Is This Bottle Corked? Part 1

Is This Bottle Corked?

The Secret Life of Wine.

by Kathleen Burk.

INTRODUCTION.

Where do we begin? do we begin?

If this were a book about what wine to drink with what food, it would be easy. If this were a book about what wine to buy to impress your friends and/or business a.s.sociates, it would still be easy. If this were a learned volume on the effect of the phylloxera aphid on the French wine industry, it would probably be easier still.

But this is none of those books. It is, rather, to wine writing what the cabinet of bibelots was to Edwardian interior decorating: a collection of, one hopes, charming diversions to catch the eye, divert the mind, and perhaps provoke conversation. When you read the tale of the weeping sommelier, or consider "comet wines," or spend a moment considering potlatch, wine diamonds, Hippocrene, terroir terroir, or gout, there is nothing that we want you to do do. All we would like is for that part of your mind that is occupied with good living in general, and wine in particular (which may be a large or a small proportion of your mind, according to personal disposition), to be diverted, entertained, and primed with the sort of curiosities that make human society so much fun.

[image]

Yet again, where do we begin? Wine is perhaps more profoundly dug into-or poured out upon-human history than any other artifact, natural or man-made. Its history stretches back perhaps eight thousand years; certainly, it makes its appearance in the first written story we now possess, the four-thousand-year-old Sumerian Epic of Gilgamesh Epic of Gilgamesh, which comes from what is now Iraq and was then the Kingdom Between the Rivers, Mesopotamia, the cradle of civilization. There the king's friend is told by a temple slave to drink seven goblets of wine; there King Gilgamesh himself encounters the woman of the vines Siduri the maker of wine.

She lives beside the sea; She sits in her gardens by the sea's edge Her golden bowl and golden vats given by the G.o.ds, Veiled ...

Where there are grapes, there is wine; where there is wine, almost without exception, it is not only a source of good fellows.h.i.+p but a crucial symbol of ritual. At Jewish weddings, the bride and groom drink the kiddus.h.i.+n kiddus.h.i.+n wine from two goblets and the wine from two goblets and the nisuin nisuin wine from one, symbolizing the union of the couple. Timothy is encouraged to "drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach's sake and thine often infirmities." Jesus of Nazareth transformed water into wine at Cana, and blessed it at the Last Supper (the wine from one, symbolizing the union of the couple. Timothy is encouraged to "drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach's sake and thine often infirmities." Jesus of Nazareth transformed water into wine at Cana, and blessed it at the Last Supper (the kiddush kiddush, or dedication of the wine to Elohim, begins each Sabbath meal); and in almost every Christian community the action is repeated and remembered to this day in the communion prayers or the Canon of the Roman Catholic Ma.s.s. Wine was consecrated in sacramental banquets of the Roman temples of Mithras; it is found in Hindu ceremonials; it is one of the great subjects of the Ruba'iyat of Omar Khayyam Ruba'iyat of Omar Khayyam who, in Edward FitzGerald's ecstatic translation, sings of who, in Edward FitzGerald's ecstatic translation, sings of [image]

divine

High-piping Pehlevi, with "Wine! Wine! Wine!

Red Wine!"-the Nightingale cries to the Rose Wine!"-the Nightingale cries to the Rose Hard to imagine such paeans to beer, or liturgies celebrated in gin and tonic, however fine. Not that we would go so far as the medieval Germans, who regarded beer as the drink of pagans and barbarians, while wine represented civilization and Christianity; nor would we join forces with Hilaire Belloc, who claimed that beer was the drink of the dull Protestant north, wine the libation of the exuberant Catholic south. He has been often misquoted as declaring: Wherever the Catholic sun doth s.h.i.+ne, There's always laughter and good red wine.

At least I've always found it so.

Benedicamus Domino!

though what he actually wrote was: But Catholic men that live upon wine Are deep in the water, and frank, and fine; Wherever I travel I find it so, Benedicamus Domino.

Whatever he wrote, though (and he wrote, too, of "The fleas that tease in the High Pyrenees / And the wine that tasted of tar"), the truth remains that wine has bathed humankind in its benevolent light (scarlet or golden, according to your choice) throughout history. The Rotarians or Freemasons indulging in their ceremonial "taking of wine" join hands across the centuries with the guests at the Greek symposia, gathered round the krater with its formalized wine-and-water admixture; the breaking of a wine bottle on the prow of a new s.h.i.+p echoes the pagan libations poured out to the G.o.ds. Wherever we turn, there is wine. There it is, in the flasks of Roman soldiers, far from home, to flavor and sterilize the alien waters (and they grew vines, too, in the north of England and-you can still see the vineyard terraces-in the Cotswolds). Here it is in Shakespeare: Falstaff calling for more sack, the Duke of Clarence drowned in a malmsey b.u.t.t. Here is Cleopatra, famed (but did did she? she? Could Could she have?) for dissolving a pearl in her wine to impress her wealth and power upon Mark Antony. Here are at least three notable wine connoisseurs among the Founding Fathers of the United States of America, while over there sits great Dionysos, the G.o.d of wine, of fertility and collective joy, in whose name the cla.s.sical Athenians held their festival of tragedy, the she have?) for dissolving a pearl in her wine to impress her wealth and power upon Mark Antony. Here are at least three notable wine connoisseurs among the Founding Fathers of the United States of America, while over there sits great Dionysos, the G.o.d of wine, of fertility and collective joy, in whose name the cla.s.sical Athenians held their festival of tragedy, the tragoedia tragoedia, or "goat-songs" of the City Dionysia, attended by all citizens.

