I Was Reincarnated Chapter 57

Uneasiness …….Complete About-Face

Rune side

I was delivering the food that Rona had made

The people suddenly increased all at once, so it was impossible for just the women in the garden to handle it so Rona lent a hand it seems

Since he likes cooking, making it was no trouble

However, since delivering it all was quite a lot of work, I also lent a hand

I don't understand things like politics like Dea does, and I can't make food like Rona does

I volunteered to teach the rules, but that was soon finished

So I was lending a hand delivering food as well

Compared to the other two, the jobs that I can do are too few

Rau is still a child so I think it's fine for her to be playing, but the adult me playing would make me feel guilty

Having so much free time without anything to do, it's unpleasant with only me doing nothing

Refusing s.h.i.+n-sama's invitation to go for a stroll, I run around the town

Like that, one day, I saw s.h.i.+n-sama, who had set out for a stroll, return

"s.h.i.+n-sama, welcome back"

Although I have no idea where he went, s.h.i.+n-sama's figure walking was beautiful

His fascinatingly glossy hair was swaying in the breeze

"…..I'm going to sleep for a bit so don't wake me"

(Eh-!?)

Those words, and s.h.i.+n-sama's expression surprised me

(He's going to sleep for a bit again?)

When I can't see s.h.i.+n-sama's figure I get lonely

Moreover—

The eyes he looked at me with were cold

Without his usual gentle looking expression he was expressionless, it was a bit scary

(……Why?)

I hurried to deliver the food and rushed back to the castle

(Have I, angered s.h.i.+n-sama again?)

I don't like it when s.h.i.+n-sama is angry with me

I don't think he's just in a bad mood

I mean, up to now even if he was in a bad mood, he didn't look at me with such a cold gaze

He would gently embrace me and pat my head

But even so, I can't sense such feelings from today's s.h.i.+n-sama

I can't sense any gentleness

"s.h.i.+n-sama?"

I tried to open the door, but it's locked and won't open

Although he said not to wake him, I knocked at the door

"s.h.i.+n-sama, I want to talk. Please open [the door]"

After repeatedly knocking, I tried turning the handle and I could, the door also opened

"…..What?"

s.h.i.+n-sama's on the bed

With a feeling of being unwilling to get up, his lower half remained in bed

As I thought, he's different from the usual s.h.i.+n-sama

The expressionless s.h.i.+n-sama, a completely chilling feeling

I froze in fear

However, my legs moved towards the bedside

"….U,umm…I, did I do something?"

s.h.i.+n-sama looked at me as I spoke those words

I got the feeling that those jet black eyes seemed to be saying 'you don't understand?'

"Not especially"

In fact he only said such to me

"…Ho,however—"

"…..Have you done anything that would have made me angry?"

Before I realized, I was pushed down on the bed

I shook my head in a panic

"I see, go ahead and return"

He released me and laid down just like that

…….he turned his back to me

If he's not angry with me, then this—

(…….I'm already, something unnecessary to him?)

Like this I feel like I'm being rejected

(Why?)

Is it because I didn't accompany him on his stroll?

Or is he just tired of me?

…….perhaps he has a person he likes?

(I don't want that!)

Such a thing, I don't want!

"Sh,in,sama….."

My voice is shaking

Being rejected by the person you like, is the most bitter feeling

Even though he's right next to me, with just his back facing me he feels far away

"……..s.h.i.+n-sama"

"………What?"

When I call out once again, s.h.i.+n-sama finally responded

However, his back continued to face me

He doesn't even turn his head

"s.h.i.+n-sama….let me stay beside you"

I involuntarily start shedding tears

"……aren't you going to go to town to help out?"

Certainly, I said such to s.h.i.+n-sama before

However, now I want to stay beside him

"………I said I would be sleeping for a bit didn't I?"

s.h.i.+n-sama who raised himself up again and held me who was beside him

And then, like that, he walked [carrying me]

He dropped me off outside the room and behind me the door closed and I could hear the sound of the lock turning

(I was thrown out…….?)

Even though up to now he has never done such a thing…..!

"I don't want-! s.h.i.+n-sama…..I'll do anything so-! Let me in!!"

I pounded on the door while crying

Dea came at that exact time, seemingly because he had things s.h.i.+n-sama had to do, although he made a surprised expression I didn't have the s.p.a.ce to pay him any attention

"Don't hate me. Don't …….throw me away"

I can only beg

For s.h.i.+n-sama, since I'm a guy he can throw away at any time

Being hated be s.h.i.+n-sama, is scarier than anything else

If I'm thrown away, I don't feel like living anymore

Although I was told I am perpetually young [now] it still doesn't feel real

However, s.h.i.+n-sama wouldn't tell me a lie, and if her threw me away I'd live in a state of continuous agony

No matter how painful I would not be able to even die

An unaging slave wouldn't be killed

Forever being used, worked to the bone

Me being able to live in peace, is all because s.h.i.+n-sama is there

Being under absolute protection, is all because I receive his protection

"s.h.i.+n-sama, forgive me….. Without s.h.i.+n-sama, I, can't live…"

I collapse, sitting down without any power

There is nothing that I can do

If I'm thrown away, it's all over

There is nothing I can do to stop it

Since I can do nothing

I feel like Dea is saying something, but it all just pa.s.ses over me

The door opens again, and s.h.i.+n-sama's figure appears

"-s.h.i.+n-sama……"

I unconsciously reach out my hand

"Dea, do you have some business?"

