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_Enter_ EPHRAIM SMOOTH.
_Eph._ The man John Dory has carried the man George hither in his arms, and has locked him up. Coming into the house, they did look to me like a blue lobster with a shrimp in his claws--Oh, here is the damsel I love, and alone.
_Jane._ They say when folks look in the gla.s.s, at night, they see the black gentleman.
[_As she is looking in a gla.s.s_, EPHRAIM _goes and peeps over her shoulders; she screams_.
_Eph._ Thou art employed in vanity.
_Jane._ Well, who wants you?
_Eph._ It is natural for woman to love man.
_Jane._ Yes; but not such ugly men as you are. Why would you come in to frighten me, when you know there's n.o.body here but ourselves.
_Eph._ I am glad of that. I am the elm and thou the honey suckle; let thy arms entwine me.
_Jane._ Oh, what a rogue is here! but yonder comes my lady, and I'll show him off to her in his true colours. [_Aside._
_Eph._ Clasp me around.
_Jane._ Well, I will, if you'll take off your hat, and make me a fine low bow.
_Eph._ I cannot bend my knee, nor take off my beaver.
_Jane._ Then you're very impudent--go along.
_Eph._ But to win thy favour. [_Takes off his hat, and bows._
_Jane._ Now kneel down to me.
_Eph._ I cannot, but one lovely smile may smile me down. [_She smiles, he kneels._
_Jane._ Well, now, read me a speech out of that fine play-book.
_Eph._ I read a play! a-bo-mi-na-ti-on!--But, Jane, wilt thou kiss me?
_Jane._ I kiss a man! a-bo-mi-na-ti-on! [_Mimicking._] but you may take my hand--
_Eph._ Oh! 'tis a comfort to the lip of the faithful. [_Kisses her hand._
_Enter_ LADY AMARANTH.
_Lady Am._ How! [_Taps him gently on the shoulder, he looks up confounded._] Ah, thou sly and deceitful hypocrite!
_Eph._ Verily, Mary, I was buffetted by Satan, in the shape of a damsel.
_Lady Am._ Begone!
_Eph._ My spirit is sad, though my feet move so nimble. [_Exit very slow._
_Lady Am._ But, Oh, Heavens, no tidings of my dearest Henry! Jane, let them renew their search.
_Jane._ Here's Madam Amelia, you see I've got her room ready; but I'll go make brother Sim look for the young 'squire. [_Exit._
_Enter_ AMELIA.
_Amelia._ Oh, madam, might I implore your influence with--
_Lady Am._ Thou art ill accommodated here; but I hope thou wilt excuse--My mind is a sea of trouble, my peace s.h.i.+pwrecked--Oh, friend, hadst thou seen my cousin Harry, thou too, all who knew him, must be anxious for his safety.
_John._ [_Without._] Heave a-head.
_Enters with_ SIR GEORGE.
_Sir Geo._ Rascal! whip me up like a pound of tea, dance me about like a young bear, make me quit the preserver of my life! yes, puppy unknown will think me a poltroon, and that I was afraid to follow, and second him.
_John._ Well, you may as well turn into your hammock; for out to-night you shall not budge--[_Sees Amelia._] Oh! marcy of Heaven! isn't it--Eh, master? Only give one look.
_Amelia._ [_Seeing_ SIR GEORGE.] My husband!
[_Swoons_; LADY AMARANTH _supports her_.
_Sir Geo._ 'Tis my Amelia!
_John._ [_Stopping_ SIR GEORGE, _and looking attentively at_ AMELIA.]
Reef the foresail! first, you cracked her heart by sheering off, and now you'll overset her by bringing to.
_Lady Am._ Hold--soft!
_Amelia._ Are you at length returned to me, my Seymour?
_Lady Am._ Seymour! her mind is disturbed, this is mine uncle, Sir George Thunder.
_John._ No, no, my lady, she knows what she's saying very well.
_Sir Geo._ Niece, I have been a villain to this lady, I confess. But, my dear Amelia, Providence has done you justice in part. From the first month I quitted you, I have never entered one happy hour on my journal; hearing that you foundered, and considering myself the cause, the worm of remorse has gnawed my timbers.
_Amelia._ You're not still offended with me?
_Sir Geo._ Me! can you forgive my offence, and condescend to take my hand as an atonement?
_Amelia._ Your hand! Do you forget that we are already married?
_Sir Geo._ Ay, there was my rascality.
_John._ You may say that.
_Sir Geo._ Hold your tongue, you impudent crimp, you pander, you bad adviser--I'll strike my false colours--I'll now acknowledge the chaplain you provided was--
