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Chapter 11
V2 Chapter 11: Uncontrollable Emotions (Part 1) I received a phone call. “Mom, where are you, are you not coming home today?”
I heard a lot of noise in the background, there seemed to be a party going on. “Haven’t I been working on the new book for a month? It’s finally published, and the author just has to treat us editors to a meal, and I really can’t push it off. I’ll be home a little late today.” Mom’s blurred voice came from the speaker. “Hey, Jiang Muqing is still at our house, it’s not really okay to leave her here alone with me!” I was close to shouting. “Idiot son, I believe in ya. Behave well, and don’t do anything strange.” I couldn’t believe that Mom didn’t feel any sense of danger whatsoever, and only let me off with a reminder. “You better come home soon, or else prepare to be a grandmother, Mom!” I threatened snappily. “It’s kind of stressful to be a grandma at this age, don’t you think…” Mom joked half-heartedly. “Mom!” I really can’t stand her. “Alright, you’re almost an adult, your mother can’t cover for you all the time. There are some things that you have to deal with yourself, but you must use the correct methods.” Hearing my disdainful tone, Mom gave me a mini-lecture. “Can you at least tell me what is the ‘correct method’? Your G.o.ddaughter’s been leaning on my side for a while now, Mom!” I demanded skeptically. “Ay, I’m not going to talk any longer. The girls over there want me to drink with them again, you take care of yourself. Don’t do anything out of place!” Mom emphasized the last note. It seems that she’s reiterating, but she’s really just letting me do what I need to. What’s more, do I really look like an innocent sheep that eats whatever gra.s.s that’s put in front of it? Mom really isn’t worrying at all. Okay, even if I’m a sheep, I still can’t take the meat shoved in my mouth that is Jiang Muqing?! Haven’t you heard about mad cow disease, where cattle develop brain disorders through eating meat? “Then…. Don’t come home too late, and be careful on the road.” I wanted to cry, yet shed no tears. “Okay, I’m hanging up.” Mom just hung up without a care. She really can’t help me at all, I thought that she would be at home to counsel Jiang Muqing and maybe open some thoughts for her to think about. But then again, when she was at home, the only things she’ll do were work and sleep, allowing Jiang Muqing to do as she wishes. Her words strictly ban any suspicious behavior, but her att.i.tude is clearly letting Jiang Muqing trample anywhere she wants. Although Jiang Muqing is happier now, but Mom has pushed all responsibility towards me. “Irresponsible Mom.” I sighed in annoyance. “Is Auntie not coming home tonight?” Jiang Muqing was long by my side, trying to acquire every last bit of information from our phone call. “No, she’s just going to be home a bit late.” I looked at her, distressed. “If she’s going to get home late, then that means that we’ll have a long time to ourselves.” At this time, I noticed Jiang Muqing’s queer gaze. She seemed like a starving wolf that had laid its eyes on an easy prey. “What do you want?” I asked a bit fearfully. “Let’s eat dinner!” She immediately retracted her stare, and pointed to the microwaved dishes in an easygoing manner. Jiang Muqing’s cooking is great today. I was incredibly famished, so I started wolfing down on the food. But after a while, I felt that the atmosphere was a bit off. Jiang Muqing sat across me, holding her chin up with her palms. She stared at me. The rice in her bowl was untouched. She maintained her soft gaze, watching my rather indecent table manners. “Why aren’t you eating?” I stopped. “Looking at Fan eating, I don’t have the time to eat myself.” She looked very cheerful. “If you don’t eat, there won’t be any left.” I raised my chopsticks ominously. “Then eat it all, if Fan’s full, then I’m full.” She rested her cheeks on her hands, looking very satisfied.” “Then if you don’t eat, I’m not going to, either.” I stopped my chopsticks with a huff, and left the bowl half finished. Who doesn’t eat the food that they made themselves? “Fan, how could you do this….” Now that she’s become anxious, she started to eat. But after a few bites, she stopped again. “If I’m eating, I can’t see Fan enjoying my grat.i.tude, this isn’t going to work!” She bit her lip, and spoke unhappily. “Then, I’ll feed you as I go?” I wasn’t aware of what I said, and let out a careless comment. Jiang Muqing’s eyes immediately sparkled with a newfound light. “Sure!” Am I not just digging myself a deeper hole, here? So, Jiang Muqing brightly sat next to me, and confidently opened her mouth like a baby bird. “Fan, I want that piece of meat.” “Okay, here’s the meat.” “Fan, I want