F Volume 3 Chapter 5 Part2

TRIGGER WARNING: Mentions of Suicide

Part 1

"……Huh?"

I could see my body from below.

I looked around at my surroundings in surprise.

I was——inside of the temple at Jinshan. My body was sleeping on top of some sort of carpet. There were several people around me. The candle stand at my side lit up their faces.

"They're all safe."

Both the Rittei and Ilfai looked visibly tired.

"I see, they must have used their powers to the limit to keep everyone safe after I left the barrier."

And yeah, Cowess and the other knights are all here too.

A lot of people were hurt, but I was glad that no one was in any sort of life-threatening condition.

"Wait. If they're here……huh? What's going on?"

Louie and Eru were here too. It irritated me that I couldn't run toward them even though I wanted to!

Eru continuously licked my cheek. Jeez Eru, you're cute, and I'm glad you like me, but my cheeks are dripping wet now!

I couldn't tell what kind of look Louie had on his face because he was facing down. He was simply kneeling on the floor and holding my hand.

"Actually, why am I looking down at myself like this!?"

No way, am I having one of those infamous out-of-body experiences right now?

——What nonsense are you going on about, Master?

"Solt, what should I do, I think my soul is floating outside of my body!"

I looked up and down my body lying on top of a thick blanket in a panic.

Solt, the divine sword, had been placed next to my body.

——You haven't awoken for nearly a full day now, Master.

Ehh?

"I slept in again?!"

Wasn't I sleeping a bit too much? I slept like a log back when I removed the poison out from Louie's mouth too.

——……. Listen, it wasn't possible for you to wake even after dawn had come because you lost too much blood, Master. The knights carried you to the temple under the sacred beast's guidance after I cancelled out my barrier.

"Oh, so that's how everyone met up."

I see……I thought in relief before I realized that it wasn't the time to be relieved like that.

"Um, what am I supposed to do about this?"

——Your flesh still needs rest, Master. But look. These restless ones are terrified of the second advent of night and are working to wake you up by force.

"By force?"

If I'd slept for nearly a full day, then it meant that it would be night again soon.

Just how were they planning to wake me up? I heard their voices as soon as I began wondering.

"What do you want to do, the girl isn't showing any signs of waking even now."

The person who had said this was a st.u.r.dily built man with dark blond hair and a look of distress on his face.

"Shouldn't we force her to wake up?"

This voice belonged to the man who had been against my departure yesterday.

"W, wait, she's so exhausted that she's been sleeping this long……"

It was Cowess, who refuted weakly while looking down at the ground.

"Shut up, no one was asking for your opinion. Night's come upon us again!"

It was a man around his thirties who glared at and scolded Cowess, who was plainly frightened.

"But, her holy aura feels very distant at the moment……"

said a cute girl around my age timidly.

"Stop b.u.t.ting in when you're just a lowly priestess apprentice! Or are you trying to say that you can gauge holy auras?"

The man who had silenced Cowess attacked the girl next.

"No, her aura is very faint right now, just as Clara said."

The Rittei turned to the man with fatigue written onto his face and concurred with the cute girl's—Clara's—opinion.

"Then isn't that all the more reason we should wake her up? We won't survive the night if we don't."

"But wouldn't forcing her to wake up put her life at risk?"

The person who had calmly stopped the other man was the kind-looking knight who had spoken to me just before Solt had become the Sea of Trees. He continued,

"she created a barrier and fell asleep to protect us. I don't wish to force her awake if she isn't ready yet."

Several knights nodded after he had spoken.

"Then what else do you suggest? It'll be night soon. And the Rittei's exhausted too. There's hardly any all-water left. How do you propose we construct a barrier?"

Everyone remained silent at the man's words.

"……We haven't used up the ritual tools yet. We will become as your s.h.i.+elds if the Reims find this place and attack."

Apparently, the Reims hadn't found the hidden room yet.

"Stop f.u.c.king around, Juvist. Do you really think that we can make it safely through the night with just the ritual tools we have left……?!"

The man, who had retorted back at Cowess and the others, began to shout. It looked like there were a lot of people who agreed with him.

"And what of the Moon General's opinion?"

the young man with a stubble slipped in a question after a moment of silence. He was the person who had known Louie.

Everyone held their tongue in silence, but Louie didn't answer. He simply kept looking down and brought my hand up to his lips in a kiss.

Someone sighed. It was Ilfai. He brushed back his disheveled hair and looked around at everyone in gloom. His hair looked a lot more tangled then when I'd first met him.

"We can hold a vote. Should we wake her up, or should we let her sleep?"

Everyone looked to each other at Ilfai's simply proposal.

I, I wonder how it'll turn out?

I was kind of embarra.s.sed about this awkward situation where everyone was talking about what to do about me.

"I'm sorry I'm such a heavy sleeper and for having an out-of-body moment."

I floated down to where they were and awaited the results of the vote even as I held my head down in shame and bit down at my own pathetic antics.

­——Master, you better brace yourself.

Solt said in a mean way. I even felt like I heard him snicker.

I had a bad feeling about this.

After the vote, it was decided by a narrow margin that they would wake me up.

The problem lay in how they would go about doing this. After all, my soul was floating way up here.

"She won't wake up just because we shake her a little. We'll have to disturb her while she's sleeping deeply to regain the divine powers she's used up. It'll have to be a shock strong enough to wake her up from that state."

Whoa, Ilfai, that sounded really scary just now.

I nervous looked around at everyone. How were they going to wake me up?

Ilfai put on a gloomy face and wrung his hands as if he was was.h.i.+ng them with soap. He looked very wary of Louie and the other knights for some reason.

He looked particularly mindful of Eru's and Louie's reactions.

"I want you to keep in mind that this was the result of a vote. It wasn't only my decision to do it, alright?"

Why was he pus.h.i.+ng so hard on this point?

The knights who were watching him looked puzzled, likely because they were wondering the same thing that I was.

Ilfai put his hands, which he had been rubbing together until then, on his forehead and let out an exaggerated sigh.

"What a distasteful job I have. That's right, it doesn't necessarily have to be me! You can be the one to wake her up, Rittei."

"I refuse."

Ilfai looked rather hostile and clicked his tongue when the Rittei replied immediately and abruptly turned away. He even clicked his tongue again a second time.

"Jeez……. Alright, but don't hate me for this. If you're going to curse me for doing this, curse everyone else who voted to wake her up too."

Ilfai crouched down grudgingly in front of me and stared down at me hard. Yeah, so it kinda really makes me feel a lot guiltier if you look at my body like that…

"Can I ask you to stand back?"

Ilfai waved a hand to send away Eru and Louie, who had refused to leave my side, for some reason. Once he had confirmed that they had reluctantly moved away, he gently touched my cheek and peered into my face.

"Sorry, but I'm going to have you feel a little bit of pain,"

he whispered in my ear as I slept so that no one else could hear. I was somehow able to hear him despite being outside of my body……wait, your words were really disturbing just now.

Suddenly, Ilfai began saying something that sounded peculiar. Was it some kind of spell?

Once he had finished chanting the short spell, Ilfai drew his hand closer to my forehead while looking even moodier than he had been.

With a snap, my forehead —or rather, the divine stone on my forehead— made a sound like something had burst.

A tiny spark appeared between Ilfai's palm and the divine stone for a moment.

And just then.

My floating consciousness disappeared as though it had been smashed into pieces.

"——U, uwaa!"

It hurts!!

My forehead really, really hurts!

A sharp pain strong enough to make me arch my back and start convulsing spread from the center of my forehead to the rest of my body.

A groan that seemed to suppress a scream squeezed out of my lips. It was a startling pain that I just couldn't ignore.

Evidently, I had somehow returned to my body in an instant and had managed to regain full consciousness. It was probably thanks to the spell that Ilfai had chanted, but what was I supposed to do about this pain?

I felt like I heard someone talking, but it was drowned out by the pain.

I couldn't open my eyes immediately. I had subconsciously pressed down at my forehead with both of my hands in an effort to escape even a little bit of the pain. I felt something wet on my hands when I did.

I wanted to faint again. It hurt more than the time that Eru had bit my arm.

Someone shouted loudly. I also heard an angry roar. Oh, Eru is really mad at someone.

The area around me felt noisy, as though people were arguing with each other. I slowly opened my eyes while still pressing down hard at my forehead. I saw people in my blurry visions whose outlines gradually grew clearer.

"——Open your eyes, girl! Stop them!"

I heard Ilfai say rather desperately.

I tried to get up, but I couldn't move because it hurt too much. My vision had returned, though. I quickly figured out what was going on.

"That's why I told you from the very beginning……!"

Louie was pointing his sword at the unarmed Ilfai. The stubbled man was s.h.i.+elding Ilfai, who's face looked extraordinarily stiff, and was keeping Louie in check by holding up his own sword.

Even Eru had charged at Ilfai in an attempt to bite him and had only been repelled by a magical wall that the Rittei had created. I was taken aback.

What's going on?

"Hurry up and stop them, will you?!"

Ilfai, who had noticed that I had woken up, shouted as he clung to the stubbled man's back while the latter faced off against Louie.

