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Sarah looked down at her belly, putting one hand up to her stomach. I could feel something moving inside me. As I peered through her eyes, I noticed a slight b.u.mp, and then I saw her belly move. She was pregnant!
Was that why she wanted to kill herself? Why in G.o.d's name would she want to do it while she was pregnant?
She opened the bottle of pills and peppered them into her hand, and then she took the bottle of water with the other. Oh, G.o.dashe was killing herself while I was stuck in her body!
I couldn't do anything about it. All I could do was speak to hera"through the mirror.
"Don't do this!" I said, staring into her eyes. I could see her pupils dilating as if she heard me. Did she hear me at this point?
"Sarah, come back!" I said to her.
I used all my might to force something to happen. I pushed inside her mind to snap her out of it. I could feel myself filling with strength as if water was rising within my own thoughts.
"Sarah, please!"
Through the friction I was causing in her mind, I was able to knock the pills out of her hands. It felt like a light dream, yet I was fully awake.
As I gazed into the mirror again, locked in a stare-down, I felt myself getting closer and closer into the mirror. My eyes were changing, and the yellow hint was coming back. I could feel myself peeling out of her body as if it was a wet-suit. Slowly, I came back, growing more and more into myself as her body fell to the ground. She knocked her head on the sink.
I was in my demon form. Sarah had been knocked unconscious from my exorcism as her body lay on the cold, hard tiles of the bathroom floor. She hit her head hard and was bleeding. Quickly, I picked her up and placed her on the bed.
I didn't know what else to do. I was still in shock that this had happened. Delmara said I would know when it would happen, but I didn't think it would be like this.
I took a towel from the bathroom and wrapped it around her head. There was only one thing I could think ofa"to call for help, but who?
I picked up the phone and dialed the only number that would save Sarah; 9-1-1.
Leaving an anonymous message to the police, I told the dispatcher I had seen a disturbance from across the street. I gave out Jesse's address and hung up. I didn't want them tracing the call back to the place of the accident as more questions would rise.
Everything happened so fast, I forgot to make sure nothing was out of place. Soon the police would come and search the house for what happened at the scene. Only a few seconds had pa.s.sed. Again I froze. It was like someone knocked the wind out of me. I'd lost some strength from the struggle to save her from downing the pills, swooping her up so fast, and I hadn't realized it took almost everything out of me.
After knowing Sarah was safe, I decided to walk out before the ambulance arrived. Everything appeared to be in slow motion. My insides were burning, yet I felt freezing on the outside. Come on, Charlene, you have to get out of here.
Using all my might, I limbered down the steps and out the back door.
Chapter Twelve.
As I flew through the night, I came into Traverse City, landing safely before the sunrise. I thought of only one place to go since I wasn't quite home yet. With my body changing and still drained from what happened, I had to hide. I remembered there was an old abandoned clothing factory near my place, which closed a few months ago. Walking through the alleyways, I picked through the dumpsters for anything I could find to wear. Once my body formed back in its natural shape, I would be naked. I had to find something to cover myself.
As I crawled into the dumpster, I rummaged through the garage bags. I was lucky to find an old torn-up T-s.h.i.+rt and towel. Digging further down, trying not to vomit from the smells, I discovered some chewed-up flip-flops.
I put on the s.h.i.+rt and wrapped the towel around my waist. After I slipped on the flip-flops, I crawled out of the dumpster and left.
I had miles to go before I was able to reach my place, so I walked the streets again, like I did years ago. I remembered my old life and living in alleyways like this. Although I never dabbled in drugs, the pain from when I lived with my mother and Adam was unbearable. There were so many things I wanted to tell my mother about, but I kept it hidden.
I was back in my old neighborhood, walking across the street to the church. Its blood-colored bricks and rainbow windows were bleeding different pictures of pain. The wooden doors, carved in ornate patterns of curled leaves, opened heavily with my firm grip on the steel handle as I stood there gazing inside the building. The long, lacquered pews stretched from one wall to another, and as I slipped into one of them I picked up a leather-covered book.
I remembered, when I was in school, the nuns would command us to sing to the man hanging and wasting away on rotted lumber. I remembered how Jesus looked then. His bones protruded as His dirt-stained flesh dripped off the cross. I was ashamed of myself for thinking how beautiful He was, suffering so elegantly with His hands and feet crushed from the nails. I'd gaze at the light reflecting off His face. I had never prayed so hard for Him to glance my way.
Looking at Him now, several years later, my feelings still remained the same. I wanted Jesus to come save me like I was taught. I was raised Catholic, yet I committed a sin against G.o.d. They never taught us what would actually happen if you did. No one ever truly knew what G.o.d had planned after you decided to break the greatest commandment of all: Thou shall not kill.
I was so wrapped up, pleading to the statue on the cross, bowing my head down with my fists clasped tight, I hadn't noticed the priest there at the altar.
He walked over to me and tapped me on the shoulder. "Excuse me, miss, can I help you with something?"
"Oh, I am so sorry," I said, wiping the sweat off my face. Thank G.o.d I hadn't been crying or my face would be covered in white ooze. I hadn't the strength to cry.
"It's perfectly fine, my child. Would you like to talk about it? I have some time before Ma.s.s starts."
"I don't know where to begin, Father."
He took a seat in the pew ahead of me and pulled a rosary from his pocket.
"Here, you need this more than I do. Pray to Him, my child."
He handed me the thin rosary and told me again that it would help. "You know He will always be with you. Some things in life are hard to take. Turning to Jesus is a good sign. You are making the first step in the right direction."
