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A Christmas Child.
by Mrs. Molesworth.
CHAPTER I.
BABY TED.
"Where did you get those eyes so blue?"
"Out of the sky as I came through."
Christmas week a good many years ago. Not an "old-fas.h.i.+oned" Christmas this year, for there was no snow or ice; the sky was clear and the air pure, but yet without the sharp, bracing clearness and purity that Master Jack Frost brings when he comes to see us in one of his nice, bright, sunny humours. For he has humours as well as other people--not only is he fickle in the extreme, but even _black_ sometimes, and he is then, I can a.s.sure you, a most disagreeable visitor. But this Christmas time he had taken it into his head not to come at all, and the world looked rather reproachful and disconcerted. The poor, bare December world--it misses its snow garment, so graciously hiding all imperfections revealed by the absence of green gra.s.s and fluttering leaves; it misses, too, its winter jewels of icicles and h.o.a.r frost. Poor old world! What a great many Decembers you have jogged through; no wonder you begin to feel that you need a little dressing up and adorning, like a beauty no longer as young as she has been. Yet ever-young world, too!
Who, that gazes at March's daffodils and sweet April's primroses, can believe that the world is growing old? Sometimes one could almost wish that it would leave off being so exquisitely, so heartlessly young. For the daffodils nod their golden heads, the primroses smile up through their leafy nests--year after year, they never fail us. But the children that loved them so; the little feet that trotted so eagerly down the lanes, the tiny hands that gathered the flower-treasures with such delight--where are they all? Men and women, some in far-off lands, perhaps; or too wearied by cares and sorrows to look for the spring flowers of long ago. And some--the sweetest of all, _these_ seem--farther away still, and yet surely nearer? in the happier land, whose flowers our fancy tries in vain to picture.
But I am forgetting a little, I think, that I am going to tell about a child to children, and that my "tellings" begin, not in March or April, but at Christmas-time. Christmas-time, fortunately, does not depend on Jack Frost for _all_ its pleasures. Christmas-boxes are just as welcome without as with his presence. And never was a Christmas-box more welcome than one that came to a certain house by the sea one twenty-sixth of December, now a good many years ago.
Yet it was not a very big present, nor a very uncommon present. But it was very precious, and, to _my_ thinking, very, very pretty; for it was a wee baby boy. Such a dear wee baby, I think you would have called it; so neat and tiny, and with such nice baby-blue eyes. Its hands and feet, especially, were very delightful. "_Almost_ as pretty as newly-hatched ducklings, aren't they?" a little girl I know once said of some baby feet that she was admiring, and I really think she was right. No wonder was it, that the happy people in the house by the sea were very proud of their Christmas-box, that the baby's mother, especially, thought there never was, never could be, anything so sweet as her baby Ted.
But poor baby Ted had not long to wait for his share of the troubles which we are told come to all, though it does seem as if some people, and children too, had more than others. He was a very delicate little baby. His mother did not notice it at first because, you see, he was the first baby she had ever had of her very own, and she was too pleased to think him anything but perfect. And indeed he _was_ perfect of his kind, only there was so little of him! He was like one of those very, very tiny little white flowers that one has to hunt under the hedges for, and which surprise you by their daintiness when you look at them closely. Only such fragile daintiness needs tender handling, and these little half-opened buds sometimes shrink from the touch of even the kindest of mothers and nurses, and gently fade out of their sight to bloom in a sunnier and softer clime than ours. And knowing this, a cold chill crept round the heart of little Ted's mother when his nurse, who was older and wiser than she, shook her head sadly as she owned that he was about the tiniest baby she had ever seen. But the cold chill did not stay there. Ted, who was scarcely a month old, gave a sudden smile of baby pleasure as she was anxiously looking at him. He had caught sight of some bright flowers on the wall, and his blue eyes had told him that the proper thing to do was to smile at them. And his smile was to his mother like the sun breaking through a cloud.