rice.” “Mm, rice.” “Fan, I want soup.” “Oh, soup.” …. My hands never stopped. I said that I was going to feed while eating, but I was actually only feeding her the entire time. My arms became sore and tired, but she was too cheerful. Well, I guess this counts as my repayment. She waited so long behind that door for me, so I had no complaints. Until… “Fan, I want to eat shrimp.” “Shrimp?” I saw a plate with golden, stir-fried shrimp. “Okay, shrimp.” I quickly removed the shrimp’s hard sh.e.l.l, revealing its tender meat. Then, I raised it to the girl’s mouth. I don’t know if she did it on purpose or not, but before I could pull back my hand, she bit on my hand. “Hey… Wait a second!” I cried. Her pet.i.te lips latched on to my finger. Latched…. On…. My throat throbbed suddenly, and swallowed. My fingertips registered her mouth’s moisture. This strange feeling raced up the nerves of my arm to my brain, almost vaporizing my iron-willed sense of reason. Neurons clicked in my brain, sending all kinds of thoughts bouncing in my head. I had no power whatsoever to stop it. I quickly pulled away, and skittered backwards a little in my chair. “Fan, we should take advantage of this time when Auntie’s not around, and finish what we started.” V2 Chapter 11: Uncontrollable Emotions (Part 2) Jiang Muqing looked at my awkward state, seeming to know exactly what I was going to do. “I’m not…. Ready yet, can we do this another time?” I immediately froze. “Do you still love me?” As soon as I tried to reject, the girl’s smile started to petrify. She neared me with her lips tightly pressed, closely observing my face. “I’ve been loving you all along….” “Then today, let’s bring our relations.h.i.+p to the next step, Fan.” The girl walked into the bathroom to take a shower, leaving me sitting uncomfortably on the living room sofa. I turned on the TV. The current channel was playing a Chinese war film. Booming sounds of cannons and the sounds of j.a.panese soldiers’ screams hollered from the speakers. * *China is still not too far away from the time when it was being f.u.c.ked by European superpowers from all sides and slapped around by j.a.pan. Although China is now very technologically and economically advanced as compared to before, the Communist Party is still in power, and propaganda is still a very real issue. To think that in the 21st century, children at elementary school age are taught lessons with stories of Chinese war heroes slaughtering the “filthy” j.a.panese, and shown b.l.o.o.d.y propaganda videos made by the government (hey, I was shown a good couple myself, everyone had to). In fact, people still call the j.a.panese and Europeans “devils”; “日本鬼子” (j.a.panese devils) and “洋鬼子” “European devils.” Since China does not have such a diverse population like America, it’s so incredibly easy for the government to manipulate them into thinking whatever they want about foreigners. Their capitalist economy is quickly dragging the Chinese out of this mentality, however. As proven since the dawn of humanity, money always wins over and succeeds religion, culture, and propaganda. I picked up the remote and set the volume very high to drown out the sounds of Jiang Muqing showering. But even if I set it to the highest, my ears still would ignore the cries and gunshots, and seek the gentle splashes coming from the bathroom. I wanted to just straight up slap myself. Even though my heart knew that the whole matter was completely wrong, my body was stuck in a state of high expectations and mindless excitement. s.h.i.+t, if this continues on, I really won’t be able to control myself. I have to leave this wretched limbo; maybe I’ll go to the community center outside, and chat idly with the elderly…. I turned off the TV, and headed out the door. But as soon as I turned the k.n.o.b…. “Fan, why are you heading out.” The splas.h.i.+ng of water from the shower stopped. “I’m going to get some air…. It’s too stuffy indoors.” I uttered in the bathroom’s direction. “Fan, you’re going to tell me that you’re going to get some air at a time like this?!” The bathroom door opened fully, and Jiang Muqing was only wearing a single white towel. The cloth wrapped around her youthful body; her elegant curves and steaming, exposed skin would make anyone’s head rush with blood. She walked to me with a dark expression. Her soaked, plastic slippers seemed out of place. “Fan, we’re in a relations.h.i.