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Entering the dark villa Liang JianAmal pushed the door behind him silently . Heading upstairs to his office, he twisted the cold lump of metal in his pocket between his fingers .
Throwing it in to the top drawer Liang JianAmal violently slammed the drawer shut before locking it away . Rifling through the desk he found a case of cigarettes and immediately lit one up .
'I want you to take care of your health . . ' Thinking of her words, the burning stub between his fingers lost its enjoyment and he put it out forcefully . Unsatisfied Liang JianAmal leaned back into his chair running his hands through his hair .
Catching sight of her picture on the corner of his desk, his fury ignited . It was the picture of her with Justin in LA, smiling happily with him .
Taking one of his arms he swept everything off his desk in a brutal sweep . Papers scattered and flew apart as gla.s.s crashed . Yelling, the man grabbed what was easily at hand and smashed it, trying to vent his fury .
In the end Liang JianAmal kneeled among the ruins of his office alone and silent . All his rage spent . All his energy spent .
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In the busy streets across the world, filled with throngs of people Chang tried to lose herself . Or at least the memories that plagued her .
No matter how she tried to she could not though . Every night before she went to sleep her last thoughts were of him . Every morning when she woke, she would search for him to be beside her in confusion .
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'I got used to being alone for over a year, why can't I just get used to it again . ' At the end of a wasted day trying to forget him, Chang would cry tears of frustration as she drank herself to sleep .
On her third week as she walked through the bustling streets of Rome, Chang saw him walking through the crowd . His distinctive hair color have him away at first, but as she stared she realized that it was his familiar tall figure .
Pus.h.i.+ng through the crowd desperately Chang received more than a few curses and shoves back . Relentlessly she forced her way through to him and grabbed his shoulder . The younger man turned in surprise at the young teary-eyed woman who held onto his shoulder .
Embarra.s.sed Chang had instantly released the stranger and fled back to her hotel .
'You already know that you cannot be with him, so why would you chase him down even if it was him?'
After the encounter with the man that had reminded of her of Jian, Chang left Rome . As she had before she placed her finger on a map anywhere but Shanghai .
Walking on the beautiful white sand beaches of Morocco Chang was inadvertently reminded of the beautiful time they had spent together in Lahat . Looking at the sparkling blue water cras.h.i.+ng to the sh.o.r.e, zChang could almost see the two of them playing in the water as the image was so similar .
One tear carved a path only to be followed with another . Without caring for her image, Chang wept openly in public kneeling to the groumd before slumping to one hip . After crying until she felt hollow again Chang stared at the open blinding sea until the sun dyed everything crimson .
As darkness started to creep and the stars emerged Chang began to whisper the lines of a song she had once known well . When she thought about it now, it carried a new meaning to her .
. . . . "Oh its hard, letting go
"I'm finally at peace, but it feels wrong
"Slow, I'm getting up
"But my hand and feet are weaker than before
"And you are folded on the bed, where I rest my head
"There's nothing I can see
"When you are haunting me
"But I'm already there
"I'm already there
"Wherever there is you, I will be there too . .
"There's nothing that I take back
"Oh, but it's hard to say there's nothing I regret . "
Scoffing to herself Chang rose up and dusted herself off .
'It's time I move on again I guess, whatever I'm looking for or avoiding is not here . I'm not even certain anymore . . ' Lost, Chang looked out at the sea of stars that were starting to take over the skies .