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I had the pleasure to perceive that Cecilia Delamere did not find me a fool. I never, even in the presence of Lady Geraldine, exerted myself so much to avoid this disgrace.
After all the company, except Mrs. and Miss Delamere, were gone, Lord Y---- called me aside.
"Will you pardon," said he, "the means I have taken to convince you how much superior you are to the opinion that has been commonly formed of Lord Glenthorn? Will you forgive me for convincing you that when a man has sufficient strength of mind to rely upon himself, and sufficient energy to exert his abilities, he becomes independent of common report and vulgar opinion? He secures the suffrages of the best judges; and they, in time, lead all the rest of the world. Will you permit me now to introduce you to your prudent friend and your fair enemy? Mrs.
Delamere--Miss Delamere--give me leave to introduce to you the late Earl of Glenthorn."
Of the astonishment in the opening eyes of Mrs. Delamere I have some faint recollection. I can never forget the crimson blush that instantaneously spread over the celestial countenance of Cecilia. She was perfectly silent; but her mother went on talking with increased rapidity.
"Good Heavens! the late Lord Glenthorn! Why, I was talking--but he was not in the room." The ladies exchanged looks, which seemed to say, "I hope he did not hear all we said of him."
"My dear Lord Y----, why did not you tell us this before? Suppose we had spoken of his lords.h.i.+p, you would have been answerable for all the consequences."
"Certainly," said Lord Y----.
"But, seriously," said the old lady, "have I the pleasure to speak to Lord Glenthorn, or have I not? I believe I began, unluckily, to talk of a strange story I had heard; but perhaps all this is a mistake, and my country correspondent may have been amusing herself at the expense of my credulity. I a.s.sure you I was not imposed upon; I never believed half the story."
"You may believe the whole of it, madam," said I; "the story is perfectly true."
"Oh! my good sir, how sorry I am to hear you say it is all true! And the blacksmith is really Earl of Glenthorn, and has taken possession of the castle, and is married, and has a son! Lord bless me, how unfortunate!
Well, I can only say, sir, I wish, with all my heart, you were Earl of Glenthorn still."
After hearing from Lord Y---- the circ.u.mstances of what he was pleased to call my generous conduct, Mrs. Delamere observed, that I had acted very generously, to be sure, but that few in my place would have thought themselves bound to give up possession of an estate, which I had so long been taught to believe was my own. To have and to hold, she observed, always went together in law; and she could not help thinking I had done very injudiciously and imprudently not to let the law decide for me.
I was consoled for Mrs. Delamere's reprehensions by her daughter's approving countenance. After this visit, Lord Y---- gave me a general invitation to his house, where I frequently saw Miss Delamere, and frequently compared her with my recollection of Lady Geraldine ------.
Cecilia Delamere was not so entertaining, but she was more interesting than Lady Geraldine: the flashes of her ladys.h.i.+p's wit, though always striking, were sometimes dangerous; Cecilia's wit, though equally brilliant, shone with a more pleasing and inoffensive light. With as much generosity as Lady Geraldine could show in great affairs, she had more forbearance and delicacy of attention on every-day occasions. Lady Geraldine had much pride, and it often gave offence; Cecilia, perhaps, had more pride, but it never appeared, except upon the defensive: without having less candour, she had less occasion for it than Lady Geraldine seemed to have; and Cecilia's temper had more softness and equability. Perhaps Cecilia was not so fascinating, but she was more attractive. One had the envied art of appearing to advantage in public--the other, the more desirable power of being happy in private.
I admired Lady Geraldine long before I loved her; I loved Cecilia long before I admired her.
Whilst I possibly could, I called what I felt for Miss Delamere only esteem; but when I found it impossible to conceal from myself that I loved, I resolved to avoid this charming woman. How happy, thought I, would the fortune I once possessed now make me! but in my present circ.u.mstances what have I to hope? Surely my friend Lord Y---- has not shown his usual prudence in exposing me to such a temptation; but it is to be supposed, he thinks that the impossibility of my obtaining Miss Delamere will prevent my thinking of her, or perhaps he depends on the inertness and apathy of my temper. Unfortunately for me, my sensibility has increased since I have become poor; for many years, when I was rich, and could have married easily, I never wished to marry, and now that I have not enough to support a wife, I immediately fall desperately in love.
