How to Be a Demon King for Dummies Chapter 3 Part3

Last part from chapter 3. Yay, I almost cannot finish this in time. School work is pouring down mercilessly. With 3 projects and a big senior project. I am so dead if I don’t finish the senior project I won’t be able to graduate. Ahhhhh, why did I chose to do image processing?! Why can’t I do something simple like an application or website?

Anyway, enjoy the end of chapter 3! 

The way back. 

The head villager with a very sullen face ordered his little ginseng thing to carry me back following Alicia. The handsome mechanic doll is also following quietly. And the beautiful princess is walking while laughing about what happened to me.

“You bleed from your little toe? Archer, you’re a pathetic demon king. Hahaha”

You don’t have to remind me. I know that.

So, I who is being carried back got two mechanic dolls back with me. One is for the hero and one is for me.

Sounds like five-year-old getting toys from going shopping with his parents. Also, a five-year-old with a very thickly wrapped little toe. Hey wait, What are you taking my picture for? What? You’ll publish it in the newspaper that the demon king is working hard for his citizens till he was injured? That’s unnecessary&h.e.l.lip; Stop it. I’m embarra.s.sed ah.

Two days later, A picture of my little toe got on the front page of the Damon News. What? You haven’t read wrong. My little toe picture, the whole page is just the little toe that was wrapped thickly like it is swollen. The picture is enlarged till everyone can even see every pores on my toe, you can even see the nail dirt.

Something like this, should I be happy that I don’t have to post me normal run of the mill face on the newspaper or should I be sad that my face is super normal and run of the mill that they cropped it out leaving only the little toe? Boohoo. I should drink the growth accelerator, bathe, wash my hair, and make a handsome um beautiful face all the time so that when they want to take a picture, my face will not be cropped out again.

Haaa&h.e.l.lip; My castle. Leaving you for so many days, I am finally back. And what the h.e.l.l is this? There’s crab punch and bull’s horn hole every where on the wall. So the argument between Chancellor crab and Chancellor bull didn’t go so well huh. And should I find someone to fix this wall or just leave it there? Hmmm&h.e.l.lip; it looks interesting once you look at it long enough.

“Archer your majesty, you sure are very stingy.” The smiley demon grumbled when I said to just leave the wall like that. Huhu&h.e.l.lip;. of course, I still have to save up for the meeting tables that Alicia slice every week. Just these measly cracks on the wall are insignificant.

“No wait, I should be asking for repayment on this property damage from them. Can you send the bill to the undersea mansion and the mountain mansion? Tell them that they need to pay up for this.” I ordered the other smiley demon who walked towards me and staring at my little toe with knitted brows. He is the one responsible for my accounts and insurance. The treatment fee was expensive because I am weak to holy attribute now, it’s not like I used some of it or anything. Please don’t glare at me like that with those eyes.

The me, who is hopping back from dealing with the financial stuffs for the journey, am now busy again trying to find a place for the handsome mechanic doll that I dragged back from the village. I was filling in the doc.u.ments when I suddenly remembered that I forgot something&h.e.l.lip;.

“What’s your name?” I asked the one sitting up straight on the bed side. He looked at me silently and shook his head a little. With no choice, I grab the name tag around his collar and tried to figure out what is said.. “Luluvary Albeya De Shreutaya” I tried to p.r.o.nounce his name blindly. Don’t know if what I said is right or not, but I know that this name is super hard to say. A little spoil, he told me later on that I p.r.o.nounce everything wrong and that name tag does not even have his name on it. “Lulu&h.e.l.lip; No no. Lual&h.e.l.lip; Sounds funny. Alshay&h.e.l.lip; Maybe. Hmmm&h.e.l.lip; Lushay it is then.”

I took the liberty to shorten his name. Just think if I don’t shorten it, when they announce my my and t.i.tle with Alicia&h.e.l.lip; Aliciara and has to add in another long name of his those heroes will have a very hard time with it. Those heroes have a goldfish brain that can’t remember anything long, they might call me something weird if I add in the name burden from Lushay more. There was one hero, already ran back from Alicia’s threat, said my name as ‘The demon king of the Gaga solo king’ . I was very angry at it and shouted my t.i.tle back at him that ‘My name is Archer! The great demon king!’

After Alicia kicked him back, the next second I was strike by my old nemesis in the top of my head. It’s the first time I was strike accurately. It was an experience I would never forget when my long silky hair as a demon king was shocked into a broom and when the growth accelerate potion effect is down, my messy bird nest hair became a steel wool. My hair was pulled and pulled by the smiley demon face to straighten it till I almost got a new hair style of plain bald.