"……oui……, Eru."

My voice was hoa.r.s.e because my throat was dry. The stiff tension in my body wouldn't go away because of the pain in my forehead.

Still, it looked like my hoa.r.s.e voice had reached Eru's ears.

Eru cooed in heartache and ran toward me with his hair billowing out like he had just been shocked.

"Eru……"

Eru cooed again and pushed his nose against my cheeks and neck as I was lying down.

He babied me as hard as he could as though he was trying to express how lonely he had been. You're really cute, but I might get pushed around like a doll at this rate. I felt like I would start rolling over if I let myself relax.

"Look, General! She's awake!"

said the stubbled man with an ashen face as Louie readjusted his grip on his sword. Louie's sword stopped immediately and was quietly lowered toward the ground.

The others were looking fearfully at Louie while being frozen stiff in a posture that suggested that they were ready to run at a moment's notice.

"Louie."

I called for him as I was being soothed by Eru's desperate babying. Oh, I might be able to move my arms a little now. I quietly took my arms off of my forehead and placed them across my stomach.

Louie let his bloodl.u.s.t die down and turned around jerkily. He looked like he was at a loss for words. Eventually, a dizzying mix of emotions entered his eyes and his face twisted a little as he looked down at me.

"G'morning……"

After all, I'd promised that I would stay with him. The air about us was awkward because I didn't feel like I could make the excuse that……technically, I hadn't broken my promise because my body had been by his side.

We stared at each other for a little while. Louie sank to his knees before me like he was crumbling down. His moon-colored eyes had taken on a color of hurt and were wavering.

"Louie?"

A large hand timidly stroked my cheek. His was a modest touch that seemed to be unable to decide whether he wanted to touch me or not. The pain ripped through me again despite that his touch has been so light that he had barely grazed me with his fingertips. I took in a sharp breath and tensed up. Louie pulled back his hand as though he had been repelled.

"She's bleeding……"

Cowess, who's legs had given out from beneath him nearby, returned to his senses and spoke gingerly as he looked at my forehead. Now that he mentioned it, my fingers had felt wet when I touched my forehead earlier.

It looked like I was bleeding a little from the area around the divine stone. Eru cried out multiple times and gently licked my forehead. I shut my eyes tight. It really hurt to be touched there right now.

"Hibiki."

I heard Louie's sorrowful voice. I opened my eyes while holding back the pain and smiled at him.

Louie pursed his lips and looked down as a single tear fell from his eyes. He quickly brushed it away with rough movements, like he was trying to hide the fact that it had happened, before I could properly process what was going on.

There was a fierce wrath in Louie's eyes that made me feel like my entire being would freeze over after he wiped away his tears and put down his arm. I was enthralled by the dark light in his eyes.

"Um, Lou……"

Had his hatred for me finally reached a limit because I had broken my promise? A chill ran down my back as I thought this. Incidentally, though, I was wrong.

His next course of action told me that his anger wasn't pointed at me.

"How dare you!"

Louie shouted in a low tone as he glared sharply at Ilfai.

His burning anger was so fierce that it made the room, which had finally begun to calm down, freeze over again. It was like his normal polite demeanor and gentle expressions had all been just a lie. He looked so furious. This was a side of Louie that I didn't know. I couldn't think of the words to stop him with because it was my first time seeing him like this.

"I didn't shock her divine stone because I wanted to! I didn't have a choice because the girl wouldn't wake up unless I did. It was the others who decided to wake her up. If you're going to get angry, then get angry at them!"

Ilfai hid behind the stubbled man in a panic and only poured out his lavish complaints after he had secured his personal safety. The people who had been watching over this turn of events in fear began to panic at his words.

Oh, I see. He had cast a small offensive spell at my divine stone to wake me up. That was why the shock had directly spread through my head and forced me awake.

"Louie…I'm…fine."

I opened my mouth in a hurry because the temporary paralysis had gone away as I grasped what was going on. I had a feeling that Louie and Eru might seriously hurt the people here if I didn't at least say as much.

"See, the girl is saying that she's alright."

They way Ilfai was replying so brazenly made me feel like he'd really get along with Solt for some reason.

Solt's bitter reproach immediately began to resound in my heart, but I pretended I didn't hear him.

The Rittei, who had been standing up all this time, awkwardly drew closer to me with a stiff look on his face.

Eru quickly got up and stood in his way and threatened the Rittei something fierce. He barred his sharp fangs and scrunched up his nose. Yeah, that's a pretty villainous face you've got there.

"No, I'm only trying to heal her. I would never hurt her,"

the Rittei explained with a hint of a plea in his voice as he stopped in his tracks, overpowered.

Eru, I'm okay, don't attack him. When I admonished him repeatedly in my heart, Eru's ears drooped back and he lowered his tail while curling up around me as if he'd heard my voice.

"Eru isn't all that scary, Rittei."

"……Yes."

Eru had stopped threatening the Rittei overtly, but he stuck his nose ever so slightly against my arm and kept the Rittei in check by staring up at him out of the corner of his eye. Jeez, Eru! Your claws are digging into the floor!

"Um, please wait, Rittei. Perhaps you should rest a little……. I may not be of much use elsewise, but I can also cast healing magic."

It was the pretty girl named Clara who had timidly called out to the Rittei in modest reserve. Dilcarette and the others, who had been watching how troubled the Rittei was growing because of Eru, nodded at her suggestion.

The Rittei fell into a bit of contemplation upon seeing how they all reacted before obediently drawing back.

Clara stiffly stepped up and approached me in his stead. She quietly knelt by my side with gentle movements had didn't cause even the slightest of tremors even as she was visibly afraid of the bloodthirsty air around Eru and Louie.

"My abilities may be meager, but I'll heal you……"

Clara explained in a voice so small it was all but nonextinct without meeting my gaze. She trailed off as though she was unconfident in her abilities had covered my forehead with her slender hand in a truly timid manner.

Upon a closer look, I saw that the tips of her white fingers were quivering ever so slightly, either because she was extremely nervous or because she was afraid of me.

"Thank you."

I tried to appeal to her that I wasn't a scary person.

I thanked her while doing my best to sound as normal as possible. Clara opened her eyes wide and finally looked me in the eyes when I did. Her light brown hair was long and flowed behind her. She was a pretty and delicate young girl. I think that she would have become popular within a day if someone as cute as her transferred to my school.

"N, no, not at all……"

Clara returned to her senses and looked down uneasily as her cheeks flushed red. Whoa, Clara really feels like someone who's pure at heart. There was an air about her that made you want to protect her regardless of whether she asked you to or not.

I forgot about my pain and was captivated by her before I knew it.

"So, well, what's happened with her holy aura?"

The person who had spoken restlessly was the man who had advocated strongly for my awakening. He fell back in a panic upon seeing Eru quickly stand up and growl menacingly and the dangerous look in Louie's eyes.

"Her holy aura has returned, perhaps because she has woken up,"

the Rittei said somewhat hesitantly.

——He's wrong, it's because you shed blood. Your blood has already become as a ward against evil, Master. There are no monsters nearby. His eyes are simply clouded by fear, and there was no need to have woken you in the first place.

Solt's indignant voice echoed through my heart. He was in a really bad mood. ……Were you worried about me, by any chance?

——Get over yourself, you reckless, foolish excuse of a Master!

……That was so mean…

Solt, are you bit of a misanthrope by any chance?

"In that case, maybe it's for the best that we hold out for another day in this room,"

Ilfai proposed quietly while casting wary glances and Eru and Louie. He was still hiding behind the stubbled man. It was kinda funny.

The stubbled man had a serious air about him that made him a little hard to approach, but he actually seemed like he was a really nice person. I was strangely impressed by how good Ilfai was at picking out the right person to hide behind.

"Is everyone alright with that?"

Everyone let out a sigh with the tension in their shoulders relaxed.

Only Louie and Eru remained tense. And it worried me.

***

It was a strange time.

The was a gentleness in the air that made the painful days that had continued up until yesterday seem like a lie.

We heard monsters howling from somewhere far away from time to time, but they never showed any signs of coming closer for some reason. The Rittei put up another barrier to protect everyone with. I wondered if he was okay, since he seemed really exhausted.

"Hey, Rittei. How are you holding up?"

The Rittei, who had been speaking with Clara nearby, turned around in surprise when I quietly called out to him. I continued,

"oh, I'm sorry. I interrupted your conversation."

"No. Please don't worry about it. ……I don't believe there are any problems with the barrier. I can maintain it until morning."

He let his gaze swim around like he was troubled for a moment before looking away bashfully.

Eru, who was acting as my backrest, threw a quick glance at him. He had retracted his claws for now, but his mane was still standing erect. It didn't look like he was about to accept the Rittei as an ally anytime soon.

"You were the one who was injured."

"But Clara healed it for me just earlier."

"We should have the spell cast on you again later. Healing magic isn't perfect. It holds a stronger nuance to filling someone up with peace and warmth than to actual treatment. Though, it's effects are influenced by the strength of the caster as well."

"Is that how it works?"

