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"All of a sudden," she murmured, "I looked back and I saw the way I have lived and the way I am living and the life that spreads itself out before me. I saw myself a peeress, I saw myself receiving my husband's guests, I saw the gratification of all those ambitions which have seemed to me so wonderful. And I locked the door and I shrieked and it seemed to me that there was a new thing and a new thought in my life. I have done you a hideous wrong, Julien. There is only one way I can set it right. There is only one moment in which it can be done, and that moment is now. Tomorrow I shall be back again. For this one hour I see the truth. I am a very rich woman, Julien. My husband's future, indeed, is largely bound up with my wealth. Remember that in all I have done I have been his agent. He hates you, has hated you from the first because you were a gentleman and he never was. This is my one moment of madness in a perfectly well-ordered life."
One of her hands stole from her m.u.f.f, stole out half-hesitatingly towards him. Julien took it in his and raised it to his lips. Then he looked her in the eyes.
"Dear Mabel," he said, "you are forgiven. I understand perfectly the reasons for your coming. Go back to your husband, wear your coronet and receive his guests with a free conscience. I forgive you."
Her hand slipped back into her m.u.f.f. She began to tremble a little.
"As for me," he went on, "I played the fool and I pay willingly. I was engaged to marry a very charming girl who believed in me and whom I cared for as much as it was possible for me to care for anything outside my career. I flirted with you because it was a piquant thing to do. You were a woman whom other men found difficult, you were the wife of a man whom I despised and who was trying all the time to undermine my position. I sacrificed my self-respect every time I crossed your threshold. To-day I pay. I am willing. As for you, Mabel, your visit here shall square things between us. I wish you the best of luck. You must let me ring for my servant. He will find you a taxicab."
He moved toward the bell. Mrs. Carraby, with her hands inside her m.u.f.f, stood exactly as though she were part of the furniture of the room.
With his finger upon the ivory disc, he hesitated. She was not looking towards him and her eyes were half closed.
"Perhaps," he suggested, "you would rather find your way out alone? I will not offer my escort, for obvious reasons."
She turned slowly round.
"Do not ring," she ordered sharply. "Come here."
He came at once towards her. She took both his hands in hers, she leaned towards him. She was a tall woman and they were very nearly the same height.
"Julien," she whispered, "is this all that you have to say to me?"
"It is more," Julien replied frankly, "than I expected ever to have to say to you again in this world. What do you expect? You don't think that I am the kind of man to--but that is absurd! Come. We'll part friends, if you like. Here's my hand."
"We must part, then?" she said.
He shrugged his shoulders.
"Unless a walking tour in Normandy for a month appeals to you. You see, I am going to take a holiday, and I have a fancy that our ideas on the subject of holidays might not exactly agree."
"A holiday," she repeated. "I am not sure--do you know, Julien, I sometimes believe that I have never had a holiday in my life?"
He looked at her doubtingly.
"After all," she continued, "can't you see that I have come here to ask you one question? You are different from the people I have known intimately and the people with whom I have been brought up, different from my husband. You know what my life has been. I have told you just now that the great doubt has come to me within the last few days. Won't you tell me what I want to know? Is there anything better, anything greater, anything more wonderful in life than these things which I have known, these ambitions, this social struggle? Tell me, Julien, is there anything else? Can you tell me how and where to find it?"
Once more her fingers had crept out of her m.u.f.f.
Her hands were upon his shoulders, she seemed to be drawing him to her. Julien kissed her lightly on the forehead.
"For you, my dear Mabel," he decided, "I should say that there was nothing better. A leopard cannot change its spots. The life into which you have been brought and for which you have qualified so admirably, is the only life which would suit you. If you fancy sometimes in your dreams, or in your waking hours, that you hear cries and calls from another country, don't listen to them. You would never be happy outside the world you know of. You see, one who has made such a failure of life himself is yet well able to advise. Forgive me."
The telephone on his writing table was ringing. He turned aside to answer it. It was a question regarding the whereabouts of some papers at the office and it took him a few minutes to explain. When he set the receiver back and turned around, he was alone. There was nothing to remind him of her visit but a bunch of violets which seemed to have fallen from her m.u.f.f, and the faint perfume from them. He took them up, smelt them for a moment, and flung them lightly into the hearth. Then he touched his bell.
"My hat, stick and gloves, Richards," he ordered. "Bring my things to Charing-Cross at half-past eight. Have them registered only to Boulogne. You understand?"
"Perfectly, sir," the man replied.
Julien glanced once more around his sitting-room. The little bunch of violets was smouldering upon the hearth. In a sense they seemed to him symbolical.
"Kendricks is right," he muttered. "It is the women who play the devil with our lives!"
CHAPTER V
A SENTIMENTAL EPISODE
Kendricks was waiting below in the taxicab, leaning back in the corner with his feet upon the opposite seat, and smoking his very disreputable pipe with an air of serene content.
"Sorry to have turned you out into the street like this," Julien remarked.
"Thank you," Kendricks replied, "under the circ.u.mstances I preferred the street."
Julien hesitated for a moment and glanced at his watch.
"There is one more call that I must pay, David," he said. "You won't mind, will you? We've plenty of time."
"Mind? Of course not," Kendricks answered, stretching himself out in the cab. "Do what you please with me, only leave an hour or an hour and a half for dinner. I am the best-tempered person in the world so long as no one interferes with my regular meal hours."
"It's just a little farewell call," Julien explained, "that I want to pay. I've told the man where to go."
Kendricks nodded silently. He knew all about that little call, but if he felt any sympathy he was careful not to show it. They drew up in a few minutes before a large and solemn-looking house at the corner of Hamilton Place.
"Don't hurry," Kendricks advised, stretching himself out once more in the cab. "I'll smoke another pipe and thank heaven we are not in New York! You wait an hour there and take your choice of paying the fare or buying the taxicab!"
Julien ascended the steps and rang the bell at the door of the house.
It was immediately opened by a manservant, who recognized him with a bow and a smile, for which, somehow or other, he felt thankful.
"Is Lady Anne in, Robert?" he inquired.
The man stood on one side.
"Please to walk in, Sir Julien," he invited. "Lady Anne is with some young people in the drawing-room. Will you go in there to them, or would you prefer that I announce you?"
"Is there any one in the waiting-room?" Julien asked.
"No one at present, sir."
"Let me go in there, then. I want to speak to Lady Anne alone for a moment. You might let her know that I am here."
"Certainly, sir."
Julien walked restlessly up and down the small, uncomfortable apartment, the room which he had always hated. There were ill.u.s.trated papers arranged in a row upon a leather-topped table, two stiff horsehair easychairs, and various views of Clonarty, the country seat of the Duke of Clonarty, around the walls. Presently he heard the laughter in the drawing-room cease. There was a short silence, then the sound of footsteps across the hall and the abrupt opening of the door of the room in which he was waiting. Julien looked up quickly. It was, after all, what he had expected! A somewhat vivacious-looking little lady in a muslin gown and elaborate hat held out both her hands to him.