Murder Is A Piece Of Cake Part 6

Chapter 7.

Tuesday, October 23 "Yes, Your Honor, he left me at the altar." Molly Deaver, a snowstorm of white satin and silk illusion, wept scenically for the TV camera-and Judge Fletcher Hornsby.

The judge was a dried-up seventy with a fluff of white hair like a rooster comb. Only his black robes gave him majesty. He peered over the top of the high oak bench like a hungry chicken looking over a fence at feeding time. His small eyes glittered while he surveyed the bride.

Josie, Ted, and Jane stood silent in front of the television in Jane's living room, Stuart Little next to them. They knew they were watching a disaster.

"That's your bridezilla?" Jane said. "She seems sweet."

"She's not," Josie said. "But she's delivering an Academy Awardawinning performance as an abandoned bride."

"How did she get on TV already?" Ted asked. "And why isn't she wearing a jumpsuit to enter a plea?"

"There's your answer sitting at the table. Renzo Fischer," Josie said. "She must have called the best lawyer in St. Louis. Renzo has a real talent for getting around the rules."

"Fresh wedding dress," Amelia said from the couch. "You should get one like it, Mom."

"Be quiet, Amelia," Josie said, then instantly felt bad. "I'm sorry, honey. But this crazy woman is trying to wreck our lives."

Josie tried to hug her daughter, but Amelia shook her off. "Whatever," she said. "If you ask me, you're the crazy one."

"I agree with Amelia, dear," Jane said. She moved behind a green armchair, as if it were a s.h.i.+eld. "Not about the dress," she added, quickly. "Ruffles are not your style. But that Molly bride seems surprisingly sane."

"I know she does, Mom," Josie said. "That's the problem. I hope the TV station will show the crazy stuff she did at the clinic."

"What about Ted?" Jane said. "That station should have interviewed you."

"They did," Ted said. "I sounded like an idiot. This will be a ma.s.sacre."

Josie's heart went ka-chunk. Ted was right, she thought. Even if Rona showed Molly with the scalpel at Ted's neck, the viewers had already seen her looking sweet as a six-tiered wedding cake.

The horror show continued to unfold in the courtroom with mournful Molly. "And-and he said I was crazy, too," she said, soft and wounded.

Judge Hornsby straightened his scrawny shoulders and said, "He did? A pretty little thing like you!"

"Oh, thank you, Your Honor." Molly batted her eyes at the dried-up judge and squeezed out more tears.

"You've made me feel like a woman again," Molly said. "It helps that an important gentleman such as yourself thinks I'm attractive."

Her lawyer was beaming like a proud parent at a school play.

Ted groaned.

"Any man who doesn't think you're beautiful is insane," the judge said. "You are charged with a second-degree felony a.s.sault."

"No!" Molly said. Her eyes widened dramatically.

"I'm sorry, my dear," Judge Hornsby said. "I cannot reduce the charges. Only the prosecutor can do that. You did cut a man with a scalpel." He chuckled, as if a knife attack were adorable.

Josie yelled at the TV screen. "She drew blood!"

"Not that much," Ted said.

"Any blood is too much," Jane said.

"Hey, everybody, I can't hear with you talking," Amelia said.

Molly was still explaining her attack on Ted to the judge. "I did cut him, Your Honor. I was so upset. It was only a little cut."

"How do you plead, Miss Deaver?" the judge asked.

She looked at Renzo. The little lawyer nodded.

"Not guilty," she said, her voice sweet and firm.

"Your Honor, may I say something else?" Molly asked.

The judge nodded gently.

"Ted's mother went crazy and pulled a gun out of her purse-an actual gun-and threatened to shoot me. I would never hurt Ted. You understand, don't you?"

"I certainly do," the judge said, eyes twinkling.

"Gag me," Josie said to the TV.

"Mom!" Amelia said. "How can I find out what happened if you keep talking?"

"This isn't what happened," Josie said.

"Josie, please," her mother said. "We have to hear what she's saying. That way we'll know how to answer her lies."