However, the discoveries of Louis Pasteur-that wine was a living thing, made by by living things, those benevolent yeasts-may have affected winemaking; however it may have become more predictable, perhaps in some cases more industrialized, wine itself will never be a truly industrial product like vodka or ma.s.s-produced beers. n.o.body will ever wonder about the story locked in a gla.s.s of Bud Lite or the hidden narrative of a rum and c.o.ke, but there are few wines that do not (if one is in a fanciful mood) murmur up from the gla.s.s, speaking to the attentive drinker of land and fruit and hope and human labor. Wine, more than any other food or drink, is a storyteller, and it is some of its more offbeat stories that we hope to tell in this book: stories of emperors and G.o.ds, of bugs and rituals, of organ pipes and astronomy and raisins and forgetfulness. living things, those benevolent yeasts-may have affected winemaking; however it may have become more predictable, perhaps in some cases more industrialized, wine itself will never be a truly industrial product like vodka or ma.s.s-produced beers. n.o.body will ever wonder about the story locked in a gla.s.s of Bud Lite or the hidden narrative of a rum and c.o.ke, but there are few wines that do not (if one is in a fanciful mood) murmur up from the gla.s.s, speaking to the attentive drinker of land and fruit and hope and human labor. Wine, more than any other food or drink, is a storyteller, and it is some of its more offbeat stories that we hope to tell in this book: stories of emperors and G.o.ds, of bugs and rituals, of organ pipes and astronomy and raisins and forgetfulness.

The habit of looking for the story in a gla.s.s of wine is one easily acquired and never forgotten. It pleases the mind and amuses one's friends. It changes, for the beginner, the nature of wine from a th.o.r.n.y path, a nest of vipers, a sort of obstacle course of sn.o.bberies and faux pas, into an affable and sympathetic narrative for every taste and disposition. We smell our wine; we taste it, and examine its color and clarity. We should also, perhaps, listen to what it has to say about itself.

And, of course, drink it. There was a Greek restaurant in London's Camden Town, now long gone, that served ordinary Greek wines in ordinary drinking tumblers, without ceremony. It stood in contrast to its more chic counterparts in the posher parts of town, where sommeliers, dignified as bishops, hovered over the nervous diner performing arcane rituals with corkscrew and tastevin, cork and napkin. On its menus was printed a motto: A meal without wine is like a day without suns.h.i.+ne A meal without wine is like a day without suns.h.i.+ne. Alas, in London then, both were the rule rather than the exception. But we learned. Since then, country after country has developed, improved, and exported its wines. Cases, bottles, barrels now crisscross the oceans in a benevolent globalization. We drink more wine than ever before, whether the doctors say that (this week) it will leave us demented or (next week) that it is the secret of spry longevity. The fruit of the vine and the skill of the wine-maker have between them the secret of an immemorial magic. But, like magic, it's not enough just to read about it. It is necessary to experience it, in moderation but often.

To accompany this little book, we suggest a premier cru premier cru Pauillac, or possibly a crisp young Pauillac, or possibly a crisp young vinho verde vinho verde. Or maybe a flinty Greco di Tufo or a vintage champagne, or a South American Tannat or a Klein Constantia or something from a Provencal co-op, dispensed from a petrol-pump nozzle into your waiting jerry can, or ... or ... or whatever you like. Draw the cork, open the book, and bon appet.i.t bon appet.i.t.

We will leave the last word to the poet Peter Meinke's "Advice to My Son": Therefore, marry a pretty girl after seeing her mother; show your soul to one man, work with another, and always serve bread with your wine.But, son, always serve wine.

NOTE: A collaborative book like this will often refer to something one of its authors did, or saw, or drank. It would be tiresome to say "I [Kathleen]" or "I [Michael]" every time. And so we have used "we" in every case. It's easier on the eye. But it doesn't mean we were both there. And it's certainly not the royal "we." A collaborative book like this will often refer to something one of its authors did, or saw, or drank. It would be tiresome to say "I [Kathleen]" or "I [Michael]" every time. And so we have used "we" in every case. It's easier on the eye. But it doesn't mean we were both there. And it's certainly not the royal "we."

Metonymy, morphic resonance, and sommeliers, or, is this wine corked?

WE, THE AUTHORS, would not so much as would not so much as contemplate contemplate physical violence toward wine waiters. We do, however, send wine back, sometimes because it is corked. At this point, we note that corking or cork taint is a fault of the physical violence toward wine waiters. We do, however, send wine back, sometimes because it is corked. At this point, we note that corking or cork taint is a fault of the wine wine, not of the bottle. Our t.i.tle, therefore, relies on the figure of speech (subcla.s.s trope) metonymy, in which, according to our dictionary, "the name of one thing is put for that of another related to it ... as 'the bottle' for 'drink.'" Our t.i.tle came before our dictionary research, and we are now convinced that our choice of words is an example of morphic resonance as proposed by Rupert Sheldrake, whereby existing patterns influence future ones merely by existing.

There are, of course, ways of arresting the attention of sommeliers other than by throwing a bottle at them. To ensure their respect, we suggest the following dos and don'ts: Do send a wine back, saying that it is corked, if it has the characteristic musty smell that resembles mushrooms or the result of striding through the dead leaves of woodlands in the autumn. If the sommelier has sniffed the cork after pulling it, he ought to have already spotted it for you; you might then look him straight in the eye in an inquiring manner as you suggest that it is corked. send a wine back, saying that it is corked, if it has the characteristic musty smell that resembles mushrooms or the result of striding through the dead leaves of woodlands in the autumn. If the sommelier has sniffed the cork after pulling it, he ought to have already spotted it for you; you might then look him straight in the eye in an inquiring manner as you suggest that it is corked.

