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She turns her gaze to me, and her icy eyes lock onto mine. I feel my confidence ebbing, but I don't look away.
"It's hard for you girls to wait for your birthday," she says. "And I know you're aware you have some very grown-up decisions to make-the same ones your mother made, and all of the hunters that came before her did as well."
She walks closer to me, and I can't help but back away from Dani. Dani doesn't react-she just keeps staring down at her hands resting on the table, but I feel like I've abandoned her.
"I understand your frustration-really I do," Helena continues. "But don't for one second presume to know more than your elders. And as for you . . . " She reaches out and strokes Dani's hair. Dani doesn't flinch or move-it's like she's frozen into place. "You just need a little time to take in everything."
Dani's mom hurries over and takes Dani's hand. She gently tugs her up. Dani moves like a zombie-stiffly and without emotion. Mrs. Robbins wraps her arm around her, and they walk out without another word.
Helena gives me an evil victory smirk. "I know your initiation will run a bit smoother. You know what you want-and I think you know what you have to do to get it." She turns and her silver scarf falls off one shoulder and drags on the floor through the cat hair we haven't swept up.
I'm tempted to ignore it, but I know what she just said was a reference to Connor and me.
A warning that if I want to be with him I'm going to have to kiss a.s.s and be a good witch. I take a deep breath and exhale. "Your scarf is dragging," I say as sweetly as possible.
Helena turns and looks at me over her shoulder. "Why, thank you, Julia." She coils the scarf up around her neck and I wish I knew a spell that would turn it into a snake.
"Don't worry about Dani," Helena says. "She's a little more sensitive then the rest of you girls, but she'll come around. There really isn't any choice." She smiles broadly at me and then tips her head at Mom. "We'll talk in the morning, Catherine. Let me know if anything comes up."
"Of course," Mom says, and bile rises in my throat.
Helena shuts the door, and I head toward the stairs not wanting to have another "just wait"
conversation.
"Julia!" Mom calls out. "We need to talk."
"Unless you plan on telling me the big birthday reveal, I'm going to bed," I say as I keep going.
"Don't you think I'd tell you if I could?" Mom says with a cracked voice.
I look up the stairs and focus on my door. "You need to tell me why I should stay instead of running off with Dani. I trust her, and unless you have something good to say, I have no problem hitting the road with her before my birthday."
"I'll tell you what I can," she says quietly.
I hear her pull a kitchen chair out. It creaks under her weight, and I turn and walk back to the table. I sit across from her but keep my gaze toward the cauldron bubbling on the stovetop.
"There's a covenant-a magical covenant that binds us to certain . . . protocols." She takes a deep breath. "But we don't have the actual paper that details the agreement anymore."
I give her an incredulous look. "You lost a magical contract?"
"It was a long time ago-one of the hunters decided she didn't want to live under the covenant's restriction, so she burned the parchment along with a few of the coven houses."
"I take it that wasn't the end of the covenant?" I ask.
"No. The witch mistakenly a.s.sumed that simply destroying the paper the covenant was written on would void it-not thinking the other party involved still had their copy. The witch continued her reckless behavior, though. But then she discovered that the penalty for doing so was the life of a loved one."
I can't help but wonder if a demon was involved, but don't say anything about Margo and Sascha's vision just yet. "Why not just ask the other party for a copy of the covenant?"
"The other party is not exactly what I would called trustworthy. They could easily alter the agreement, and we'd be forced to comply with anything they might find amusing to add to it. It was safer to pa.s.s the rules of the covenant to each generation by word of mouth. While we're certain about some of the articles that were written, there are other things that we may be doing unnecessarily. We do know that breaking the wrong rules can have dire consequences."
"So we're doing all this stupid stuff because some witch burned the list of rules two hundred years ago?"
Mom nods. "I'm afraid so."
"And does Mrs. Keyes know you're telling me all of this?"
"After Sascha's initiation there was talk, and then after Dani's unfortunate reaction it was agreed that you and Zahara should be given basic information."
"Well, you can cross riding the sticks home after a kill off the list. Dani and I hitched a ride home one night and we're all still here."
Mom stiffens. "I hope I've made it clear how foolish that was.
"Maybe if you'd told me about this covenant nonsense before, I would have known that!"
"We a.s.sumed you were all following the rules!"
"Yeah, 'cause kids are always doing what they're supposed to."
Mom narrows her eyes and I have to wonder if they were really that naive.
"So," I say, "I a.s.sume the big eighteenth-happy-birthday reveal is the covenant?"
"Yes, there is information that was deemed to be sensitive in nature, and when the agreement was made it was decided it should only be shared when you were old enough to fully"- Mom pauses, appearing to look for just the right word-"to fully comprehend what was being expected of you.
"That's why it was imperative to keep Dani from talking. She was upset and not thinking clearly. Surely you understand she was putting lives at risk."
I get up from the table and take a deep breath. "I understand Dani knew the risks and she decided I needed to know what was going on anyway. And while I appreciate you throwing me a bone tonight, I'm not placated, pacified, or satisfied to wait until my birthday to find out what the h.e.l.l is going on. Good night, Mom."
"On July 7, 1991, Sascha's mother refused to go on a hunt," Mom says, and I freeze in my place. "Sascha was two, fussy, and her father begged Mrs. Ramirez to stay home. The rest of us went, completed our hunt successfully, and brought back a powerful talisman. But it didn't matter.
In the morning Mr. Ramirez was gone."
"He left them?" I ask, but I already know that's not what happened.
"He was taken," Mom says, "to punish Mrs. Ramirez for defying the covenant. Thank goodness, Sascha was too young to remember, but it happened right in front of her."
I turn to Mom and look her in the eye. "How many other people have been taken by demons?"
