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That sounded far too ominous to Dana's ears. She tried for a lighthearted smile, though judging by R.J.'s frown, it wasn't effective. "Fine. Can you talk while I fix dinner?"
R.J. crossed his arms over his bare chest and scowled at her. "Why the h.e.l.l are you cooking? I have a perfectly good housekeeper to do that sort of thing. Speaking of which, where the h.e.l.l is Betty? She's usually here until after I get home."
Dana kept her back to R.J. as she pulled vegetables and pasta from the grocery bag then put a pot of water on the stove to boil. "I gave Betty the day off."
A beat of silence, then, "You did what?"
The low disbelief in bis voice wasn't promising. Forcing a bright smile, Dana turned to head to the refrigerator. "I gave her the day off. I wanted to cook today, so I saw no reason for her to hang around."
"The reason for her to hang around is that I pay her d.a.m.n well to do just that."
Dana tried to hang on to her own temper, but it wasn't easy. She'd so wanted tonight to be...special. R.J. had been so sweet all week. He touched her constantly and gave her outrageous compliments that she couldn't begin to believe but felt wonderful to hear all the same. She no longer felt so self-conscious about her looks around him. She'd even started to subtly change her appearance a bit It wasn't much, because she'd never been the daring type, but she'd loosened her hair just a little, and had even gone so far as to let a few long strands hang free. Twice R.J. had gently smoothed them behind her ears, and she so loved having him touch her that she'd vowed to keep her hair a little less neat from now on.
And because he'd made such a fuss about her legs, she'd taken Hope's advice and bought a pair of shoes with a slight heel. They were far from being s.e.xy, but they didn't look like orthopedic shoes, either.
She hid a smile, remembering the attention her legs had gotten at the office all day.
R.J.
had even forgotten his meeting, which was an absolute first.
She waved a hand at him. "Settle down, R.J. You're a big boy. I'm sure you can get your own drink."
R.J.
caught her wrist and pulled her around to face him. His expression looked as if it had been carved from flint "I can get my own drink. But I had laundry to go to the cleaners, as well, and I like to eat when I get home, not hours later. So don't ever presume to dismiss my housekeeper again."
He was ruining everything with his surly temper, and Dana didn't appreciate it one bit. She jerked her wrist free and poked him in the chest. Hard. "It won't be hours if you'll get out of my way and let me cook. Pasta takes all of about twenty minutes. And if we're going to be married, even for a little while, you better learn that once I leave the office, I stop taking orders from you."
She finished that sentence with another poke, and he grabbed her hand. He looked livid, though why, she couldn't guess. She met his gaze with as much bravado as she could muster, not giving an inch. Slowly, the look in his eyes changed to one of heat, but still he didn't release her.
"You won't let me give you a d.a.m.n thing, and now you want to cook, too?"
Dana rolled her eyes. "R.J., is that what this is about? I keep telling you, I don't need you to give me anything, and I enjoy cooking." She glanced down at his large hand, which was wrapped around her much smaller one. "I wanted to cook-for you."
He took a slow, shuddering breath, then released her. Turning away, he ran one hand through his hair and cursed low.
"R.J.?".
"I'm sorry," he said abruptly. "I screwed up today and I'm taking it out on you."
"Screwed up?"
He turned to face her so fast, she jumped. "I almost missed my G.o.dd.a.m.ned meeting."
It was starting to sink in just how much that had upset him. Dana knew R.J. was a workaholic, that he took incredible pride in the job he did. As long as she'd been with him, he'd never missed work, and he seldom worked less than fifty-hour weeks. It wasn't that it was expected of him; R.J. demanded it of himself.
Dana pulled out a chair at the kitchen table and pushed R.J. toward it. "Sit. You can talk to me while I get your dinner ready."
He sprawled into the chair. Dana thought he looked exhausted, but he asked, "Do you want me to do anything to help?"
Just to keep his mind busy, she handed him the package of prewashed romaine lettuce, along with a block of cheese and the shredder. "Tear the lettuce, and shred the cheese over it. Then toss on some croutons. You can put it all in this bowl."
Obediently he began tearing. As Dana began mixing up the creamy sauce for the pasta, R.J. said, "I can't be late for another meeting, Dana."