Don't use the term use the term corked corked to refer to any other fault in wine. to refer to any other fault in wine.

Do send back white wine if it is oxidized or maderized, in which oxygen has managed to slip into the wine through the cork, turned it a dark yellow, and given it an aroma resembling madeira. send back white wine if it is oxidized or maderized, in which oxygen has managed to slip into the wine through the cork, turned it a dark yellow, and given it an aroma resembling madeira.

Don't say that a wine is faulty because it has left a deposit in the gla.s.s; it may indicate that the winemaker expects his customers to know that the deposit is harmless and to appreciate his reluctance to risk wine quality with the rather drastic processes of tartrate stabilization. say that a wine is faulty because it has left a deposit in the gla.s.s; it may indicate that the winemaker expects his customers to know that the deposit is harmless and to appreciate his reluctance to risk wine quality with the rather drastic processes of tartrate stabilization.

What is is corking? The chemical compound 2,4,6-trichloroanisole (TCA for short) is blamed for the corking of wine and is produced by the action of fungi on cork in the presence of chlorine. The fight between the proponents of screw caps and of corks is bitter, and cork taint is the main battleground. A screw cap eliminates the main source of TCA contamination in wine, but also that frisson of excitement when the cork is pulled and you sniff for mushrooms and autumnal woodlands, wondering whether the wine will be drinkable. corking? The chemical compound 2,4,6-trichloroanisole (TCA for short) is blamed for the corking of wine and is produced by the action of fungi on cork in the presence of chlorine. The fight between the proponents of screw caps and of corks is bitter, and cork taint is the main battleground. A screw cap eliminates the main source of TCA contamination in wine, but also that frisson of excitement when the cork is pulled and you sniff for mushrooms and autumnal woodlands, wondering whether the wine will be drinkable.

Yes, but what exactly is wine?

THE FIRST THING any European should do, when trying to find out what anything is, is to ask Brussels: the European Union will have a definition of and a regulation for it. For example, Council Regulation (EC) No. 1493/1999 of May 17, 1999, on the common regulation of the market in wine, says: any European should do, when trying to find out what anything is, is to ask Brussels: the European Union will have a definition of and a regulation for it. For example, Council Regulation (EC) No. 1493/1999 of May 17, 1999, on the common regulation of the market in wine, says: WINE: the product obtained exclusively from the total or partial alcoholic fermentation of fresh grapes, whether or not crushed, or of grape must. (Annex I, paragraph 10) the product obtained exclusively from the total or partial alcoholic fermentation of fresh grapes, whether or not crushed, or of grape must. (Annex I, paragraph 10) Two more definitions are needed in order to understand this one: FRESH GRAPES: the fruit of the vine used in making wine, ripe or even slightly raisined, which may be crushed or pressed by normal wine-cellar means and which may spontaneously produce alcoholic fermentation. (Annex I, paragraph 1) the fruit of the vine used in making wine, ripe or even slightly raisined, which may be crushed or pressed by normal wine-cellar means and which may spontaneously produce alcoholic fermentation. (Annex I, paragraph 1) This has a certain circularity.

GRAPE MUST: the liquid product obtained naturally or by physical processes from fresh grapes. (Annex I, paragraph 2) the liquid product obtained naturally or by physical processes from fresh grapes. (Annex I, paragraph 2) Does obtained naturally obtained naturally mean crus.h.i.+ng the grapes with naked feet? mean crus.h.i.+ng the grapes with naked feet?

Vine in the definition of fresh grapes refers to Article 19, which says that only varieties of V in the definition of fresh grapes refers to Article 19, which says that only varieties of Vitis vinifera and crosses thereof with other species of and crosses thereof with other species of Vitis Vitis may be entered into the cla.s.sification, and that "areas planted with vine varieties for the purpose of wine production not entered into the cla.s.sification shall be grubbed up." This is seen as ensuring both the quality and the "typicity" of grapes that will be made into wine in any locality. But it also sets out clearly who would be allowed to receive any of the subsidies Brussels may be proffering: only those who restrict themselves to the permitted varieties. This also forbids the use of any native American varieties of grapes-and, given their quality, this is just as well. Also rejected is wine made from any other fruits. So elderberry wine (alas for the English) and dandelion wine (alas for fans of Ray Bradbury) are merely "alcoholic beverages." may be entered into the cla.s.sification, and that "areas planted with vine varieties for the purpose of wine production not entered into the cla.s.sification shall be grubbed up." This is seen as ensuring both the quality and the "typicity" of grapes that will be made into wine in any locality. But it also sets out clearly who would be allowed to receive any of the subsidies Brussels may be proffering: only those who restrict themselves to the permitted varieties. This also forbids the use of any native American varieties of grapes-and, given their quality, this is just as well. Also rejected is wine made from any other fruits. So elderberry wine (alas for the English) and dandelion wine (alas for fans of Ray Bradbury) are merely "alcoholic beverages."

So: applause for the European regulator in trying to maintain the quality of European wine, but no gold star to Brussels for the drafting of legal doc.u.ments.

So who first invented wine?

