Murder Is A Piece Of Cake Part 7

Lenore was still laughing when the show ended.

Chapter 8.

Tuesday, October 23 Lenore was still cackling on Jane's TV screen when three cell phones erupted. Ted's phone barked, Jane's rang like an old-school phone, and Josie's played "Here Comes the Bride." All three phone owners retreated into separate corners to answer.

Josie recognized her caller's number: Alyce, her best friend and matron of honor.

"I saw that horrible television show," Alyce said. "It's wrong. I know it's wrong. Ted would never do that."

Josie could practically see Alyce, her creamy skin flushed with indignation and her pale hair floating about her face.

"Every word is a lie," Josie said.

"I knew it," Alyce said. Josie's friend was as generous as her build, and a good listener.

"Molly Ann Deaver is insane," Josie said, "but Channel Seven loved her abandoned-bride act."

"Fletch the Lech sure bought it," Alyce said. "But I expected that."

"You know Judge Fletcher Hornsby?" Josie asked.

"My husband does," Alyce said. "So does the rest of the legal community. That old publicity hound. No, he's a real hound. They call him Fletch the Lech because he drools over every pretty face in his courtroom. Women lawyers dress like nuns to avoid that nasty old man. So far, he's managed to dodge any serious complaints, but the bar a.s.sociation is watching him."

"He was definitely watching Molly," Josie said. "She's been stalking Ted."

"Poor Ted," Alyce said. "I figured it had to be something like that. I don't trust that station. I got sucked in while I was channel surfing. First I saw Fletch, then the bride. I know her sister, Emily."

"Of course you do," Josie said. St. Louis was the kind of big small town where everyone was connected.

"She lives in my subdivision," Alyce said.

No wonder the fake bride wore a big rock and rode in a rented Bentley, Josie thought. If her sister lived in the Estates at Wood Winds, there was money in that family. Alyce's subdivision was a pricey gated ghetto in West County.

"Is Emily as crazy as her sister?" Josie asked.

"No, she's super sane," Alyce said. "She snagged a primo Wood Winds committee-the Thanksgiving food bank fundraiser. She and my friend Connie will be selling crafts at the Blue Rose Tearoom tomorrow."

"I'm going there for brunch with Mom and Lenore," Josie said. "We're discussing the wedding. At least, I hope it's a discussion. Mom and Lenore didn't hit it off the first time they talked."

"I saw your pistol-packing mother-in-law on TV," Alyce said. "Is that what she's like?"

"She's forceful," Josie said, "but better-looking in person." She mentally patted herself on the back for her diplomacy. If Ted hadn't been in the same room, she would have been blunter.

But Josie couldn't fool her best friend. "Ted nearby, Josie?" Alyce asked.

"Yes."

"Thought so," Alyce said. "At least your mother-in-law will live twelve hundred miles away in Florida."

"That's right," Josie said carefully.

"You can't talk, can you?" Alyce said.

"You know me too well," Josie said. "I'll be sure to buy something tomorrow." She clicked off her phone, relieved someone saw the real situation.

"How bad was your call?" Ted asked her.

"It was good," Josie said. "That was Alyce and she didn't believe Channel Seven's report. Who'd you talk to?"

"My partner, Chris," Ted said. "After the judge cut her loose, Molly headed straight for the clinic again. She flounced in, still wearing her wedding dress, and demanded Bella. Didn't even say thank you. She picked up her dog and left. Our clients stared and a Rottweiler growled at her."

"I wish he'd bitten her," Josie said. "What's Chris hearing from your clients?"

"Reaction is mixed so far," Ted said. "Two women canceled their appointments. They said they didn't want to deal with a hound like me. Six women requested me-and only me-to examine their pets at their homes. Chris said I wasn't making house calls this week."

"Amelia was right," Josie said. "The controversy has made you more attractive."

"Notorious," Ted said. "That's not the same. I don't like it. I'm an animal doctor, not a dog."

Amelia giggled.

"Alyce says the judge is known as Fletch the Lech," Josie said. "He's the real hound."

"Well, that explains something," Ted said. "That judge-"

The rest of his sentence was drowned out by Jane's shouting. "Ted's a good man and I'm proud to have him as my son-in-law. That's right, proud! That crazy Molly Deaver lied through her teeth. We're lucky to have him, AND IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE THAT, YOU CAN LOSE MY NUMBER, ESTELLE!"

Jane punched her phone off extra hard. "The nerve of that woman!" she said. "And she irons the altar cloths, too!"

She hugged Ted again. "This will blow over," Jane said. "Too many people know you're a good man and a good doctor. I hope you'll stay for dinner."

"I should have Josie take me to my car," Ted said.

"You should eat," Jane said. "I've got homemade beef stew in the freezer. Dinner will be ready as soon as I make a salad. Amelia, set the table for four, please."

"Mom's right," Josie said. "You need a good meal."

"Please stay, Ted," Amelia said.