+p, aren’t we?” She lifted her head, and asked. “Theoretically, yes.” I started to back away. “Then what about realistically? I don’t feel Lu Fan’s love at all!” The girl’s emotions were taking a free fall. “I….” “Lu Fan should be all mine, I can’t take this ‘so close, but so far’ distance anymore. I love Lu Fan, I need to have him as a whole!” She exploded with all of her bottled up emotions. “I do love you, but I….” I had nothing to back myself up. “Then prove it to me, Lu Fan, show me if you’re a man or not!” Her voice was menacing and dominating. “I….” My eyes widened, and my legs could only back away. She stared at me dead in the eyes, and started to smile strangely. “There’s fear in Lu Fan’s eyes…. I must have scared Lu Fan…. Lu Fan must hate me now…. Lu Fan must have stayed with me because I was threatening him, I’m such a bad girl…. It’s all my fault….” She spluttered. “It’s not like that, Jiang Muqing….” I wanted to explain, but I couldn’t think of anything to say. It looks like she’s long since seen through my disguise. “This starving, hungry mood is really disgusting…. Lu Fan must prefer more restrained girls, but I can’t fake my emotions anymore, I just want to love Lu Fan, and understand Lu Fan more than others.” She looked at her nakedness, and laughed bitterly. “No, I’ve never thought that way before.” “Lu Fan, you’ve been lying to me all along, even that kiss was a lie. What a joke, I actually believed it at that moment, I’m such a foolish woman.” “It’s not like that, definitely not.” I was a total mess. In the time Jiang Muqing has lived in our house, she seemed to have become so normal. I thought that through slowing guiding her, she would become a lot better. But since Mom wasn’t home today, she showed her true self. It seems that her condition has become worse through emotional constraint. I haven’t noticed at all…. “Lu Fan, do you have erectile dysfunction?” She roared. “How is that possible?!” “Are you s.e.xually apathetic?!” “No!” “If you even still love me a little bit, will you please give me some hope? I’ve been trying for a long time, and I’m really tired of it.” She curled up, leaned against the pale walls, and seemed to scream from her core. Well, it looks like that I’ve really been forced into a corner by Jiang Muqing…. To think that a woman would question a man’s dignity down there. She’s touched my absolute, innermost red line. “Jiang Muqing! You want hope, don’t you? Tonight, I’ll make you eat those words.” Under her pressure, I also became insane. Who cares about some s.h.i.+tty laws, today I’ll give you a glimpse of what a man’s been gathering up for all of his sixteen years. I lunged forward, lifted her slender body with both hands, and carried her to my bedroom, where I flung her onto the bed.
V2 Chapter 11: Uncontrollable Emotions (Part 1) I received a phone call. “Mom, where are you, are you not coming home today?”
I heard a lot of noise in the background, there seemed to be a party going on. “Haven’t I been working on the new book for a month? It’s finally published, and the author just has to treat us editors to a meal, and I really can’t push it off. I’ll be home a little late today.” Mom’s blurred voice came from the speaker. “Hey, Jiang Muqing is still at our house, it’s not really okay to leave her here alone with me!” I was close to shouting. “Idiot son, I believe in ya. Behave well, and don’t do anything strange.” I couldn’t believe that Mom didn’t feel any sense of danger whatsoever, and only let me off with a reminder. “You better come home soon, or else prepare to be a grandmother, Mom!” I threatened snappily. “It’s kind of stressful to be a grandma at this age, don’t you think…” Mom joked half-heartedly. “Mom!” I really can’t stand her. “Alright, you’re almost an adult, your mother can’t cover for you all the time. There are some things that you have to deal with yourself, but you must use the correct methods.” Hearing my disdainful tone, Mom gave me a mini-lecture. “Can you at least tell me what is the ‘correct method’? Your G.o.ddaughter’s been leaning on my side for a while now, Mom!” I demanded skeptically. “Ay, I’m not going to talk any longer. The girls over there want me to drink with them again, you take care of yourself. Don’t do anything out of place!” Mom emphasized the last note. It seems that she’s reiterating, but she’s really just letting me do what I need to. What’s more, do I really look like an innocent sheep that eats whatever gra.s.s that’s put in front of it? Mom really isn’t worrying at all. Okay, even if I’m a sheep, I still can’t take the meat shoved in my mouth that is Jiang Muqing?! Haven’t you heard about mad cow disease, where cattle develop brain disorders through eating meat? “Then…. Don’t come home too late, and be careful on the road.” I wanted to cry, yet shed no tears. “Okay, I’m hanging up.” Mom just hung up without a care. She really can’t help me at all, I thought that she would be at home to counsel Jiang Muqing and maybe open some thoughts for her to think about. But then again, when she was at home, the only things she’ll do were work and sleep, allowing