"I will not be afraid for my darling," said she. "G.o.d knows what is best for him, but I think, I do _think_, he will live to grow a healthy, happy boy. How could a Christmas child be anything else?"
And she was right. Day after day, week by week, month after month, the wee man grew bigger and stronger. It was not all smooth sailing, however. He had to fight pretty hard for his little share of the world and of life sometimes. And many a sad fit of baby-crying made his mother's heart ache as she asked herself if after all it might not be better for her poor little boy to give up the battle which seemed so trying to him. But no--that was not Master Ted's opinion at all. He cried, and he would not go to sleep, and he cried again. But all through the crying and the restlessness he was growing stronger and bigger.
"The world strikes me as not half a bad place. I mean to look about me in it and see all that there is to be seen," I could fancy his baby mind thinking to itself, when he was held at his nursery window, and his bright eyes gazed out unweariedly at the beautiful sights to be seen from it--the mountains in the distance lifting their grand old heads to the glorious sky, which Ted looked as if he knew a good deal about if he chose to tell; the sea near at hand with its ever-changing charm and the white sails scudding along in the sunlight. Ah yes, little Ted was in the right--the world _is_ a very pretty place, and a baby boy whose special corner of it is where his was, is a very lucky little person, notwithstanding the pains and grievances of babyhood.
And before long Ted's fits of crying became so completely a thing of the past that it was really difficult to believe in them. All his grumbling and complaining and tears were got over in these first few months. For "once he had got a start," as his nurse called it, never was there a happier little fellow. Everything came right to him, and the few clouds that now and then floated over his skies but made the suns.h.i.+ne seem the brighter.
And day by day the world grew prettier and pleasanter to him. It had been very pleasant to be carried out in his nurse's arms or wheeled along in his little carriage, but when it came to toddling on the nice firm sands on his own st.u.r.dy legs, and sometimes--when nurse would let him--going "kite kite close" to the playful waves, and then jumping back again when they "pertended," as he said, to wet his little feet--ah, that was too delightful! And almost more delightful still was it to pick up nice smooth stones on the beach and try how far he could throw them into the sea. The sea was _so_ pretty and kind, he thought. It was for a long time very difficult for him to believe that it could ever be angry and raging and wild, as he used to hear said, for of course on wet or stormy days little Ted never went down to the sh.o.r.e, but stayed at home in his own warm nursery.
There were pretty sh.e.l.ls and stones and seaweed to be found on this delightful sea-sh.o.r.e. Ted was too little to care much for such quiet business as gathering stones and sh.e.l.ls, but one day when he was walking with his mother she stopped so often to pick up and examine any that took her fancy, that at last Ted's curiosity was awakened.
"What is thoo doing?" he said gravely, as if not quite sure that his mother was behaving correctly, for _nurse_ always told him to "walk on straight, there's a good boy, Master Ted," and it was a little puzzling to understand that mammas might do what little boys must not. It was one of the puzzles which Ted found there were a good many of in the world, and which he had to think over a good deal in his own mind before it grew clear to him. "What is thoo doing?" he asked.
"I am looking for pretty stones to take home and keep," replied his mother.
"Pitty 'tones," repeated Ted, and then he said no more, but some new ideas had wakened in his baby mind.
Nurse noticed that he was quieter than usual that afternoon, for already Ted was a good deal of a chatterbox. But his eyes looked bright, and plainly he had some pleasant thought in his head. The next day was fine, and he went off with nurse for his walk. He looked a little anxious as they got to the turn of the road, or rather to the joining of two roads, one of which led to the sea, the other into country lanes.
"Thoo is doing to the sea?" he inquired.
"Yes, dear," nurse replied, and Ted's face cleared. When they got to the sh.o.r.e he trotted on quietly, but his eyes were very busy, busier even than usual. They looked about them in all directions, till at last they spied what they wanted, and for half a minute or so nurse did not notice that her little charge had left her side and was lagging behind.
"What are you about, Master Ted?" she said hastily, as glancing round she saw him stooping down--not that he had very far to stoop, poor little man--and struggling to lift some object at his feet.