She glanced at him, worried at his tone."I'll make sure you aren't, R.J."
"You didn't make sure today."
He wasn't casting blame so much as simply pointing out an irrefutable fact. He was in such a strange, almost dangerous mood, Dana chose her words with care. "You distracted me today. I'll be more careful from now on." He glanced up at her, and she added, "You don't have to worry about it."
He went back to shredding the lettuce. Dana didn't bother to tell him he'd already prepared enough for the two of them. She threw in the angel hair pasta, then stirred it gently.
"Actually, I do."
She kept one eye on the boiling water, one on R.J. "You do what?"
"Have to worry. I've always had to be aware of the possibility that I was more like my father than I'd like to admit."
Dana closed her eyes a brief moment as the magnitude of what he was feeling sank in. She pulled the pasta from the stove and dumped it in a colander, then rinsed it with cold water. She moved automatically, her thoughts not on preparing the meal, but onR.J. "Your father..."
"Was the blot on the family name. He left his two children without a backward glance and hasn't shown his face since." He put the lettuce aside and rubbed his forehead. "I don't want anything in common with the man, Dana, do you understand that? There'll be no comparisons. I won't forget my responsibilities."
Without really thinking about it, Dana went to the back of his chair and wrapped her arms tight around his shoulders. He lifted his hands to hold her forearms and turned his face into her. She kissed his temple. "R.J., you're the most rock steady, dependable man I've ever known."
She moved her palm to his chest and caressed him, thrilling at the feel of his warmth, of the smooth flesh over hard bone and muscle. She kissed him again, then hugged him as tight as she could.
R.J. caught her and pulled her around to his lap. His large hand turned her face up, and he said against her mouth, "I don't want you to be hurt or angry."
Confused, she whispered, "I'm not." She kissed his chin, then tucked her face against his throat. "I'm so proud of you, R.J. And I know Megan and the rest of your family are, too."
His laugh was hoa.r.s.e. "They weren't proud today. They were ready to string me up for not telling them about our secret torrid affair."
"Oh." She leaned back to blink at him.
"They all a.s.sume we must have been carrying on behind their backs since we up and married so suddenly."
Her face flamed. "Oh, G.o.d. What must they think of me?"
"I believe Beth said something along the lines of you being a saint, since you could tolerate me and my mercurial temper. And Ellie wondered if you'd be a good influence on me."
Dana chewed her lower lip as that sank in. "Will they be disappointed when we separate?"
His thumb smoothed over her cheek. "I don't intend to disappoint anyone. That's why I made a decision today."
Dana felt awkward now that he'd gotten so serious. It looked as if it was time for that talk he'd mentioned, but she was perched on his lap and she wasn't at all oblivious to the hard evidence of his arousal beneath her. The last thing she wanted was a lecture. "Maybe we should eat first."
R.J. pulled her head to his chest, held her tight and said, "I'm firing you."
"What!"
Easily subduing her struggles, he wouldn't let her up. "Shh. You can call it quitting if you like, but the fact of the matter is, I can't have you in the office all the time. It's too distracting."
Again she struggled, and again he tightened his hold.
"Just listen, babe, okay? I did something today that I've never done before, because all I could think about was making love to you."
Dana stilled. It shouldn't matter to her, but she liked the sound of that. Maybe R.J. was starting to care for her. Maybe, just maybe, she meant more to him than a secretary or a temporary wife.
"I watched you sitting at your desk," he murmured, "and tried to imagine you there naked. You carried my papers and all I could think about was pulling you down on the carpet and opening your legs."
His words, which bordered on obscene, sounded incredibly s.e.xy to her. Without meaning to, she knotted her hands in his loose s.h.i.+rt, pulling herself closer.
"I wanted you on my desk, or, h.e.l.l, under my desk. Or standing up against the wall. I want you so bad, Dana. And I can't work because of it."
So she had to go. Dana hid a small smile of inconceivable joy. He wasn't manipulating her now. He had missed a meeting, and he had been distracted by her all day. Firing her wasn't just a ploy on his part to get her into his bed. He could have had her there at any point this week if he'd pushed her. But instead, he'd held back and he'd given her the most wonderful week-like a courts.h.i.+p.
