The Absentee Part 2

'The devil!' said Mordicai.

'G.o.d bless every bone in his body, then! he's an Irishman,' cried Paddy; 'and there was the RASON my heart warmed to him from the first minute he come into the yard, though I did not know it till now.'

'What, sir! are you my Lord Colambre?' said Mr. Mordicai, recovering, but not clearly recovering, his intellects. 'I beg pardon, but I did not know you WAS Lord Colambre. I thought you told me you was the friend of Mr. Berryl.'

'I do not see the incompatibility of the a.s.sertion, sir,' replied Lord Colambre, taking from the bewildered foreman's unresisting hand the account, which he had been so long FURNIs.h.i.+NG.

'Give me leave, my lord,' said Mordicai. 'I beg your pardon, my lord, perhaps we can compromise that business for your friend Mr. Berryl; since he is your lords.h.i.+p's friend, perhaps we can contrive to COMPROMISE and SPLIT THE DIFFERENCE.'

TO COMPROMISE and SPLIT THE DIFFERENCE, Mordicai thought were favourite phrases, and approved Hibernian modes of doing business, which would conciliate this young Irish n.o.bleman, and dissipate the proud tempest which had gathered and now swelled in his breast.

'No, sir, no!' cried Lord Colambre, holding firm the paper. 'I want no favour from you. I will accept of none for my friend or for myself.'

'Favour! No, my lord, I should not presume to offer--But I should wish, if you'll allow me, to do your friend justice.'

Lord Colambre recollecting that he had no right, in his pride, to ding away his friend's money, let Mr. Mordicai look at the account; and, his impetuous temper in a few moments recovered by good sense, he considered that, as his person was utterly unknown to Mr. Mordicai, no offence could have been intended to him, and that, perhaps, in what had been said of his father's debts and distress, there might be more truth than he was aware of. Prudently, therefore, controlling his feelings, and commanding himself, he suffered Mr. Mordicai to show him into a parlour, to SETTLE his friend's business. In a few minutes the account was reduced to a reasonable form, and, in consideration of the partner's having made the bargain, by which Mr. Mordicai felt himself influenced in honour, though not bound in law, he undertook to have the curricle made better than new again, for Mr. Berryl, for twenty guineas. Then came awkward apologies to Lord Colambre, which he ill endured. 'Between ourselves, my lord,' continued Mordicai--

But the familiarity of the phrase, 'Between ourselves'--this implication of equality--Lord Colambre could not admit; he moved hastily towards the door and departed.

CHAPTER II

Full of what he had heard, and impatient to obtain further information respecting the state of his father's affairs, Lord Colambre hastened home; but his father was out, and his mother was engaged with Mr. Soho, directing, or rather being directed, how her apartments should be fitted up for her gala. As Lord Colambre entered the room, he saw his mother, Miss Nugent, and Mr. Soho, standing at a large table, which was covered with rolls of paper, patterns, and drawings of furniture: Mr. Soho was speaking in a conceited dictatorial tone, a.s.serting that there was no 'colour in nature for that room equal to THE BELLY-O'-THE FAWN;' which BELLY-O'-THE FAWN he so p.r.o.nounced that Lady Clonbrony understood it to be LA BELLE UNIFORME, and, under this mistake, repeated and a.s.sented to the a.s.sertion till it was set to rights, with condescending superiority, by the upholsterer. This first architectural upholsterer of the age, as he styled himself, and was universally admitted to be by all the world of fas.h.i.+on, then, with full powers given to him, spoke EN MAITRE. The whole face of things must be changed--there must be new hangings, new draperies, new cornices, new candelabras, new everything!

The upholsterer's eye, in a fine frenzy rolling, Glances from ceiling to floor, from floor to ceiling; And, as imagination bodies forth The form of things unknown, th' upholsterer's pencil Turns to shape and gives to airy nothing A local habitation and a NAME.

Of the value of a NAME no one could be more sensible than Mr. Soho.

'Your la's.h.i.+p sees--this is merely a scratch of my pencil--your la's.h.i.+p's sensible--just to give you an idea of the shape, the form of the thing. You fill up your angles here with ECOINIERES--round your walls with the TURKISH TENT DRAPERY--a fancy of my own--in apricot cloth, or crimson velvet, suppose, or EN FLUTE, in crimson satin draperies, fanned and riched with gold fringes, EN SUITE--intermediate s.p.a.ces, Apollo's heads with gold rays--and here, ma'am, you place four CHANCELIERES, with chimeras at the corners, covered with blue silk and silver fringe, elegantly fanciful--with my STATIRA CANOPY here--light blue silk draperies--aerial tint, with silver b.a.l.l.s--and for seats here, the SERAGLIO OTTOMANS, superfine scarlet--your paws--griffin--golden--and golden tripods, here, with antique cranes--and oriental alabaster tables here and there--quite appropriate, your la's.h.i.+p feels.