AS WITH ALL successful products, there is a clamor of voices claiming its invention. Yet it is probably more to the point to ask, who first discovered wine? It is not difficult to make it. On the outside skin of the grape is the yeast and on the inside is the juice: mix them together, leave it to ferment for a few days, and the result is wine. All you really need are grapes. successful products, there is a clamor of voices claiming its invention. Yet it is probably more to the point to ask, who first discovered wine? It is not difficult to make it. On the outside skin of the grape is the yeast and on the inside is the juice: mix them together, leave it to ferment for a few days, and the result is wine. All you really need are grapes.

One claimant is Noah. After he and his family had descended from the ark onto dry land, the Lord told them to replenish the earth. According to Genesis chapter 9, verses 2021: And Noah began to be to be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard: And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent. an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard: And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent.

What is interesting here is the statement that he planted a vineyard, because the earliest wine would have been made from wild grapes; indeed, why plant a vineyard if you do not know what you can do with the produce? Perhaps, instead, he was the first viticulturalist? A subsidiary question is, why did he get drunk? Had he not antic.i.p.ated the effect of the wine? Or perhaps the effect was just what he wanted after a hard day's work. Medieval glosses on these verses, and particularly on verse 21, reflect a wide range of opinions on the subject.

For the ancient Greeks, the discovery of wine by men was the gift of Dionysos, the G.o.d of wine, the avatar who burst out of Thrace-or perhaps Phrygia-and brought the knowledge of wine to Attica. He disclosed the secret to a peasant called Icarios and his daughter Erigone, with whom he had lodged as a guest: the gift was his return for their hospitality. However, he commanded Icarios that, once he had successfully made wine, he was to teach the skill to others; the outcome was disastrous. Icarios shared his wine with a group of shepherds, who drank a very great deal and, unaccustomed to the effect it had on them, feared that Icarios had poisoned them. They grabbed their clubs and beat him to death. When his daughter returned, she looked for him in vain, and it was only when his faithful dog Moera led her to where her father had been buried that she realized what had happened. In despair, she hanged herself. But Dionysos rewarded them: Icarios became the star Bootes, his daughter was transformed into the constellation Virgo, and Moera became Canis or Sirius, the Dog Star. (Bootes has another t.i.tle, "the grape gatherer," because it rises in the autumn at the time of the vintage.) In truth, the vine was widely cultivated by the early Bronze Age-both Homer and Hesiod make it clear that wine was an essential part of life-and clay tablets dating from the late Bronze Age (about 1200 BC BC) connect Dionysos with wine, providing early evidence for his cult.

Another candidate for the discoverer of wine is a lady of the harem of the Persian king Jams.h.i.+d. The king greatly enjoyed eating grapes and caused them to be stored in jars so that he could enjoy them year round. One day it was discovered that the grapes were no longer sweet-in fact, they had fermented, a process unknown to the king and his house hold. He feared that the liquid was poisonous, and thus had the jar labeled "poison." The lady in question was bedeviled with migraine headaches that caused her terrible pain and had lost the will to live, so she drank deeply of the "poison." Sinking to the floor, she slept without dreams and without pain, and when she finally awoke, she felt refreshed as she had not felt for weeks without number. She returned to the jar and finished its contents. She was found out, however, and was forced to tell the king what she had done. Curious, he had a quant.i.ty of the wine made, and when it was finished, it was drunk with pleasure by the king and all his court. This Persian legend has some plausibility. By the use of micro-chemical techniques on archaeological residues found at Hajji Firuz Tepe, it has become clear that wine was being produced in the highlands of northeastern Persia in the Neolithic Period (c. 5400 BC BC).

The primary compet.i.tor is the Transcaucasus, particularly in what is now Georgia. Strictly speaking, however, it was ancient Armenia, which in cla.s.sical times included much of eastern Turkey, Azerbaijan, and Georgia. The vine was indigenous to the Armenian valleys, having established itself there over a million years ago, and petrified grape pips have been found at several Neolithic sites in the Caucasus on the Black Sea side. Other archaeological evidence from later periods includes irrigation channels, wine chambers with processing equipment, and large clay jugs. In Georgia itself, wine has been a dominant part of the culture for over five thousand years. Certainly there is ample archaeological evidence of this, with special knives for pruning dating back to between 3000 and 2000 BC BC and vessels from Neolithic sites dating to at least 7000 and vessels from Neolithic sites dating to at least 7000 BC BC. A conclusion might be that, although the discovery of wine and then the making of wine occurred in a number of different places, at this point Georgia seems to be the winner, in terms of both the longevity and the pervasiveness of its wine culture: when Christianity arrived in Georgia in the fourth century, the first cross was made of vines.

Will you be needing grapes for that?

CONSIDERING Dr. Johnson's definition of wine-the fermented juice of the grape-and in contrast with the EU diktat, we might pause to ask ourselves what else wine can legitimately, though possibly ill-advisedly, be made of other than grapes. Mead-which will crop up again later-springs to mind, though it's a bit of a stretch to consider honey a vegetable. But the truth is that it's hard to find anything that grows that Dr. Johnson's definition of wine-the fermented juice of the grape-and in contrast with the EU diktat, we might pause to ask ourselves what else wine can legitimately, though possibly ill-advisedly, be made of other than grapes. Mead-which will crop up again later-springs to mind, though it's a bit of a stretch to consider honey a vegetable. But the truth is that it's hard to find anything that grows that hasn't hasn't at some time or another been made into something that might be described as wine. at some time or another been made into something that might be described as wine.

We have before us as we write detailed instructions for the making of carrot wine, "corn squeezins," cuc.u.mber wine, wine from Jerusalem artichokes, onion wine, pea wine, peapod wine, parsnip wine, wine from pumpkins, wine from zucchini, sweet potato wine, sugarcane wine, and tomato wine. Most alarming of all, here is a recipe that begins: Put water on to boil. Shred Brussels sprouts and place in primary. Chop raisins and add to primary. When water boils, pour over cabbage and raisins. Add sugar, stirring to dissolve. Let sit overnight.

