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"You have neuralgia?" she asked with quick alarm.
"No: it is a duller pain than that. It is a sort of congestion caused by keeping secrets from you."
"Secrets!" Her voice was quite unsuspicious. "You could not keep them long."
He sat up and looked at her, and she saw that there was pain in his eyes.
"I have been keeping secrets from you all our wedded life together, Mary."
She uttered a little sound of dismay--of grief. Then she said, with an a.s.sumption of an easy manner:
"And if you have, Shawn, well--they must be things I had no right to know. There are reticences I can respect. Other people's secrets might be involved...."
"That was it," he said eagerly. "There was another person's secret involved. I kept it back when it would have rested my heart to tell you."
"I shall not ask you to tell me now unless the time has come to tell.
I can trust you, Shawn."
"The time may have come," he answered, drawing down her caressing hand to kiss it. "Another man might have told it to win you the more completely, Mary. He might have found justification for betraying his friend. I thought at one time you must have cared for Terence Comerford and not for me. It was the strangest thing in the world that you should have cared for me. Terence was so splendid, so big, so handsome and pleasant with every one. How could you have preferred me before him? And I knew he wasn't fit for you, Mary. I knew there was another girl,--yet I held my peace. It tortured me, to keep silence.
And there was the other girl to be thought of. He owed reparation to the other girl. But his mother had her heart set on you for a daughter-in-law. I believe he would have done the right thing if he had lived,--in spite of all it would have meant to his mother. He had a good heart,--but--oh, my G.o.d!--he should not have lifted his eyes to you when there was that other poor girl!"
He spoke in a voice as though he were being tortured, and her caressing hand felt the cold sweat ooze out on his forehead. How sensitive he was! How he grieved for his friend after all those years!
"He did not really lift his eyes to me as you say," she said. "His mother wanted it. He never did. A woman is not deceived."
"But you cared for him--to some extent?" he asked jealously.
"I never cared for any man but one," she answered. "I used to think you would never ask me. Perhaps you never would have only that I came to you when you were so broken down after your illness; and you had not strength enough to resist me."
She finished with a certain pathetic gaiety. With all his deep love for her she had not brought him joyfulness. Many people had noticed it. Her own well-spring of Joy had never run dry. It had survived even his sadness, and had made the house bright for their one child, but there had been moments, hours, when she had felt oddly exhausted, as though she had to bear a double strain of living.
"You saved me from utter despair,--'an angel beautiful and bright.'
That is what you seemed to me when you showed me your exquisite pity."
"Poor Terence!" she said softly. "Do you know, Shawn, I believe he was often on the edge of telling me his secret. Over and over again he began and was interrupted, or he drew back."
"Hardly, Mary. Men do not tell such things to the ladies of their family."
"Oh!" She coloured like a girl. "It was,--that. I thought it was ...
a lady ... some one he knew in Dublin perhaps."
"It was a girl in Killesky. Her grandmother kept a little public-house. She looked like an old Gipsy-Queen, the grandmother.
And the girl--the girl was like a dark rose. All the men in the county raved about her--the gentlemen, I mean. It was extraordinary how many roads led through Killesky. The girl was as modest as she was beautiful. Terence was mad about her. He knocked down a Connaught Ranger man who made a joke about her. That last leave--before he was killed--he was never out of the place. She had been at a convent school--the old woman had brought her up well--and she used to go on visits to school friends in Dublin. Terence told me he met her in Dublin when we were at the Royal Barracks. I implored him to let her alone, but he was angry and told me to mind my own business. That last time it was more serious. Poor little Bridyeen! I told him he ought to marry her. I think he knew it. It made him short-tempered with me.
But ... I hope ... I hope...--" the strange anguish came back to his voice--"that he would have married her."
"I remember now," Lady O'Gara said. "I remember the girl. Aunt Grace thought very well of her; she told the old woman she ought not to have Bridyeen serving in the bar. She was a beautiful little creature, like a moss rosebud, such dark hair and the beautiful colour and the ardent look in her eyes. Old Mrs. Dowd answered Aunt Grace with a haughtiness equal to her own. Aunt Grace was very angry: she said the old woman was insolent. I did not learn exactly what Mrs. Dowd had said, but I gathered that she said she knew how to keep her girl as well as Aunt Grace did."
