Silent. Part 22

"Bugs in my bed?" she asked, tiny nose curling up. "Ew!"

"Yeah. Ew," I agreed, untangling myself from the sheets. "You got any cream to put on the itchy b.u.mps?"

She shook her head. "Mommy washed the sheets and she said that would make me stop being itchy."

I rolled my eyes. "We'll have to tell her the bugs are in the mattress."

She really should've known that, but I supposed she had a lot on her mind.

I brought Star with me to the bathroom and did a search of the medicine cabinet. There was actually a decent amount of first-aid stuff, but no anti-itch cream. Eventually I wet a wad of toilet paper and dabbed it along her legs.

"Now, don't touch the b.u.mps. Just blow on them."

"Blow on them?"

"Yeah, like this." I made my lips into an O O and gently released a breath against her skin. and gently released a breath against her skin.

"Oh!" she nodded. "That feels cold." Then she eagerly pulled off her s.h.i.+rt. "I have some b.u.mps here, too."

I blushed. She was only five years old, and there was certainly nothing womanly going on yet, but I still felt strange about her being mostly naked with me in the little bathroom.

In a few seconds I got over it, though. I wet her down some more, blowing on spots here and there. I could see all of her shoulder blades and even parts of her vertebrae as I worked on her back, and I hoped to G.o.d it was just because she was a picky eater.

"I'm hungry, Tio," she announced.

"Yeah." I helped her back into her s.h.i.+rt. "Let's go get something to eat."

The kitchen was just as gross in the daylight as it had been at night. It really didn't seem like Mimi. She'd always kept her room tidy, always cleaned the table after we ate. I wondered how she could have changed this much in five years. Maybe it was the Angel guy who caused the mess...or maybe she was just so tired after working nights that she didn't have the energy to keep a clean home.

"Why don't we fix things up a little before we eat?" I asked Star. "That'll make your mommy happy, right?"

She considered for a moment, tapping her fingers on her lips. "Okay. Let's help Mommy."

I tied off the trash and threw it outside, then sat Star on the counter next to the sink. "I'll wash and you dry." I handed her some paper towels.

She nodded, arms outstretched for her first plate. "This is fun!"

I couldn't remember if I'd ever thought doing the dishes was fun, but I wasn't going to argue.

There were some roaches nibbling on leftover bits of food, but they were the small kind and I washed them down the garbage disposal, hoping that would chop them to pieces. I scrubbed all the dishes thoroughly and let Star place them back on the cabinet shelves.

"All done!" she announced as the last mug was put away. "Now can we eat?"

"Sure." I dried my hands on my pants. "What do you want?"

"Cereal!" She slid down from her perch and grabbed a spoon that had been lying on the other side of the counter. "I want cereal!"

The spoon was too large for her little mouth. And it was burnt. And right behind its former resting place, there was a butane lighter.

"Wait, Star, don't use that spoon. Let's use one we just washed."

"Oh, yeah." She giggled. "This is Angel's spoon."

My heart sank.

I took a box of frosted flakes from a cabinet and poured it into some clean bowls, but when I opened the fridge, I found it nearly empty. Only a few slices of cheese, some bread, and a tomato graced the shelves.

"Sorry, kid. There's no milk."

Star stuck out her bottom lip in a pout. "But I want cereal."

I scratched my head. "Well, you can eat it dry, I guess."

"Can we go to the store and buy milk?"

"I don't have any money."

She hopped around excitedly. "Ooh, I know where Mommy keeps the money!"

Before I could stop her, she scampered down the hallway and disappeared into the other bedroom. A few seconds later, she returned with a sock stuffed full of cash.

"See? Now we have money to buy it."

Some invisible hand reached into my chest, squeezing down on my lungs and making it hard to draw in a breath.

"Uh, yeah. Okay. But let me have that." I could barely bring myself to pick out the ten-dollar bill, and I gripped it with just the tips of my fingers, like I might catch a disease by touching it. "You'd better go get dressed."

"Yay!" Star jumped up and down again as she headed toward her room. "I love you, Tio!"

I was going to have to tell Mimi that girl was way too free with her affection.

Star reappeared wearing the same pink s.h.i.+rt, a purple tutu, and white shoes with heels that were too big on her. "I'm ready! And see, I can put my clothes all by myself."

"Can you walk in those?" I pointed to her feet.

"Mommy said I could wear tacones tacones." She faced me stubbornly. "They look pretty."

"Sure, they look look pretty, but what if you were being chased by a...tiger? Could you run in them?" pretty, but what if you were being chased by a...tiger? Could you run in them?"

With one hand on her hip, Star gave me a withering gaze that was just like Mimi's. "There are no tigers here, silly. They live at the zoo."

We both erupted in giggles.

It felt really good to laugh. I needed to do a little more of that, and a little less thinking about all the negative s.h.i.+t around me.

There was a knock at the front of the house, and Star climbed onto a chair so she could look out the peephole.

"Mommy!" She flung open the door and launched herself into Mimi's arms. "Mommy, I have a tio!"

"Yes, you do." Mimi scooped Star up and propped her on her hip. "You met him before, but you don't remember."

