The Imaginary Invalid - LightNovelsOnl.com
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BACHELIERUS.
Clysterium donare, Postea seignare, Ensuita purgare, Reseignare, repurgare, et reclysterizare.
CHORUS.
Bene, bene, bene, bene respondere.
Dignus, dignus est intrare In nostro docto corpore.
OCTAVUS DOCTOR.
Impetro favorabile conge A domino praeside, Ab electa trouppa doctorum, Tam practicantium quam practica avidorum, Et a curiosa turba badodorum.
Ingeniose bacheliere Qui non potuit esse jusqu'ici deferre, Faciam tibi unam questionem de importantia.
Messiores, detur n.o.bis audiencia.
Isto die bene mane, Paulo ante mon dejeune, Venit ad me una domicella Italiana jadis bella, Et ut penso encore un peu pucella, Quae habebat pallidos colores, Fievram blancam dic.u.n.t magis fini doctores, Quia plaigniebat se de migraina, De curta halena, De granda oppressione, Jambarum enflatura, et effroyebili la.s.situdine; De batimento cordis, De strangulamento matris, Alio nomine vapor hysterique, Quae, sicut omnes maladiae terminatae en ique, Facit a Galien la nique.
Visagium apparebat bouffietum, et coloris Tantum vertae quantum merda anseris.
Ex pulsu pet.i.to valde frequens, et urina mala Quam apportaverat in fiola Non videbatur exempta de febricules; Au reste, tam debilis quod venerat De son grabat In cavallo sur une mule, Non habuerat menses suos Ab illa die qui dicitur des grosses eaux; Sed contabat mihi a l'oreille Che si non era morta, c'etait grand merveille, Perche in suo negotio Era un poco d'amore, et troppo di cordoglio; Che suo galanto sen era andato in Allemagna, Servire al signor Brandeburg una campagna.
Usque ad maintenant multi charlatani, Medici, apothicari, et chirurgiani Pro sua maladia in veno travaillaverunt, Juxta meme las novas gripas istius bouru Van Helmont, Amploiantes ab oculis cancri, ad Alcahest; Veuillas mihi dire quid superest, Juxta orthodoxos, illi facere.
BACHELIERUS Clysterium donare, Postea seignare, Ensuita purgare.
CHORUS.
Bene, bene, bene, bene respondero.
Dignus, dignus est intrare In nostro docto corpore.
IDEM DOCTOR.
Mais si tam grandum couchamentum Partium naturalium, Mortaliter obstinatum, Per clysterium donare, Seignare Et reiterando cent fois purgare, Non potest se guarire, Finaliter quid trovaris a propos illi facere?
BACHELIERUS In nomine Hippocratis benedictam c.u.m bono Garcone conjunctionem imperare.
PRAESES.
Juras gardare statuta Per Facultatem praescripta, c.u.m sensu et jugeamento?
BACHELIERUS.
Juro.[7]
PRAESES.
Essere in Omnibus Consultationibus Ancieni aviso, Aut bono, Aut mauvaiso!
BACHELIERUS.
Juro.
PRAESES.
De non jamais te servire De remediis aucunis, Quam de ceuz seulement almae Facultatis, Maladus dut-il crevare, Et mori de suo malo?
BACHELIERUS.
Juro.
PRAESES.
Ego, c.u.m is...o...b..neto Venerabili et docto, Dono tibi et concedo Puissanciam, vertutem atque licentiam Medicinam c.u.m methodo faciendi Id est, Clysterizandi, Seignandi, Purgandi, Sangsuandi, Ventousandi, Sacrificandi, Percandi, Taillandi, Coupandi, Trepanandi, Brulandi, Uno verbo, selon les formes, atque impune occidendi Parisiis et per totem terram; Rendes, Domine, his messioribus gratiam.
_Second Entry of the_ BALLET.
_All the_ DOCTORS _and_ APOTHECARIES _come and do him reverence_.
BACHELIERUS.
Grandes doctres doctrinae De la rhubarbe et du sene Ce seroit sans douta a moi chosa folla, Inepta et ridicula, Si j'alloibam m'engageare Vobis louangeas donare, Et entreprenoibam ajoutare Des lumieras au soleillo, Des etoilas au cielo, Des flammas a l'inferno Des ondas a l'oceano, Et des rosas au printano.
Agreate qu'avec uno moto, Pro toto remercimento, Rendam gratias corpori tam docto.
Vobis, vobis debeo Bien plus qu'a nature et qu'a patri meo: Natura et pater meus Hominem me habent factum; Mais vos me (ce qui est bien plus) Avetis factum medic.u.m Honor, favor et gratia, Qui, in hoc corde que voila, Imprimant ressentimenta Qui dureront in secula.
CHORUS.
Vivat, vivat, vivat, vivat, cent fois vivat, Novus doctor, qui tam bene parlat!
Mille, mille annis, et manget et bibat, Et seignet et tuat!
_Third Entry of the_ BALLET.
_All the_ DOCTORS _and_ APOTHECARIES _dance to the sound of instruments and voices, the clapping of hands, and the beating of_ APOTHECARIES' _mortars._
CHIRURGUS.
Puisse-t-il voir doctas Suas ordonnancias, Omnium chirurgorum, Et apothicarum Remplire boutiquas!
CHORUS.
Vivat, vivat, vivat, vivat, cent fois vivat, Novus doctor, qui tam bene parlat!
Mille, mille annis, et manget et bibat, Et seignet et tuat!
APOTHICARIUS.
Puissent toti anni Lui essere boni Et favorabiles Et n'habere jamais Entre ses mains, pestas, epidemias Quae sunt malas bestias; Mais semper pluresias, pulmonias In renibus et vessia pierras, Rhumatismos d'un anno, et omnis generis fievras, Fluxus de sanguine, gouttas diabolicas, Mala de sancto Joanne, Poitevinorum colicas s...o...b..tum de Hollandia, verolas parvas et grossas Bonos chancros atque longas callidop.i.s.sas.
BACHELIERUS.
Amen.
CHORUS.
Vivat, vivat, vivat, vivat, cent fois vivat, Novus doctor, qui tam bene parlat!
Mille, mille annis, et manget et bibat, Et seignet et tuat!
_Fourth Entry of the_ BALLET.
_All the_ DOCTORS _and_ APOTHECARIES _go out according to their rank, as they came in._
THE END.
FOOTNOTES:
[1] As usual, Argan only counts half; even after he has reduced the charge.
[2] Thomas Diafoirus is evidently going to base some compliment on the _belle-mere_. The only way out of the difficulty in English seems to be to complete the sentence somewhat.
[3] Harvey's treatise on the circulation of the blood was published in 1628. His discovery was violently opposed for a long time afterwards.