"A 'tone," he cried, "a beauty big 'tone for Ted's muzzer," lifting in his arms a big round stone--one of the kind that as children we used to say had dropped from the moon--which by its nice round shape and speckledness had caught his eye. "Ted will cally it hisself."
And with a very red face, he lugged it manfully along.
"Let me help you with it, dear," said nurse.
But "No, zank thoo," he replied firmly each time that the offer was repeated. "Ted must cally it his own self."
And "cally" it he did, all the way. Nurse could only succeed in getting him to put it down now and then to rest a bit, as she said, for the stone was really so big a one that she was afraid of it seriously tiring his arms. More than once she pointed out prettier and smaller stones, and tried to suggest that his mother might like them quite as well, or better; but no. The bigness, the heaviness even, was its charm; to do something that cost him an effort for mother he felt vaguely was his wish; the "lamp of sacrifice," of _self_-sacrifice, had been lighted in his baby heart, never again to be extinguished.
And, oh, the happiness in that little heart when at last he reached his mother's room, still lugging the heavy stone, and laid it at her feet!
"Ted broughtened it for thoo," he exclaimed triumphantly. And mother was _so_ pleased! The stone took up its place at once on the mantelpiece as an ornament, and the wearied little man climbed up on to his mother's knee, with a look of such delight and satisfaction as is sweet to be seen on a childish face.
So Ted's education began. He was growing beyond the birds and the flowers already, though only a tiny man of three; and every day he found new things to wonder at, and admire, and ask questions about, and, unlike some small people of his age, he always listened to the answers.
After a while he found prettier presents to bring home to his mother than big stones. With the spring days the flowers came back, and Ted, who last year had been too little to notice them much, grew to like the other turning of the road almost better than that which led to the sea.
For down the lanes, hiding in among the hedges, or more boldly smiling up at him in the fields, he learnt to know the old friends that all happy children love so dearly.
One day he found some flowers that seemed to him prettier than any he had ever seen, and full of delight he trudged home with a baby bouquet of them in his little hot hands. It was getting past spring into summer now, and Ted felt a little tired by the time he and his nurse had reached the house, and he ran in as usual to find his mother and relate his adventures.
"Ted has broughtened some most beauty flowers," he eagerly cried, and his mother stooped down to kiss and thank him, even though she was busy talking to some ladies who had come to see her, and whom Ted in his hurry had hardly noticed. He glanced round at them now with curiosity and interest. He rather liked ladies to come to see his mother, only he would have liked it still better if they would have just let him stay quietly beside her, looking at them and listening to what they said, without noticing him. But that way of behaving would not have seemed kind, and as Ted grew older he understood this, and learnt that it was right to feel pleased at being spoken to and even kissed.
"How well Ted is looking," said one of the ladies to his mother. "He is growing quite a big, strong boy. And what pretty flowers he has brought you. Are you very fond of flowers, my little man?"
"Ses," said Ted, looking up in the lady's face.
"The wild flowers about here are very pretty," said another of the ladies.
"Very pretty," said his mother; "but it is curious, is it not, that there are no cowslips in this country? They are such favourites of mine.
I have such pleasant remembrances of them as a child."
She turned, for Ted was tugging gently at her sleeve. "What is towslips?" he asked.
"Pretty little yellow flowers, something like primroses," said his mother.
"Oh!" said Ted. Then nurse knocked at the door, and told him his tea was ready, and so he trotted off.
"Mother loves towslips," he said to himself two or three times over, till his nurse asked him what he was talking about.
"But there's no cowslips here," said nurse, when he had repeated it.
"No," said Ted; "but p'raps Ted could find some. Ted will go and look to-morrow with nursey."
"To-morrow's Sunday, Master Ted," said nurse; "I'll be going to church."
"What's church?" he asked.
"Church is everybody praying to G.o.d, all together in a big house. Don't you remember, Master Ted?"
"Oh ses, Ted 'members," he replied. "What's praying to 'Dod, nurse?"