"Yes. There are limits to spells that have to do with healing. In the most extreme cases, it can even affect someone's lifespan."

"I see…"

It somehow made sense to me. That aside, the Rittei was very gentlemanly for his age and he seemed smart too. He was an intellectual and good-looking boy with cool eyes.

But it was only against Ilfai that he never held back. As proof, the Rittei's eyes took on a harsh light as he turned to Ilfai.

"To think that he would attack a girl's face, even if it was to wake you up……I'll make sure to tell him off something fierce for that."

"It's okay."

"You mustn't be lenient with him."

O dear. They really don't get along. I pondered over how I should go about pacifying the Rittei when Louie, who had been greeting the other knights, returned to my side with a blanket draped over one arm. The Rittei left to walk over to where Ilfai was, as though he and Louie were switching places. ……I wonder if he's really gonna scold Ilfai.

"Take this, Hibiki,"

Louie said as he briskly placed the blanket over my knees. He then sat down next to me just as I looked over at him a little lonelily and wondered if he was going to return to where the other knights were.

"Is there anything that you would like? Should I bring you some water?"

"No, I'm okay. Hey, Louie……when did you wake up? Was it after you got to this room?"

Louie fixed his eyes on me.

"——No. I woke up around morning in the training room."

"I see…"

We both kept our mouths shut for a little while.

My heart still hadn't fully processed everything that had happened in that room. Now that I thought about it, even the other knights hadn't brought up all of the corpses that had been there. Maybe they'd vaguely figured out what had happened.

I hugged the divine sword close to me.

"——I'm envious."

"Huh?"

"Of the sword."

Louie smiled wryly and pointed at the sword in question. He continued,

"your sword is the only thing that you never let go of. Would I never have to worry about being apart from you if I were also a sword?"

"……I'm pretty rough with my sword, you know?"

"I don't mind."

"I throw it around and hit it against the floor and stuff."

"You can use me as you wish. I'm fine with that, as long as it means that I will always be kept in your hands."

I squeezed his hand tight before I replied. His moon-colored eyes opened wide.

"Hmm……your hands are pretty big, Louie. I can't wrap my hands around yours even if I use both of them."

"Hibiki?"

I raised my eyebrows at the confusion in his voice.

"If you changed into a sword, Louie, you'd probably be a really large one. Large enough that you'd be taller and heavier than me. I wouldn't be able to hold you. ……Do you wanna shave off some of your sides?"

"Do what with my sides?"

"Wouldn't it be better if I became a sword instead? Size-wise, at least?"

"Absolutely not."

"That was fast!?"

"I wouldn't be able to use you if you became a sword."

"……Because I probably wouldn't be able to cut things properly?"

"That's not what I meant."

Louie laughed a little. My heart grew elated upon seeing the softness in his expression for the first time in a long while. He continued,

"instead of a sword, you should become an accessory."

"Ehh…"

"Like a ring, or a necklace."

"Well, would you put me on if I did, Louie?"

"——Yes."

"But aren't swords just better? All you can do with an accessory is to throw it at the enemy when push comes to shove. It barely has any offensive capabilities at all."

"I wouldn't use you as a weapon."

"But…"

"Please just remain as my ring."

"I'm pretty sure I'd be useless then……. But if you say so, Louie. Make sure to keep me on properly, okay?"

……Wait, what are we talking about again?

I tilted my head to the side as I continued to squeeze his hand. The corners of his eyes flushed slightly as he smiled. He looked endlessly troubled, and yet also sad. He made this kind of face at me from time to time.

"You are both terrible and charming."

Ehhh!? Was he praising me? Or was he disparaging me?

I suddenly found myself unable to look at him. My heartrate had risen. Clara walked over to us when I looked down in a panic. She was apparently here to cast healing magic on me again.

I happily accepted her offer. I wanted the time to quiet down my restless heart. My cheeks had turned red because of the strange things that Louie had said.

Louie really needed to think more seriously about what kind of effect his words had on others!

"You should rest,"

Clara said as she sat down in front of me and put her hand over my face. She continued,

"your face is flushed red. Do you have a fever, by any chance……?"

"N, no. I don't. So you don't need to worry about that."

I let out a deep sigh. My body felt a lot better thanks to the effects of her magic. I hadn't recovered enough to stand up and walk around yet, but the pain in my forehead had died down and the tension had left my arms and legs. Only, Eru and Louie would glare at me whenever I tried to move, so I decided to stay still for the time being.

"Hibiki, it would be best for you to sleep while you can. ……No one will try to wake you up by force anymore."

Louie pressed me to lie down as he glared at Ilfai with suspicion in his eyes.

"Mmm…, but it hurts when I stay in one position for too long."

"Oh, is the floor too hard?"

Louie spread his arms as if he was saying 'go ahead'.

……Are you telling me to sleep in your arms!? In front of everyone?

"Hey, Eru. Do you really think he's actually that oblivious? Or should I start being depressed?"

I feel like he doesn't think of me as a member of the opposite s.e.x even though I'm already a girl of a certain age!

I squinted at Louie and clung to Eru. Eru's so good—he heals my heart.

I pressed my face against Eru's steel-colored fur in an effort to pretend my heart wasn't thumping as hard as it was. Maybe I should start acting more like a girl. What should I do if other people started treating me like I'm younger than I actually am too?

Besides, what am I supposed to do about Louie?! And he's saying stuff like he wants to become my sword too! ……Ignoring the problem of whether I'd actually be able to wield him or not, I'm sure that Louie would be really cool as a sword. I highlighted this fact in my heart.

——Just what about that knight do you think is cool, stupid Master? You have no eye for things.

I suddenly heard Solt sounding like he was mad about something.

Oh, just maybe, was he sulking because I'd imagined what Louie would look like as a sword and complimented him by saying he was cool?

"Solt, you're unexpectedly cute sometimes……"

——Get lost, Master. Your numerous insolences are starting to become difficult to forgive. Besides, you once put on some nonsensical thing on my body, Master. Take it off, you foolish Master!

He was really going off on me……, but what nonsensical thing was he talking about? Had I put something on Solt before?

I only realized after I had turned to look at Solt on the floor. Ooh, he was talking about the heart-shaped glow in the dark sticker!

——How dare you put such a senseless thing on me, d.a.m.n you. d.a.m.n you, Master…….

I almost burst out laughing at how pained Solt's wail was. The sticker looked good on him, too.

It was funny, so I decided to keep it on him.

I instantly felt a fierce storm of disparagement spread through my chest, but I decided to ignore it. I let out a deep sigh and relaxed my body. Yeah, it's probably true that I should rest while I can.

True night would fall upon us soon. Something pulled at the edges of my mind just as I idly entertained the thought.

"Oh……the number of people here…"

Everyone looked to me when I hesitantly began asking my question to no one in particular out loud. It was a little unpleasant to have everyone looking at me like that.

I guess my consciousness had been a little distracted while my soul had been floating around outside of my body. I'd decided that everyone was here like it was natural without making sure to confirm it. Now that my soul had returned to my body, and I could look around with some measure of composure, I started to feel something off about the number of people present.

"Are a few people missing?"

When I looked to Louie for affirmation, he gently brushed my bangs to the side with the tips of his fingers so that they wouldn't touch the divine stone on my forehead.

"I don't know."

"Oh, right."

Louie wouldn't know how many people I'd resurrected in the temple……but then he quietly refuted my unspoken acceptance.

"I am only ever looking at you."

"Lou……"

The inside of my head went pure white. Louie really has a habit of saying some truly incredible things from time to time! And even Eru's growling in agreement.

"Umm, Rittei?"

The Rittei looked down, troubled, when I pa.s.sed the baton to him in a panic.

"I was also waiting for you to wake, so I haven't been paying much attention to anything else……"

Even the Rittei was saying things like that! What an unexpected ambush. Were there just a lot of very pa.s.sionate people in the Kingdom of Gallè?

"Does anyone know?"

There was no way that n.o.body knew. But everyone one tensed up and held their breath for some reason when I looked to them as I thought this. They were so nervous that I even I was starting to get nervous.

I had a terrible feeling about this. My eyes met the stubbled man's. But he swiftly looked away before I could ask him anything.

"Was there a problem?"

The unnatural silence. This strange feeling that something was wrong wasn't just my imagination.

I didn't have an exact grasp on how many knights there were. I hadn't had the time to count how many knights I'd resurrected because we had been surrounded by Reims in the building where I found Louie earlier. I didn't remember everyone's faces. But I remembered the number and faces of the people I'd resurrected near the temple.

I didn't know all of their names, but I knew their faces.

"The Rittei, Ilfai, Dilcarette, Clara……"

And then there was the man with the dark blond hair, the stubbled man, the man who confronted everyone else a lot……, I realized who was missing as I confirmed everyone who was present. The man in his fifties and the man in his thirties were missing.

"Two people are missing, right?"

I asked everyone as I wanted to believe this wasn't true. It had become rather difficult to tell since our numbers had increased after the knights had joined up with us. I strongly hoped that I was mistaken.

"You remember well,"

Ilfai said with a disagreeable click of his tongue. My chest tightened as fear and panic began to bud in my heart.

