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V2 Chapter 13: A Ghost in My Heart I mobilized all of my imagination and hypothetical skills, completing the reversal taming process. I also managed to take advantage of Jiang Muqing’s lack of legal knowledge, and successfully manipulated that factor. I pulled her twisted emotions out of the dead end it was racing towards. I’ve long since considered the possibility that she would prove I loved her through s.e.xual means.
If I conjectured the future terrifying events very exaggeratedly and stop her in her steps, the problem would naturally dissipate. And the result of that little hypothesis was a total blockade of the girl’s hopes of achieving true love through intercourse. It seems that this sudden, emergency treatment has somehow succeeded. But what still pained my heart was the obvious sign that she didn’t believe I loved her anymore. To gain her trust on my love is the first foundation I needed to lay out in order to stabilize her emotions. It was also the key to protecting her from her own heart. ….. When we calmed down, we laid on opposite sides of the bed. She occasionally turned her head to glance at my anguished expression, and then tilt back dazedly. “Fan, my head is so confused.” The girl’s voice was hollow, and her tone was unnaturally feeble. “What’s wrong?” I asked stressfully. What on earth are you thinking now?! What does she want before going to sleep quietly? “I’m really scared. I want to believe in Fan, but my heart jabs me every time. It keeps on telling to me that Fan is lying to me.” The girl readjusted her sliding towel, and kept her head lowered dejectedly. “Your heart?” Women’s hearts are too frightening for me. And she’s right, I’m completely deceiving her. “Fan says he likes me, and admitted that we’re in a relations.h.i.+p, but I really can’t feel a sliver of his love. I feel so empty; I can’t sleep at night.” The girl raised her head, and looked at me grievously. “I thought that if I would give my first time to Fan, I’ll definitely leave a permanent impression on him. And Fan would also start taking good responsibility of me after receiving my gift. But, the consequences are too wicked….” The girl spoke vacantly. Innocent. Too innocent. In this modern, fast-paced society, culture becomes much more intimately accepting. What man nowadays would care about their first time? The vast majority of newlyweds at this century aren’t even virgins. Women who want to s.n.a.t.c.h men with their first time are foolish. Then, do girls care about boys’ first times? That’s not even a valid question; a boy’s insignificant first time is nearly always taken by his right or left hand. But as long you know the dangerous consequences and do as I say, you’ll definitely become just the same as any girl. “I’m so confused, what should I do? I can’t let go of Lu Fan at all, I’m afraid that Fan won’t like me, that Fan will leave me someday.” The girl was getting more and more frustrated. She clutched her head as if in pain, and even her eyes were starting to tinge pink. “I really love you! What can I do to convince you?” I held her shoulders, turned her around to face me, and tried to gaze at her as tenderly as I could. But my kindness wasn’t being very effective, she still looked very distressed. I really don’t have any more ideas, I’ve tried my best to express that I love her, but she always pierces through my disguise. “Just…. Just, that feeling. The feeling that I can’t explain when Fan kissed me last time.” Now, the girl’s eyes looked very focused. “Last time….” The kiss…. Last time. I remember that my world tipped sideways, and I forced a kiss on Jiang Muqing, who was on the verge of collapse. The girl’s lips were moist and soft, gradually heating up as the kiss went on. Although I was physically excited, my mind was peaceful. Until her tears streamed down my face. That memory thrust through my mind, and I couldn’t continue the kiss any longer. Is that the love that the girl is looking for? …. Jiang Muqing saw that I wasn’t responding. She lightly bit her lip, and eased in my direction tentatively. “Can you hold me?” She gazed at my face. “Didn’t you hear what I said about what will happen?” Hey, you’re half naked with only a towel on! Idiot! “I know, if we do that, Fan will die, I will die, and our child will live a dreary life. Believe me, I want to live with Lu Fan happily for the rest of my life, I won’t let that happen.” The girl’s tone was very honest. “Then, alright.” I wrapped my arms around her gently with a straight face. She pressed against my chest with only a towel. Because it was very thin, along with our skin-to-skin contact, I had a hard time controlling myself. The girl didn’t seem to care, and her expression was calm. “Do you love me?” Only G.o.d knows how many times she’s asked me that. “I do.” I instinctively replied. “Am I beautiful?” The girl stared into my eyes. “You are; any guy’s heart would throb at the sight of you.” This was true. I still remember Guotong’s disgusting expression at the speech. He wasn’t the only boy drooling like that, either. “I don’t care whose heart I throb, as long as it’s Fan’s.” The girl’s cheek pressed firmly against my chest. “How couldn’t it?” I hugged her a little awkwardly. “Then compared to Luo Xue, which one of us makes Fan’s heart throb more?” Her mouth opened and closed, saying the words I least wanted to hear. “….” I was stunned. Next, my heartbeat quickened, and I started to shake. My throat felt that something was blocking it, and I couldn’t speak. There’s absolutely nothing that can be compared with the two of them?! Why do you have to bring that up? It’s clear enough that even Mom doesn’t dare to mention Xue in front of me. “Don’t say her name! Please, I’m begging you, alright? Don’t you understand?!” I clasped Jiang Muqing’s shoulders, and shook violently. I completely forgot that I shouldn’t act in such a threatening manner. If I kept it up, her emotions could ripple in lengths n.o.body can imagine. But she stayed silent, and let me shake her all I wanted. Her back tilted backward stiffly, and she looked to the ceiling in dismay. “This feeling, I can understand….” Suddenly, she twisted away from me. “So after all, the Fan at that time wasn’t thinking of me, but rather….” “Fan’s heart, has a ghost in it!” The girl coldly pried my hands off of her, and left the room for my father’s office. The turning of the lock followed the slam of the door. “Aaaahhhh!” Soon, the girl’s bloodcurdling wails sounded through the walls. I tucked my palms against my ears, and tried my best to m.u.f.fle the girl’s cries, but it wasn’t much use. This girl is such a pain! I rolled around in my bed, raked my fingers through my hair, but her sobs prevented me from calming down. Why? Why does she care so much? Couldn’t she be satisfied when I said I loved her? To deafen the noise, I closed the door, but the thin wood wasn’t enough at all. I plunged my head in my blankets. But in the pitch-black stuffiness, I could still hear the wails. I tossed and turned in my bed, and heard someone knocking on the door outside. It should be Mom coming home, she’s really late. Jiang Muqing locked herself in the room, and didn’t look like she was coming out at all. So I dragged my exhausted self, and opened the door. Mom rushed in the house, and heard Jiang Muqing bawling in her room. “Did you bully my little Qing?” She interrogated. “Nope.” I snapped angrily. “Little b.a.s.t.a.r.d, go apologize right now!” Mom turned the office’s k.n.o.b, but it was indeed locked.