Brussels sprout wine. But sprouts are famously among the three things-the others being eggs and asparagus-that do not go do not go with wine. All we require now is asparagus wine and wine made from eggs, and we will have the top three self-canceling wines imaginable. Admittedly, the supplier of this recipe, Roxanne's Wine Cellar, begins with a disclaimer: with wine. All we require now is asparagus wine and wine made from eggs, and we will have the top three self-canceling wines imaginable. Admittedly, the supplier of this recipe, Roxanne's Wine Cellar, begins with a disclaimer: I developed this recipe by request. A search of the Internet for a Brussels Sprout Wine recipe only yielded a note on a website that there are no recipes on the Web for Brussels sprout wine!

But who would request such a thing? And surely the exclamation mark at the end, suggesting surprise at the absence of such a recipe on the Internet, is completely inexplicable.

However, de gustibus non est disputandum de gustibus non est disputandum-a Latin phrase meaning "there's no accounting for taste," useful to deploy when someone turns up for dinner bearing a bottle of homemade Brussels sprout wine.

Apple wine, pear wine, bilberry wine, cherry wine, elderflower wine, ginger wine, coriander wine, plum wine: if it grows, if it produces sugar (or if it can have sugar added to it), someone, somewhere, will have produced wine from it, even if only once.

But why the unquestioned supremacy of real real wine, by which we mean (siding with Dr. Johnson's first definition and that of the EU) wine made from grapes? wine, by which we mean (siding with Dr. Johnson's first definition and that of the EU) wine made from grapes?

It used to be a mystery. Why should grapes be superior to strawberries, peaches, or rhubarb? There seems inherently no reason-or there did not until 1998, when a Cornell scientist, Robert Kime, came up with what appears to be a very good reason.

It's the other thing about wine that's the problem. The alcohol.

Grape-based wines can be allowed to develop an alcohol content of up to 14.5 percent and still be considered excellent by many. But the aromatic compounds in other fruits and vegetables are less robust, and alcohol is, after all, a solvent. Allow the percentage of alcohol to rise to 11 percent, and the aromatics will be dissolved and evaporate literally overnight.

The answer? Halt fermentation at about 10.5 percent alcohol by refrigeration to 28F.

And now we wish we had never repeated this information, lest it encourage anyone to make a Brussels sprout wine that captures the true, the unspeakable flavors of the things.

How did wine help Marduk become king of the G.o.ds?

THE BABYLONIAN creation epic creation epic Enuma Elish Enuma Elish tells how Marduk, "the bull calf of the sun" and a young but mighty storm G.o.d, vanquished and destroyed Tiamat, the great mother G.o.ddess of Sumer. Tiamat and her son and consort Kingu, an evil pair, were the sea dragons of Chaos. Marduk was inclined to indulge in pranks, such as putting the winds on a leash, and a number of the lesser G.o.ds grew resentful. They decided to ask Tiamat to destroy him. She in turn decided to make war on Marduk and on those G.o.ds who were her enemies and who supported him. She created eleven monsters and put Kingu at the head of her forces. Her enemies wanted her destroyed, but who was to lead their forces? She was so powerful that none wished to go into battle against her. In desperation Ea, the G.o.d of wisdom and father of Marduk, decided that his son had the best chance of defeating her. Therefore, he asked Marduk to fight her as the champion of her enemies. Marduk tells how Marduk, "the bull calf of the sun" and a young but mighty storm G.o.d, vanquished and destroyed Tiamat, the great mother G.o.ddess of Sumer. Tiamat and her son and consort Kingu, an evil pair, were the sea dragons of Chaos. Marduk was inclined to indulge in pranks, such as putting the winds on a leash, and a number of the lesser G.o.ds grew resentful. They decided to ask Tiamat to destroy him. She in turn decided to make war on Marduk and on those G.o.ds who were her enemies and who supported him. She created eleven monsters and put Kingu at the head of her forces. Her enemies wanted her destroyed, but who was to lead their forces? She was so powerful that none wished to go into battle against her. In desperation Ea, the G.o.d of wisdom and father of Marduk, decided that his son had the best chance of defeating her. Therefore, he asked Marduk to fight her as the champion of her enemies. Marduk opened his mouth, saying unto [Ea], "If I indeed, as your avenger,Am to vanquish Tiamat and save your lives,Set up the a.s.sembly, proclaim supreme my destiny!"

In short, the a.s.sembly of the G.o.ds had to agree that if he won, he would be their chief forever.

This would be difficult: in general the G.o.ds would be loath to concede supreme power to any of their number, let alone to a young G.o.d. Ea decided that he should invite the G.o.ds who were the enemies of Tiamat to a banquet. He had his servants prepare mounds of pancakes, a favorite food of the Mesopotamian G.o.ds, and placed beside each of them a huge vessel br.i.m.m.i.n.g with a fragrant and delicious wine-or alcoholic beverage-made from dates. To encourage their drinking, he gave each G.o.d a tube through which he could drink his wine without needing to move. To encourage their relaxation, he had musicians play soft music on their pipes, and he brought into the hall many sheep, whose bleating further lulled the G.o.ds into restfulness. When the time came for the G.o.ds to vote on Marduk's proposal, the entire a.s.sembly agreed to his terms.