"Where are they?"

"They went to another room to go about their business,"

Ilfai replied calmly.

But if that was true, then why was everyone so nervous?

"Then can I go check on them?"

"Hey, hold on a minute. Why would a young girl like you want to see grown men doing their business? That's the very epitome of shamelessness."

But I wasn't one to be fooled by his words.

"I wouldn't go there personally. I'd have Eru check on them for me."

Eru, whom I was leaning against, twitched. The fur all over his body was sticking out like a hedgehog, maybe because he was trying to desperately hide how uneasy he was.

"——The two of them went outside,"

said Dilcarette, who was sitting just a little farther away while looking at me with a strict look in her eyes.

"They went outside?"

I closed my mouth for a moment and gauged everyone's responses. Sitting around me as I leaned against Eru were Louie, Clara, and the knights. For whatever reason, there were a lot of knights who were treating me politely, though it could have to do with the fact that I'd fought and overcome danger together with them. There were a few knights who looked at me dubiously, but they were sitting a little farther away.

Ilfai, the Rittei, Dilcarette, and the stubbled man were gathered next to us, and everyone else was huddled up at the far back reaches of the hidden room. Of course, there were a few people, like the man with dark blond hair, who were sitting alone away from everyone else. To sum it up, it was kinda like we had split off into three groups.

But maybe this wasn't exactly a good trend to follow.

I returned my gaze to Dilcarette and began thinking. She had only ever shown me the exact opposite of good will. But that was also why she would give things to me straight without lying or trying to trick me out of consideration for my feelings.

"……Why did they go outside?"

"Isn't it obvious if you think about it?"

Shoot, I forgot that there was also the possibility that she'd refuse to answer me entirely.

——You are such an unintelligent girl, Master. The answer is simple. Most probably, they ignored the others' efforts to stop them and went outside because they could not bear to wait for you to return.

Solt answered readily in Dilcarette's stead with sarcasm p.r.i.c.kling in his voice.

My return……did that mean that they went outside when there weren't any more Reims because I'd been gone for a whole night after leaving to find Louie and they got tired of waiting?

"Where did they go?"

I turned back to Ilfai. I had a feeling that he would tell me, albeit reluctantly, now that the cat was out of the bag.

"I don't know."

I found myself at a loss for words at the curtness of his response.

"……. Ilfai, you really don't know?"

I tried pleading with him, and Ilfai let out a deep sigh and brushed back his hair as was his habit. His hair would become a bird's nest if he kept messing with it like that. And it was such a pretty color too.

"They determined that you wouldn't be returning to us and left in search of safety this morning——just a little before you came back with the knights. Naturally, we tried to stop them multiple times because it was dangerous."

"Why did you let them do something like that?!"

"We let down the barrier while there weren't any Reims so we could conserve even a little more magic. If it was only the appearance of monsters we had to worry about, even I could stand against them with what little sorcery I remember. But they evidently couldn't bear it any longer."

"It's much more reckless to go outside with just the two of them!"

Shouldn't they have stopped them, even if it meant knocking them out?

"Let me tell you that one of them was the head priest. He mentioned his social standing and yelled at us not to speak out of line…"

"——Will social standing hold back the Reims or the monsters?"

I replied sharply on reflex. Deep wrinkles formed on Ilfai's brows as he snorted.

"I suppose the Holy One doesn't know about the stubborn discrimination that permeates the mundane world. The rest of us aren't so tolerant that we'll think things through carefully and kindly stop them after they'd looked down on us to the extent they did."

Ilfai abruptly turned to his side, thoroughly put out.

If social standing was the problem, then the Rittei also seemed to be pretty high up the ladder, so why had he allowed the two of them to do as they'd pleased?

"Oh, and there's political enmity within the temple too. The head priest is in opposition to the Rittei."

I shot Ilfai a scolding look that said, Ilfai, you can't keep making snide comments like that! and he turned the corners of his lips downward like a rebellious child. Then, he began to comb at the tangled mess of his on his head and began to straighten it out this time.

The head priest……may be able to use some magic, just maybe. But that wouldn't be enough to protect himself from the countless Reims that appeared incessantly throughout the night.

"Her return was delayed because she was rescuing us,"

proclaimed the kind-looking knight named Juvist as though he was covering for me.

I could tell by looking at everyone's faces that they were all feeling something that they did not dare express openly. Sure enough, the man who always spoke out against everyone else glared at Juvist in discontent.

"Yeah, and she put the rest of us in danger while she was at it."

Juvist furrowed his brows at the other man's sarcastic words.

"……They aren't fools. They'll likely return once they perceive danger,"

the Rittei said with a face full of regret. Just then, I heard the sharp cry of a monster coming from far away.

"Just now…"

Ilfai, who had been scuffling with his disheveled hair, stopped combing and turned his strict eyes on me.

"Don't say that you want to go outside again. The two of them left this place of their own accord."

"But!"

I looked around at everyone as I sensed the denial in the air. I see, so they kept the fact that two people had left from me because they want to stop me from going outside again.

——The Reim have begun to awaken.

An image of the Reims transforming into their complete form popped into my head when I heard Solt's voice. A gruesome scene of Reims crying out that heartrending cry as they destroyed and devoured their own bodies.

"The two of them are in danger."

I felt like I heard another voice mixed in with the monsters' cries when I grasped Solt tightly in my hands. Weren't their voices too far away for anyone to hear them normally?

"Is Silvai's power at work……?"

Silvai was the G.o.d of the wind and the atmosphere. Voices made the air quiver. Maybe that was why they reached my ears?

"I hear people screaming."

The people who'd left were on their way back to the temple!

I suddenly grew dizzy the very moment I tried to stand up with my divine sword in hand and staggered.

Louie held me up before I could fall. My stamina hadn't returned yet. A cold sweat ran down my back.

"Hibiki, you mustn't!"

"……I heard them. Their screams. They're being attacked by monsters!"

I replied as I clung to Louie's arms to support my weight. I continued,

"I have to go. They'll get killed."

"Hibiki!"

Louie shouted at me with such ferocity he could have slapped me across the cheek when I focused my attention on the direction where the screams had come from. He continued,

"Do you understand what kind of state you're in? You mustn't move!"

"But they're being attacked!"

There was no emotion in Louie's face as he looked down at me. But, only his moon-colored eyes shone with a light that was either hatred or fury—I couldn't tell.

"So, what are you planning to do about it?"

"What am I…?"

I gulped before the threatening look in his eyes.

"Lady Hibiki."

The Rittei suddenly called my name.

"Why do you know my name……?"

I was only surprised for a moment before I realized that Louie had called me by my name just earlier.

"Please bear with it. ——I was here all night protecting the barrier after you left to rescue the Moon General. I do not know if it is because I resurrected only recently, but my magic levels are close to nonexistent at the moment. But I have erected yet another barrier despite my condition. It pains me to say this, but I am truly at my limit."

"Rittei…"

"You are supporting almost the entirety of the barrier by yourself right now. All I've done is to draw the foundations for the barrier. I wouldn't be able to draw the foundations again if you left it, much less maintain it on my own."

I looked back at the Rittei's ashen face. There was no doubt that he, who had supported me as I faced off against the Reims right after he had resurrected and had also created a barrier afterward, needed rest more than anyone else.

"It was my sin for letting them go. I implore you to punish me, but stay here with us."

"……I don't plan on punis.h.i.+ng you."

"Hibiki, or whatever your name is. You're barely able to move yourself. Just bear with it for now,"

Ilfai said suddenly but gently.

But, ahh, listen, they're screaming again!

I was certain that I'd felt a wave of something packed with just one feeling——help us!

What should I do? I couldn't ask someone else to go rescue them in my place. Everyone was exhausted in both mind and body. Eru was the fastest present, but he had already been moving nonstop to help me.

And more importantly, I couldn't send somebody outside now that the Reims had begun to awaken.

"If I don't hurry……!"

Is there a way to protect the barrier AND save them!?

"……Solt."

Louie looked at me sternly when I uttered Solt's name.

This was my only option. If the barrier would break if I went outside. Then all I had to do was construct another one.

"I'll create the Sea of Trees again."

I could go and save them while the Sea of Trees protected everyone else. I was sure that Solt's barrier wouldn't break even if I stepped out of it.

"That wouldn't happen to be the barrier you erected in the training room……?"

Juvist looked tense as he spoke. The other knights, too, stared at me wordlessly.

Solt, please make the Sea of Trees again.

——I refuse.

I was astounded, as I had never dreamed that he would refuse.

Why not?!

——Do you wish to die, Master?! How much blood do you think you lost the first time around? Don't shed your blood without good reason. Listen well, spells that require the use of blood are taboo, and you mustn't use them so frequently!

But I can't think up of any other way!

What am I supposed to do?

——Don't do anything. You are my master who called upon me, even though you are but a weak little girl, are you not?

I felt a note of sorrow in Solt's voice, which normally would have been filled with sarcasm by now.

Right, I knew Solt's name for some reason. I had seen so many dreams. The divine sword's name shone with a distinct radiance in the hazy mist of my memories. It was a name that I knew I must never lose.