Brave Molly had switched to another mode-righteous indignation. "Do you know what happened next, Your Honor? After Ted left me on our wedding day and my mother-in-law tried to shoot me? They both went to lunch at the Ritz with the Other Woman."

Josie shrieked so loud that Stuart Little yelped. "The Other Woman! How did I get to be the Other Woman?"

"s.h.!.+" Jane said. "I want to hear this."

"You're lucky you didn't marry him, Miss Deaver," the judge said. "I have to send the case to trial, since this Dr. Ted Scottsmeyer has pressed charges." His lip curled at Ted's name. "But I'm releasing you on your own recognizance."

"Oh, thank you, Your Honor. You've saved me and my baby."

"She's got a baby?" Amelia asked.

"A dog," Josie said.

"Miss Deaver, there's one more thing you must do," the judge said.

"Anything, Your Honor."

"Find a man worthy of you!" The judge banged his gavel.

The camera left Molly smiling bravely through her tears, and moved outside the courtroom to a TV reporter with a red suit and a blond bubble of hair. "This is Wendy Lee Chase, Channel Seven news, reporting live at the courthouse," she said. "We just heard Judge Fletcher Hornsby. The judge believes that Miss Molly Ann Deaver was left at the altar by Rock Road Village veterinarian Dr. Ted Scottsmeyer. Dr. Scottsmeyer claims he was attacked by Molly."

Claims? Josie's heart dropped like a rock out of a skysc.r.a.per window. The TV station had turned on Ted.

"I have an exclusive interview with Molly, the abandoned bride," Wendy Lee said.

A commercial for a floor mop flashed on the screen, but Josie, Ted, and Jane didn't see the woman dancing with delight while cleaning her floors. Ted plopped down next to Amelia.

"This couldn't get any worse," he said.

Josie tried to rub the tension knots out of his shoulders. "It's a smear," she said.

Jane gave him a rea.s.suring hug. Stuart Little licked his hand, and Ted scratched the dog's chin.

"It's not so bad," Amelia said. "It makes Ted look studly."

The show returned to Molly, seated on a pale peach couch, wearing a soft blue dress with a lace collar. Wendy Lee Chase sat across from her, oozing sympathy. "We're here with Molly Ann Deaver in her home," Wendy Lee said. "She was left at the altar this morning by Rock Road Village veterinarian Dr. Ted Scottsmeyer. Molly expected to be Mrs. Scottsmeyer by this time today. Instead, she's facing felony a.s.sault charges. Can you tell us what happened, Molly?"

Molly managed a mournful smile. "About six months ago, I took Bella, my Maltese, to Ted's Rock Road Village clinic to be spayed," she said.

The camera focused on the little white dog asleep on Molly's lap.

"I spayed her because I am a responsible mommy," Molly said. "After Bella's operation, I called the clinic and asked Ted to come to my home in the St. Louis Mobo-Pet van for her checkup. I didn't want to stress Bella by taking her out so soon. Ted works such long hours, he didn't have time to eat. I fixed us a little lunch. He was grateful. The Other Woman doesn't cook."

Josie stifled another shriek.

"Ted told me so," Molly said, her eyes wide. "He also said he wanted to get married."

"To you, Josie," Ted said.

"I know," she said. "I can tell she's twisting your words."

"I wanted to get married, Wendy Lee," Molly said. "I'm an old-fas.h.i.+oned girl who believes marriage is the most important career a woman can have. I'm working at Denise's Dreams, a bridal shop, helping other women plan their big days. But I longed for my own wedding. And Ted is the perfect man. He loves me, and we have so much in common."

"Like what?" Wendy Lee asked.

"We both love animals," Molly said. "And he loved my cooking. He was starved for good, home-cooked food-and for love. Soon we were planning our wedding. He'd come over and we'd talk about the perfect way to start our new life together. You could say Bella brought us together." She petted the little dog in her lap.

Ted stared at the screen, speechless.

