Joe Dillard: Reasonable Fear Part 19

"Yeah, I guess so. The law says a person can use deadly force, but the language is tricky. I'd have to be in 'reasonable fear' of serious bodily harm or death, and the legal definition of reasonable is indecipherable. n.o.body knows what it really means, and I don't have any intention of getting myself into a situation where I might wind up at the mercy of a jury."

"But you're the district attorney, dad," Jack said. "You're not going to prosecute yourself."

"If I hunt these guys down and kill them, there will be an investigation. I'm not exactly the fair-haired child with the political crowd right now. If the investigation shows that I was on the offensive, they'll get a special prosecutor and charge me with murder. I'm not up for that."

"If you arrest them, how do you know more won't come?" Bo said.

"I don't. As a matter of fact, that's exactly what Pinzon said will happen."

"So you're going to have to kill them," Jack said. "Them and this Lips...o...b..guy, too. What other choice do you have?"

I looked at him for several seconds. "I honestly don't know," I said.

"What a mess," Bo said.

"Let's go back to the house. I need to say goodbye and get back on the road."

"You boys go on ahead. I'll be along in a little while."

Jack and I started walking slowly up the hill. He kept glancing at me, and I knew he had more to say.

"Spit it out," I said.

"I know you," he said. "You're worried about how you'll feel if you have to kill somebody."

"I can't kill anybody, Jack. It's like you said a few minutes ago. I'm the district attorney. I'm supposed to keep order by enforcing the rule of law through the courts, not by violence. And you're right. I am worried about how I'd feel if I killed someone. I don't see how I could live with myself."

He was quiet for a little while, but as were drawing close to the house, he said, "We can't stay here forever. Eventually, we all have to go back. Lips...o...b..knows that. All he has to do is be patient. If he wants to kill us and he has all this money and power, he can do it. So let me ask you one more question. How would you live with yourself if Lips...o...b..or these men he's supposedly hired managed to find us and kill us?"

I looked into his eyes, and at that moment, that miniscule tick in time, I knew what I had to do. He didn't have to say another word.

Chapter Thirty-Four.

Lilly had made use of Bo's library and was reading in the den when Jack and I walked back into the house.

"C'mon," I said to her, and she closed the book and followed us.

Caroline was in the kitchen with Melinda watching Sarah feed Gracie. I stood looking at them for a couple of minutes, then I looked at Jack and Lilly, both of whom were standing beside me. This group of six was my family. All of it. I had no grandparents, no cousins, no aunts or uncles, no in-laws. Melinda and I weren't particularly close, but she was my wife's mother and I felt the same obligation to her that I felt to the rest.

Would I die for them?

The answer was yes.

Would I kill for them?

If I had to.

"I need to get going," I said to Caroline.

"I know," she said without looking up.

Sarah wiped Gracie's face with a napkin, got up from her seat at the table and walked around to me. She wrapped her arms around my neck in a rare show of affection.

"I want my little girl to be just like my brother," she whispered. "I want her to be brave and strong."

"I'm sorry, Sarah," I said. "I'm sorry you got dragged into this."

"It'll be over soon." She pecked me on the cheek and stepped back.

Caroline was next. She cupped my face in her hands and smiled.

"Come back to me," she said.

I fought to hold back tears and squeezed her tightly.

"I will."

Jack and Lilly gathered close to us and draped their arms over our shoulders. I could hear Lilly sniffling. We stayed locked in an embrace for a long time, none of us wanting to let go, none of us wanting to say goodbye.

"I love you," I said. "I love all of you with all my heart."

"Please let me go with you," Jack said quietly.

"You have to take care of my girls."

I took the deepest breath I'd ever taken in my life and broke away. I hugged Melinda, leaned over and kissed Gracie on the forehead, and walked out the door.

Bo was lingering next to the van. The back doors were open.

"I gathered a few toys for you," he said as I approached.

"Toys?"

"I was active duty for twenty years, hillbilly. You don't think I'd walk away empty-handed, do you? Here, let me show you."

A wooden crate about half the size of a casket was in the back of the van. Bo lifted the lid.

"You remember how to use these, don't you?"

I stared into the crate, wide-eyed. "Are those what I think they are?"

"Yeah, but they're a little different these days."

Bo gave me a brief tutorial on the equipment. I knew all of the basics, but there were a couple of modern refinements that took only a few minutes to learn. He'd packed the crate with clothing, too, and I pulled out a pair of camo utility pants.

"Think they'll fit?" I said.

"Doesn't look like you've gone pork chop on me yet."

"I hope I don't have to use any of this stuff," I said as I started to climb in the van.

"Me, too, but better to have it than not, right?"

"I guess so. Thanks."

I looked toward the house. They were standing on the front porch. I could see that Caroline and Lilly were crying while Jack and Sarah were doing their best to remain stoic. Melinda had stayed inside with Gracie.