However, without taking my hand, s.h.i.+n-sama calls out to Dea

"Y,yes…."

He shows him some papers while paying attention to me

Stamping those with some seal, he returns them to Dea

"I'm going to sleep for a bit so don't wake me. Since there's a barrier up in the sky, and I've stocked up on quite a bit of food, you all should be fine, right?"

"Eh-!? Y,yes. If anything happens I'll come report"

"Aa"

"……Well then, excuse me"

He [Dea] glanced at me for a moment, but even so still left seeming busy

While I dazedly stared at that back—

"Rune"

I turned my head after hearing my name called, s.h.i.+n-sama was right before my eyes and perhaps in order to match my eye level, he was crouching down

"s.h.i.+n-sama……"

While I was relieved that the hand I stretched out to s.h.i.+n-sama was not shaken off I clung to him

"I've said it many times before, right? I won't throw Rune away. I have no intention of releasing you"

"Fue~…..s.h.i.+n-samaa~"

s.h.i.+n-sama held me in his arms as I burst into tears and like that we went into the room

Only in front of s.h.i.+n-sama

Do I cry like this

"Rune is just as negative as ever"

I don't get what that 'nega- such and such' means, but I sigh in relief as he pats my head

I can only feel at ease like this

"It's my bad, I didn't mean to make you cry so much"

I shake my head as he hugs me tightly

It's fine as long as s.h.i.+n-sama isn't angry

As long as s.h.i.+n-sama's not throwing me away, just that's enough

"….Rune, don't do anything. You doing things makes me feel irritated"

"Eh……?"

I looked up at s.h.i.+n-sama while feeling confused from his words

"When Rune doesn't depend on me I feel irritated. When Rune is being independent I feel irritated. Rely on only me, just stay by my side, even though it would be fine for you to just disappear in me……"

(Eh? He's saying…..)

What does he mean?

"Even though for Rau I don't think things like this"

While tightly hugging me he pats my head

s.h.i.+n-sama's face isn't expressionless anymore

While tightly hugging me, s.h.i.+n-sama pat my head for a while

Suddenly he released my body

(Eh-? Wh, wha…….?)

"…….I see, this is……"

He muttered while looking at me, but I don't understand what he means

"Since it's my first time, I didn't realize it"

When I thought he would hold me, he sat me down on the bed

When he touched my collar, he moved the embedded three magic stones in the collar to a necklace

The collar that is proof I'm a slave

Although I'm not a slave, I was told to wear it as protection, but even so……

As I was confused, s.h.i.+n-sama took me left hand

(….A ring?)

On my ring finger, there was a dark stone ring

Is it perhaps another magic stone?

"…….s.h.i.+n-sama?"

I don't understand the meaning of s.h.i.+n-sama's actions

"…..Aa, in this world, there's no such custom, huh"

By saying such, does that mean in s.h.i.+n-sama's previous world there was a custom like this?

"This is a wedding ring"

"…….Eh?………Eeh-!?"

(we,wedding!?)

What is this……..

Eh?

With who?

"Calm down…… somehow, it seems that I like Rune. that's why I was feeling so irritated"

Although he pats my head, I can't calm down

I mean, s.h.i.+n-sama, said that he liked me

I can't believe it

However, I believe s.h.i.+n-sama

Although I understand it's a contradiction, I can't reconcile it

"Won't you become my wife?"

When I hear it, tears come out

"…….am I fine?"

"If it's not Rune it's no good"

I repeatedly nod

Words won't come out

Even though just a moment ago I thought that he probably hated me, now my feelings can't catch up

Even though I thought I would probably be thrown away

"Rune doesn't need to do anything, just stay by my side. Don't make me feel uneasy. Don't unsettle me"

Within s.h.i.+n-sama's arms, I repeatedly nodded

I can only nod

Nothing but tears are coming out, my words won't come out

"……s.h.i.+n,sama"

The words that can finally escape, shake terribly

"You don't need 'sama' call me 's.h.i.+n'"

He said it as if it were a privilege only for me

"Shall I tell you my name, I am 's.h.i.+nya'……..rather, would my current name be better. Since it's long then perhaps just the beginning? My name is 's.h.i.+rikaviris'"

"s.h.i.+rikaviris?"

He even told me his name

Even though he should be hiding his name since there's something like subordination

Though someone that could subordinate s.h.i.+n-sama probably doesn't exist

"I'll only tell it to Rune. So, it's fine when it's just the two of us, right? Call me 's.h.i.+n' normally"

"……s.h.i.+,n"

Not attaching 'sama' feels unfamiliar and difficult to say

However, I was happy to receive special treatment and after calling his name like that once again he told me I was cute

And then like that, we embraced

Author's note commenting on s.h.i.+n's love level reaching one, beginners in love s.h.i.+n and Rune but Rune is easily sway by s.h.i.+n, s.h.i.+n's abnormality and rushed method of marriage is……

TN: Man, this is like the definition of an unhealthy relations.h.i.+p, keeping one completely dependent on the other and Rune seems to have no idea but s.h.i.+n has some self-awareness of it…….

….Well, it's [fictional] love so it's okay, but I seriously wonder about asian people and their tolerance for those super overbearing and controlling men

Only two chapters this week, my three chapters a week streak only lasted a month….