"Well, I can't refuse three ladies," he said, and grinned at Amelia.

At dinner, Jane heaped Ted's plate with her savory stew, thick with beef, carrots, and potatoes. Ted speared a beef chunk and pushed it around his plate. Josie waited for him to eat it, but he abandoned it and stuck his fork in a potato hunk.

Conversations started up suddenly, then quickly died.

"I got those mums on sale at the garden center," Jane said. "I'll plant them after dinner."

"Need help?" Ted asked.

"No, you've done enough," Jane said. "I'm so upset, after that show, I'll feel better digging around in the dirt."

That killed the conversation for a long minute.

"While we're talking dirt," Josie said, "Alyce's husband is a lawyer, Ted. He can recommend a good attorney if you want to sue Channel Seven."

"What's the use, Josie?" Ted said. "Molly Deaver has been painted as a victim. If I sue her, I'll be the monster who attacked her in court after I abandoned her at the altar. I'll just hope the story dies away soon."

Josie didn't think it would, but if she said so, Ted would feel worse. More silence descended while Ted took a carrot on a tour around his plate.

Amelia tried the next conversation. "Zoe wore the freshest outfit today," she said.

Josie braced herself. Zoe was eleven going on forty. She was the first in her cla.s.s to wear makeup, drink beer with older boys, even s.e.xt a picture of her budding b.r.e.a.s.t.s to a boyfriend.

"She had this leopard blazer over a floral dress."

"Flowers and a leopard print?" Jane said. "I don't think those would go together."

"You wouldn't expect it to work, Grandma, but on Zoe it totally did. I loved her kicks. She wore Converse low tops. And she had this awesome Alexander w.a.n.g tote. You could find me something like that, couldn't you, Mom? You're an amazing shopper. It's your job."

"Wow, that's a lot of b.u.t.ter, Amelia," Josie said. "You've slathered it all over. I might be able to find one of those for your birthday, the dress or the blazer. Or I could score the Converse shoes. But the tote is out."

"Maybe I could buy the tote for Amelia's birthday," Ted said.

"I don't think so, Ted," Josie said. "It's more than six hundred dollars. That's too expensive. I can get a good knockoff cheap."

"It's not the same," Amelia said, and stuffed a big bite of beef into her mouth.

Ted resumed pus.h.i.+ng chunks of stew around his plate until Jane said, "Does your food taste bad?"

"No, no," Ted said. "I ate too many cookies before dinner. Now I'm not hungry."

"I'm finished, too," Josie said. "You've had a long day, Ted. I'll drive you to the clinic to pick up your car."

"After we do the dishes," he said.

"Don't bother about the dishes," Jane said. "Amelia and I will do them. You two run along."

They both thanked Jane and ducked out. Josie was grateful the awkward dinner was over. Mrs. M, arms crossed over her chest, was on her porch, staring at Ted and Josie as they walked to her car. Josie stuck out her tongue.

"That was mature," Ted said, and grinned.

"It was. I could have flipped her the bird," Josie said. "I don't like the way she stared at you."

"I'd better get used to it," Ted said.

Josie unlocked her car and Ted sat down heavily. Josie kissed him and said, "I'm so sorry you have to go through this." She felt content with her head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry I didn't recognize Molly was a stalker and report her," Ted said. "Now I've dragged you into my mess."

"You didn't drag me anywhere," Josie said. "I love you. We'll face this together." She wanted to stay in her car, safe and isolated from the world, but her mother came outside in her gardening outfit. Time to leave.

Josie steered her car into the street and asked, "Did you call Lenore about the show?"

"I don't have the nerve," Ted said. "I'm hoping she never sees it."

A block from the clinic, Josie slowed down behind a line of cars. "What's going on?" she asked. "Is there an accident ahead?"

"There's a parade," Ted said. "They're all slowing down at the clinic." He craned his neck. "I see at least five TV news vans. Don't go into the lot. Just cruise on past so I can see what's going on."

Josie inched toward the clinic.

"I see Channel Five's truck," Ted said. "And Channel Two, Four, Eleven, and Seven. That's Molly's blue Bug, parked next to my car."

"She's back at the clinic?" Josie said.

"Yep. Talking to Channel Four."

Josie didn't recognize the reporter, a telegenic type in a s.h.i.+rt the same blue as Molly's dress. The abandoned bride was carrying her fluffy white dog like a baby. Bella's rhinestone collar sparkled.

"Quick, Josie. Keep driving before she sees me!" Ted said, and ducked down.

Josie stepped on the gas and swung around the line of gawkers.

"What do you want to do about your car?" she asked.

"Can you take me home?" he asked. "Kathy and I open the clinic at nine tomorrow. I'll ask her to swing by and pick me up. I wish that woman would go away for good."

"Maybe if we wish together, we can make it happen," Josie said.

Chapter 9.

Wednesday, October 24 "Josie! It's Ted. She was here again." Ted didn't take time to wish her good morning. His words were quick, clipped, and angry.