One Degree Of Separation Part 31

"What a psychopath," Liddy snapped. "I got off lucky."

"Abuse is abuse. Don't compare. It all does the same thing."

Marian could tell that Liddy was forcing the smile. "You have done time in therapy, haven't you?"

"Too much. I should have gone back for a booster shot, I think."

She rubbed her eyes. "Will I ever get her out of my life?"

"Yes. I will, too." Liddy refilled their coffee cups.

"She really said I was perfect? That's bizarre."

"I never thought I would ever live up to Mary Sue. Mary Sue was smart, knew what she wanted from life, worked hard, was great in bed. Actually, all of that is true."

"Hah."

"It is," Liddy insisted.

"So what was her reason for leaving Mary Sue the Saint?"

"She fell in love with her next-door neighbor and broke Robyn's heart."

Marian felt the color draining out of her face. Had Robyn known?

"She used Mary Sue to put me down, and to excuse her own s.h.i.+t.

Mary Sue broke her heart so Robyn got to drink a little too much, and take it out on me sometimes."

Marian remembered to exhale. Had she brought Robyn's cruelty on herself? Had Robyn really snapped because she'd guessed Marian was in love with someone else?

192.

Liddy was chattering, but Marian couldn't take any of it in. The phone rang and she went to answer it, glad of the interruption. It was Ellie, who sounded as if she'd been crying.

Marian asked urgently, "Are you okay?"

"No . . . no, not okay."

"Where are you?"

"Um, using the pay phone at Hy-Vee."

"Do you want me to come get you?"

"No, I can drive. I'll be there in a few minutes."

Dazed, Marian stood with her hand on the phone until Liddy asked, "Is something wrong?"

"Ellie." She turned to face Liddy and then saw that her answering machine was flas.h.i.+ng with messages. She pressed on and listened to request after request from Ellie for her to call. "Oh, h.e.l.l, she's been trying to get me all night."

"Should I go?"

"I don't want you to," Marian said. "But I don't know what to expect and-"

"I'll go. She's your best friend, right?"

Marian nodded. "And she's been there for me since we were in high school together."

"I'll go. I need to work." Liddy smiled nervously.

"Can I see you tonight? Call you later?"

The smile turned brilliant. "Yeah. It would probably help if you had my number."

Marian grinned and felt lightheaded. The inner voices arguing about Robyn were still at it, but she'd ignore them for now. She wrote her own number down for Liddy, and taped Liddy's to the refrigerator. "I will call."

"Oh, I just remembered. I have my first official cla.s.s tonight at the dojo."

"Then maybe I can see you after."

Liddy's voice fell to a whisper. "I'd like that."

Tempted to push Liddy onto the counter and enjoy her body again, Marian made herself instead put her hands in her pockets.

193.

Robyn wasn't going to ruin more of her life. Robyn wouldn't prevent her from touching Liddy again. But right now Ellie needed her.

She walked Liddy to her car and risked a kiss good-bye. Time ceased to have all meaning as Liddy's mouth melted into hers. They were still making out when Ellie pulled up to the curb.

"Time for me to go." Liddy patted Marian on the chest. "If you don't call me, I won't forgive you. And I'll call you to say so."

Marian was still chuckling as she waved a last good-bye. She drew a long conscious breath after that, then turned to Ellie, who had finally gotten out of her car.

She did a double-take. Ellie's face was streaked with tears and she was wearing the clothes she'd had on yesterday morning. "Oh, honey, what is it?" She hurried down the driveway to pull Ellie into her arms.

"I slept in the car. I didn't know what to do. You weren't home.

You were with her, weren't you?"

"Yes-is that what this is about?" She drew Ellie toward the house.

"No, no. Not that. Sandy-Sandy's left me. For good."

Confused, Marian said, "But . . . you'd already broken up."

"She's moving out. I didn't realize what was happening. I'm such a fool!"

They stood in the foyer while Ellie cried into Marian's shoulder.

She smoothed Ellie's back and murmured comfort.

"You know what makes it worse?" Ellie pushed Marian away and stormed into the living room. "She's moving in with someone else!"

