Silent. Part 16

And at long last, I was alone...with Seb and the sycamore tree.

The scary side of hope suddenly reared its head, and those b.u.t.terflies were doing more freefalling than they were flying...because whatever happened in the next few minutes could make or break all my insane dreams.

I really wanted to reach out and touch him-just his elbow, or something-but I couldn't with so many students around. Even talking to him was probably a little strange. People had to have known he was waiting out there for the bus that took him to Special School.

"Hey, Seb." I smiled at him.

He looked at me for a second, then back at the tree. Not a good start.

I tried again. "Seb?"

Still nothing.

"So, uh..." I kicked at a fallen leaf, my pounding heart betraying just how much I had riding on this moment. "I was thinking...you know how you sit out there and watch us play basketball sometimes?" He glanced over, and hope soared up from the pit of my stomach once more. "Well, I was thinking, maybe I could teach you how to play. I mean, I'm not very good...well, you've seen I'm not very good, but I could still help you with the basics. That might be fun, right?"

The short bus arrived. I looked into its windows and saw a boy with Down's syndrome sitting in the back, and a girl with an adult aide next to her in the front. The girl was drooling.

Hope was suddenly stomped on by the heavy foot of reality. I had to face the fact that everyone around Seb believed that he, like those students I saw, was special. special. Which meant this would never work. Which meant this would never work.

Without any goodbye, Seb walked over and got on the bus. I sagged against the tree in my defeat and watched him take a seat on the side nearest me, toward the middle.

But then he lifted his hand and pressed it up against the gla.s.s. Waggling his thumb, he looked me straight in the eye and grinned.

Never before had a facial expression meant so much to me.

I couldn't stop thinking about Seb all day. I even formed a pretty elaborate daydream that I played in my head, over and over again. It started with the basic idea of Seb not being r.e.t.a.r.ded-or at least, not enough to matter-then transitioned to us playing basketball together. Everyone else was out of the house for some (strange) reason, so we were completely alone. I'd begin by giving him a few pointers, bracing him from behind, taking every opportunity to feel his body against mine. Then, suddenly, we'd trip-not quite sure how; I hadn't worked out all the details-and I'd wind up on top of him. He'd look up at me with a dreamy, flushed smile, and I'd lean down to meet his lips in this incredible, time-stopping k- "Why do I get the feeling you not hearing a word I'm saying."

Laloni shook her head-adorned with purple barrettes today-and I blinked several times until the library and the round table where we sat came back into view.

"I'd ask you what's wrong, but from the goofy smile you been wearing, I'm gonna guess it ain't something bad."

I scratched my head and grimaced. Was I that obvious?

"Sorry. I just, uh...didn't get all that much sleep last night. What'd you say again? I need another paragraph where?"

She giggled. "I bet it's a girl."

My cheeks instantly lit up. "Nah."

"It is, isn't it!" Laloni clapped her hands. "But it best not be me, 'cause you know I don't play like that."

I couldn't help laughing. "You think you're so hot any guy wouldn't be able to resist falling for you, huh?"

"Sort of." She shrugged, then burst into more giggles. "What, you saying I'm not?"

"I'm not saying nothing." I put my hands up defensively. "I'm staying far away from this. I say yes, I'm insulting Brandon's girl. I say no, then it's sorta like I'm flirting with you. Either way I'd be screwed."

"Huh, Alex." She punched me in the shoulder. "You not such a bad kid after all."

Grinning, I picked up my pencil to continue my work, just as an administrator's voice buzzed over the loudspeaker.

"Alejandro Alvarez, please report to the main office."

Laloni looked at me in surprise. "What do they want?"

I was just as stumped. "I dunno. I haven't done anything bad in a while." But a tiny seed of nervous fear took root all the same.

"Well, we'd better go see." She gathered up my papers and put them in my backpack-she was a bit of a mother hen like that-and we left the library together.

As soon as we stepped into the office, the looks of concern on the staff's faces had my fear jumping up several notches.

"Alejandro Alvarez?" the office manager asked.

"Yeah?"

"There's been an accident at the home where you're staying. If you'd like to wait for school police to take you..."

That was all I stuck around to hear. Laloni let out a frightened squeak, grabbed my hand, and we started running.

She might've been fit for a girl, but I could still run a lot faster than her. As soon as we hit the sidewalk, I let go of her hand and took off, leaving her in my dust.

She caught up to me, though, when I ground to a halt one street over and two blocks back from Ms. Loretta's place.

"Alex? What...what is...?" she gasped.

But she never finished the question, because even at that distance, we could both see the plume of thick gray smoke rising in the air.

Fire.

Chapter 12: Game Over.

Laloni screamed.

As if a pistol had signaled the start of a race, the shriek immediately sent me sprinting.

"Oh my G.o.d, Alex!" She kept shrieking. "Wait for me! Wait for me, Alex!"

I didn't wait. I didn't have time to wait for her.

My home was on home was on fire fire.

My home? home? Even tearing down the sidewalk, praying the ratty Keds would hold up to the beating, my brain locked onto the thought. Ms. Loretta's place was my home? Even tearing down the sidewalk, praying the ratty Keds would hold up to the beating, my brain locked onto the thought. Ms. Loretta's place was my home?

I'd never dreamed I'd think of it that way. It was supposed to be my prison-the place I wanted to escape, not the place I was running to to like my life depended on it. like my life depended on it.

But I kept running, at full speed. I didn't have the mental strength to think logically about who would be home at this hour. In my mind, they were all there, all trapped by the flames that threatened to swallow them whole and leave only charred bones behind.

