Seriously I'm Kidding Part 10

I also like the t.i.tle because it reminds me of the fact that we always contradict ourselves when we talk. We say things like, "Would I like to go to that concert? Yeah, maybe." And when someone is telling a good story we say, "Shut up! Then what happened?" I once surprised a friend by showing up unannounced at a party and she yelled, "Get out! Come over here!" I didn't know what to do.

There are "well-known secrets" out there and there are people who are "so happy they could die." Sometimes people are so sad they have to laugh and sometimes things feel so wrong, they're right. Basically what I'm saying is, I usually don't know what people are talking about.

I don't know how we can be serious and kidding at the same time, but I do seriously hope you're enjoying Seriously... I'm Kidding Seriously... I'm Kidding. Pa.s.s it around, recommend it to friends, maybe buy a copy for your mother-in-law in case she's too cheap to buy one herself. No, I'm just kidding. Please don't tell her I said that. It was just a joke. Seriously... I'm kidding.

Last Chapter

Well, we've come to the end of our journey. This sure was a wild ride, wasn't it? I've had a wonderful time talking to you and I think we can both walk away from this experience having learned a little something about each other. I certainly learned a lot about you through the book's built-in camera that I never told you about.

So in conclusion and in summary and summation and to wrap things up in a way that will bring things to a close before we say good-bye in a conclusiatory fas.h.i.+on, let me leave you with these parting words: Be happy. Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system. Do things that make you feel good and proud. It can be almost anything. Name something. Yes, sure, try that.

Contribute to the world. Help people. Help one person. Help someone cross the street today. Help someone with directions unless you have a terrible sense of direction. Help someone who's trying to help you. Just help. Make an impact. Show someone you care. Say yes instead of no. Say something nice. Smile. Make eye contact. Hug. Kiss. Get naked.

Laugh. Laugh as much as you can. Laugh until you cry. Cry until you laugh. Keep doing it even if people are pa.s.sing you on the street saying, "I can't tell if that person is laughing or crying but either way they seem crazy, let's walk faster." Emote. It's okay. It shows you are thinking and feeling.

Find out who you are and figure out what you believe in. Even if it's different from what your neighbors believe in and different from what your parents believe in. Stay true to yourself. Have your own opinion. Don't worry about what people say about you or think about you. Let the naysayers nay. They will eventually grow tired of naying.

I don't mean to tell you what to do or how to live your lives, but those are some of the things that have worked for me. And I believe with all my heart and soul that even if we try the teeniest tiniest bit we can make this world a much happier and healthier one. And if we try even harder, we can do some pretty spectacular things. I know sometimes it seems like a world that has a blanket with sleeves can't get any better, but I think it can.

Thank you for purchasing, downloading, borrowing, reading, and/or listening to this book and for joining me on this adventure. I don't mind that you dripped coffee all over the pages or got sand in the crease or almost left me behind on a train by accident. I'm just happy we got to spend some time together and I look forward to a beautiful future.

Oh, and you have something in your tooth. Other one. There you go. You got it.

Fin.

ELLEN D DEGENERES is a beloved stand-up comedian, television host, bestselling author, actress, and midwife. She currently hosts is a beloved stand-up comedian, television host, bestselling author, actress, and midwife. She currently hosts The Ellen DeGeneres Show The Ellen DeGeneres Show and has hosted both the Academy Awards and the Primetime Emmy Awards. She would host you for dinner if she got to know you better. and has hosted both the Academy Awards and the Primetime Emmy Awards. She would host you for dinner if she got to know you better.