"That's 'cause I was a baby, Mommy. No one remembers stuff from when they was a baby."

"And you still a baby!" Mimi bopped her gently on the nose. She seemed really happy holding her daughter, but there were dark circles under her eyes, and wrinkles and creases on her face I hadn't ever seen before.

"Me and Tio are going to the store to buy milk," Star said.

"Is that so." Mimi looked over at me.

I pointed to Star. "It was her idea."

Rolling her eyes, Mimi set her daughter down on a chair at the kitchen table. "Have a Pop-Tart, baby." She grabbed a packet out of a cabinet with a broken door. "Your tio and me have to talk about some stuff right now."

The moment of truth. My hands grew slick with cold sweat as I sat beside Mimi on her wrecked couch.

"So? What's the long story? Only make it short, 'cause I'm tired."

There wasn't time to f.u.c.k around, but I still found myself grasping for words. Mimi kept looking at me expectantly, her lips unevenly smeared with the remains of some s.h.i.+mmering red gloss.

She'd always been hot, even though I'd never wanted to think of my sister that way. But I'd known it, and she'd known it. And the guys had known it, which was how she'd ended up with a kid when she was just a kid herself. But she really didn't look as pretty anymore. Was she just getting old? Was it because she was so thin that her face didn't have the same glow?

"Well?"

"Star's bed has bedbugs," I said abruptly. "I got bit a few times, and she has b.u.mps all over her."

"f.u.c.k," Mimi muttered, shaking her head. "I thought maybe it was just fleas-Angel has a couple pit bulls he brings around here sometimes-so I washed all her sheets and her clothes."

"Nope. It's bedbugs. Don't you remember-we had them that one summer, when we were still living in the projects?"

"Yeah." She pulled a napkin off the table beside her and wiped the lipstick from her mouth. "f.u.c.k. I'll have to throw out the mattress. I don't know where I can get another one."

I felt guilty about weighing Mimi down with c.r.a.ppy news, but I knew she wouldn't want Star to suffer. And for some reason, I wasn't quite ready to share my story-maybe because I was afraid of what a bad reaction would mean for my future.

"So...this is Angel's place?"

Mimi gave me a wary look. "Angel takes care of the rent and I...pay him back."

"And does he live here?"

She shrugged. "He stays here sometimes. He was here yesterday. I know we left a mess..." She glanced around the kitchen, her brow furrowing.

"Star and I cleaned up."

"Oh. Thanks." Her eyes sank closed, and she rested her head next to a dark brown stain on the back of the couch. I couldn't really tell what color the fabric had been originally.

"What's that burned spoon on the counter over there?"

"Angel used it yesterday."

"Used it for what?"

Her lids snapped back open, and she narrowed her eyes with that same look Star had given me earlier. "You know for what. For crack."

I picked at one of the tiny welts on my arm. "And do you use it?"

"No. Not like Angel does."

"So you do sometimes, then."

"Jesus Christ, Alex. Is that why you f.u.c.king came here? To get all up in my business and judge me?"

"No, no." I shook my head quickly, spreading my fingers wide to signal I was dropping the subject. "Sorry. I came because...I really need your help."

"Okay." She sighed. "So then tell me what happened. Even though I don't know how I'm gonna be able to help."

I started at the beginning, with Hector and the shoes. Her expression grew really hard at that part, and she s.n.a.t.c.hed my wrist to examine the scars while she muttered under her breath, "Hijo de puta." Then I told her how I'd been taken away, straight from school, and all about Ms. Loretta's. I left out the parts with Seb, though, skipping to the fire and ending up with my escape from Greg and Eleanor's house.

When I was done, Mimi waited a full five seconds before smacking me on my head.

"Are you f.u.c.king crazy?" she cried. "Why would you leave a f.u.c.king mansion?"

"It's not like they was gonna adopt me!" I shouted back. "They didn't even want me! They wanted a little kid!"

"Go get your s.h.i.+t!" She stood and marched into the kitchen, where she grabbed some keys out of a drawer. "I'm gonna take you back there right now, and you just better pray they forgive you!"

"What the f.u.c.k, Mimi. I came to you for help! I'm not going back!"

Star had finished her Pop-Tarts, and she glanced up at us worriedly as she licked the crumbs from her fingers. "Is Tio in trouble?"

"Go get dressed, baby. I'm gonna leave you with the neighbor 'cause I gotta go somewhere. And yes, Tio is in trouble."

"But I am dressed!" Star protested.

"Mimi, listen to me-"

"No te creo," Mimi went on, pulling at her hair violently as she stuffed it into a ponytail. "I don't believe you. You have a f.u.c.king chance to get out of here, and you run away. Jesus Christ, Alex."

"Mimi!"

She finally stopped her angry movements, placing her hands on her hips as she stared me down. "What? What is it?"

"I wasn't finished," I ground out, teeth clenched. "Will you please sit down and let me finish?"

She kept glaring for a few seconds before she flopped back on the couch. "Fine. Finish. But you best make it good."

"Can we go to the store and get milk now?" Star interrupted. "I'm still hungry."

"Go play in your room, baby," Mimi ordered. I supposed it said something for her parenting skills that Star immediately obeyed.