Auntie Toasts The VRMMORPG 96 2.2 Temple Cleaning - Favorite Home Appliance

In the middle sat a small table Aidan's console and with two orbs, the Globe of Revalation, which disclosed every spell used in its vicinity and the Globe of Honesty, which s.h.i.+mmered red when someone told a lie.

Several novices, monks, priests, and paladins filed into the hall but kept a respectful distance to the Council. Flora spotted Deriga in the crowd and smiled at her. While some of her colleagues stared at Flora with open hostility, the majority looked curious, some even excited.

Behind Flora stood the hungry chest, and at her feet, grouched Aito's octop.u.s.s.y. Its hide was tinged in the same tone of yellow as the robes of the bishops. The camera tentacles pointed in the directions of the faces of the congregation. Aito collected video footage of everybody's expression.

Now that the Council had a.s.sembled, Flora was unsure about whether it was the right move to collect everyone at the start of the investigation. In Agatha Christi's books, they always did it at the end. But Flora wanted to prevent them from destroying the records before Aidan could hack into their network. Of course, there was still the possibility of non-digital records. But who would hold information on actual paper these days? Only ancient bureaucracies like the government… or the church. 'Oh well, let's provide Aidan with enough time to crack the firewalls.'

"Thank you very much for the welcome. I'm here to prove to you that I'm the Champion of Evailyn and to discuss our further cooperation. But first, we should introduce ourselves. I'm interested in your responsibilities in the church and your favorite home appliance. Does anyone want to start?" Flora's voice rang through the hall.

"Please take the beginning, Champion." The Pope finally said.

"My name is Flowing Flowers. I'm the Champion of Evailyn, and my favorite home appliance is the toaster. I like all home appliances but the toaster the most. In my world, they reached the limit of innovation a long time ago. They can't make a qualitative leap in function or usability anymore. They are a pinnacle existence among utilities. I toiled all of my life to stretch the pinnacle just a little bit further."

Meanwhile, Aidan had entered the first layer of the network and received permission to go deeper.

Flora described her life's work of 50 years. The designs, the tiny improvement of functionality, and the joy of toasting the countenance of yourself, idols, or enemies on a piece of bread and eating it.

"The pleasure of having a toast is one of the daily luxuries of the modern human. You wake up, your mood may vary, your prospects for the day may vary. Maybe you need a cup of coffee to be able to speak or even think a coherent sentence. But what is the next step? Having a piece toast! What do you prepare for your kids or your partner as a snack? A toast! It's the symbol of basic care and, simultaneously, the expression of deepest love even in hectic circ.u.mstances like mornings in a busy family.

Dysian glanced between her and the Pope. His puzzled look was caused either by Flora's lecture or by the benign nodding Pope Razo. Zander's face was still unreadable. Nomizo looked thoughtful. The Abbot Irden was nodding as well, while the Paladin Ceart stared at her unblinkingly.

"Do you have a sweet tooth, or are more of the mix pickles with ham kind? It doesn't matter. Toast goes well with both, with everything really. Salmon, caviar, ham, cheese, jam, Nutella, Vegemite, peanut b.u.t.ter, and vegetable spreads. The toast supplements the rarest and the most common ingredients."

Flora fetched two dishes stacked with sandwiches. Two tiny streamers, one with SWEET and one with HEARTY written on them, stuck in the top of the pile. She pa.s.sed them around. While she had only prepared the two plates for the Council, she carried enough Nutella and cheese toasts to feed an army, in this case, the clergy of the church. Telekinetically she moved two boxes to the crowd. Additionally, one of her spy toasters distributed its load as well.

Flora continued with the part she had already said to Deriga in her cathedral. Home appliances equalized society and freed up the most precious resource of all, time.

"It is no incident that toast is a synonym for wis.h.i.+ng someone well. We toast to marriage, wins, and childbirth. We toast to life itself! As the toaster is the producer of toasts, it epitomizes the ability to cause events to celebrate."

Glittery flakes fell from the ceiling to the heads of the clergy.

"I believe in the G.o.ddess Evailyn, in the holy toasters and the infinite value of home appliances."

***************

You gained a new skill: Creed.

Description: State your Faith to your G.o.ddess, and your religious bonus will grow.

Duration: 10 minutes for every believer who joins you.

CD: 10 hours.

***************

You gained a new achievement: Creating a Creed.

Description: You created the Creed of the Holy Toasters for the Church of Evailyn.

Rewards: + 1 OV Faith

***************

"I believe in the G.o.ddess Evailyn, in the holy toasters and the infinite value of home appliances." Deriga's clear voice rose from the crowd.

The clergy around her repeated the sentence, and from there, it spread.

A glittering veil formed above of the clergy's heads. Of the Council's members, Irden, Ceart, Zander, and Nomizo had joined in and were affected by it. Dysian's gaze darted between his colleagues, the Pope, and the rest of the clergy. As the other voices were finis.h.i.+ng, he mumbled the sentence and was rewarded by a glow surrounding his head.