I bit down at my lip. I was too powerless. I didn't have a means to save them.

But to think that I couldn't do anything but overlook the fact that they were in danger­——.

"Then why did I…"

…Come to this world? I had already sacrificed more than enough people.

That unforgettable night at Urs. What was different between then and now?

"For us, Hibiki."

Louie said firmly. The Rittei, too, touched my arm gently.

"Please don't go."

"……But I…"

The Rittei shook his head a little.

"There's no need for you to go and save them. The head priest is capable of protecting himself."

Then the man who often spoke to the contrary spoke up quickly. Several people nodded in agreement as he said,

"I'm begging you, don't put everyone here in danger just for the few."

"……The few aren't lives worth saving?"

"What?"

"Are the few "lives to be cast away" whenever it's convenient?"

Silence fell upon us for a short time. ……I immediately regretted asking such a stupid question. Was I planning on making them the bad guys so I could pretend to be the only voice of justice?

"We would stop you even still, girl. Sit down,"

even Ilfai demanded this of me. Someone began to pull at my robes when I stood there unmoving.

I turned around to find Eru with my sleeve in his mouth as if he, too, was telling me to sit.

"The reason I came here…"

"I understand,"

Louie said, cutting me off. There was anguish in his eyes. It was only then that I'd finally realized that he was making a conscious effort to appear indifferent. He continued,

"I finally understand. But you mustn't go right now."

I looked down at my feet with Solt, my divine sword, still grasped tightly in my hands.

I felt everyone's eyes on me. Most of them objected to me leaving the barrier.

……What am I thinking right now?

I covered my forehead with one hand. A pain that made me seem to shrink back into myself coursed through my body when I brushed against the area where the divine stone was.

"Please, Lady Hibiki."

The Rittei took my hand.

Right now, there was a part of me that was relieved that everyone had stopped me like this. I mean, my body felt so heavy, and it hurt so much. Such cowardly feelings were hiding in the depths of my heart. Even as I a.s.serted that I "wanted to go and save them," deep down, I think that I firmly expected Louie and the others to stop me.

Like I'd be a bad example if I didn't at least pretend to try to save them.

I'd shamelessly put on a mask of justice just now, and this was why. So that I'd have the excuse of saying ——I wanted to go and save them, but everyone else was against it, later.

It's so I don't have to bear any responsibility for this, isn't it? I ascertained to myself in my shock.

"How could I…"

Plus, to be honest, I was a little annoyed at the two for going outside despite knowing about the danger.

Why did I feel this way?——I was afraid of everyone learning about the dark feelings hiding in my heart. These th.o.r.n.y, cowardly feelings. I'm sure a part of me was screaming, Stop messing around and being so reckless! somewhere in rage…….

My own thoughts gave me gooseb.u.mps. It was only natural that Dilcarette and the others were so wary of me, since I was hiding away feelings like these.

I wanted to cover my face in my hands. I got sick of myself every time I peered into my own feelings.

"You ought to rest. It is wrong for you to have to be responsible for those who acted of their own accord."

Louie wrapped an arm around my waist and urged me to sit down on the floor. My feelings of wanting to rest, my feelings of wanting to throw it all away, and my feelings of wanting to go and save them. They had all melted together and I was no longer able to tell which one of them was the undeniable truth. Was it really okay for me to just rest as if I hadn't heard anything? I felt the atmosphere s.h.i.+ver just as I was about to fall to the temptation of doing so. It was an urgent call for help that was hardly any different from a shriek.

"——I can't."

I couldn't deceive myself. There was no mistake that my irritation at the two of them and my feelings of wanting to escape my responsibilities were all things that had been born from my own heart.

But, I was sure that my feelings of wanting everyone to stay safe were also real. And it looked like I was right.

"I'm sorry, I…"

I would get Solt's cooperation even if I had to force him to do it and construct the Sea of Trees again. Then, I'd leave Solt here. There wasn't any need for me to defeat any monsters or face off against the Reims.

I felt bad for always relying on him, but I could borrow Eru's strength again and race to their rescue at full speed and escape back here. I couldn't think of any other way to make things work right now.

But just as I was about to tell them that I would be stepping out of the barrier anyway.

"Hyah!"

Somebody violently pushed me down to a sitting position and brought my arms behind my back.

My divine sword was also forcefully taken out of my hands.

"W, what!?"

I was like a handcuffed criminal. Something that felt like cloth was tied tightly around my wrists, which had been forcefully brought behind my back. I tried to stand back up in a panic, but someone……Louie put a hand on my shoulder to keep me from moving.

"I am going to have you stay here,"

I heard Louie's frigid voice from somewhere behind me.

"Louie!? What are you doing?!"

"You really are unreasonable."

"I, I can't believe you'd actually tie my wrists together!"

"I'm the one who's in disbelief. About what you're thinking, that is."

"You're so mean!"

"Who's the one being cruel here?!"

I cringed in fright at the roughness of his response. He continued,

"if you really want to go outside that badly, you can go over my dead body after you've undone your restraints."

"You don't have to put it that way!"

I tried to glare back at Louie but ended up catching my breath instead. There was something colder and more ruthless about his expression than usual.

"That's enough from you—trying to do something that's way past your limits is no different from what a selfish child would do."

"Wha……!"

To think that Louie would say that to me.

It was so mean. I was on the brink of flaring up at him again in the heat of the moment before I stopped myself. There was an emotion in Louie's eyes that was so dark and pa.s.sionately violent that it chilled me to the bone. It was terrifying, but it was also so pretty.

"Why are you like this? Why must you be so reckless?"

he said like he was spitting the words out as he turned away. My chest immediately began to hurt. Had even Louie finally decided to give up on me too?

"Louie."

"You let go my hand so readily. ——Would you at least grant me an order?"

he whispered quietly in my ear. He continued,

"no, you don't even intend to ask me to come with you. Am I really that useless? ……And I had only just finished telling you that I wanted to be your sword; Hibiki, why must you make such a villain out of me?"

"That's not it……, I just didn't want you to have to fight the Reims again, Louie."

"I don't need such kindness."

There was distress in his eyes when they looked to me again. We looked at each other for a short while.

"——Do you know where they are?"

Juvist suddenly dropped to his knees before me. I returned to my senses and turned to face him.

"Huh……?"

"The place where they are. You said that you heard them screaming, but I couldn't tell. There is no need for you to step outside of the barrier. There is still a brief amount of time before the Reims truly start attacking. I will go and bring them back."

Several other knights knelt as he had while he was speaking.

"You can't; there are monsters."

"We are knights. We've gathered some weapons and we'll be borrowing a few ritual tools."

"It's not only monsters. There'll be more Reims, too. I have to be the one that goes."

"There's no time for discussion! Where are they?!"

I closed my mouth shut when he yelled at me. He was right in that the two of them were in danger even as we continued to argue like this. But, I hesitated because I couldn't really explain where they were very well. I didn't really know about the temple's layout, and I couldn't really tell how far away they were either.

Eru cooed just then.

Eru, who's senses were sharp, could tell where the monsters were.

"……Eru."

I'm sorry for always putting you in danger like this. I'm so sorry.

"Lead the knights to where they are."

It hurt so much just to tell him this. I had to send him into the darkness when I couldn't be there with him. Eru licked my cheek once and turned to the Rittei. So that he could leave the barrier.

"Are you guys sure about this?"

Ilfai asked Juvist and the other knights while emphasizing his point. Juvist nodded slightly and turned to me with a small smile.

"Please don't make that face. We'll be back soon. I don't intend to die here."

"……Okay. I'll be waiting."

"Well then."

Juvist bowed to me and signaled his comrades with his eyes. They left the room with Eru, their guide.

Louie wouldn't undo my restraints even after the knights' footsteps faded far away. It felt like he was paying even more attention to me now that Eru, ever the reliable one, wasn't here.

I was pretty sure he wouldn't trust me even if I promised I wouldn't leave.

It was harder than I'd thought to keep sitting in such an uncomfortable position. Louie found out that I was pitching forward a little.

"Please lean against me."

He pulled my shoulder closer to himself. It made me all the sadder because he was paying such kind consideration toward me.

"Juvist is a skilled knight. There's no need to worry over him,"

Louie told me pointedly.

"……Really?"

"Yes. Though there are many who are deceived by his mild demeanor. He is a man with a steady sword."

I could tell that he was trying to hold back that violent pa.s.sion from earlier so he wouldn't worry me. I let out a shallow sigh. n.o.body had any leisure to spare. And that probably included Louie.

And besides, I don't think he's forgiven me in his heart yet.

"……I am your knight."

"Huh?"

"I will only be thinking about your survival, no matter who may criticize me for it. And I will only continue to do so."

"Louie, but I…"

"Even if you are the one criticizing me."

Louie said as much to me before he cast a chilly expression at Solt, who was placed by my side, as if it was his rival. Then, he continued,

"and that is why I will not untie your restraints. I'll tie you down no matter how many times I must if that's what it takes to keep you alive."

"Louie."

"Please don't forget that I want to release you even less the more you plead."