Arming himself with bow and arrows, a bludgeon of thunder, and a flail of lightning, the young storm G.o.d marched against the ancient G.o.ddess. One by one he defeated her monsters, and after a terrible battle he destroyed her and imprisoned the monsters in the bowels of the earth. He then tore the body of Tiamat into two pieces. He flung one piece up into the air, which formed the firmament; the other piece became the foundation of the earth.

The losing G.o.ds were punished by being forced to serve the other G.o.ds, digging the earth and sowing the crops. They eventually rebelled, burning their baskets and spades. Marduk killed Kingu and used his blood and bones to create a puppet, man, to do all of the work. In grat.i.tude, the G.o.ds built the city of Babylon, the center of wors.h.i.+p of Marduk as the leader of the pantheon of the G.o.ds of the Babylonian Empire.

What is terroir, and should we care?

TERROIR is one of those words that can only be translated by a sentence. For the more mystical among French winemakers and their equivalents in other countries, it is almost the spirit of the place, incorporating any and everything that makes up or influences a vineyard. Let us imagine that you want to buy a good vineyard, and, after due consideration of what is on offer-both in the market and in your bank account-you visit your choice. Stand in the middle of it: what do you see and feel? There's the climate, for one. In fact, it's for three, because grape growers divide it into macroclimate, which covers a region; mesoclimate, which covers a vineyard; and microclimate, which covers a vine. Is it hot, warm, cool, or cold, or a combination? Then there's the soil: what is it made of, and can water drain through it easily-most vines prefer keeping their feet dry-but can it retain just enough water for when the vine needs it? There's the alt.i.tude: is it high up or low down? There's the aspect: is it on a hillside-often better-or on flat land? How many hours of sunlight does a season provide, and how much warmth does the vineyard retain at night? Are there small rocks that are heated during the day and then radiate this warmth onto the vines at night? Is it near bodies of water, which moderate the heat or cold? In short, is one of those words that can only be translated by a sentence. For the more mystical among French winemakers and their equivalents in other countries, it is almost the spirit of the place, incorporating any and everything that makes up or influences a vineyard. Let us imagine that you want to buy a good vineyard, and, after due consideration of what is on offer-both in the market and in your bank account-you visit your choice. Stand in the middle of it: what do you see and feel? There's the climate, for one. In fact, it's for three, because grape growers divide it into macroclimate, which covers a region; mesoclimate, which covers a vineyard; and microclimate, which covers a vine. Is it hot, warm, cool, or cold, or a combination? Then there's the soil: what is it made of, and can water drain through it easily-most vines prefer keeping their feet dry-but can it retain just enough water for when the vine needs it? There's the alt.i.tude: is it high up or low down? There's the aspect: is it on a hillside-often better-or on flat land? How many hours of sunlight does a season provide, and how much warmth does the vineyard retain at night? Are there small rocks that are heated during the day and then radiate this warmth onto the vines at night? Is it near bodies of water, which moderate the heat or cold? In short, terroir terroir refers to all of the natural elements of a place. This means that the place matters. Furthermore, it means that some places are better than others. And most of all, it means that wines made from grapes grown in the best refers to all of the natural elements of a place. This means that the place matters. Furthermore, it means that some places are better than others. And most of all, it means that wines made from grapes grown in the best terroirs terroirs can command much higher prices than those wines made by less fortunate proprietors. can command much higher prices than those wines made by less fortunate proprietors.

Many growers and winemakers in the New World continue to deny that such a thing exists. Some years ago, a California farmer reputedly insisted that it is all just dirt: give the wine-maker the grapes and he or she will make good wine. Certainly, size can make a difference as to whether or not you have a terroir terroir to celebrate, in that the owner of a thousand-acre ranch in Australia spread out over a flat terrain is more likely to dismiss the concept than the Burgundian owner of four hectares whose soil differs markedly from that of the vineyard across the road. Nevertheless, it is the case that increasing numbers of New World winemakers are now, rightly, insisting on the quality of their own to celebrate, in that the owner of a thousand-acre ranch in Australia spread out over a flat terrain is more likely to dismiss the concept than the Burgundian owner of four hectares whose soil differs markedly from that of the vineyard across the road. Nevertheless, it is the case that increasing numbers of New World winemakers are now, rightly, insisting on the quality of their own terroirs terroirs.

So the real question is not "What is terroir?" but "Does terroir matter?" Except for the wrapped-up and blindfolded, it must be clear to any human being that terroir terroir exists. After all, why plant grapes in one field, cotton in another, and wheat in another? It is because the conditions are right for the respective crops. Can the winemaker really overcome obstacles provided by grapes that are not quite ripe, relatively tasteless, or too watery? If he wants to provide a drinkable wine, probably so. If she wants to produce a premium wine, almost certainly not. In other words, is great wine made in the vineyard or in the winery? Will you as an owner pay more for a great vineyard or a great winemaker? If you want to make a great wine, you must first acquire the great vineyard. Without that, even a great winemaker will struggle to make a great wine. To maintain both your vineyard and your winemaker, you need your wine to command a great price. And therefore, across the world, all those who aspire to this position celebrate their unique exists. After all, why plant grapes in one field, cotton in another, and wheat in another? It is because the conditions are right for the respective crops. Can the winemaker really overcome obstacles provided by grapes that are not quite ripe, relatively tasteless, or too watery? If he wants to provide a drinkable wine, probably so. If she wants to produce a premium wine, almost certainly not. In other words, is great wine made in the vineyard or in the winery? Will you as an owner pay more for a great vineyard or a great winemaker? If you want to make a great wine, you must first acquire the great vineyard. Without that, even a great winemaker will struggle to make a great wine. To maintain both your vineyard and your winemaker, you need your wine to command a great price. And therefore, across the world, all those who aspire to this position celebrate their unique terroirs terroirs. Desire makes believers of us all.