Now nearly everybody but the Pope and a handful of the crowd spotted glimmering heads.

Flowing Flowers to Aidan: "Remember the Names of the people who skipped the creed. I don't know whether they are just shy, not p.r.o.ne to peer pressure, or more sinister reasons."

"I would like to know more about you all. Especially what responsibilities you have in the church and your favorite household appliance. Bishop Nomizo already told me that she likes leafblowers. Who would like to go next?" Flora asked.

Afstira had a satisfied smile on her lips while the other bishops looked even more uncomfortable than before. Understandable, who would want to go after the 20 minutes speech on toasters. Flora reckoned that they had insecurities about the awesomeness of their favorites because they couldn't measure up to toasters.

Meanwhile, the visual effects toned down.

"I'll go next!" Abbot Irden cheerfully exclaimed. "I'm the teacher and administrator for all the monks of our great church. My favorite appliance is not the hot pot like some of you might think." He paused and winked to the crowd, and the monks chuckled. Flora identified them by their attire. They wore, like the abbot, a yellow tunic with wide trousers and a sash.

"We don't believe you if you claim any other device, brother!" A young Fireling shouted, and the monks cheered louder. Flora grinned at the abbot. Being popular with the underlings was a big plus in her book.

"My favorite home appliance are cleaning cabinets. Firstly, because I'm a messy eater and secondly because I like to nap after eating and not wash the dishes."

"I believe you, brother." a Waterling nun chirped. "I know the state of your tunic after dinner."

The monks laughed again, and the other clergy joined. The atmosphere of the room lightened up. Even Bishops Nomizo's and Bishop Zander's faces showed less harsh expressions.

"I'm the leader of the paladin forces." Captian Ceart said. He didn't smile, but his voice was measured and courteous. "My favorite household appliance is sharpening steel."

"Education." Zander's face had snapped back to a mask. "Broom."

"Why do we go along with this farce?" Bishop Dysian complained. He prepared to complain more, but the Pope disrupted him with a hand gesture.

"Please, dear colleague. I would like to know your favorite, too. I can't believe we worked alongside all these years, and I don't even know whether you like garden, kitchen, or home improvement the most!" Irden said.

"Garden!" Dysian snapped. "Water Purifier."

"Excellent choices." The Pope nodded to the round. "My choice is the smoothener."

"What is that?" Flora asked, intrigued.

"A device to remove the wrinkles in clothing." The Pope answered. Indeed, his yellow robes were nicely ironed.

"Great. Now I'm prepared to prove to you that I'm the Champion of Evailyn. I'm open to your suggestions or tests. Unfortunately, one of my champion power is on cooldown, but if you like, I can demonstrate Rise to the Occasion. But I'm fine with any other test as well."

"You have already proved yourself with the creed as part of the church of Evailyn. I believe you to be the Champion. I don't require further proof," Ceart said.

"Dito." Nomizo and Irden agreed.

"Of course, I believe you as well. Just to clear any doubts, I would appreciate it if you showed us Call Upon the G.o.ddess. And of course, it is always an honor to be in the presence of our G.o.ddess."

"This is the spell that is on cooldown." Flora was glad she mentioned the cooldown before. Otherwise, it would have sounded like a cheap excuse.

"How unfortunate." Pope Razo said, and the Globe turned red.

Flora raised her eyebrows. Maybe the Pope meant well, but his request bolstered the derision in Dysian's face, and the murmurs of the crowd hinted that their doubts rose as well. Maybe he didn't mean well. Flora thought that a man of his occupation should have a better grasp of his statements and their consequences. 'And why is the Globe registering the comment as a lie? It is unfortunate that I can't use the spell to prove my champions.h.i.+pyness! Maybe because he thinks it is good that I can't use it? Very peculiar.'

Flora to Aidan: "That's strike two against the Pope. I won't even count the strikes against Dysian."

"What about you Bishop Zander. How may I convince you?"

"Rise to the Occasion would be sufficient."

Flora cast the prayer and grew.

"Ha! You overdid it. You are too tall for the prayer. This height would mean you have over 50 levels in Faith. I don't believe a level 1 Earthling can reach so many!" Dysian looked hungry for confirmation to the Pope.

Razo nodded. "Indeed. You are quite tall for a level 1 Champion."

"So, you fault me for being too faithful?" Flora chuckled without mirth. "Alright, please suggest the next test."

The Council was silent.

Flora smirked. She took it as a cue to raise the stakes.

"I have a quest from our G.o.ddess to identify traitors in our midst and remove them." When Flora showed them the quest via Aidan's console, the crowd started murmuring again. "It is not proof that I'm the champion, but I hope it will be a further incentive to work with me."

"Those devices can show anything you want them to show." Dysian snorted.

"Finally, something I can prove with ease." Flora smirk widened, and she commanded: "Excommunicate Dysian!"