“Lushay&h.e.l.lip;” He repeated my word. Then he smiled at me who is covering my hair with fright.

That was his first smile that I saw.

“So you will be the left hand and, while I am the right hand man.”

Alicia’s voice sounded out suddenly. What the heck are you saying. No, I didn’t ask the right question. Where the heck did you popped out from!? My heart almost stopped beating ya know!

Lushay nodded instead of saying it. You guys&h.e.l.lip; No Alicia, why didn’t you even ask for my thoughts who is the one in the middle of you all?

“The silver come Aliciara and the Black Shooting star not right not right. Maybe you should be the Black hawk Lushay&h.e.l.lip; Hmmm not bad” She nodded as she agrees with herself. I can only sigh with a heavy heart and tears.

Whatever&h.e.l.lip; You won’t even listen to me even if I say it. Hahah.

 After that, the demon king Archer has another loyal follower, a handsome man with deep discernment &h.e.l.lip; and a lot of other compliments. I led him for his debut to the public by stealing the legendary millennial ice shave from the House of Lords of Rosalind State. No no, the one who wants to eat it is Alicia. What? You don’t like the Lord’s face so you just want to bully him? Then why did you complicate me into this?! Why does a demon king has to steal ice shave?!

Just imagine my demon king image as I stand there looking beautiful laughing haha with beauty, but my hand is holding an ice shave! How does the whole thing fit with each other?!

It’s a good thing that the very thick catalog describing my personality has a part that said that I have a weird palate. That is why, going out to steal the legendary millennium ice shave is still tolerable. I also investigated beforehand that the legendary millennium ice shave does not contain anything holy in it or else you would have seen a big news update where the demon king died from ice shave flewing on him. That would be more ugly than dying from blood lost at the little toe. *Sigh*

But the person who is most pitiful would have to be the hero. He was on his way to slay me that was in the dark castle, but then he got the news that I was at his home town, so he had to turn around, but he wasted a lot of time getting back. When he arrived at Roseline again, I was back at my castle having a face ma.s.sage and exhausted from the journey. So the hero is back to square one again haha. Am I delaying the hero’s time to defeat me? Alicia~! Come here and explain everything. Stop enjoying that ice shave, it’s just ice and syrup what is there to be legendary about?!

“Hmmmm&h.e.l.lip; So good. Hm? Why you need to go out yourself to do these kind of things?” She said with a calm expression “How long do You think my love&h.e.l.lip; The hero needs to come and defeat you?”

“Ah mostly around one to two years. But you delayed that further” I complained.

“How much can you appear before him?” She pointed her spoon at me.

I thought about it a bit “around five to six times”

“See? You can only appear five to six times in two years time. The hero and the people will definitely forget about you. You have to go out and do something bad once in a while so they don’t forget your existence, then send other small demons to do the rest.”

What you said is true. Hope this does not violates the vow. But if it does, the sky would have burned me extra crispy by now. That is why I am not in the wrong!

“But why do I have to steal ice shave? Why can’t I do something more cla.s.sy than this?”

She smiled sweetly at me “Even if you don’t do anything, people will still call you evil. No matter if you steal underwear or ice shave it doesn’t matter.”

It does matter! If I steal underwear at least I get to choose my victim as a beautiful girl and the underwear I still will be my collection. The ice shave I stole, only you get to eat it and what about me?! Boohoo what am I rambling on about anyway. 

“Plus” she waved her silver spoon in the air ignoring me who is covering my face crying. “I got a chance to kick that priest out of his party and insert the doll”

I knew about this later but when I was out stealing the ice shave, Alicia went to the priest house and threaten his family as Aliciara to call the priest back from his adventure saying if he still loves his family he should quit being in the hero’s team. Hoooo you made me a their while you became a thug and threaten innocent people, you sure are more evil than the demon king himself.

Then she left the doll by the roadside and said to me “My love is very kind hearted, he will definitely help the doll out. I have the doll village installed a very painful memory into it that his village was burned down to the ground by the demon king and he is on a quest to revenge his family. I am positive that my love will not refuse him.”

That’s a good plan&h.e.l.lip;.. But it would have been better if there is no ‘The demon king burned his village down to the ground’s part.

In the end, the hero really did take the doll in to his party and said “Unforgivable. The demon king is so evil that he would burn down villages and harm innocent people” and he rambled on and on how evil I am in a very polite way.

Why is my life so miserable that I have to be the object of scorn from the heroes. And this scorn is a very polite speech, it hurts in another way&h.e.l.lip; Why can’t you just curse me in the way normal people do?

But for you information you stupid hero&h.e.l.lip; I can’t even light my own match stick!