storage room and smoking one cigarette after another while being afraid and upset…… Han Chen can only feel a cold and unsettling breeze circling in his chest .  He stands straight, reaches out his arms and pulls this stubborn yet fragile woman into his embrace forcefully . Su Mian grabs onto his s.h.i.+rt near his chest lightly, feeling his aura and warmth quietly . “Five years ago, I was 22 and lost you .  It was me, Han Chen, who was too stupid . I’m sorry . ” He says these words in a deep and fierce voice .  Su Mian lifts her head right away and stares at him with her heart aching, “What are you saying?  How could you be blamed? I’ve never once blamed you . ” The black jacket accents his face making it look even fairer white, cold, and handsome .  His neck is long and straight . He looks down and stares at her . “I blame myself .  Han Chen at 27 years old now, will not lose you again,” he reaches out his hand and pinches her chin, “Don’t be afraid .  You have me . I will catch S, and I will make sure the seven-member organization will never exist again .  Nothing will separate us . Han Chen will guard you for the rest of his life . I promise you . ” Su Mian wraps her arms around his neck tightly with her eyes becoming watery, “Han Chen……Han Chen……I’m sorry .  I’m sorry! I’m not afraid anymore! What am I afraid of?! I’m sorry!” She doesn’t know why she’s apologizing, but she just wants to .  Han Chen lowers his head and kisses her, preventing her from speaking any more . In this instance of time under the bright blue sky, the cold city seems as if it’s still and quiet .  Han Chen is hugging her like this in a corner of the city; just like every day before, and just like every year before . _____ It’s still lunch break when the two of them return to the office, so it’s not time to work yet .  Xiao Zhuan is hiding in his small meeting room, Cold Face has his head down and fully immersed in reading some information, and Chatterbox is holding a file in his hand and is dozing off .  His head falls and hits the computer which wakes him up to continue reading the file again . Han Chen and Su Mian return to their seats .  An employee from the administration department comes in, “Leader Han, your expedited mail . ” Everybody turns to look including Su Mian .  It’s because Han Chen rarely receives any expedited mail packages other than work-related doc.u.ments . Han Chen stares at the item in the administration worker’s hands .  It’s a rectangular paper box; quite big too . He takes the package and signs for it but notices that the field specifying the sender is blank .  The receiver’s information is handwritten; the writing is sloppy and croaked and feels a bit familiar . And it’s also sent from the same city . He holds his gaze . “Chatterbox, take pictures .  Cold Face, bring me a knife . ” The moment these words come out, everybody stands up from their seats .  Su Mian walks over to his side . Her expression changes when she sees the handwritten words, “It’s A’s handwriting . ” Due to the explosion incident, all items coming into the station must be scanned by security .  Therefore, it’s definitely not a bomb . Han Chen weighs it in his hands . It’s quite heavy . There’s a rustling noise, so it can’t be liquid . He and Chatterbox put on masks and gloves while the others back away a little bit .  The knife cuts the box open slowly . Chatterbox uses a small metal rod and flips the flap open . Everyone looks at what’s inside and is surprised . There is no poison or harmful substance oozing out of it .  Instead, it is a box full of…… Xin Jia’s photos . To be exact, they are not photos .  They are rectangular sealed plastic bags much like the ones you get from flu medicine, all stuffed inside; roughly over a hundred of them .  And on the outside of the bags, they have Xin Jia printed on them . On the photo, she’s wearing a long dress with her long hair resting on her shoulders .  She’s smiling lively . But because it’s the same photo printed on every one of them, there’s a sense of creepiness to it . Su Mian frowns .  Although she doesn’t know why the seven-member organization is doing this, sending these bags with Xin Jia on it specifically to Han Chen makes her feel disgusted .  And Han Chen’s face turns gloomy and doesn’t say a word . Chatterbox, who’s wearing gloves, picks up one of the plastic bags and shakes it against his ear, “There’s a tablet of some sort inside .  It does look like medicine . ” “Send it to the lab immediately,” Han Chen says . _____ The seven-member organization is finally taking action again, but their move is absolutely unpredictable .  What exactly are they trying to do? The answer comes at night . The lab sends the report back: those are indeed medicine that contains a few common antidotes .  But as for what kind of poison it’s for and what kind of effects it has, they still need to do further testing . It’s nighttime around 8 to 9 pm .  Zhou Xiao Zhuan, who’s been monitoring the internet, finds out the problem, “Something’s happening!  There are reports of ma.s.s poisoning in the Beicheng area of the North district . There are over fifty civilians sent to the hospital due to poisoning already .  The cause of poisoning is unknown!” He turns the computer screen toward everybody .  Han Chen and the others stare at it . “What is the meaning of this?” Chatterbox scolds, “Did they send us the antidotes first before poisoning others so that we could go help them?  Are they toying with us?” Han Chen is standing with his back straight and his gaze turns cold as he remains silent .  And Su Mian turns to look at his side profile and also keeps quiet . No .  They’re not toying with the Black s.h.i.+eld Team .  They’re not teasing them . Poisoning tens of people isn’t something that the seven-member organization has interest in doing or thinks that it’s worth their time in doing .  As for sending the antidotes to Han Chen, it means that Han Chen would bring these antidotes with Xin Jia’s face printed on it to save the civilians . This is……Could this be…… A memorial for Xin Jia!? Only a psychopath would come up with this kind of memorial . Therefore, their final plan has begun . It begins with a memorial for the deceased . Su Mian falls into a daze, but the words from Han Chen earlier today resonates in her mind: T’s punishments, in the beginning, was a setup to carry out even harsher punishments later .  The crimes from before and after must have a link between them . Right now, we still don’t know what they are going to do next .  Will they create an even bigger explosion, poison more lives to threaten the police, or carry out a ma.s.sacre like back then? But in the beginning, A, L, and R have done one thing the most, which is to create panic to the public .  Therefore, Su Mian can be certain that the next to come, regardless of method, they will create a ma.s.sive panic to the civilians, to the entire city, and to her