Jiang Muqing to do as she wishes. Her words strictly ban any suspicious behavior, but her att.i.tude is clearly letting Jiang Muqing trample anywhere she wants. Although Jiang Muqing is happier now, but Mom has pushed all responsibility towards me. “Irresponsible Mom.” I sighed in annoyance. “Is Auntie not coming home tonight?” Jiang Muqing was long by my side, trying to acquire every last bit of information from our phone call. “No, she’s just going to be home a bit late.” I looked at her, distressed. “If she’s going to get home late, then that means that we’ll have a long time to ourselves.” At this time, I noticed Jiang Muqing’s queer gaze. She seemed like a starving wolf that had laid its eyes on an easy prey. “What do you want?” I asked a bit fearfully. “Let’s eat dinner!” She immediately retracted her stare, and pointed to the microwaved dishes in an easygoing manner. Jiang Muqing’s cooking is great today. I was incredibly famished, so I started wolfing down on the food. But after a while, I felt that the atmosphere was a bit off. Jiang Muqing sat across me, holding her chin up with her palms. She stared at me. The rice in her bowl was untouched. She maintained her soft gaze, watching my rather indecent table manners. “Why aren’t you eating?” I stopped. “Looking at Fan eating, I don’t have the time to eat myself.” She looked very cheerful. “If you don’t eat, there won’t be any left.” I raised my chopsticks ominously. “Then eat it all, if Fan’s full, then I’m full.” She rested her cheeks on her hands, looking very satisfied.” “Then if you don’t eat, I’m not going to, either.” I stopped my chopsticks with a huff, and left the bowl half finished. Who doesn’t eat the food that they made themselves? “Fan, how could you do this….” Now that she’s become anxious, she started to eat. But after a few bites, she stopped again. “If I’m eating, I can’t see Fan enjoying my grat.i.tude, this isn’t going to work!” She bit her lip, and spoke unhappily. “Then, I’ll feed you as I go?” I wasn’t aware of what I said, and let out a careless comment. Jiang Muqing’s eyes immediately sparkled with a newfound light. “Sure!” Am I not just digging myself a deeper hole, here? So, Jiang Muqing brightly sat next to me, and confidently opened her mouth like a baby bird. “Fan, I want that piece of meat.” “Okay, here’s the meat.” “Fan, I want rice.” “Mm, rice.” “Fan, I want soup.” “Oh, soup.” …. My hands never stopped. I said that I was going to feed while eating, but I was actually only feeding her the entire time. My arms became sore and tired, but she was too cheerful. Well, I guess this counts as my repayment. She waited so long behind that door for me, so I had no complaints. Until… “Fan, I want to eat shrimp.” “Shrimp?” I saw a plate with golden, stir-fried shrimp. “Okay, shrimp.” I quickly removed the shrimp’s hard sh.e.l.l, revealing its tender meat. Then, I raised it to the girl’s mouth. I don’t know if she did it on purpose or not, but before I could pull back my hand, she bit on my hand. “Hey… Wait a second!” I cried. Her pet.i.te lips latched on to my finger. Latched…. On…. My throat throbbed suddenly, and swallowed. My fingertips registered her mouth’s moisture. This strange feeling raced up the nerves of my arm to my brain, almost vaporizing my iron-willed sense of reason. Neurons clicked in my brain, sending all kinds of thoughts bouncing in my head. I had no power whatsoever to stop it. I quickly pulled away, and skittered backwards a little in my chair. “Fan, we should take advantage of this time when Auntie’s not around, and finish what we started.” V2 Chapter 11: Uncontrollable Emotions (Part 2) Jiang Muqing looked at my awkward state, seeming to know exactly what I was going to do. “I’m not…. Ready yet, can we do this another time?” I immediately froze. “Do you still love me?” As soon as I tried to reject, the girl’s smile started to petrify. She neared me with her lips tightly pressed, closely observing my face. “I’ve been loving you all along….” “Then today, let’s bring our relations.h.i.+p to the next step, Fan.” The girl walked into the bathroom to take a shower, leaving me sitting uncomfortably on the living room sofa. I turned on the TV. The current channel was playing a Chinese war film. Booming sounds of cannons and the sounds of j.a.panese soldiers’ screams hollered from the speakers. * *China is still not too far away from the time when it was being f.u.c.ked by European superpowers from all sides and slapped around by j.a.pan. Although China is now very technologically and economically advanced as compared to before, the Communist Party is still in power, and propaganda is still a very real issue. To think that in the 21st century, children at elementary school age are taught lessons with