Again and again I pondered upon my circ.u.mstances: three hundred a-year was the amount of all my worldly possessions; and Miss Delamere was not rich, and she had been bred expensively; for it had never been absent from her mother's mind, that Cecilia would be heiress to the immense Glenthorn estate. The present possessor was, however, an excellent life, and he had a son stout and healthy, so all these hopes of Mrs.
Delamere's were at an end; and as there was little chance, as she said (laughing), of persuading her daughter to marry Johnny, the young lord and heir apparent, it was now necessary to turn her views elsewhere, and to form for Cecilia some suitable alliance. Rank and large fortune were, in Mrs. Delamere's opinion, indispensable to happiness. Cecilia's ideas were far more moderate; but, though perfectly disinterested and generous, she was not so romantic, or so silly, as to think of marrying any man without the probability of his being able to support her in the society of her equals: nor, even if I could have thought it possible to prevail upon Miss Delamere to make an unbecoming and imprudent choice, would I have taken advantage of the confidence reposed in me by Lord Y----, to destroy the happiness of a young friend, for whom he evidently had a great regard. I resolved to see her no more--and for some weeks I kept my resolution; I refrained from going to Y---- house. I deem this the most virtuous action of my life; it certainly was the most painful sacrifice I ever made to a sense of duty. At last, Lord Y---- came to me one morning, and after reproaching me, in a friendly manner, for having so long absented myself from his house, declared that he would not be satisfied with any of those common excuses, which might content a mere acquaintance; that his sincere anxiety for my welfare gave him a right to expect from me the frankness of a friend. It was a relief to my mind to be encouraged in this manner. I confessed with entire openness my real motive: Lord Y---- heard me without surprise.
"It is gratifying to me," said his lords.h.i.+p, "to be convinced that I was not mistaken in my judgment, either of your taste, or your integrity; permit me to a.s.sure you, that I foresaw exactly how you would feel, and precisely how you would act. There are certain moral omens, which old experience never fails to interpret rightly, and from which unerring predictions of the future conduct, and consequently of the future fate of individuals, may be formed. I hold that we are the artificers of our own fortune. If there be any whom the G.o.ds wish to destroy, these are first deprived of understanding; whom the G.o.ds wish to favour, they first endow with integrity, inspire with understanding, and animate with activity. Have I not seen integrity in you, and shall I not see activity? Yes; that supineness of temper or habit with which you reproach yourself has arisen, believe me, only from want of motive; but you have now the most powerful of motives, and in proportion to your exertions will be your success. In our country, you know, the highest offices of the state are open to talents and perseverance; a man of abilities and application cannot fail to secure independence, and obtain distinction. Time and industry are necessary to prepare you for the profession, to which you will hereafter be an honour, and you will courageously submit.
--'Time and industry, the mighty two, Which bring our wishes nearer to our view.'
As to the probability that your present wishes may be crowned with success, I can judge only from my general knowledge of the views and disposition of the lady whom you admire. I know that her views with respect to fortune are moderate; and that her disposition and excellent understanding will, in the choice of a husband, direct her preference to the essential good qualities, and not to the accidental advantages, of the candidates for her favour. As to the mother's influence, that will necessarily yield to the daughter's superior judgment. Cecilia possesses over her mother that witchcraft of gentle manners, which in the female s.e.x is always irresistible, even over violent tempers. Prudential considerations have a just, though not exclusive, claim to Miss Delamere's attention. But her relations, I fancy, could find means of providing against any pecuniary embarra.s.sments, if she should think proper to unite herself to a man who can be content, as she would be, with a competence, and who should _have proved himself able, by his own exertions, to maintain his wife in independence_. On this last condition I must dwell with emphasis, because it is indispensable; and I am convinced that without it Miss Delamere's consent, even after she is of age, and at liberty to judge for herself, could never be obtained. You perceive, then, how much depends upon your own exertions; and this is the best hope, and the best motive, that I can give to a strong and generous mind. Farewell--Persevere and prosper."
Such was the general purport of what Lord Y---- said to me; indeed, I believe that I have repeated his very words, for they made a great and ineffaceable impression upon my mind. From this day I date the commencement of a new existence. Fired with ambition,--I hope generous ambition,--to distinguish myself among men, and to win the favour of the most amiable and the most lovely of women, all the faculties of my soul were awakened: I became active, permanently active. The enchantment of indolence was dissolved, and the demon of ennui was cast out for ever.
