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The wretched girl rushed up to her room, where she threw herself on her bed and gave way to some of the bitterest tears she had ever shed. All her indifference to Annie, all her real unkindness, all her ever-increasing dislike came back now to torture and hara.s.s her. She began to believe with the girls that Annie would be successful; she began dimly to acknowledge in her heart the strange power which this child possessed; she guessed that Annie would heap coals of fire on her head by bringing back her little sister. She hoped, she longed, she could almost have found it in her heart to pray that some one else, not Annie, might save little Nan.
For not yet had Hester made up her mind to confess the truth about Annie Forest. To confess the truth now meant humiliation in the eyes of the whole school. Even for Nan's sake she could not, she would not be great enough for this.
Sobbing on her bed, trembling from head to foot, in an agony of almost uncontrollable grief, she could not bring her proud and stubborn little heart to accept G.o.d's only way of peace. No, she hoped she might be able to influence Susan Drummond and induce her to confess, and if Annie was not cleared in that way, if she really saved little Nan, she would doubtless be restored to much of her lost favor in the school.
Hester had never been a favorite at Lavender House; but now her great trouble caused all the girls to speak to her kindly and considerately, and as she lay on her bed she presently heard a gentle step on the floor of her room--a cool little hand was laid tenderly on her forehead, and opening her swollen eyes, she met Cecil's loving gaze.
"There is no news yet, Hester," said Cecil; "but Mrs. Willis has just gone herself into Sefton, and will not lose an hour in getting further help. Mrs. Willis looks quite haggard. Of course she is very anxious both about Annie and Nan."
"Oh, Annie is safe enough," murmured Hester, burying her head in the bed-clothes.
"I don't know; Annie is very impulsive and very pretty; the gypsies may like to steal her too--of course she has gone straight to one of their encampments. Naturally Mrs. Willis is most anxious."
Hester pressed her hand to her throbbing head.
"We are all so sorry for you, dear," said Cecil gently.
"Thank you--being sorry for one does not do a great deal of good, does it?"
"I thought sympathy always did good," replied Cecil, looking puzzled.
"Thank you," said Hester again. She lay quite still for several minutes with her eyes closed. Her face looked intensely unhappy. Cecil was not easily repelled and she guessed only too surely that Hester's proud heart was suffering much. She was puzzled, however, how to approach her, and had almost made up her mind to go away and beg of kind-hearted Miss Danesbury to see if she could come and do something, when through the open window there came the shrill sweet laughter and the eager, high-pitched tones of some of the youngest children in the school. A strange quiver pa.s.sed over Hester's face at the sound; she sat up in bed, and gasped out in a half-strangled voice:
"Oh! I can't bear it--little Nan, little Nan! Cecil, I am very, very unhappy."
"I know it, darling," said Cecil, and she put her arms round the excited girl. "Oh, Hester! don't turn away from me; do let us be unhappy together."
"But you did not care for Nan."
"I did--we all loved the pretty darling."
"Suppose I never see her again?" said Hester half wildly. "Oh, Cecil! and mother left her to me! mother gave her to me to take care of, and to bring to her some day in heaven. Oh, little Nan, my pretty, my love, my sweet! I think I could better bear her being dead than this."
"You could, Hester," said Cecil, "if she was never to be found; but I don't think G.o.d will give you such a terrible punishment. I think little Nan will be restored to you. Let us ask G.o.d to do it, Hetty--let us kneel down now, we two little girls, and pray to Him with all our might."
"I can't pray; don't ask me," said Hester, turning her face away.
"Then I will."
"But not here, Cecil. Cecil, I am not good--I am not good enough to pray."
"We don't want to be good to pray," said Cecil. "We want perhaps to be unhappy--perhaps sorry; but if G.o.d waited just for goodness, I don't think He would get many prayers."
"Well, I am unhappy, but not sorry. No, no; don't ask me, I cannot pray."
CHAPTER XLIII.
SUSAN.
Mrs. Willis came back at a very late hour from Sefton. The police were confident that they must soon discover both children, but no tidings had yet been heard of either of them. Mrs. Willis ordered her girls to bed, and went herself to kiss Hester and give her a special "good-night." She was struck by the peculiarly unhappy, and even hardened, expression on the poor child's face, and felt that she did not half understand her.
In the middle of the night Hester awoke from a troubled dream. She awoke with a sharp cry, so sharp and intense in its sound that had any girl been awake in the next room she must have heard it. She felt that she could no longer remain close to that little empty cot. She suddenly remembered that Susan Drummond would be alone to-night: what time so good as the present for having a long talk with Susan and getting her to clear Annie? She slipped out of bed, put on her dressing-gown, and softly opening the door, ran down the pa.s.sage to Susan's room.
Susan was in bed, and fast asleep. Hester could see her face quite plainly in the moonlight, for Susan slept facing the window, and the blind was not drawn down.
Hester had some difficulty in awakening Miss Drummond, who, however, at last sat up in bed yawning prodigiously.
"What is the matter? Is that you, Hester Thornton? Have you got any news of little Nan? Has Annie come back?"
"No, they are both still away. Susy, I want to speak to you."
"Dear me! what for? must you speak in the middle of the night?"
"Yes, for I don't want any one else to know. Oh, Susan, please don't go to sleep."
"My dear, I won't, if I can help it. Do you mind throwing a little cold water over my face and head? There is a can by the bedside. I always keep one handy. Ah, thanks--now I am wide awake. I shall probably remain so for about two minutes. Can you get your say over in that time?"
"I wonder, Susan," said Hester, "if you have got any heart--but heart or not, I have just come here to-night to tell you that I have found you out. You are at the bottom of all this mischief about Annie Forest."
Susan had a most phlegmatic face, an utterly unemotional voice, and she now stared calmly at Hester and demanded to know what in the world she meant.
Hester felt her temper going, her self-control deserting her. Susan's apparent innocence and indifference drove her half frantic.
"Oh, you are mean," she said. "You pretend to be innocent, but you are the deepest and wickedest girl in the school. I tell you, Susan, I have found you out--you put that caricature of Mrs. Willis into Cecil's book; you changed Dora's theme. I don't know why you did it, nor how you did it, but you are the guilty person, and you have allowed the sin of it to remain on Annie's shoulders all this time. Oh, you are the very meanest girl I ever heard of!"
"Dear, dear!" said Susan, "I wish I had not asked you to throw cold water over my head and face, and allow myself to be made very wet and uncomfortable, just to be told I am the meanest girl you ever met. And pray what affair is this of yours? You certainly don't love Annie Forest."
"I don't, but I want justice to be done to her. Annie is very, very unhappy. Oh, Susy, won't you go and tell Mrs. Willis the truth?"
"Really, my dear Hester, I think you are a little mad. How long have you known all this about me, pray?"
"Oh, for some time; since--since the night the essay was changed."
"Ah, then, if what you state is true, you told Mrs. Willis a lie, for she distinctly asked you if you knew anything about the 'Muddy Stream,' and you said you didn't. I saw you--I remarked how very red you got when you plumped out that great lie! My dear, if I am the meanest and wickedest girl in the school, prove it--go, tell Mrs. Willis what you know. Now, if you will allow me, I will get back into the land of dreams."
Susan curled herself up once more in her bed, wrapped the bed-clothes tightly round her and was, to all appearance, oblivious of Hester's presence.
CHAPTER XLIV.
UNDER THE HEDGE.