stories of Chinese war heroes slaughtering the “filthy” j.a.panese, and shown b.l.o.o.d.y propaganda videos made by the government (hey, I was shown a good couple myself, everyone had to). In fact, people still call the j.a.panese and Europeans “devils”; “日本鬼子” (j.a.panese devils) and “洋鬼子” “European devils.” Since China does not have such a diverse population like America, it’s so incredibly easy for the government to manipulate them into thinking whatever they want about foreigners. Their capitalist economy is quickly dragging the Chinese out of this mentality, however. As proven since the dawn of humanity, money always wins over and succeeds religion, culture, and propaganda. I picked up the remote and set the volume very high to drown out the sounds of Jiang Muqing showering. But even if I set it to the highest, my ears still would ignore the cries and gunshots, and seek the gentle splashes coming from the bathroom. I wanted to just straight up slap myself. Even though my heart knew that the whole matter was completely wrong, my body was stuck in a state of high expectations and mindless excitement. s.h.i.+t, if this continues on, I really won’t be able to control myself. I have to leave this wretched limbo; maybe I’ll go to the community center outside, and chat idly with the elderly…. I turned off the TV, and headed out the door. But as soon as I turned the k.n.o.b…. “Fan, why are you heading out.” The splas.h.i.+ng of water from the shower stopped. “I’m going to get some air…. It’s too stuffy indoors.” I uttered in the bathroom’s direction. “Fan, you’re going to tell me that you’re going to get some air at a time like this?!” The bathroom door opened fully, and Jiang Muqing was only wearing a single white towel. The cloth wrapped around her youthful body; her elegant curves and steaming, exposed skin would make anyone’s head rush with blood. She walked to me with a dark expression. Her soaked, plastic slippers seemed out of place. “Fan, we’re in a relations.h.i.+p, aren’t we?” She lifted her head, and asked. “Theoretically, yes.” I started to back away. “Then what about realistically? I don’t feel Lu Fan’s love at all!” The girl’s emotions were taking a free fall. “I….” “Lu Fan should be all mine, I can’t take this ‘so close, but so far’ distance anymore. I love Lu Fan, I need to have him as a whole!” She exploded with all of her bottled up emotions. “I do love you, but I….” I had nothing to back myself up. “Then prove it to me, Lu Fan, show me if you’re a man or not!” Her voice was menacing and dominating. “I….” My eyes widened, and my legs could only back away. She stared at me dead in the eyes, and started to smile strangely. “There’s fear in Lu Fan’s eyes…. I must have scared Lu Fan…. Lu Fan must hate me now…. Lu Fan must have stayed with me because I was threatening him, I’m such a bad girl…. It’s all my fault….” She spluttered. “It’s not like that, Jiang Muqing….” I wanted to explain, but I couldn’t think of anything to say. It looks like she’s long since seen through my disguise. “This starving, hungry mood is really disgusting…. Lu Fan must prefer more restrained girls, but I can’t fake my emotions anymore, I just want to love Lu Fan, and understand Lu Fan more than others.” She looked at her nakedness, and laughed bitterly. “No, I’ve never thought that way before.” “Lu Fan, you’ve been lying to me all along, even that kiss was a lie. What a joke, I actually believed it at that moment, I’m such a foolish woman.” “It’s not like that, definitely not.” I was a total mess. In the time Jiang Muqing has lived in our house, she seemed to have become so normal. I thought that through slowing guiding her, she would become a lot better. But since Mom wasn’t home today, she showed her true self. It seems that her condition has become worse through emotional constraint. I haven’t noticed at all…. “Lu Fan, do you have erectile dysfunction?” She roared. “How is that possible?!” “Are you s.e.xually apathetic?!” “No!” “If you even still love me a little bit, will you please give me some hope? I’ve been trying for a long time, and I’m really tired of it.” She curled up, leaned against the pale walls, and seemed to scream from her core. Well, it looks like that I’ve really been forced into a corner by Jiang Muqing…. To think that a woman would question a man’s dignity down there. She’s touched my absolute, innermost red line. “Jiang Muqing! You want hope, don’t you? Tonight, I’ll make you eat those words.” Under her pressure, I also became insane. Who cares about some s.h.i.+tty laws, today I’ll give you a glimpse of what a man’s been gathering up for all of his sixteen years. I lunged forward, lifted her slender body with both hands, and carried her to my bedroom, where I flung her onto the bed.
