Destroy Your New Life, Repair It, Destroy It Again By Doing Crazy Things While Screaming YOLO! - LightNovelsOnl.com
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Pooooo, polo popopo, po!*
OH POLO, how beautiful it is!**
No, not the sink, this song is rubbis.h.!.+
It's the party! Like jiji would say!***
So now I can't divorce anymore…
WAIT!
I'll be forced to have her as official wife until the end of my life???
BUT YOU KNOW she's my f.u.c.kING SISTER!
s.h.i.+T!
f.u.c.k!
WHAT A f.u.c.kING PAIN HOLY f.u.c.kING s.h.i.+T!
Well in fact I'm more bothered by the fact she has the name of a very ambiguous character of Dies Irae, and that she's a total psycho, that she's sadomaso, that she's the worst pervert I ever saw, that she might kill me if I'm not seeing her for a day seeing how she's a total yandere, that if she has the Garonne in flood**** all the rivers in the world will also be in flood, and some other details without importance.
No!
Will I really have to join the MDF in the future?
Deranged Mariage Forever?*****
No one got a way to save me?
While I was doing a little aside, that seems closer to a monologue as I was whispering everything I was thinking, the crowd gradually leaved the room.
I decide to do the same.
The fountain was cut and the sun is starting to beat down on me strongly as the atmosphere already warmed up of a few degrees.
[…]
I am before my room.
I open it and stop immediately, I put up my guard.
I didn't detect any enemy.
I didn't detect any a.s.sa.s.sin.
I didn't detect any trap.
I didn't detect any poison.
I detected something worse:
My wife!
It seems danger is everywhere!
Before me, Marie is… touching herself…
Well, listen, kids, you have 10 seconds to leave!
10
9
8
7
6
5
f.u.c.k it's a pain anyway you won't leave I know you, but you won't complain later, you've been warned…
She b.l.o.o.d.y put I don't know how butcher knives in her a.n.u.s and her v.a.g.i.n.a, while she's fondling a breast with each hand and that the knives are cutting in pieces piles of hundreds of papers with my head on it.
PSYCHO!
PSYCHO!
Antoine******, take over for some seconds the time for me to b.l.o.o.d.y f.u.c.kING CALM DOWN!
« Psychopath alert… Look, mom, a psychopath! »*******
OOF thanks Antoine, it's all good now, I think I CALMED DOWN f.u.c.kING s.h.i.+T OF PAIN IN THE a.s.s f.u.c.kING s.h.i.+TTY d.i.c.k DRIPPING OF CYPRINE can you take over the chapter again Antoine?
« It's normal in Russia! »********
Oh my f.u.c.king G.o.d! Normally, I should have calmed down now, everything is alright, everything is f.u.c.kING ALRIGHT well this time I'm counting on you Aurélien!*********
« Everything's alright, kid, everything's alrgiht
If the men shoot each other, it's because there are vaccines in the bullets
And if the buildings explode, it's to make stars »**********
It's good orel, everything is alright now!
I think I'm ok…
But well, still, this panic fit was justified!
There's a reason why we do panic fit in life!
-Oh, darling! You're here?
...
...
...
*If you're into football you heard this… French people loves to shout this when the team's winning. Like "Et un, et deux, et trois zéro" (meaning 'and one, and two, and three to zero') when there's 3:0.
**Polo is considered a redneck name in French. As it sounds like a Portuguese name, and Portuguese came quite a few years ago to be masons, when we lacked workers for the tasks we didn't want.
***jiraya's sub sound when he streams, JiryaTV on youtube and JirayaLeCochon on twitch, we call him jiji
****"La Garonne en crue" means… well, when a girl is wet. The Garonne is a French river, that's often in flood, so this expression is used by people close to the Garonne, it's not an expression usually used by me, but this expression is fun, and always used when you are doing a parody of rednecks.
*****Well it sounds like a syndicate when it's MDF in French, but when it's DMF it doesn't look like it, so I kept the French one.
******Antoine Daniel, famous French youtuber who started with two video per week and finished with one video per year… And he's the only one to stay famous without publis.h.i.+ng video. The total time of his videos is shorter than the total time of other's videos with him in it.
*******In his series "What the cut", he uses this when there's a psychopath in a video he's talking about (that's actually a kid (girl) voice that says it, with a baby music, making the moment extremely awkward).
********Well, Russia's videos commentaries… A tank crossing the road in front of a car… A man punching a bear… And all kind of strange things (there's also a j.a.pan one, where it's exactly the same "It's normal in" and the Russia is cut and replaced by a "j.a.pan" clearly just copy cut on it with a rough voice).
*********Aurélien, known as Orelsan, is a French rapper (looks like an internet definition but that's really me who wrote it).
**********His song "Tout va bien", meaning "everything's alright".
