The Foolish Almanak - LightNovelsOnl.com
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A pleasant way of doing this is to give a house-cleaning party. Divide your party into the Sweepers, the Dusters, the Scrubbers, and the Dish Washers, giving each group proper utensils and offering a prize for the best results.
Let the party begin at midnight, after a pleasant dinner, and at about 2 in the morning the police will probably come in and finish cleaning the place up.
[Ill.u.s.tration]
[Sidenote: _Dairy Hint_: Most dairymen find a separator useful, but it is not absolutely necessary. To separate milk most effectively, keep away from the pump.]
[Ill.u.s.tration]
SUNDAY
MONDAY Wm. Tell born. Some persons do not believe the Wm. Tell story. What Tell do they believe?
TUESDAY Publicity brings its own reward.
--Winston Churchill et al.
WEDNESDAY
THURSDAY
FRIDAY Robinson Crusoe born. Crusoe was the first victim to get a long term on the Island.
SAt.u.r.dAY
JANUARY
A man's a man for a' that--there is in it.
HELPFUL HINT FOR FEBRUARY
It wasn't because George Was.h.i.+ngton cut down the cherry tree that he was made President. And very few men get into office simply for telling the truth. We hardly know how to advise you on this point. Why do you wish to enter politics?
TO FIND OUT IF MONEY IS TAINTED
If silver or gold, bite it.
If bills, wash with soap and water.
If a cheque, call up the bank.
[Sidenote: _Society Hint_: A little gossip goes a long way.]
[Sidenote: _How to Be Happy_: Quit living.]
[Ill.u.s.tration]
SUNDAY
MONDAY (1874) Siamese twins Chang and Eng die.
(1906) b.u.t.tin twins, Lawson and Roosevelt, perfectly healthy.
TUESDAY
WEDNESDAY (1781) "Battle of Cowpens." British defeated by Morgan.
(1906) Second "Battle of Cowpens." Packers defeated by O'Neil and Reynolds.
THURSDAY
FRIDAY About this time expect some weather.
SAt.u.r.dAY
FEBRUARY
There's many a d.a.m.n 'Twixt the door and the jamb.
HOW TO SKATE
February is perhaps as good a month as any other to learn to skate.
The simplest, and most approved method, is as follows:
One high-ball, another high-ball, 1 more high-ball, simply a high-ball, just one more high-ball, ditto, the same, and lastly, a highball. (Note--After the gla.s.s is full say, "Not another drop.")
You will be surprised at the ease with which you can skate.
"Spreading the Eagle" is a very pretty and artistic skating figure. It is done by trying to get from one side of the street to the other all in the same night.