Wendy Lee switched to a confiding "we girls" mode. "May I ask you a personal question, Molly? When did you and Ted consummate your love?"

Molly blushed prettily. "Do you mean, did we have s.e.x?" She lowered her eyes. "Like I said, I'm old-fas.h.i.+oned. I wanted to be pure for my wedding night. Ted agreed to respect my wishes. He said he didn't want to make love to me."

Ted said, "That's the only true thing she's said so far. Except she left out the word *ever.' I said I didn't ever want to."

"I know," Josie whispered.

Wendy Lee forged ahead. "So, tell us how your happiest day turned into your worst nightmare."

"This morning, I came to the clinic to pick up Ted in a white Bentley. I know renting a luxury car is extravagant, but I'd always wanted to ride in one. I thought Ted would enjoy it, too. They say it's bad luck to see your groom before the wedding, but I didn't believe that old wives' tale. Maybe I should have." She gave a sad smile.

"Everything went wrong from the moment I walked into the clinic. Kathy, the receptionist, has always been so kind. This morning, she tried to stop me from seeing Ted. I went right past her into the surgery, where your channel was taping Ted. He looked so handsome, but he wasn't dressed for our wedding. I reminded the silly boy he was going to be late. He gets so wrapped up in his work, he forgets, you know."

She smiled fondly at Ted's foible, before her face turned sad.

"Except he said he wasn't marrying me," Molly said. "Ted said he was marrying the Other Woman a month from now. I had no idea. She came to the store where I work, but I thought she was just another bride. She said she had an engagement ring, but I had one of my own, and let me tell you, my diamond is a lot bigger than her little chips."

Josie looked at her ring finger. "They're not chips, Ted. I love my ring."

"s.h.!.+" Jane and Amelia said.

Molly's voice wobbled on the edge of more tears. "The Other Woman told me to leave Ted alone. She said he was hers. I wouldn't listen to her crazy talk. Not on my wedding day. Our conversation got a little out of hand, and the next thing I knew, I was holding a scalpel and a woman who said she was Ted's mother pulled a gun and threatened to shoot me. I couldn't believe she was Ted's mother. He's naturally handsome and she looks like she's had more facelifts than Joan Rivers."

"Poor Mom," Ted said. "She doesn't deserve that."

"Did Dr. Scottsmeyer's mother fire the gun?" Wendy Lee asked the would-be bride.

"No," Molly said. "The police came busting through the door and she hid the gun in her purse. The police arrested me and I called Mr. Renzo Fischer, the best trial lawyer in St. Louis. Mr. Fischer asked that nice Judge Hornsby if I could make my plea in my wedding dress instead of an awful jail jumpsuit. Judge Hornsby said it was okay for your station to be in the courtroom, Wendy Lee. Otherwise, I would have been all alone."

"Molly told me she didn't like Channel Seven," Josie said. "She sure changed her mind fast."

This time Josie got a triple "Shhh!"

"And how did you plea?" Wendy Lee asked.

"Not guilty, of course," she said. "But my wedding-and my life-is over."

Molly sobbed again, but her mascara held fast. "Ted loves me. I know he does."

Wendy Lee turned to the camera. "And what does the groom have to say for himself?" she asked. "Not much. We asked Dr. Ted Scottsmeyer twice why Molly thought he wanted to marry her. Finally, Channel Seven got this answer from the doctor in his clinic surgery."

Josie winced when she saw this interview. Poor Ted looked like he'd been left out in the rain.

"I don't know," he said, and scratched his head.

"As you can see, the two-timing groom has no explanation," Wendy Lee said. "But his pistol-packing mama has plenty to say."

Lenore looked beautifully cruel on the small screen, twirling her pistol like a gun moll. She held up her weapon and bragged, "Don't underestimate this little beauty. It's small but deadly. This thirty-eight is a self-defense handgun for close quarters, designed to be easily concealed. It fits right in here."

Then she showed her black Chanel purse. "If necessary, I can fire right through this," she said. "But I'd hate to ruin a good purse."