Short Stories by Robert A. Heinlein Vol 2 Part 156

Twenty minutes later we walked out with a doc.u.ment which enabled us to hire any witch or wizard to salvage my place of business on a contingent fee not to exceed twenty-five per cent of the value reclaimed. I thought you were going to throw up the whole matter,' I told Jedson with a sigh of relief.

He grinned. Not in the wide world, old son. He was simply trying to horse you into paying the cost of saving them some money. I just let him know that I knew.'

It took some time to decide whom to consult. Jedson admitted frankly that he did not know of a man nearer than New York who could, with certainty, be trusted to do the job, and that was out of the question for the fee involved. We stopped in a bar, and he did some telephoning while I had a beer. Presently he came back and said, I think I've got the man. I've never done business with him before, but he has the reputation and the training, and everybody I talked to seemed to think that he was the one to see.'

Who is it?' I wanted to know.

Dr Fortescue Biddle. He's just down the street - the Railway Exchange Building.

Come on, we'll walk it.'

I gulped down the rest of my beer and followed him.

Dr Biddle's place was impressive. He had a corner suite on the fourteenth floor, and he had not spared expense in furnis.h.i.+ng and decorating it. The style was modern; it had the austere elegance of a society physician's layout. There was a frieze around the wall of the signs of the zodiac done in intaglio gla.s.s, backed up by aluminium. That was the only decoration of any sort, the rest of the furnis.h.i.+ng being very plain, but rich, with lots of plate gla.s.s and chromium.

We had to wait about thirty minutes in the outer office; I spent the time trying to estimate what I could have done the suite for, subletting what I had to and allowing ten per cent. Then a really beautiful girl with a hushed voice ushered us in. We found ourselves in another smaller room, alone, and had to wait about ten minutes more. It was much like the waiting room, but had some gla.s.s bookcases and an old print of Aristotle. I looked at the bookcases with Jedson to kill time. They were filled with a lot of rare old cla.s.sics on magic. Jedson had just pointed out the Red Grimoire when we heard a voice behind us.

Amusing, aren't they? The ancients knew a surprising amount. Not scientific, of course, but remarkably clever-' The voice trailed off. We turned around; he introduced him- sell as Dr Biddle.

He was a nice enough looking chap, really handsome in a spare, dignified fas.h.i.+on. He was about ten years older than I am - fortyish, maybe - with iron-grey hair at the temples and a small, stiff, British major's moustache. His clothes could have been out of the style pages of Esquire. There was no reason for me not to like him; his manners were pleasant enough. Maybe it was the supercilious twist of his expression.

He led us into his private office, sat us down, and offered us cigarettes before business was mentioned. He opened up with, You're Jedson, of course. I suppose

Mr Ditworth sent you?'

I c.o.c.ked an ear at him; the name was familiar. But Jedson simply answered, Why, no. Why would you think that he had?'

Biddle hesitated for a moment, then said, half to himself, That's strange. I was certain that I had heard him mention your name. Do either one of you,' he added, know Mr Ditworth?'

We both nodded at once and surprised each other, Biddle seemed relieved and said, No doubt that accounts for it. Still - I need some more information. Will you gentlemen excuse me while I call him?'

With that he vanished. I had never seen it done before. Jedson says there are two ways to do it, one is hallucination, the other is an actual exit through the

Half World. Whichever way it's done, I think it's bad manners.

About this chap Ditworth,' I started to say to Jedson. I had intended to ask you-'

Let it wait,' he cut me off, there's not time now.'

At this Biddle reappeared. It's all right,' he announced, speaking directly to me. I can take your case. I suppose you've come about the trouble you had last night with your establishment?'

Yes,' I agreed. How did you know?'

Methods,' he replied, with a deprecatory little smile. My profession has its means. Now, about your problem. What is it you desire?'

I looked at Jedson; he explained what he thought had taken place and why he thought so. Now I don't know whether you specialize in demonology or not,' he concluded, but it seems to me that it should be possible to evoke the powers responsible and force them to repair the damage. If you can do it, we are prepared to pay any reasonable fee.'

Biddle smiled at this and glanced rather self-consciously at the a.s.sortment of diplomas hanging on the walls of his office. I feel that there should be reason to rea.s.sure you,' he purred. Permit me to look over the ground-' And he was gone again.

I was beginning to be annoyed. It's all very well for a man to be good at his job, but there is no reason to make a side show out of it. But I didn't have time to grouse about it before he was back.

Examination seems to confirm Mr Jedson's opinion; there should be no unusual difficulties,' he said. Now as to the . ah . . . business arrangements-' He coughed politely and gave a little smile, as if he regretted having to deal with such vulgar matters.

Why do some people act as if making money offended their delicate minds? I am out for a legitimate profit, and not ashamed of it; the fact that people will pay money for my goods and services shows that my work is useful.

However, we made a deal without much trouble, then Biddle told us to meet him at my place in about fifteen minutes. Jedson and I left the building and flagged another cab. Once inside I asked him about Ditworth.

Where'd you run across him?' I said.

Came to me with a proposition.

Hm-m-m-' This interested me; Ditworth had made me a proposition, too, and it had worried me. What kind of a proposition?'

Jedson screwed up his forehead. Well, that's hard to say - there was so much impressive sales talk along with it. Briefly, he said he was the local executive secretary of a nonprofit a.s.sociation which had as its purpose the improvement of standards of practising magicians.'

I nodded. It was the same story I had heard. Go ahead.'

He dwelt on the inadequacy of the present licensing laws and pointed out that anyone could pa.s.s the examinations and hang out his s.h.i.+ngle after a couple of weeks' study of a grimoire or black book without any fundamental knowledge of the arcane laws at all. His organization would be a sort of bureau of standards to improve that, like the American Medical a.s.sociation, or the National

Conference of Universities and Colleges, or the Bar a.s.sociation. If I signed an agreement to patronize only those wizards who complied with their requirements.

I could display their certificate of quality and put their seal of approval on my goods.'

Joe, I've heard the same story.' I cut in. and I didn't know quite what to make of it. It sounds all right, but I wouldn't want to stop doing business with men who have given me good value in the past, and I've no way of knowing that the a.s.sociation would approve them.'

What answer did you give him?'

I stalled him a bit - told him that I couldn't sign anything as binding as that without discussing it with my attorney.'

Good boy! What did he say to that?'

Well, he was really quite decent about it, and honestly seemed to want to be helpful. Said he thought I was wise and left me some stuff to look over. Do you know anything about him? Is he a wizard himself?'

No, he's not. But I did find out some things about him. I knew vaguely that he was something in the Chamber of Commerce; what I didn't know is that he is on the board of a dozen or more blue-ribbon corporations. He's a lawyer, but not in practice. Seems to spend all his time on his business interests.

He sounds like a responsible man.'

I would say so. He seems to have had considerably less publicity than you would expect of a man of his business importance - probably a retiring sort. I ran across something that seemed to confirm that.'

What was it?' I asked.

I looked up the incorporation papers for his a.s.sociation on file with the

Secretary of State. There were just three names, his own and two others. I found that both of the others were employed in his office - his secretary and his receptionist.

Dummy setup?'

Undoubtedly. But there is nothing unusual about that. What interested me was this: I recognized one of the names.'