CHAPTER XXI.
If, among those who maybe tempted to peruse my history, there should be any mere novel readers, let me advise them to throw the book aside at the commencement of this chapter; for I have no more wonderful incidents to relate, no more changes at nurse, no more sudden turns of fortune.
I am now become a plodding man of business, poring over law-books from morning till night, and leading a most monotonous life: yet occupation, and hope, and the constant sense of approaching nearer to my object, rendered this mode of existence, dull as it may seem, infinitely more agreeable than many of my apparently prosperous days, when I had more money, and more time, than I knew how to enjoy. I resolutely persevered in my studies.
About a month after I came to town, the doors of my lodging were blockaded by half a dozen cars, loaded with huge packing-cases, on which I saw, in the hand-writing which I remembered often to have seen in my blacksmith's bills, a direction to _Christopher O'Donoghoe, Esquire--this side upwards: to be kept dry._
One of the carmen fumbled in what he called his pocket, and at last produced a very dirty note.
"My dear and honourable foster-brother, larning from Mr. M'Leod that you are thinking of _studdeing_, I send you inclosed by the bearer, who is to get nothing for the _carrige_, all the bookes from the big booke-room at the castle, which I hope, being of not as much use as I could wish to me, your honour will not scorn to accept, with the true veneration of
"Your ever-loving foster-brother, and grateful humble servant, _to command_.
"P.S. No name needful, for you will not be astray about the hand."
This good-natured fellow's present was highly valuable and useful to me.
Among my pleasures at this studious period of my life, when I had few events to break the uniform tenor of my days, I must mention letters which I frequently received from Mr. Devereux and Lady Geraldine, who still continued in India. Mr. Devereux was acquainted with almost all the men of eminence at the Irish bar; men who are not mere lawyers, but persons of literature, of agreeable manners, and gentlemanlike habits.
Mr. Desvereux wrote to his friends so warmly in my favour, that, instead of finding myself a stranger in Dublin, my only difficulty was how to avoid the numerous invitations which tempted me from my studies.
Those gentlemen of the bar who were intimate with Mr. Devereux honoured me with particular attention, and their society was peculiarly useful, as well as agreeable, to me: they directed my industry to the best and shortest means of preparing myself for their profession; they put into my hands the best books; told me all that experience had taught them of the art of distinguis.h.i.+ng, in the ma.s.s of law-precedents, the useful from the useless: instructed me in the methods of indexing and common-placing; and gave me all those advantages, which solitary students so often want, and the want of which so often makes the study of the law appear an endless maze without a plan. When I found myself surrounded with books, and reading a.s.siduously day and night, I could scarcely believe in my own ident.i.ty; I could scarcely imagine that I was the same person, who, but a few months before this time, lolled upon a sofa half the day, and found it an intolerable labour to read or think for half an hour together. Such is the power of motive! During the whole time I pursued my studies, and kept my terms, in Ireland, the only relaxation I allowed myself was in the society at Lord Y----'s house in Dublin, and, during my vacations, in excursions which I made with his lords.h.i.+p to different parts of the country. Lord Y---- had two country-seats in the most beautiful parts of Ireland. How differently the face of nature appeared to me now! with what different sensations I beheld the same objects!
"No brighter colours paint th' enamell'd fields, No sweeter fragrance now the garden yields; Whence then this strange increase of joy?
Is it to love these new delights I owe?"
It was not to love that I owed these new delights, for Cecilia was not there; but my powers of observation were awakened, and the confinement and labour to which I had lately submitted gave value to the pleasures of rest and liberty, and to the freshness of country air, and the beautiful scenes of nature. So true it is, that all our pleasures must be earned, before they can be enjoyed. When I saw on Lord Y----'s estates, and on those of several other gentlemen, which he occasionally took me to visit, the neat cottages, the well-cultivated farms, the air of comfort, industry, and prosperity, diffused through the lower cla.s.ses of the people, I was convinced that much may be done by the judicious care and a.s.sistance of landlords for their tenantry. I saw this with mixed sensations of pleasure and of pain--of pain, for I reflected how little I had accomplished, and how ill I had done even that little, whilst the means of doing good to numbers had been in my power. For the very trifling services I did to some of my poor tenants, I am sure I had abundant grat.i.tude; and I was astonished and touched by instances of this shown to me after I had lost my fortune, and when I scarcely had myself any remembrance of the people who came to thank me. Trivial as it is, I cannot forbear to record one of the many instances of grat.i.tude I met with from a poor Irishman.