"Thank you, Father."
"I am here any time you need to talk. The House of G.o.d will never close the doors on you."
I got up, thanked the Father again and left.
I got back to my place around eight in the morning. I stepped inside, took a shower, changed my clothes and called work.
"Lucky's Diner. How may I help you?"
"Peggy?"
"Yes?"
"It's me; Charlene. Can I talk to Jan?"
"Sure, Charlene. Hold on while I get her for you."
She put me on hold for a few minutes, and then Jan picked up the line.
"This is Janeta"
"Jan, I can't come into work today. I'm sick." I knew in my heart that wasn't a lie. I was sick. I didn't know what was happening to me anymore. Slowly but surely I was losing control of my life, whatever life I had left.
"Oh, Charlene, I wish you would talk to me. I feel for you. After that incident with your father, that had to be traumatic."
"Yes, it truly was. I still don't know if I will ever contact him again."
"Don't worry. I won't pressure you about your job. It's here waiting for you when you come back. Take all the time you need."
"Jan, you're a sweetheart. Thank you so much."
Shortly after that we ended the call. I was relieved she was so compa.s.sionate about my problems, even though she didn't really know what was going on. She didn't pressure me to find out either. When I was first hired, I told her about my mental illness and that I had spent time in the hospital. I had really nothing else to go by. My amnesia was still prevalent at the time. I didn't even know who I was. Slowly, the memories of my old life came back to me.
After I got off the phone with Jan, I sat down and opened a book to read. There was a knock at the door.
"Charlene, it's David. Can I talk to you?" he asked through the door.
"Yeah, just a minute," I yelled out.
I placed the book down and answered the door.
"I heard about the break-in. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Nothing was taken."
"Well, you have nothing to take," he said, laughing.
"Yeah, that's right."
"I am glad you are okay. I would be devastated if something happened to you."
The statement struck me by surprise. I mean, I was only his neighbor and not anyone really special. I didn't know I meant that much to him. I looked at him with a different aspect this time. He was really a loving person and cared for me more than I realized. He was a friend to me, and I liked that. I was starting to have mixed feelings about him.
"Ummayeah. I am glad nothing really bad happened. Glad they didn't destroy your building either. It could have been worse, I guess." There was silence.
He looked around the room and then out the window.
"You know what you need?"
"What?"
"Something to spruce up this place. Your walls are too bare," he said as he headed out the door and into the hallway.
"What are you doing?" I called out to him.
"Be right back! I wanna give you something."
I heard him run downstairs to his apartment as I stood there for a few minutes, wondering what he was up to. He came back with a painting in his hands. As he turned it around, I was in shock. It was of an angel.
"Here, this is one of Jane's paintings. Let's put it to good use. She always believed in angels, why I don't knowa" his voice trailed off as he gazed at the picture.
"Sure you wanna give this up? It is truly a beautiful piece."
"Oh, yeah. She would have wanted it that way. Besides, since I've been cleaning I feel better letting go of things."
"It's good to let go. I need to learn how to do that myself."
I held in my shock as I stood there staring at the painting. It was indeed a painting of an angela"a painting strikingly familiar to Delmara.
Chapter Thirteen.
A few days had pa.s.sed as all the turmoil continued on, yet something changed in me entirely. I felt like I was becoming more human, as I hadn't changed into my demon form for a while. That's when it happened. I checked the clocka"7:17 a.m. It had been a full twenty-four hours since I had changed. Was I human again? In the pit of my stomach, I felt cramping pain. I ran to the bathroom and starting puking out a metal-type liquid. As I curled up in the fetal position, I noticed blue blood seeping out between my legs. It felt like I was dying all over again, but in a more painful way.
After lying there a few moments, I saw a light spread through the ceiling as the walls opened up. I began to float upward and into the light. Here it was, I thought. It was happening at that very moment. I traveled the tunnel of light and heard a voice.
"Charlene, dear child, come. I must speak with you."
It was Delmara. She was floating over me, carrying me with her wings.
"Your annual has arrived."
I didn't know how to react. I couldn't move as she held me, yet I could feel soothing thoughts running through my mind like a cool breeze. Scared and confused, yet trusting Delmara, I finally let go.
She brought me to a place I had never been to before. It was as if G.o.d had created yet another realm.
I lay there on a bed of soft moss, smelling the scent of magnolia again. I knew Delmara was there somewhere, even though I couldn't see her.
I was in a forest of some sort. The leaves were thick with green fur and were soft and damp to the touch.
As I walked through the mist I could see the stars, yet it was a clear, blue day. They peered through the sky as gla.s.s-like shards. Everything was bright, and rainbows formed in the corners of my eyes. Was I dreaming again? Where was I?
"The time has come," Delmara said as she came into view. She held up her hands, motioning the winds to rise. Swirling leaves of pastel colors flew in the air. I floated there in mid-air.
"You have gone through the first phase of your trial. Your annual is now complete."
The winds continued to swirl as I was carried further and further away.
"Wait, I don't understand. Am I dead?"
My body was forced back through the tunnel of light again as I heard Delmara whisper, "Time for phase two."
I woke up on the bathroom floor, still feeling nauseous and uncomfortable, but the pain was tolerable. I got up and checked between my legs again. The blue blood still came down, but in slow drops. Great; my luck to have a demon period now. Just when I thought I was turning human again, it hit me in a different way. I still had so many unanswered questions, and Delmara wasn't much help.