'And--let me reflect. For the next apartment, it strikes me--as your la's.h.i.+p don't value expense--THE ALHAMBRA HANGINGS--my own thought entirely. Now, before I unroll them, Lady Clonbrony, I must beg you'll not mention I've shown them. I give you my sacred honour, not a soul has set eye upon the Alhambra hangings, except Mrs. Dareville, who stole a peep; I refused, absolutely refused, the d.u.c.h.ess of Torcaster--but I can't refuse your la's.h.i.+p. So see, ma'am--(unrolling them)--scagliola porphyry columns supporting the grand dome--entablature, silvered and decorated with imitative bronze ornaments; under the entablature, A VALANCE IN PELMETS, of puffed scarlet silk, would have an unparalleled grand effect, seen through the arches--with the TREBISOND TRELLICE PAPER, would make a TOUT ENSEMBLE, novel beyond example. On that Trebisond trellice paper, I confess, ladies, I do pique myself.

'Then, for the little room, I recommend turning it temporarily into a Chinese paG.o.da, with this CHINESE PAG.o.dA PAPER, with the PORCELAIN border, and josses, and jars, and beakers to match; and I can venture to promise one vase of pre-eminent size and beauty. Oh, indubitably! if your la's.h.i.+p prefers it, you can have the EGYPTIAN HIEROGLYPHIC PAPER, with the IBIS BORDER to match! The only objection is, one sees it everywhere--quite antediluvian--gone to the hotels even; but, to be sure, if your la's.h.i.+p has a fancy--At all events, I humbly recommend, what her Grace of Torcaster longs to patronise, my MOON CURTAINS, with candlelight draperies. A demisaison elegance this--I hit off yesterday--and--true, your la's.h.i.+p's quite correct--out of the common, completely. And, of course, you'd have the SPHYNX CANDELABRAS, and the Phoenix argands. Oh! nothing else lights now, ma'am! Expense! Expense of the whole! Impossible to calculate here on the spot!--but nothing at all worth your ladys.h.i.+p's consideration!'

At another moment, Lord Colambre might have been amused with all this rhodomontade, and with the airs and voluble conceit of the orator; but, after what he had heard at Mr. Mordicai's, this whole scene struck him more with melancholy than with mirth. He was alarmed by the prospect of new and unbounded expense; provoked, almost past enduring, by the jargon and impertinence of this upholsterer; mortified and vexed to the heart to see his mother the dupe, the sport of such a c.o.xcomb.

'Prince of puppies!--insufferable!--My own mother!' Lord Colambre repeated to himself, as he walked hastily up and down the room.

'Colambre, won't you let us have your judgment--your TEESTE' said his mother.

'Excuse me, ma'am. I have no taste, no judgment, in these things.'

He sometimes paused, and looked at Mr. Soho with a strong inclination to--But knowing that he should say too much, if he said anything, he was silent never dared to approach the council table--but continued walking up and down the room, till he heard a voice, which at once arrested his attention, and soothed his ire. He approached the table instantly, and listened, whilst Grace Nugent said everything he wished to have said, and with all the propriety and delicacy with which he thought he could not have spoken. He leaned on the table, and fixed his eyes upon her--years ago, he had seen his cousin--last night, he had thought her handsome, pleasing, graceful--but now, he saw a new person, or he saw her in a new light. He marked the superior intelligence, the animation, the eloquence of her countenance, its variety, whilst alternately, with arch raillery or grave humour, she played off Mr.

Soho, and made him magnify the ridicule, till it was apparent even to Lady Clonbrony. He observed the anxiety, lest his mother should expose her own foibles--he was touched by the respectful, earnest kindness--the soft tones of persuasion, with which she addressed his mother--the care not to presume upon her own influence--the good sense, the taste she showed, yet not displaying her superiority--the address, temper, and patience, with which she at last accomplished her purpose, and prevented Lady Clonbrony from doing anything preposterously absurd, or exorbitantly extravagant.

Lord Colambre was actually sorry when the business was ended--when Mr.

Soho departed--for Grace Nugent was then silent; and it was necessary to remove his eyes from that countenance, on which he had gazed un.o.bserved.