Whilst I was in Dublin, as I was paying a morning visit to Lord Y----, sitting with him in his library, we heard some disturbance in the inner court; and looking out of the window, we saw a countryman with a basket on his arm, struggling with the porter and two footmen.
"He is here; I know to a certainty he is here, and I _shall_ see him, say what you plase now!"
"I tell you my lord is not at home," said the porter.
"What's the matter?" said Lord Y----, opening the window.
"See, there's my lord himself at the window: are not you ashamed of yourself now?" said the footman.
"And why would I be ashamed that am telling no lies, and hindering no one?" said the countryman, looking up to us with so sudden a motion that his hat fell of. I knew his face, but could not recollect his name.
"Oh! there he is, his own honour; I've found him, and _axe_ pardon for my boldness; but it's because I've been all day yesterday, and this day, running through Dublin after _yees_; and when certified by the lady of the lodgings you was in it here, I could not lave town without my errand, which is no more than a cheese from my wife of her own making, to be given to your honour's own hands, and she would not see me if I did not do it."
"Let him come up," said Lord Y----. "This," continued his lords.h.i.+p, turning to me, "reminds me of Henry the Fourth, and the Gascon peasant with his _fromages de boeuf_."
"But our countryman brings his offering to an abdicated monarch," said I.
The poor fellow presented his wife's cheese to me with as good a grace as any courtier could have made his offering. Unembarra.s.sed, his manners and his words gave the natural and easy expression of a grateful heart.
He a.s.sured me that he and his wife were the happiest couple in all Ireland; and he hoped I would one day be as happy myself in a wife as I _desarved_, who had made others so; and there were many on the estate remembered as well as he did the good I did to the poor during _my reign_.
Then stepping up closer to me, he said, in a lower voice, "I'm Jimmy Riley, that married _ould_ Noonan's daughter; and now that it is all over I may tell you a bit of a _secret_, which made me so eager to get to the speech of your honour, that I might tell it to your own ear alone--no offence to this gentleman, before whom I'd as soon say it as yourself, _becaase_ I see he is all as one as another yourself. Then the thing is--does your honour remember the boy with the cord round his body, looking for the birds' eggs in the rock, and the 'nonymous bit of a letter that you got? 'Twas I wrote it, and the _gossoon_ that threw it to your honour was a cousin of my own that I sent, that n.o.body, nor yourself even, might not know him: and the way I got the information I never can tell till I die, and then only to the priest, _becaase_ I swore I would not never. But don't go for to think it was by being a _rubble_ any way; no man can, I thank my G.o.d, charge me with indifferency. So rejoiced to see you the same, I wish you a good morrow, and long life, and a happy death--when it comes."
About this time I frequently used to receive presents to a considerable amount, and of things which were most useful to me, but always without any indication by which I could discover to whom I was indebted for them: at last, by means of my Scotch landlady, I traced them to Mr.
M'Leod. His kindness was so earnest and peremptory, that it would admit neither thanks nor refusals; and I submitted to be obliged to a man for whom I felt such high esteem. I looked upon it as not the least of his proofs of regard, that he gave me what I knew he valued more than any thing else--his time. Whenever he came to Dublin, though he was always hurried by business, so that he had scarcely leisure to eat or sleep, he used constantly to come to see me in my obscure lodgings; and when in the country, though he hated all letter-writing, except letters of business, yet he regularly informed me of every thing that could be interesting to me. Glenthorn Castle he described as a scene of riotous living, and of the most wasteful vulgar extravagance. My poor foster-brother, the best-natured and most generous fellow in the world, had not sufficient prudence or strength of mind to conduct his own family; his wife filled the castle with tribes of her vagabond relations; she chose to be descended from one of the kings of Ireland; and whoever would acknowledge her high descent, and whoever would claim relations.h.i.+p with her, were sure to have their claims allowed, and were welcome to live in all the barbaric magnificence of Glenthorn Castle.