"Who?"

"You'll never guess! Someone I thought was my friend!"

"Oh, no-who?"

"Terry."

Marian had to process this new information for a minute. "But what about Jersey?"

"Even as we speak I think Jersey is probably asking herself the same f.u.c.king question. Apparently, Terry saw Sandy and me yester-194 day and thought we were getting back together. Sandy and Terry- they slept together a month ago. Terry cheated on Jersey."

"Terry was always clear about being nonmonogamous-"

"I know that, but I don't think for a minute Jersey really believed Terry would step out on her. Until Terry went and f.u.c.ked my girlfriend behind my back."

"Your ex-girlfriend, you mean."

"I don't care! They had some fantastic weekend and Terry got all hot for change and last night she takes Sandy out. Sandy gets back and they're moving in together. They're thinking about buying Amy and Hemma's house!"

"Oh, that is twisted." Marian sat down suddenly. "The dance card will never keep up with this kind of thing."

"Now what do I do? I really loved Sandy-"

"You did not and you know it. You're scared because she's leaving your life more visibly, that's all."

Ellie blinked with hurt. "Thanks. That's so supportive."

"Life is too short, Ellie. Too short to walk around thinking you'll never get what you want because somebody else has it or took it."

Ellie snapped, "Like you mooning over Hemma all these years?"

There was only the sound of Hill's claws on the kitchen floor to break the silence. Finally, feeling so heavy she could hardly make her mouth work, Marian asked, "Does everybody know?"

Ellie started to cry again. "I don't think so. Just me. You let it show sometimes, that's all."

This morning's tears welled up again, but Marian shoved them back down viciously. Enough, she thought. Enough. "I'm so sorry, El. About Sandy."

"I'm sorry about Hemma. I'm sorry I didn't say something. I was waiting for you to tell me. I know sometimes you felt so bad. But mostly you seemed happy."

"I was, mostly. But in a holding pattern."

Ellie nodded soberly. "True. But the pattern has been broken."

Marian could only agree. "I didn't want anything to change."

195.

"I'll bet Jersey feels the same way right now."

"Jersey is going to be a mess." Marian pictured the confusion and hurt Jersey had to be feeling. She might be dense at times, but Jersey wouldn't hurt the proverbial fly. Poor thing.

Ellie blew her nose. "h.e.l.l, at least she's single. I've always been curious."

Laughter bubbled through Marian's self-pitying urge to cry. "You are incorrigible."

"I'm single and pus.h.i.+ng forty."

"In six years."

"I should have just taken that threeway with Patty and Wen."

Marian gaped. "The what?"

"Oh, f.u.c.k, I never told you about that, but what the h.e.l.l does it matter. You won't tell anybody."

"No, I won't." Inner Historian was dancing with glee to have yet more items for the dance card. "It sounds juicy."

Ellie shrugged and collapsed onto the sofa. She wiped her nose with her crumpled tissue. "After Wen started feeling the arthritis she got really worried she was going to lose her ability to enjoy s.e.x."

"I wondered-she sometimes sounds wistful about it and Patty is always rea.s.suring."

"Yeah, so, Wen did some experimenting without Patty."

"Oh. With you?"

"Yeah. We had a couple of good nights. That's when she was with Carrie, too."

"Oh. I knew they'd been together, but I didn't know when." Inner Historian made a note.

"Anyway, it really does seem foolish now that it mattered to me that Wen wanted just me. But she's in love with Patty, and didn't want to give up Patty for me. That hurt."

"So what about the threeway?" Inner Prude was busily trying to scrub out the images Inner s.l.u.t was parading through Marian's mind.

When Ellie wiped her nose again, Marian tossed a box of tissues across to the sofa.

196.

"Thanks. Well, thing is, Wen told Patty because she felt guilty.

But Patty wasn't . . . upset. She was actually really turned on by it, which I guess surprised the h.e.l.l out of both of them. So they came to see me, to see if I would . . . and I said no. I was just starting to see Sandy by then."

"Wow."