No one would ever have accused Dana of being brazen, and now was no exception, regardless of what she was about to do. Keeping her face safely tucked against his body where he couldn't look at her, she whispered, "Then have me."
R.J. turned to stone. Dana wasn't even sure he was breathing. "Dana?"
It was a gamble, because the likelihood that R.J. would ever really care about her was remote. He'd had beautiful, sophisticated women after him his entire life, so why would he fall in love with her? But she wanted him too much to keep resisting. At least she knew his feelings, whatever they might be, were sincere. And she a.s.sumed once his frustration was taken care of, there'd be no reason for him to fire her.
She smiled and kissed his throat. "I want you, too, R.J."
He came to his feet in a rush, holding Dana close to his chest. "Right now."
Clinging to his shoulders, Dana took one quick look around the kitchen at the half-prepared meal. Reaching out, she turned off the stove, then dismissed the rest as unimportant. R J. kept kissing her, her cheek, her hair, her ear. She almost giggled at his haste, and he squeezed her tight as he bounded up the stairs to his bedroom.
"Don't you dare laugh! Do you have any idea what I've been going through all week?" He strode down the hall, not the least winded.
Dana tangled one hand in his hair and kissed his jaw. "Since you put me through it, as well, I think I do."
"Ha. You have no idea what it's about yet. But you will. Before the night is over, you won't have a single doubt."
He stepped into his room and kicked the door shut, then stood Dana beside the bed. She watched him, caught between nervousness and dizzy excitement as he threw back the covers on the bed and leaned toward the light on the nightstand.
Dana caught his shoulder. "R.J...." She wondered what to say as he glanced at her, then muttered, "Let's leave the lights off."
He held her gaze a moment longer, then switched on the light and straightened. "No,
you don't, babe." He threw off his s.h.i.+rt, then sat on the side of the bed. "You're beautiful and I want to see you, all of you."
Dana felt the first sick stirrings of dread. She wasn't beautiful and- R,J. caught her hips and pulled her between his legs. "Look at me, Dana."
It wasn't easy, but she met his determined gaze.
"I want you to trust me. Forget our first time together. I was a fool and I've been
berating myself over it ever since."
Wincing, Dana slipped her hand into his hair and explained. "It's...it's not about that first time, R.J."
"I gave you no pleasure at all."
"That's not true!" It was difficult to speak because R.J. had leaned forward and was
kissing her belly through the material of her skirt. She realized a second later that while he'd kissed her, he'd worked her zipper down. The skirt loosened. "R.J., I... I liked some of what you did to me that night."
R.J. reached beneath the skirt and caught the waistband of her panty hose. "Yeah. You liked it so much you refused to let me touch you again."
Her panty hose were around her ankles, and Dana, confused and off balance, stepped out of her shoes, then held onto his shoulders as he tugged the stockings the rest of the way off.
"It...it wasn't what I'd expected, R.J. That's all."
His laugh was hoa.r.s.e. "I can believe that."
He reached for the b.u.t.tons on her blouse and she blurted, "It was more. It was...too much."
His fingers froze on her top b.u.t.ton, then his hands slowly lowered to her hips again. Gazing up at her with a burning intensity, he whispered, "You want to explain that?"
When she fidgeted, he pulled her onto his lap, which made it easier for her to concentrate. But the second she began to speak he started undoing b.u.t.tons again. Keeping her wits together enough to measure her words was almost impossible.
She a.s.sumed that was his plan.
"Since I'd never had s.e.x before, I thought we could...you know, do it and we'd stay detached. It would be nice but no more than that. But you touching me, kissing me, it was so...intimate. So personal. I felt overwhelmed and swamped with feelings and -"
His hand slipped inside her open blouse and into the cup of her bra, cuddling her naked breast. She gasped.
"Me, too, babe." His words were quietly spoken. "I felt it, too." He bent down and kissed the upper fullness of her breast, plumped up by his hand. "But part of the reason it hit me so hard was this-your beautiful body totally took me by surprise. I want to see you, Dana, and I want you to trust me enough to know I'm not lying when I tell you how s.e.xy you are."
She didn't want to. She wanted to run away, to hide. But this was R.J., a man she'd loved since the day she'd met him and she didn't want him to be unhappy. He wanted her, and for now, that was all that mattered. "All right."