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Why did Omar Khayyam write so much about wine?

CONSIDERING that he was one of the greatest mathematicians of the medieval period (he lived from 1042 to 1131) as well as a notable astronomer and philosopher, why did Omar Khayyam write so much about wine? As a mathematician, he has exerted an influence that still exists today. His treatise on the theory of Euclid's that he was one of the greatest mathematicians of the medieval period (he lived from 1042 to 1131) as well as a notable astronomer and philosopher, why did Omar Khayyam write so much about wine? As a mathematician, he has exerted an influence that still exists today. His treatise on the theory of Euclid's Elements Elements advanced the theory of numbers, but of even more fundamental importance, in his mid-twenties he wrote a famous treatise on algebra, demonstrating, for the first time, how to solve cubic equations. Remember quadratic equations from school (e.g., x advanced the theory of numbers, but of even more fundamental importance, in his mid-twenties he wrote a famous treatise on algebra, demonstrating, for the first time, how to solve cubic equations. Remember quadratic equations from school (e.g., x25x=6=0, which is solved by x=2 or x=3)? Khayyam was the first to show how one would solve cubic equations such as x3=5x2=3x81=0 (of which one solution is x =3). But this was not enough: hidden for years from all but his circle of friends, he was a poet-and not only a poet, but a Persian poet who did not conform to Islam.

Islam had been brought to Persia by the Arabs in 642, barely ten years after the death of the Prophet. In northeast Persia, where Khayyam was born, the orthodox principles of Islamic law were determinedly enforced. Islam forbade its followers from drinking wine, a prohibition strengthened in the eleventh and twelfth centuries by the growth of religious factions, many of which were fanatical in support of their beliefs. Omar ibn Ibrahim al-Khayyam-Omar the son of Ibrahim the tentmaker-was nominally a Muslim, but he was secular in his bones and had little time for turbulent religious controversies. Nevertheless, it was safer to wear an outward conformity, and the ruba'i ruba'i provided a vehicle with which to express his disdain. provided a vehicle with which to express his disdain.

The ruba'i ruba'i was a two-line stanza of Persian poetry set out as a quatrain, of which the first, second, and fourth lines must rhyme. It was epigrammatic: beginning with a reflection or description, it drew a moral in the final line. Witty and intelligent people could express their feelings and opinions. Circulating anonymously and often voicing criticism of imposed doctrines or prohibitions, they were a favorite verse form among intellectuals, who might meet in each other's home and recite a was a two-line stanza of Persian poetry set out as a quatrain, of which the first, second, and fourth lines must rhyme. It was epigrammatic: beginning with a reflection or description, it drew a moral in the final line. Witty and intelligent people could express their feelings and opinions. Circulating anonymously and often voicing criticism of imposed doctrines or prohibitions, they were a favorite verse form among intellectuals, who might meet in each other's home and recite a ruba'i ruba'i or two. Persia had for centuries been a wine-drinking culture, but Islam prohibited wine; what could be more natural than to use verses about taverns, the grape, and wine both as descriptors and as metaphors for private opposition to the attempts to stamp out suspicious opinions? or two. Persia had for centuries been a wine-drinking culture, but Islam prohibited wine; what could be more natural than to use verses about taverns, the grape, and wine both as descriptors and as metaphors for private opposition to the attempts to stamp out suspicious opinions?

This is what Omar Khayyam did. Everyone knows his most famous one, as translated and remodeled by the Englishman Edward FitzGerald in The Ruba'iyat of Omar Khayyam The Ruba'iyat of Omar Khayyam in 1859 and subsequent editions (the standard version of this particular verse is from the fifth edition of 1889): in 1859 and subsequent editions (the standard version of this particular verse is from the fifth edition of 1889): A Book of Verses underneath the Bough, A Jug of Wine, a Loaf of Bread-and Thou Beside me singing in the Wilderness- Oh, Wilderness were Paradise enow!

This one is harmless enough. But what about this one, which has a touch of anti-Islam about it: And much as Wine has play'd the Infidel, And robb'd me of my Robe of Honour-well, I often wonder what the Vintners buy One half so precious as the Goods they sell.

This is even clearer in a near-literal translation (not by FitzGerald) of another verse: Drinking wine and consorting with good fellows Is better than practising the ascetic's hypocrisy; If the lover and drunkard are to be among the d.a.m.ned Then no one will see the face of heaven.

But according to Khayyam, heaven probably does not exist-and this in itself might have been enough to condemn him, had the authorities known: When the world is filled with the rumour of the fresh rose Command, love, the wine to be copiously poured; Don't bother about houris, heavenly mansions, Paradise, h.e.l.l-they're all rumour, too.

For Khayyam, wine was a metaphor for life: drink it while you can, because you will eventually die and there is nothing more: YESTERDAY This Day's Madness did prepare; This Day's Madness did prepare; TOMORROW's Silence, Triumph, or Despair: Drink! for you know not whence you came, nor why: Drink! for you know not why you go, nor where.

Yet he was not always so ridden with anguish or such a sense of finality. His ruba'iyat ruba'iyat must also have struck sparks because of their occasional devil-may-care cynicism: must also have struck sparks because of their occasional devil-may-care cynicism: You know, my Friends, with what a brave Carouse I made a Second Marriage in my house; Divorced old barren Reason from my Bed, And took the Daughter of the Vine to Spouse.

