Chdrtlsy: A Short Story 9 Letting Go And Moving Forward

Lottatna sighed. "Come here, my love," she said, taking Resetarits hand again and leading him to the couch.

He tentatively sat beside her.

"Lay down a moment."

Slowly Resetarits lay with his head in her lap. She loosened his pants and lifted them in the back. "s.h.i.+ft your tails."

He did so.

"There you go." She ran her finger through his hair and he started to relax, but most of him remained on edge.
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"You're mad at me aren't you?" Resetarits said.

"No. p.i.s.sed off at Mylrd, yes. I don't care who anyone is, they have no right to treat you like that in your own home."

"He had a right to treat me like that. I messed up; changed."

"He did not have the right to treat you like that. And good for you."

Resetarits rolled to his back a little more to look at her, making her stop. "Good for you?" he asked, confused. "How is messing up a good thing? How is being put in exile a good thing?"

"Have you learned from your mistake?"

"Yes."

"Are you happier because you were able to change? Or do you wish for things to go back to how they were?"

His brow furrowed and he rolled back to his side.

Lottatna resumed combing her fingers through his hair. They sat in silence for several minutes while he thought.

"Despite being lonely, and, at times, grieving Licus' death," he started. "I've been able to do things here; learn things; I would not have had the opportunity to at home."

"Are you happier because you've had those opportunities?" she asked.

"I think so. No. I know so because I would not have met you otherwise." He turned back to see her.

"And how has knowing me made you happy?"

"You have always been kind to me, interested in my perspective, despite your own being different. You made me feel… like I was worth something."

"Because you are worth something, Resetarits. Every living creature, no matter where they are; what they are; or the kind of life they lead. They all have a part to play. Allowing others to make you think otherwise is where the problem lies."

"You really are wise, Lottatna."

"Wise in the fact that my eyes have been open to seeing life as it is and I can help others learn how to open their eyes as well."

"Will you teach me more about your work?"

"After dinner. It won't do us any good to be starving ourselves."

"Or the little ones," he added, caressing her abdomen.

"Very true."

Resetarits sat up and they kissed.

Then they made dinner together. After they ate Lottatna worked on Resetarits, explaining the s.h.i.+fts gained through the information gathered and the release the s.h.i.+fts created. He felt lighter when she was done, but tired. They snuggled together on the bean bag and slept.

'You're a noxious weed,' Mylrd said. 'You're a waste…'

Lottatna snapped her fingers above Resetarits' head.

Resetarits looked at her. "What did you do?" he asked. "I heard Mylrd then… he was gone."

"I cut the energetic tie between you. He won't be speaking to you in that fas.h.i.+on any more."

"Okay."

Lottatna kissed him several times before they returned to sleep.

"How did you sleep, Resetarits?" Lottatna asked when he stretched and flexed his tails.

"Better than I have in a long time. Thank you for cutting that tie."

"You're welcome." She gave him a kiss on the cheek then started making breakfast.

"How did you sleep, Lottatna?" he asked, unpacking her dishes.

"Okay for the most part. I woke once to some tenderness in my abdomen."

He nodded. "You'll come to feel that often over the next year."

"I figured."

Resetarits gave her a side hug and kissed her cheek. "Sorry it complicates what you are trying to accept."

"It will make things a little difficult, but we should be able to work through it."

"Are you still needing the Shooting Star?"

"I will for at least another week."

"Okay."

He stopped unpacking long enough to grab it for her to take.

"Thank you, Resetarits."

"You're welcome, Lottatna. Thank you for standing by me."

"Always."

They kissed a couple times, their whiskered noses s.h.i.+fting each time. Then Lottatna went back to cooking and Resetarits finished unpacking her dishes. When he was done, he ate with her. When they were done, they finished unpacking her things. Then the buzzer for the door downstairs rang.

"h.e.l.lo?" Resetarits answered.

"I have a delivery for Lottatna Mooring," the voice replied.

"Be right down."

They left together to gather the three boxes containing her flower essences. Resetarits carried two of the three and was sure to give Lottatna the smallest of the three. He had her unlock the door before following her inside. Resetarits set the boxes on the couch then turned to her.

"Now what?" he asked.

Lottatna set the box she carried down on the couch. "Now to have a bin deep enough for the leather to soak in all of this," she replied motioning to the boxes.

"I don't know that I have one."

"No worries."

She pulled the bottom drawer out of her dresser and dumped all the clothes on top. Resetarits opened all the boxes while she pulled out her leather suit and gloves. She found one of each essence and started to make sets—one of each. Then Resetarits did that while she opened the bottles and poured their contents over the fabric. The bin caught the excess and would provide the mix for the clothes to sit in until about ten o'clock tomorrow morning.

Once she had dumped the flower essences over each piece, she set them all in the bin—gloves and jacket on the bottom with the pants folded on top. She opened the rest of the bottles and dumped them into the bin. The amount of liquid to the height of the leather was just about perfect. She pressed the leather down with her hands before leaving them to soak.

They threw the empty boxes and bottles away before Resetarits helped Lottatna clean her apartment. He vacuumed and washed the front room walls while she scrubbed down the bathroom. He was working on the walls when he heard Lottatna coughing. She continued to cough and cough hard. He filled a clean bowl with water and entered the bathroom. Resetarits shoved Lottatna's nose into the bowl of water. She snorted the water and blew it out again. She did this a couple times before she could stop coughing.

"Better?" Resetarits asked.

Lottatna nodded. "Thank you."

"Just try not to inhale while spraying the cleanser."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Okay."

Resetarits kissed her forehead before leaving to finish the front room.

When Lottatna finished with the bathroom, she started to wash the outside of the fridge and freezer. Resetarits stopped her work and took her across the hall so they could eat. They snuggled for a few hours. She s.h.i.+fted her tails and Resetarits pulled her tighter against his chest.

"Sorry," he said, when she tensed slightly.

"Has the smell gotten worse?" she asked.

"It has."

"Then I'm not processing my emotions. Something more needs to be addressed."

"But what?"

"I'm not sure yet."

Resetarits rubbed his nose against her neck.

"Would you like me to work on you again?" she asked.

"That would be nice."

"Okay."

Lottatna got off the couch and had him lay down.

A lot of what came up dealt with the events surrounding and following Lucis' change.

"I'll prop the door open so you can join me when you're ready," she said.

He nodded and closed his eyes. He huffed once on the verge of more tears as she kissed his forehead. Resetarits lay on the couch for a while after Lottatna left. The overwhelming pain and sorrow leading to his exile here was now only an ache and something he would forever retain in his energy. He sniffled a moment before slowly getting up and taking a shower. Then he made sure the door was unlocked for Lottatna. He didn't bother dressing again. He knelt on the bean bag and stared away.

He didn't move when Lottatna returned—still hurt over everything he had done. Nor did he move while she showered. His tails uncurled then he released barks of mourning. Resetarits threw his head back and continued to mourn—the loss of Licus, not being able to prevent Lottatna's change, and the shame that stirred in his gut for having not done more to prevent Lottatna's pregnancy.