"I sometimes thought the old woman was ambitious," Sir Shawn went on, dreamily. "She used to watch Bridyeen while all those fellows were hanging about her and paying her compliments. I have sometimes thought she meant Bridyeen to marry a gentleman. Several were infatuated enough for that. The old woman was always about watching and listening. I don't think any of them was ever rude to the little girl.
She was so innocent to look at. If any man had forgotten himself so far he would have had to answer to the others."
"What became of them--afterwards? Killesky seldom came in my path. I did not know that the picturesque old woman and the little granddaughter had gone till after we were married, when I drove that way and saw the garish new shop going up.
"It was like the old woman to carry off poor Bridyeen from all the scandal and the talk. You remember how ill I was. I thought that as soon as I was well enough I would go and see them--the old woman and the poor child. I would have done what I could. They were gone. No one knew what had become of them. They had gone away quietly and mysteriously. The little place was shut up one morning. You remember how pretty it was, the little thatched house behind its long garden.
They had gone to America. Fortunately the people had not begun to talk."
"That poor little thing!" Lady O'Gara said softly. "She looked as shy as a fawn. I wonder what became of her."
"Don't you understand, Mary? She has come back. She is ... Mrs. Wade."
"Oh! She married then? Of course you would want to be kind to her. I suppose she is a widow!"
"I don't think she married. I don't know what brings her back here, unless it is the desire to return which afflicts the Irish wherever they go. She has fixed herself in such a lonely spot. After all, she is my tenant. It is my business to see that she wants for nothing. I recognized her one night I came that way--when I was late and had to take that road. I saw her through the unshuttered window with a strong light on her face. I went back there in daylight and came upon her drawing water from the well. She was frightened at first, but afterwards she seemed glad to see me. She is very lonely. No one goes to see her but Mrs. Horridge,--a good creature--but Bridyeen is a natural lady. I must not go there again though she is a grey-haired woman older than her years--it was strange that I recognized her after twenty years; there are beasts who will talk."
"I shall come with you, Shawn," said Lady O'Gara. "That will be the best way to prevent their talking."
CHAPTER X
MRS. WADE
A friends.h.i.+p had sprung up between Mrs. Horridge and Mrs. Wade, as Sir Shawn had said--a curious friends.h.i.+p, not altogether equal, for Mrs.
Wade had a certain amount of education and was curiously refined--America had not altered her even to the extent of affecting her speech; and that was a very exceptional thing, for the returned Americans usually came with a speech altered out of all recognition.
When Lady O'Gara came into the little sitting-room at the cottage, having knocked with her knuckles and obtained no answer, she found Susan Horridge there. Susan stood up, making a little dip, took the boy's garment she had been mending and went away, while Mrs. Wade received her visitor with a curious air of equality. It was not such an equality as she might have learnt in the United States. There was nothing a.s.sertive about it. It was quite unconscious.
She seemed profoundly agitated by Lady O'Gara's visit, her colour coming and going, her eyes dilated. She had put out a hand as Susan Horridge went away, almost as though she would have detained her by force.
"Please forgive my coming in like this," Lady O'Gara said. "I was knocking for some time, but you did not hear me. My husband, Sir Shawn O'Gara, has told me about his tenant, and I thought I would like to come and see you."
"Thank you very much, Lady O'Gara. I am sorry you had to wait at the door. Won't you sit down?"
"May I sit here? I don't like facing the light. My eyes are not over-strong."
"Dear me. They look so beautiful too."
The nave compliment seemed to ease the strain in the situation. Lady O'Gara laughed. She had sometimes said that she laughed when she felt like to die with trouble. People had taken it for an exaggerated statement. What cause could Mary O'Gara have to feel like dying with trouble? Even though Shawn O'Gara was a melancholy gentleman, Mary seemed very well able to enjoy life.
"How kind of you!" she said merrily. "I might return the compliment.
What a pretty place you have made of this!"
"I brought a few little things with me. I knew nothing was to be bought here. And the things I found here already were good."
"It is a damp place down here under the trees. Now that you have made it so pretty it would be hard to leave it. Else I should suggest another cottage. There is a nice dry one on the upper road."
"Oh! I shouldn't think of leaving this," Mrs. Wade said, nervously.
Still her colour kept coming and going. America had not yellowed her as it usually had the _revenants_. Her dark skin was smooth and richly coloured: her eyes soft and still brilliant. Only the greying of her hair told that she was well on towards middle age.