With sentiments like these, and the ability to craft them into memorable verses, it is perhaps no wonder that he, and others like him, recited them to trusted friends while sipping from goblets of wine. Were they the earliest samizdat?

What was the truth about Cleopatra's pearl?

IN ORDER TO impress Mark Antony, Cleopatra supposedly dissolved a fabulously valuable pearl in her cup of wine and drank it. Anyone who has tried this will realize that any wine you might be able to stomach would not be acidic enough to destroy a pearl. Pliny, on the other hand, wrote that "the servants placed in front of her only a single vessel containing vinegar, the strong rough quality of which can melt pearls" (IX.58). This is certainly more plausible, for the acetic acid concentration in vinegar might be sufficient to dissolve a pearl, which is mostly calcium carbonate; however, unless it was crushed first, the process would take rather a long time, and Mark Antony might have lost interest and left. Furthermore, the residual acetic acid would have made the drink distinctly unpleasant. Perhaps she looked into his eyes in a sultry manner in order to distract him while she drank the wine and just swallowed the pearl. impress Mark Antony, Cleopatra supposedly dissolved a fabulously valuable pearl in her cup of wine and drank it. Anyone who has tried this will realize that any wine you might be able to stomach would not be acidic enough to destroy a pearl. Pliny, on the other hand, wrote that "the servants placed in front of her only a single vessel containing vinegar, the strong rough quality of which can melt pearls" (IX.58). This is certainly more plausible, for the acetic acid concentration in vinegar might be sufficient to dissolve a pearl, which is mostly calcium carbonate; however, unless it was crushed first, the process would take rather a long time, and Mark Antony might have lost interest and left. Furthermore, the residual acetic acid would have made the drink distinctly unpleasant. Perhaps she looked into his eyes in a sultry manner in order to distract him while she drank the wine and just swallowed the pearl.

What was Falstaff expecting when he called for more sack?

SACK, OR SACKE, or sherris-sack, or a number of other variations, was a very popular drink from the early Tudor period throughout the next century or so, but it bore only a partial resemblance to the sherry of today. The plays of Shakespeare are littered with references to sack, but probably the most famous, as these things go, is Falstaff's paean in Act IV of or sherris-sack, or a number of other variations, was a very popular drink from the early Tudor period throughout the next century or so, but it bore only a partial resemblance to the sherry of today. The plays of Shakespeare are littered with references to sack, but probably the most famous, as these things go, is Falstaff's paean in Act IV of Henry IV, Part II Henry IV, Part II. He had been challenged for cowardice by Prince John of Lancaster, a son of Henry IV, because "when everything is ended, then you come"-he had managed to miss partic.i.p.ating in the crus.h.i.+ng of a rebellion. Falstaff denies to Prince John that he is a coward, but he afterward admits to himself that he might be but for sack: The ... property of your excellent sherris is the warming of the blood; which before, cold and settled, left the liver white and pale, which is the badge of pusillanimity and cowardice; but the sherris warms it, and makes it course from the inwards to the parts extremes ... [S]kill in the weapon is nothing without sack, for that sets it a-work.

But sack did more than make men brave: it also ascends me into the brain; dries me there all the foolish and dull and crudy vapours which environ it; makes it apprehensive, quick, forgetive, full of nimble, fiery, and delectable shapes; which delivered o'er to the voice, the tongue, which is the birth, becomes excellent wit.

So sack was a wine which could make the drinker-depending on the point of view of the spectator-garrulous and foolhardy, or witty and brave.

There is general agreement as to its origins as a Mediterranean wine. The English, who had a centuries-long love affair with the wines of Iberia for reasons of taste and politics-centuries of wars with France had rendered access to claret less than straightforward-were the most notable devotees of sack. In due course, they settled on the sack from southwest Spain. The outcome was general agreement that "sherris-sacke"-and later sherry-could only come from Jerez de la Frontera (as did the name), but in Shakespeare's time and later, sack could also come from the Spanish-dominated Canary Islands. Indeed, in his Dictionary Dictionary, Samuel Johnson defined sack as "a kind of sweet wine, now brought chiefly from the Canaries," adding that "the sack of Shakespeare is believed to be what is now called Sherry."

Sack could be both dry and sweet. Fundamentally, sack was a dry wine, but it could be sweetened by the addition of concentrated juice from a very sweet grape, the Pedro Ximenez (as is the case with sherry today). In Falstaff's day sack was normally sweet, but often the English-who had a notoriously sweet tooth-themselves added sugar or honey to it. It was white or gold or tawny, but never red. It could be harsh and strong, and this wine was often called the sherry sacke, or the sherris-sacke to which Falstaff referred. Bad wine could be doctored by lime, the acid of the wine being neutralized by the alkali, but Falstaff for one forcefully objected to this. In Act II of Henry IV, Part I Henry IV, Part I, after calling for a cup of sack, he shouted: "You rogue, there's lime in this sack too! There is nothing but roguery to be found in villainous man; yet a coward is worse than a cup of sack with lime in it"-clearly, to Falstaff a comparison of the utmost contempt. While not precisely a connoisseur, he had his standards.

Sack was the wine of a single year, unlike the sherry of today, which is blended from the wines of a number of years by the solera system. Nowadays the buyer knows what to expect, because sherry producers have house styles; then, it was unpredictable, with wines from the same vintage developing differently in different casks: more or less dry, more or less rich. The conclusion of the writer William Younger was that "Sherry-Sack was Sherry before Sherry became civilized."