I didn't know how to reply to him, so I awkwardly scooched closer to his chest instead.

The air around him felt kind and sympathetic despite the harshness of his words. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, but I was sure that I had been the one who had cornered him this far. This fact made my chest grate.

n.o.body spoke. There was only a heavy air that hung over the room.

An explosion echoed from somewhere. Everyone abruptly turned toward it.

"The knights used a ritual tool."

I was worried about the two people who had gone outside, but the knights who had gone to save them were also risking their lives.

Juvist and the other knights might get killed. I finally felt how real that possibility was. I really was as stupid as Solt said I was.

"Please don't die."

I couldn't do anything but wish for this.

***

Part 2

"They've returned."

Everybody was looking down in melancholy by the time we became able to hear the Reims' cries. Ilfai whispered as he turned to the door.

The Rittei went to welcome the knights back at the farthest edges of the barrier. A stormy presence drew closer and the door was violently thrown open.

I staggered as I tried to get up. My balance had crumbled because my wrists were still tied behind my back. Louie saved me before I crashed down on the floor.

"Eru!"

The Rittei stopped Eru in a panic before he could come charging at me right off the bat. The Rittei had to touch anyone entering the barrier so that they wouldn't be repelled by it. The knights came into view shortly after Eru had.

My heart grew cold. Some of the knights were injured. And…

"Sir Banotsuelli."

The Rittei called someone's name once all of the knights were back inside the barrier. The man in his fifties was being supported up by one of the knights. One of his sleeves were dyed red with blood. He was so emaciated that he couldn't even walk on his own, and his breathing was rough.

"You're injured. I'll cast a healing spell on you."

Clara walked up to Banotsuelli, who was sitting on the floor now, and began casting her spell.

"Sir Banotsuelli, what happened to Sir Meyer?"

Ilfai asked in a whisper as he crouched down before the exhausted man. It looked like Banotsuelli and Meyer were the names of the two people who had gone outside the barrier.

"I regret to say…"

One of the knights shook his head and began to answer in Banotsuelli's stead when the latter simply sat around in a blank daze.

No, did that mean…?

"……that he wasn't killed. He committed suicide."

Banotsuelli suddenly opened his mouth. Restlessly, he explained that Meyer had slit his own throat before the monsters could kill him.

I was speechless. Why, why did he kill himself?!

Banotsuelli's empty eyes opened wide when he coincidentally happened to look my way. And then, all of his hatred settled on me alone.

"Why?! Why have you returned now, of all times?!!"

He moved to grab hold of me with unexpected speed. I was caught by surprise and wasn't able to move. Ilfai and Louie stood between us as my s.h.i.+elds before he could.

But Banotsuelli struggled violently against them and continued to raise his voice at me in rage.

"Why couldn't you return earlier?! It's your fault that Meyer committed suicide!"

"Its…my fault……?"

I felt like something had slammed against my chest with a bam and faltered. Fear began to spread throughout my heart.

It's my fault? The tips of my fingers went cold in my confusion and I began to tremble.

"That's enough, Sir Banotsuelli. Take a good look at the girl. She's injured too."

Banotsuelli brushed away Ilfai's words with a single glare.

"The reason she couldn't return immediately was because she was protecting us. And after that, she was unconscious."

But Banotsuelli ignored Juvist as well and turned his eyes, so filled with hatred that they could bore through my chest, at me.

"Are you going to continue siding with the knights and abandon the rest of us?!"

"I told you to take a good look at her. Why do you think the girl's tied up? It's because she tried to go and save you two even if it meant destroying the barrier,"

Ilfai said with a stern look on his face. I couldn't take my eyes off of Banotsuelli even for a moment. I felt like my deception would become more obvious the more others tried to cover for me.

Someone took their own life. My head was filled by that single thought.

"To save us——to save us?! How dare you, after all you've done to torture Meyer!"

I couldn't move because my chest hurt so much. It hurt to breathe.

Banotsuelli's words, which felt like they were cras.h.i.+ng physically against my entire body, reverberated in my heart as well.

"Bring Meyer back. You have a rare power, don't you?—if you can turn us back human, then you should be able to bring someone back to life as well!"

"Banotsuelli!"

The Rittei rebuked Banotsuelli sharply, unable to remain silent any longer, but the older man paid him no heed continued to repeatedly urge me to bring Meyer back to life. ——I was subconsciously terrified by his words.

I shook my head in a daze. I didn't even realize that Louie had taken me into his arms as I was single-mindedly terrified by Banotsuelli's words. I'm so scared; I don't want to listen to him anymore. I'm so, so scared.

"I can't."

"You can't!?"

"I can't; it's impossible to bring people back to li—"

"But you resurrected us, didn't you?!"

"That's because you were Reims…"

"Then there's hardly any difference, so bring Meyer back!"

"I can't, I really can't!"

"The mercy of the G.o.ds does not pick and choose which people to bless. Are you trying to say that Meyer sinned in some way?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying. It has nothing to do with sin."

"It has to pertain to sin. Or to status, or gender, or age, or even faith!!"

"No, that's not—"

"Then does it have to do with your will? Just who even are you; is your power a false one?!"

"That's not it; even the G.o.ds aren't allowed to bring people back from the dead."

"Do you really think things are that convenient——?!"

"That's enough, Banotsuelli!"

Ilfai and the Rittei tried to cover his mouth. But he struggled against them and continued wailing. "Meyer, Meyer, Meyer!" he called out as though he was cursing me with his name. My head was filled with the name "Meyer". Meyer resented me. He hated me. He was spitting blood as he cursed me. Mayer mixed in together with the residents of Urs in pointing their fingers at me in blame. Why did you kill us, why did you abandon us, why why why?!!

"Stop……!"

I couldn't stop myself from trembling. What do I do, this…!

I had always wanted to meet the people of this kingdom. We might not be able to become friends right away, but I had believed that we would be able to walk down the same path hand in hand as time pa.s.sed. I had never thought that I would be met with such hatred that overpowered even rejection.

What do I do, it hurts so much to be here that I can't stand it!!

Louie quickly tried to cover my ears for some reason. But it was far too late.

Because I had already heard the scream that had come next.

"Just who asked you to turn us back human?!!"

Who——?

"We would have been so much happier if we didn't turn back human, especially if turning back meant that we would have to go through so much pain—am I wrong? We're surrounded by monsters, and the kingdom is fallen! All you did was to put Meyer —put all of us— through unnecessary pain. You turned him back human after he had finally escaped despair, made him taste despair again, and ultimately let him die!"

His words pierced through my chest like bullets and everything I heard sounded like it was coming from far away for a moment. I could only hear my ears ringing as my consciousness was carried somewhere far away.

Oh, so that's how it was.

None of the people in this kingdom had wanted to be resurrected.

And yet I had one-sidedly thought that turning them back human would make them happy. I had supported my heart with that.

I had pretended to be some kind of savior and pushed my opinions on everyone else by saying it was hope, by telling them to live, by telling them to bear with it……, I hated myself. Just what had made me get so carried away?

"——I'm sor—"

It was true about Louie too. I had known that he keenly wished for repose, but I dragged him around with me and put him through so much pain anyway.

The only thing that I had done was to resurrect people and force them to re-confirm the despair before them.

The people of Urs, the G.o.ds, Louie, and Meyer—I had sacrificed them all, and for what?

I'd gotten something fundamentally wrong, hadn't I?

"I thought it was the right thing to do…"

It had all been an illusion. An illusion meant only for me, so that I could be saved……. I want to disappear.

I should've just stayed in heaven. If I had, I could had stayed there without suffering so much pain.

How do I turn back time? I want to go back. I want to wipe the slate clean.

"I choose to suffer."

Someone's voice dropped down onto my crushed heart. I looked up in a daze to find the stubbled man speaking to no one in particular even as he continued to treat the wounded knights. He continued,

"I choose to suffer as a human being over escaping despair. Or rather, I want to protect others even if I can't see them with my own eyes and I want to die as a person. I prefer to keep a human heart that I can despair with, even if it'll eventually lead me to suicide. I want to be able to remain proud when all of this is pa.s.sed on to our children one day as history. My life can be as the kingdom's flesh and blood."

We were born and we were resurrected because the world itself longed for us to live, don't you think?——he finished before he glance up and smiled bashfully.

"Certainly, I'd rather not wander around eternally as a monster,"

Ilfai whispered as he messed up his hair, which he had been in the process of combing down, again. Then, he surveyed around the room and said,

"but I also don't intend to push my opinions on anyone else. Wanting to be at peace is something you can do only if you're human. If there are any among you who want the despair to end, I'll help you end your life without any pain."

"Sir Ilfai."

The Rittei looked up to Ilfai with a slight frown on his face.

"I'm offering to let people die in an instant. I'm sure no one wants to turn into a monster again, no? Unless they do, my words should be a kindness,"

Ilfai responded decisively with a moody look on his face and took on an arrogant pose. When no one spoke up, he continued,

"or is it that everyone here wants to survive? Will you continue to struggle in the midst of suffering? There might only be more agony at the end. But, we may also be able to see another scene come to pa.s.s. Being a witness to history doesn't sound all that bad to me."

