The Unforseen Return Part 6

Richly: How her looks have changed. She has haggard eyes.

Mrs. Prim: Well--it's Mr. Richly. You've come back to England, eh?

Richly: Ready to render you my devoirs.

Mrs. Prim: I'm very distressed about the misfortune you've suffered.

Richly: I have to be patient. They say devils are occupying my house. But it will be all right after we kick them out. They'll be worn out staying there.

Mrs. Prim: (aside) Devils in his house! I'd better not contradict him, it might make him worse.

Richly: I'd like, madam, to store some packages that I brought back with me in your house.

Mrs. Prim: (aside) He doesn't realize that his s.h.i.+p was wrecked. What a pity.

(Aloud) I am at your service and my house is more yours than mine.

Richly: Oh, madam, I have no intention of abusing you of the condition you are in.

(To Roger) But really, Roger, this woman is not as crazy as you said she was.

Roger: She has a few good moments--but it won't last.

Richly: Tell me, Mrs. Prim, have you always been as wise and as reasonable as you are now?

Mrs. Prim: I don't think anybody, Mr. Richly, has ever seen me otherwise.

Richly: But it that's so your family shouldn't have you locked up.

Mrs. Prim: Locked up--me--have me locked up?

Richly: (aside) She's totally unaware of her illness.

Mrs. Prim: But if you are not ordinarily more crazy than at present, I think it's very wrong you should be put away.

Richly: Me put away?

(Aside) Now she's out of whack; there it is, there it is. Let's change the subject.

(Aloud) Well, is it that you're irritated about their selling your house?

Mrs. Prim: They sold my house?

Richly: At least it's better that my son bought it at a bargain price.

Mrs. Prim: My poor Mr. Richly. My house hasn't been sold, and it's not for sale.

Richly: There! There! Don't upset yourself, I promise you you will always have your apartment--just as if you still owned it--and as if you were in good mental health.

Mrs. Prim: What do you mean as if I was still in good mental health! Go away, you're an old madman, an old madman who shouldn't be allowed out of Bedlam--of Bedlam, my friend.

Roger: (To Mrs. Prim) Are you wise to fight with a wacko?

Richly: Oh, if that's your att.i.tude, you can get out. The house belongs to me, and I'll put my luggage there in spite of you. Just look at this crazy old woman.

Roger: (To Richly) What are you getting in a rage for with a woman who has lost her mind?

Mrs. Prim: Just try. I'll be waiting for you. Back to your padded cell you lunatic! Hurry and lock him up, he's becoming dangerous, I'm warning you.

(Exit Mrs. Prim in a huff)

Roger: (aside) I don't quite know how I am going to get out of this.

Squire: (entering from the house) What's all this hullabaloo? Beating on an honest man's door and scandalizing the neighborhood?

Richly: Roger, what's going on?

Roger: The devils in your house are a little drunk. They frolic in the wine cellar.

Richly: Some kind of swindle is afoot, I'm sure of it.

Squire: They say the master of this house has just returned from a long sea voyage--would you be he by any chance?

Richly: Yes, sir, I am he.

Squire: I congratulate you, sir. That was a beautiful trip and a wonderful lesson for a young man. You must know, sir, that your son has been learning wonderful manners while you were gone. Really fine manners.

The boy is very generous. Doesn't resemble you at all. You are a villain, sir.

Richly: Sir, sir!

Roger: These teasing devils are insolent.

Richly: You are a rogue.

Squire: We were very upset, very worried--full of concern over your return. In your absence your son was ready to kill himself from malaise. In truth, he disliked everything in life. He gave up all his vanities.

Everything that could attach him to this earth: wealth, furniture, honors. This boy loves you so much it's unbelievable.

Roger: He would have died of worry during your absence if it hadn't been for this honest gentleman.

Richly: He! How is it you're in my house, sir, if you please?

Squire: Don't you understand without my telling you? I've just drunk champagne in the best company. He's still feasting which is the best way possible for him to comfort himself in your absence.

Richly: This swindler will ruin me. I'm going in.

Roger: Stop! I will not allow you to enter.

Richly: I can't go in to my own house?