Crunch.

Glancing down, I found the remains of a broken beer bottle under my feet. For some reason, the sound injected me with a rush of angry fear, and I paused to scatter the shards forcefully before rounding the corner.

And then I was on the street, only a few blocks back, with no more time to waste. Panic stole my breath but I ran on, even faster than before, because I could see now just how bad it was.

Fire trucks. Police cars. An ambulance. Crowds of worried onlookers. Giant streams of water aimed at the blackened house. And lots and lots of smoke.

My lungs were already burning, and by the time I got near enough to make out the faces of the people watching, the smoke wasn't helping any. Still, I sucked in as much air as possible so I could shout for a path through the crowd. Not many people moved, and in the end I just went barreling straight into them.

"Stay back," a police officer ordered once I got near the front.

"Out of my f.u.c.king way!" I tried to push him aside, startled by the hysterical edge in my voice. "That's my house!"

"Son, you need to stay back."

"I'm not your f.u.c.king son!" This time I attempted to go around him. He grabbed me by both shoulders, squeezing hard, but I ducked and twisted-I had a lot of experience in that-and broke free.

I didn't get very far. I was looking around wildly to make sure no one was coming after me and wound up colliding with Suzie just a few steps away.

She held me by my shoulders, too, but it was a much gentler grip. "Alex! Alex, listen to me, everyone is okay."

"What?" I sagged a little under her touch.

"Everyone got out. Everyone is okay."

I glanced back at the house. Smoke, but little flame. The fire had happened a while ago...enough time ago that Suzie had had a chance to arrive, as well as the nosy neighbors from the entire block.

Why the f.u.c.k had I stayed after school?

"Everyone's okay?" I repeated, trying to ease my guilt.

"Yes, I promise."

Turning around, I scanned the front of the crowd. I found Ms. Loretta and Ms. Cecily first-Ms. Cecily was sobbing hysterically, her face buried in her sister's fleshy chest, while Ms. Loretta was stroking her hair and trying to comfort her. She was crying, too, but they were silent tears. Dwayne had an arm on her shoulder.

A few feet away, Ryan was holding onto Brandon's legs-really clutching them, like they might suddenly float away if he let go. Andrew stood in front of them, both arms wrapped around himself, body slumped with misery. Brandon reached down to rub his back, but he didn't seem comforted.

Laloni pushed her way onto the scene. She looked at the house and threw a hand over her mouth, the whites of her eyes large with disbelief. Then she ran up to Brandon and hugged him.

I pa.s.sed my gaze over the crowd once more. Ms. Loretta, Ms. Cecily, Dwayne, Andrew, Ryan, Brandon...

"Seb!"

Diving into the ma.s.s of people, I slammed my body around with little care for who or what I was. .h.i.tting. "Seb, where are you? Seb! Sebastian!"

"Alex!" Suzie chased after me. "Alex, calm down!"

"Where is he? Where's Seb? I don't see him!"

"Alex, stop!" Suzie maneuvered herself in front of me to halt my panicked charge. "Sebastian is okay, I promise."

My chest kept heaving, so I worked on catching my breath and bringing myself back to some level of sanity. "Where is he?"

"I already arranged for his transportation."

"Transportation to where?"

"A place to stay. I have to do that for all of you right now."

I swallowed hard, my throat coated with a mixture of smoky phlegm and the bile making its way up from my stomach. "We...we have to go?"

She didn't say anything, but she sighed, her eyes drifting down. I looked back at the house.

The brick front still stood, but through the now charcoal-colored window frames, I could see-most of it was destroyed.

"Why...why'd you send Seb away so fast?" I asked, fighting to keep my voice from trembling. "Won't we all be going to the same place? Why couldn't we all just go together?"

In my peripheral vision, I saw that Brandon and Laloni were near me now. Laloni was trying to hold Brandon's hand, but he shoved both of them in his pockets.

"It was Seb," Brandon said before Suzie could answer me.

I turned toward him. "What?"

"It was Seb. He started the fire."

It took me about two seconds to really process what he was saying...and then another two seconds for the meaning to burn through my system and build up a rage that demanded immediate release.

I sprang at him and took him down in the first move. With my grip on his s.h.i.+rt, I slammed his back into the soot-covered asphalt where we'd landed. "You f.u.c.king liar! You take that back!"

Shrieks surrounded me-onlookers and Laloni, probably, but I didn't let up. I lifted his chest a few inches off the ground and slammed him down again.

"What the f.u.c.k is your problem?" he choked out. He recovered from the initial stun and twisted his hands into the fabric of my s.h.i.+rt to try to throw me off. "You're f.u.c.king crazy!"

We rolled once but I came out on top, grinding my knee into his ribs to keep him down. I could feel he was trying to get a leg under me to kick me off, so I jerked to the side and shook his head against the asphalt once more in the hopes of disorienting him.

It worked, because he tried to shoot out to the left where I easily stopped him by connecting my other knee with his face.

"Alex, please stop!" Suzie shouted-the loudest I'd ever heard her voice. She grabbed one of my elbows, and Laloni grabbed the other. "Please, this isn't going to help anyone!"

"But he's lying." I shook Brandon one more time and then let them pull me off. "Seb's afraid of fire! He wouldn't do this!"

"He's r.e.t.a.r.ded!" Brandon jumped up immediately, body tightened in a fighting stance. "How the f.u.c.k would you know what he would and wouldn't do? I saw saw him!" him!"