"……You say such good things from time to time, but you end up making enemies because you say too much that you don't need to."

The Rittei sighed.

"I never say anything unnecessary. The problem lies with the listener. Though I'm sure they only feel the way they do because something weighs guilty on their consciousness."

"Like I said, you say too much."

"It's something you can only do if you're human, as I said earlier. It applies to feeling guilty too."

"We feel fear because we're alive. We lament. We get upset. And we pave out our tomorrows. Am I wrong?"

"——No, you're right. Life itself is a miracle."

The Rittei smiled gently.

Someone began to weep. I'm sure that Banotsuelli's outcry was something that had represented what everyone was feeling. That was why they rejected me for suddenly jumping into the fray and doing as I pleased.

But, just now, I felt like Ilfai's words had been just as strong as Banotsuelli's and had managed to plant a small seed of light in everyone's hearts.

"And it's not as though we'll be suffering alone. We'll share is amongst everyone here. It's not something we need to be so pessimistic about if we do."

The Rittei smiled wryly at Ilfai's brazen att.i.tude. Ilfai continued,

"and what of you, Sir Head Priest? If you think that you'd be better off dead, I will a.s.sist you. But first I'll have to ask you to reveal the whereabouts of the treasured wine and the forbidden tomes."

"Sir Ilfai! This is exactly what I was speaking about!"

Ilfai abruptly turned away as he was admonished by the Rittei, who was the younger of the two by far. Silence hung in the air for a bit after that.

I stared off into s.p.a.ce. I didn't know what was okay for me to think about.

"……I had two daughters. And a son."

Banotsuelli began his monologue as his cheeks became wet with his tears. His eyes pierced through me. Was he about to blame me? Fear coursed its way throughout my body. But the violent rage that he had displayed earlier had vanished completely from his face. He continued,

"my son became a knight, one of my daughters went off to get married, and my youngest daughter —why yes— she was just about your age."

"……My age…"

Banotsuelli slowly extended his hands toward me. No one stopped him this time.

They were wet with blood, but his fingers were warm as they gently stroked my cheek. He peered behind me and untied the cloth around my wrists.

"When people first started turning into those monsters. I wanted to help my daughters escape, but even the countries neighboring ours were swept up in the same whirlpool of calamity……and I was desperately running around in search of somewhere safe where they could stay."

"Mmm……"

"I told her that she was never to leave her room, but my daughter opened the door to look for me because I hadn't returned for a while. And they she was attacked by monsters right before my eyes——I couldn't save her; and my daughter's screams still won't fade from my ears."

Banotsuelli gently fixed the messy bundle that my hair was tied up in with loving hands. ……When was the last time I had been touched by my own parents like this—like I was their precious treasure? I couldn't remember. I was jealous of his daughter. Then, Banotsuelli asked,

"why did you step outside the barrier the other day? Why couldn't you stay where it was safe like you were told?"

"……I didn't want others to die, and it hurt to be the only one to be saved."

"I see. I see, so then, was my daughter hurting too?"

For just one brief moment, the solemn look of a father seeped into Banotsuelli's pained and rugged face like a faint drop of color. Tears silently poured down his cheeks. He quickly closed his eyes as if to hide away the feelings that threatened to overflow. Then, he asked,

"will I be able to hold my daughter in my arms again? Will I be able to see my son's gallant figure with my own eyes again? ——I want to apologize to Meyer's family. I forced him to go outside with me. He wanted so badly to return to this room. I want to atone for that."

"……Your prayers will reach. You'll be able to see your children again."

I wrapped my arms around Banotsuelli, who still had tears falling down his strict-looking face, and hugged him.

It wasn't that hope had returned to me. And it wasn't that I planned to forget what I had done. It was simply that I felt like all of the pain, distress, and fear that had been running rampart in my heart would be washed away along with his tears.

People were amazing. They gave up quickly and their hearts broke if they were acting for themselves, but they could withstand any pain if it was for someone who was precious to them.

Everyone, I'm sorry for bringing you back to life. I'll be sure to atone too.

I'll pray so much that it'll fill this entire kingdom to the brim. Then there'll be no more room for the nightmares.

"We are knights, and we swore to shoulder any burden of suffering the very day we took up our swords. As proof of our oaths, we will live for the kingdom and for her people."

Juvist resolutely looked up and turned to me. Then, with unwavering eyes, he asked, "Does the kingdom still yet live?"

"It lives. ——As long as you all survive."

The knights crouched down as one and knelt on the floor. Louie took one of my arms off of Banotsuelli and gently grasped my fingers.

"I will live together with you."

After uttering his quiet oath, he joined the other knights in their pose of fealty.

I squeezed Louie's fingers back and turned to looked at everyone. Faces that still looked lost, faces that were afraid of tomorrow, faces that held a strong will hidden within. Many faces were lined up next to each other.

I wanted these people to laugh one day. A giant wish suddenly rose up within me.

"I'm sorry for making you go through so much pain. But the kingdom will be revived as long as you're all here. So first, please survive the night. And I want you to want to survive tomorrow night too. And the night after tomorrow's, and the night after that."

So that we'll meet the people who are important to us again.

Let's garnish all the times that we hurt in the past with pretty flowers one day.

***

Everybody rested in the silence that the barrier protected.

I, too, was leaning against Eru to rest. I was secretly touching one of Louie's fingers as he sat beside me. I say I was doing it secretly, but it was only natural that Louie knew about it since I was touching him.

The knights had begun maintaining their weapons after they had finished being treated for their wounds.

Dilcarette and Clara had begun distributing out food from the storage to everyone.

I felt like I'd fall dead asleep in I let myself lay down completely flat, so I kept myself awake by thinking about various things. I had to avoid really falling asleep because the fact that the Rittei and Ilfai called me Holy One would become a total joke if I did.

"Hibiki."

"Hmm?"

Louie called out to me quietly, as though he didn't want to break this peaceful atmosphere that we hadn't had in a while.

I turned to him to find him silent in deep remorse and hesitation.

I had a feeling that I knew what he wanted to say.

"It's okay. You didn't do anything wrong, Louie."

He probably wanted to talk about our exchange in the training room and the argument we had just earlier. Louie was kind, so he was probably still putting my feelings on priority and killing his own heart. I didn't want that to happen again.

It had been his personal decision to rob me of my freedom. He probably felt partially responsible for Meyer's death too. But he wasn't responsible for what had happened in the training room. He had ended up having to kill his comrades because of the defect in the magic circle for translocation.

I had no doubt that he would be reminded of that scene at every turn and would suffer because of it from now on. A lot of people would console him and tell him that "he couldn't help it," but I was sure that the wounds on his heart would only increase every time a knight was resurrected.

I wanted him to call on me if, one day in the far future, the friends and families of the knights he had killed criticized him and hated on him. I wanted to explain why he had had no choice but to take their lives. It wasn't Louie who had caused the reason for that.

"——Are you disappointed?"

"There's no way I would be. That…"

"Why did I blame you back then……?"

"It's okay that you did. I'm just happy that you're alive, Louie."

Louie turned his gaze downward ever so slightly. It made me sad that I always only ever made him look like this.

"May I still stay by your side?"

he asked with anxiety leaking into his visage. Of course you can; I want you to. But I stopped myself just before I answered. If he stayed close to me, would he have to see so many cruel realities that it wore down his heart?

"You aren't alone anymore, you know, Louie?"

Everyone was here. He had true companions around him, and not just someone from another country like me. I had no doubt that, even if it took some time, they could regain their peace one day if he was with them. After all, he had always longed so, so much for someone to be with. I continued,

"from now on, you aren't allowed to cover for me and get hurt or sad because of it."

While I was happy for him on one hand, a loneliness that I must never put into words coursed through my chest on the other. Louie's, Eru's, and my journey together with just the three of us was over. I smiled to pretend I wasn't lonely.

I couldn't keep restraining Louie like this. I had to return him to where everyone else was.

"Thank you for everything. I'm so glad you were the first person I met, Louie."

Louie looked back at me in a daze as though time had stopped. Why was he looking at me like that?

"——Hibiki. What do you mean by that?"

He looked like he was keenly suppressing his emotions. I was confused. Was something wrong?

But I knew that Louie had been looking for comrades through me. His wish had finally become a reality, so why…?

"I swore that I would be by your side."

"Y, yeah. But…"

"What about you?"

"Me……?"

His moon-colored eyes pierced through me. It felt like they were pleading with me, or rebuking me——, or trying to bite into me.

"Can I not be as your sword? If not, what kind of being do I need to be?"

"What king of being…?"

"Am I being tested? Do I need to shed more blood in order to touch you?"

"Wait, Louie. What are you……?"

"Hibiki. Please, I'm begging you——don't turn me into a beast."

"……Huh?"

"Let me remain as the knight you envision me to be."

I was fl.u.s.tered as I looked back at Louie, who was grasping my fingers. He had thrown similar words at me before.

"Um, Louie?"

But just as I was about to ask. Someone called out, "Girl," from beside me.