"They'll be fine," Bo said. "Don't worry about a thing."

"If something happens to me-"

"Nothing's going to happen to you. You're a Ranger."

"It was a long time ago, Bo."

"Doesn't matter. I remember what you were like when bullets started to fly, and I doubt you've changed. Are you going to have any help when you get back down there?"

"I hope so."

"Sure you don't want me to tag along?"

"It's not your fight, buddy."

"You ought to at least take that shepherd with you."

"Nah, he's my buddy too. I don't want to put him in harm's way."

I started the van and put it in reverse, taking a long, last look at the people on the porch. My eyes started to water again.

"I'll see you soon, hillbilly," Bo said. "Go give 'em h.e.l.l."

As soon as I got on the road, I dialed Bates' number.

"It's Dillard," I said when he picked up.

"Where are you?"

"Driving. I'm on my way back. We need to get together as soon as I get there and figure out a plan."

"What kind of plan?"

"A plan to deal with this case. To deal with Lips...o...b.."

"There is no case. Zack Woods and Hector Mejia, your best witnesses, are dead. Nelson Lips...o...b..is missing in action. It's over."

I noticed he said "your best witnesses" instead of "our best witnesses" and wondered whether he was trying to distance himself. Leon Bates was not only a good sheriff, he was a master politician. He had excellent instincts when it came to figuring out which way the political winds were blowing, and they certainly weren't blowing in my direction.

"You got any idea what's been going on around here while you been off doing whatever it is you're doing?" he said. "The press is going nuts. The politicians are all over me. My office was bugged, my house was bugged, my car was even bugged."

"I know all that, Leon. Pinzon came to see me at the hospital last night. He told me about the surveillance. That's why the FBI came and checked everything out. We have to find a way to make a case on Lips...o...b.. Otherwise, he's going to-"

"Pinzon told you?"

"Yeah. He told me a lot. He's gone, too. He's hiding."

"Then Lips...o...b..is the last man standing. He's the only one who hasn't run."

"Pinzon didn't run from us. He ran from Lips...o...b.. And Nelson didn't run, either. Pinzon says he's dead."

"You know something, Dillard? I think maybe Pinzon is playing you for a fool."

"Don't be ridiculous. Have you forgotten about the phone call Nelson made from the cruiser? And what about Zack Woods? He identified Lips...o...b.. Hector saw him get on the boat. He killed those girls, Leon. I know it and you know it. We still have Turtle, and if we can get Lips...o...b..to trial, I think I can convince Pinzon to testify against him."

"You got no case, counselor. My advice is you get your b.u.t.t back here and forget any of this ever happened. And you better start shoring up your end on the political side. There are a lot of people calling for your scalp. They-"

"Leon! Listen to me! Pinzon says Lips...o...b..has hired people to kill me, to kill my entire family."

"Is that a fact? Has it occurred to you that Pinzon might be pulling your chain? He's the Colombian. He's the one that would know how to hire men from Colombia for a hit."

"No, you don't understand. When he came to the hospital, Pinzon told me what happened on the boat. He told me all about his history with John Lips...o...b.. They dealt drugs together for years. They made millions. Lips...o...b..knows all about the Colombians. He's closer to them than Pinzon ever was."

"And you believe everything he told you?"

"Yeah, Leon. I do."

"He and Nelson are probably sitting on a beach somewhere drinking fruity rum with little umbrellas in the gla.s.s. They're probably laughing at all of us."

"They've gotten to you, haven't they? Who was it? The governor?"

"A lot of people a lot of powerful people think you're using Lips...o...b..as a career builder."

"But you know better, don't you?"

"Doesn't matter. The bottom line here is that this turns out bad for Joe Dillard no matter what. And if I stay with you, it turns out bad for Leon Bates, too. You can't prove your case against John Lips...o...b.. You're going to have to dismiss it, and when you do, the hammer is going to fall. I'm thinking seriously about putting out a press release tomorrow that says I've done my best to be loyal to the district attorney through this entire affair, but that circ.u.mstances now lead me to believe that he is engaging in a personal vendetta against John Lips...o...b..and consequently the sheriff's department will offer no further a.s.sistance."

"You're kidding me, right? This is a joke."

"Afraid not. All the signs have been there, but I've been too close. I haven't been able to see the forest for the trees."

"What are you talking about?"

"You start off by treating the governor of the state like a b.a.s.t.a.r.d stepchild, then you barge into Lips...o...b..s office and d.a.m.ned near attack him. You make a decision to indict three men on thin evidence, you insist that they be hauled up here in a prison van, and then you a.s.sault Lips...o...b..at the jail. You top it all off by pa.s.sing out flat on your face in the courtroom in front of G.o.d and everybody, and then you disappear. I may have been blind before, but I see the light now. You're unstable, Dillard. You might even be crazy."