I expect to see her look shocked, but she doesn't. She just shakes her head. "How did you know?"
"How many people?"
Mom folds her hands in her lap, takes a deep breath, and exhales slowly. "Fifteen, though only ten people were taken with witnesses present, the other five could have disappeared for a variety of reasons. How did you know?"
"Dani and I activated the birthstone necklaces. Margo and Sascha had a vision or a premonition of a demon in the meetinghouse, and apparently someone's going to h.e.l.l."
Mom gasps. "Julia, you see, we have to convince Dani to stay and do whatever needs to be done!"
"Her mind seemed pretty made up."
"Make sure she changes it! What if Mrs. Robbins is taken-or Dani?"
"I would never let that happen!"
Mom relaxes a bit. "Okay, then. You know what you need to do. And while I've never used birthstones before, premonitions are often just a shadow of what might come true. They can be prevented from happening."
I think about Mr. Ramirez and get an awful thought. "Did my father get taken?"
Mom shakes her head, and tears well up in her eyes.
"Is he really dead?"
She shakes her head again. I look away, and focus at the witch b.a.l.l.s hanging on the curtain rod over the sink. "Where is he?"
Mom doesn't say anything.
"Where is he?" I ask again.
"I don't know. After Mr. Ramirez was taken, your father and I decided that as much as he loved us, he couldn't stay. I wiped out his memory with a spell, and he left to start over. I don't know where he is now, but-" Mom's face crumples in tears. "I have a witch ball in my studio that glows when he's happy. He loved you, Julia, but I couldn't let him get taken!"
"So let me recap this," I say, tears welling up in my own eyes. "My father isn't dead. Just memory-impaired. I don't exist in his mind. We're bound by some covenant that we don't know all the rules to, and messing up gets someone dragged off to h.e.l.l. Have I got everything?"
Mom doesn't say anything. Her chin quivers as she nods.
"And this is just the good stuff, right? On my birthday you'll be dumping something worse on me. Can't wait."
"I wish it didn't have to be this way," she whispers. "I wish I could have given you a different life."
"You know, Mom-despite everything you've told me, I'm not convinced you couldn't have. Dani may have been overreacting, but I don't think she was. I think she's just braver than everyone else here."
I stalk off toward the stairs.
"Julia, wait." Mom rushes past me and stands at the bottom of the stairs blocking my way.
"Don't do anything rash. It won't be long until your birthday-wait until then before you decide to do anything."
I look into her frightened eyes and feel nothing. No fear, no sadness-just emptiness. "I can't make you any promises."
I walk past her and up into my room. I sit on my bed and stare at the black window. The new purple witch ball Mom made me to replace the one Margo broke sways a bit on its string.
"d.a.m.n it!" I yell, pointing my hand toward the ball. The ball glows for a second and then shatters.
Gla.s.s clanks on my floor and bounces on my comforter. I hear Mom pause outside my bedroom, and I pray she won't come in. I exhale as I hear her move down the hall toward her room.
There really isn't anything else to say-is there?
14.
I stare at the ghost ball Mom just put in front of me. It's a light transparent blue.
Here I thought she was spending the last two days in her shop so she could avoid my sullen looks and silent accusations. Apparently she was just finding a way to keep the b.a.l.l.s blue.
It's hard to imagine I was joking around about blue b.a.l.l.s just a few days ago. Nothing seems very funny anymore. Everyone is lying low-avoiding everyone else at home and at school.
I look up at Mom with what I hope is a look of utter disdain. "Congratulations, Mom, you did it. So glad you didn't let the new ghost ball enterprise fall by the wayside while we're in the midst of a crisis here."
Mom gives me the same half smile she's been plastering on her face lately-the "I know things are tragically wrong but I'm going to pretend otherwise" smile. "Life goes on."
"Yeah, wonder how Dad's new life is?"
" Julia!"
"I know," I say holding my hands up in front of me. "Don't start-you didn't have a choice, and no, I wouldn't want my father dragged off to h.e.l.l, either."
She gives me the little smile again-though there is a hint of crazed frustration in her eyes.
I have to commend her on her ability to keep it cool when I've been baiting her every chance I get.
"But," I continue, "you don't seriously expect me and Dani to go out and test this for you?
Dani's barely functioning despite all of your a.s.surances she'd get over it, not to mention that she has a chem quiz tomorrow. I'm beginning to think there's some sort of conspiracy afoot."
I raise my eyebrows up and down, and suppress my own smile as I see Mom's get tighter and more forced.
"We've had an awful lot of hunts and such on Tuesday nights-and everyone knows she has a quiz every Wednesday."
"No one is trying to sabotage Dani's GPA. We just think it would be good to get her back out in the hunt and this will be an easy job. It's just one ghost at an old farmhouse."
"Was the deceased burned, butchered, or bludgeoned to death? It would be totally cool if he or shed been burned. Then you'd have a trio of barbecued ghosts, and you could sell them as a set!"
"It's not even a poltergeist, just a lingering shade," Mom says, obviously trying very hard to keep her voice calm. "But I hope you know your att.i.tude isn't making things easy here, and it certainly won't help Dani, either."
"I wasn't trying to be helpful."
"Then do it for Connor."
My eyes go wide, and I feel my chest flush. "Wha-why would I want to help Connor?"
Mom looks smug. "We're not idiots, either," she says slowly, her narrowed eyes locking into mine.
"Fine," I say, getting up and taking the ghost ball out of the box. I throw it up in the air and love her worried look as I catch it clumsily. I'm wondering if the only reason Mom isn't coming down on me about Connor is because she's trying to keep me happy so I don't do anything that, in her opinion, would be foolish. "But why can't we leave Dani out of it? I'll go alone, or take Sascha."