It was Ilfai, who had been waiting for a chance to speak.

"I know you're in the middle of a conversation, but can I borrow you for a bit?"

"……Okay."

I could tell that Louie had abruptly drawn himself back in from the air around him.

I was a little regretful that our conversation had been cut short, but I turned to face Ilfai, who was now sitting in front of me, anyway. I was a little lonely that Louie's fingers weren't touching mine anymore.

"You said yesterday that you were heading for the capital. Why?"

Ilfai seemed to be piquing with curiosity. It felt like he was determined not to miss even the slightest change in my expressions.

"To revive the princes."

The knights who had sat down close by and the Rittei all drew their attention to me as soon as I answered.

"The princes?"

"Yeah."

Then, Ilfai hmm-ed and began to mess around with his hair again. What should I do?—I have this sudden impulse to comb down Ilfai's hair.

The Rittei, too, stared at his hair poignantly as if he was of the same opinion as me. The Rittei's eyes was fixed on Ilfai's hair, but his next question was direct to me.

"But, how were you planning to tell apart Their Highnesses, who have lost their original forms?"

That was the problem. Naturally, the princes had been turned into Reims too. Wouldn't the princes be in the palace, where they were used to being, going off of the fact that Reims seemed to have some kind of homing instinct?

"Um, is there a castle nearby? Or a manor that the princes lived in?"

"There's the palace, but……. There's quite a bit of distance between the temple and the palace district. You won't run into any Reims if you travel during the day, but there are likely more dangers here in the capital than any other town or city."

"What do you mean?"

The Rittei cast a hesitant look at Ilfai's direction.

"There are more people near the palace, and it's heavily guarded. He means that the area is flooded with all manner of demonbeasts that sorcerers and summoners had contracted. A lot of monsters probably gathered there to hunt the beasts,"

Ilfai explained to me as though he found something about it unpleasant. Oh, I see. Ilfai was a sorcerer. Maybe he had summoned a demonbeast too. But yeah, that meant that we'd really need to be careful when moving around the capital.

"It would be possible to translocate directly to the palace district if we had the ritual tools for it, but…"

the Rittei said regretfully, and I quickly turned my gaze to him.

"We can translocate to the castle?"

"Yes. But, someone made off with the ritual tools to do so when calamity fell upon the kingdom. Because of this, we weren't able to stop the chaos from spreading in the capital and the destruction only quickened."

"I see."

I nodded quietly before I realized something.

"Is a charm needle the ritual tool you need for translocation?"

"Yes."

"All right!"

"……Pardon?"

I was enshrouded by joy. The Rittei looked back at me in blank amazement.

I had a charm needle! If I recalled correctly, I saved the charm needle that we used to translocate from Lavann with in the sash of my long robe……but I was astounded when I rummaged around the sash at my waist in excitement. It was gone.

"Oh! I remember!"

I gave the Rittei my robe!

I had undone my sash outside of the temple after I'd resurrected him so I could give him my outer robe. I was sure that I must've dropped the charm needle back then. I held my head in my hands. I'd completely forgotten that the charm needle existed.

"What on earth is the matter?"

I drew closer to him when the Rittei timidly posed me the question.

"Rittei, do you mind taking off your clothes for a bit?"

"I——what?"

"Just for a bit!"

"Wha, what are you……!?"

I grabbed hold of the Rittei in his astonishment and reached for his sash.

"Lady Hibiki, please, you mustn't!"

"But I can't just give up now!"

"Then please at least wait until we're somewhere private……!"

"It'll be over soon!"

Maybe, just maybe, the charm needle was still stashed away in the sash somewhere by some miracle.

"Hey, girl!"

"What are you doing?!"

"Hibiki!"

Ilfai's, Dilcarette's, and Louie's voices all overlapped. Incidentally, Eru had chimed in too, and four separate voices were trying to stop me in one harmonious quartet.

"But the charm needle might be there……!"

I returned to my senses when I turned around to explain myself. Everyone was staring back at us in amazement.

"Lady Hibiki……"

I nervously turned back to the Rittei. He was bright red and trembling a little when our eyes met.

I was weirdly sweaty. And I was half-straddling the Rittei. And I was trying to undo his sash. Wasn't this kinda bad…in another sense of the word?

The robe was starting to come down the Rittei's shoulders, and it was rather, well, I didn't know if I should say it was erotic or if it was dangerous. Whoa, Rittei, your skin is really white and pretty. And you're slender! ……But before that, I'm sorry for doing something outrageous in front of all these people. I wasn't trying to embarra.s.s you or anything……wait, but I'm a girl! There's been a misunderstanding because you're too pretty, Rittei!

——You shameless girl.

Solt's idle words pierced deeply into my chest.

"Wait, no……"

"……Hibiki, please come over here."

"Huh, Louie, you've got it wrong. It's really all a misunderstanding."

"Yes."

"You believe me!?"

"Yes, of course."

He was replying too fast! No one was looking me in the eyes.

Louie's steady hand gently pulled my body off of the Rittei.

"You're wrong, I really, really meant to do something else!"

I desperately gave everyone my excuses after that. I told them that I had put the charm needle inside the sash before I had given the Rittei the robe.

***

I was finally able to resolve the misunderstanding. I calmed down when it was decided that we would go collect the charm needle, which had likely fallen outside, once dawn broke. I felt like Dilcarette was all the warier of me because of this incident. The Rittei forgave me readily when I apologized with all my heart and soul and explained myself, but it was still hard for me to stomach on the personal level.

"If you really wanted to a.s.sault him, you should've simply taken him somewhere in the shadows first,"

Ilfai teased me while grinning, but I didn't have the energy to complain about it.

"By the way, child. Going back to what we were talking about before —why were you trying to resurrect the princes before anyone else?"

"Because we need people who can wield divine swords."

"What do you mean by that?"

I was a little surprised by how puzzled he sounded.

Apparently, even Ilfai, a sorcerer, hadn't known that you could use divine swords to turn Reims back human.

"You can turn Reims back human if you kill them with a divine sword."

"What?"

"That's how I resurrected everyone, isn't it?"

Ilfai and the others looked to each other.

"No one's ever tried to kill a Reim with a divine sword before?"

"No. The divine swords aren't really used that way. They're treasured swords that are under strict supervision."

"There are two of them in this kingdom, right?"

"Is the sword you're carrying a divine sword?"

"Yeah."

"Then does that mean it's one of the two swords?"

"Huh? No, it's not. This sword is……"

I pondered for a bit about how I should explain what Solt was. Was it okay to me to be honest and tell them that I had borrowed Solt from a G.o.d? But Olin had stopped existing in this world.

It would only make them more suspicious of me for no reason if I told them about all that when we hardly even trusted each other.

To begin with, how much did they know about the calamity that had covered the kingdom?

"Look, child. It looks like it'll be for the best if we start by resolving the most basic questions. And, conveniently enough, we have plenty of time until morning,"

Ilfai said moodily as he pressed his fingertips against his temple.

I was a little nervous about what kind of questions he was about to ask.

"We haven't heard a proper answer on my question from yesterday. Girl——who are you?"

Everyone inside the barrier began looking at me fervently.

"I'm……"

I looked into their faces. What should I say? How much of the truth should I tell them?

"You're not any normal girl. And you're not from out kingdom either."

"Yeah."

"And your aura is extraordinarily clear. Almost like a crystal of holiness. And yet, you're soft in nature."

Ilfai touched my cheek quizzically and continued,

"what a unique child."

"……You think?"

"You're not evil. You're kind and soft. And yet you so boldly swing around the sword. You're so unique that it's almost funny."

"Not really, though."

"Then tell us —who are you?"

Ilfai asked me boldly, though a part of him sounded like he was having fun. I felt my cheeks loosen up because the way he spoke was funny to me. Then, he said,

"hey, stop laughing and tell us."

Would he believe me if I did?

If I told him about where I came from. About who I am.

This broken world, which stood on the brink of ending. I suddenly thought about my journey that had begun there.

My eyes met Louie's.

"Hibiki."

"Yeah."

He knelt before me, took my hand, and smiled. Eru cooed and pushed his nose against my shoulder.

All of the things that had happened that had led me here popped into my mind.

Fortune, I'll definitely turn this world back to the way it was.

I'll take back the days where everyone can live in laughter.

Should I tell everyone about how I met you? Or should I stay silent about it?

I tilted my head to the side and pondered for a moment.

What was the first thing I should say to the people who brought back the light of life to this frozen world?

"I came from a land far away. To resurrect the people of this kingdom."

I grasp onto Louie's hand. I stroked Eru's chin.

"It's nice to meet you. You, the people of a world that has ended……, no, of a world that's just begun."

Everyone held their breath.

"My name is Hibiki. Hibiki Mis.h.i.+ma."1

People began to sit around me.

"Let's begin our tomorrows, and the days after tomorrow, and the days after that——our many "everydays", shall we?"

My reality had crossed paths with everyone's reality.

The beginning is the end, and the end is the beginning.

And now, the curtains open on this story.

↑ Hibiki first introduces her name in katakana and then states her full name in its proper kanji.