Beautiful and graceful, yet so unconscious was she of her charms, that the eye of admiration could rest upon her without her perceiving it--she seemed so intent upon others as totally to forget herself The whole train of Lord Colambre's thoughts was so completely deranged that, although he was sensible there was something of importance he had to say to his mother, yet, when Mr. Soho's departure left him opportunity to speak, he stood silent, unable to recollect anything but--Grace Nugent.

When Grace Nugent left the room, after some minutes' silence, and some effort, Lord Colambre said to his mother, 'Pray, madam, do you know anything of Sir Terence O'Fay?'

'I!' Said Lady Clonbrony, drawing up her head proudly; 'I know he is a person I cannot endure. He is no friend of mine, I can a.s.sure you--nor any such sort of person.'

'I thought it was impossible!' cried Colambre, with exultation.

'I only wish your father, Colambre, could say as much,' added Lady Clonbrony.

Lord Colambre's countenance fell again; and again he was silent for some time.

'Does my father dine at home, ma'am?'

'I suppose not; he seldom dines at home.'

'Perhaps, ma'am, my father may have some cause to be uneasy about--'

'About?' said Lady Clonbrony, in a tone, and with a look of curiosity which convinced her son that she knew nothing of his debts or distresses, if he had any. 'About what?' repeated her ladys.h.i.+p.

Here was no receding, and Lord Colambre never had recourse to artifice.

'About his affairs, I was going to say, madam. But, since you know nothing of any difficulties or embarra.s.sments, I am persuaded that none exist.'

Nay, I CAWNT tell you that, Colambre. There are difficulties for ready money, I confess, when I ask for it, which surprise me often. I know nothing of affairs--ladies of a certain rank seldom do, you know. But, considering your father's estate, and the fortune I brought him,'

added her ladys.h.i.+p, proudly, 'I CAWNT conceive it at all. Grace Nugent, indeed, often talks to me of embarra.s.sments and economy; but that, poor thing, is very natural for her, because her fortune is not particularly large, and she has left it all, or almost all, in her uncle and guardian's hands. I know she's often distressed for odd money to lend me, and that makes her anxious.'

'Is not Miss Nugent very much admired, ma'am, in London?'

'Of course--in the company she is in, you know, she has every advantage.

And she has a natural family air of fas.h.i.+on--not but what she would have got on much better, if, when she first appeared in Lon'on, she had taken my advice, and wrote herself on her cards Miss de Nogent, which would have taken off the prejudice against the IRICISM of Nugent, you know; and there is a Count de Nogent.'

'I did not know there was any such prejudice, ma'am. There may be among a certain set; but, I should think, not among well-informed, well-bred people.'

'I BIG your PAWDON, Colambre; surely I, that was born in England, an Henglish-woman BAWN! must be well INFAWMED on this PINT, anyway.'

Lord Colambre was respectfully silent.

'Mother,' resumed he, 'I wonder that Miss Nugent is not married!'

'That is her own fau't, entirely; she has refused very good offers--establishments that, I own, I think, as Lady Langdale says, I was to blame to allow her to let pa.s.s; but young LEDIES till they are twenty, always think they can do better. Mr. Martingale, of Martingale, proposed for her, but she objected to him on account of he's being on the turf; and Mr. St. Albans' L7000 a year--because--I REELLY forget what--I believe only because she did not like him--and something about principles. Now there is Colonel Heathc.o.c.k, one of the most fas.h.i.+onable young men you see, always with the d.u.c.h.ess of Torcaster and that set--Heathc.o.c.k takes a vast deal of notice of her, for him; and yet, I'm persuaded, she would not have him to-morrow, if he came to the PINT, and for no reason, REELLY now, that she can give me, but because she says he's a c.o.xcomb. Grace has a tincture of Irish pride. But, for my part, I rejoice that she is so difficult, for I don't know what I should do without her.'

'Miss Nugent is indeed--very much attached to you, mother, I am convinced,' said Lord Colambre, beginning his sentence with great enthusiasm, and ending it with great sobriety.

'Indeed then, she's a sweet girl, and I am very partial to her, there's the truth,' cried Lady Clonbrony, in an undisguised Irish accent, and with her natural warm manner. But a moment afterwards her features and whole form resumed their constrained stillness and stiffness, and, in her English accent, she continued--

'Before you put my IDEES out of my head, Colambre, I had something to say to you--Oh! I know what it was--we were talking of embarra.s.sments--and I wished to do your father the justice to mention to you that he has been UNCOMMON LIBERAL to me about this gala, and has REELLY given me carte-blanche; and I've a notion--indeed I know--that it is you, Colambre, I am to thank for this.'

'Me!--ma'am!'