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"Call her. I'm sure she'll understand."
"I hope so." Kelly pushed away from the table, her appet.i.te now gone. She opened the cell phone and dialed Talia's number, but it went to voice mail on the first ring. "Hey it's me. I'm sorry I didn't come by this morning. We had a late call and I was so exhausted I forgot. Call me, okay?"
She closed her phone and paced in the small kitchen. Kelly made three rounds before Marina stopped her.
"Will you please finish your dinner?"
"I can't. I can't believe I forgot. Ma, how could I forget something like that?"
"Did you sleep at all during your s.h.i.+ft?" Marina asked.
"About an hour. We barely had time to eat. It was non-stop all night. I got into my car and drove home without thinking of anything other than sleep."
"That's why you forgot. You know as well as I do that this sort of thing happens. I remember once when your father went to Grandpa Henry's house after a long s.h.i.+ft. We'd been married for about two years, and I guess his brain forgot where we lived. Had me worried to death until your grandpa found him asleep in his old room."
"Great. Bad memory runs in the family. At least I come by it honest."
"Just keep calling her. Once you explain things, she'll come around."
Kelly dialed Talia's number and got voice mail again. That bad feeling was in the front of her mind now, and she wasn't so certain a simple explanation was going to cut it. She grabbed her car keys and headed out the door.
KELLY TOOK A deep breath before walking in to Talia's room. She was glad to find her alone. "Hey there."
Talia looked startled. "Kelly. What are you doing here?"
"You didn't answer your phone so I figured I'd come by. I'm sorry I didn't get here this morning. We were out on calls all night and, when I got home, I collapsed with exhaustion. I woke up about an hour ago."
"I understand," Talia said, but wouldn't look at her. She was staring at her hands folded on her lap.
Kelly stood at the side of the bed and put her hand over Talia's. "I'm sorry. I'd never hurt your feelings, Talia. I wanted to be here."
There were tears in her eyes, and Talia swiped her face with the back of her hand to try to hide them. "I miss you so much where you're not here. I'm being a big baby. Sorry."
"Hey, don't be sorry. That's my job," Kelly said and waited until Talia raised her head to look at her. "I broke my promise. I should have at least called you." She wiped a tear from Talia's cheek. "I'll do my best to make sure it doesn't happen again. Okay?"
"Sure."
"Want to watch some TV?"
"Can we just sit here for a while?"
"Of course," Kelly pulled a chair close to the bed and sat down. "When you get out of here in a couple of days, I'd like to come to your place and hang out. If that's okay. We could watch movies, talk, whatever."
"I'd like that." Talia smiled. "So, tell me about your s.h.i.+ft."
Kelly let out a long breath. "Well, we started off on a cardiac arrest..."
Chapter Twenty-Two.
TALIA PUT THE crutches under her arms and made her way to the window. It was a beautiful summer day and she was anxious to get out of the hospital. Jacob had her apartment all ready for her and "crip-proofed" as he'd called it. Another couple of days, and she'd be enjoying it with Kelly by her side. They'd be able to watch movies and cuddle on the couch.
"It's good to see you standing again."
The voice was familiar, but Talia made it a point not to turn around. "I thought you left."
"I did," Megan said. She was so close that Talia could smell her perfume. "I decided to come back and give you one last chance."
"Heh. Last chance at what? Going back to my old life?"
"No. Going back to DC with me."
Talia felt a hand on her shoulder and wanted to pull away, but didn't trust her balance enough. Instead she carefully crutched around so that she was facing Megan. "I'm not going back to DC. I've made that clear, Megan. To you and to my mother. Now leave. I'm expecting some of my friends to stop by."
"Friends? Does that include Kelly McCoy?"
"As a matter of fact it does," Talia said, her voice steadier than she expected. Her heart was pounding in her chest. The look on Megan's face was very familiar, rage in her eyes, and Talia tensed for what would happen next.
"It's best you stop this little fantasy of yours now, Talia. You're not her type anyway. The sooner you both figure that out, the better."
"Better for who? You or me? And what makes you think I'm not her type?"
"Oh, please," Megan said. "She's a white woman, and you're fat and dumpy. No one is going to want you the way women like Kelly want someone. Besides, she feels sorry for you. Nothing more."
"How-you can't possibly know what she feels. Or what I feel. You never did."
Tears trickled down Talia's cheek, and Megan gently wiped them away. Her familiar touch sent an unexpected rage through Talia's body, but held herself resolute, determined not to behave the way Megan so often had.
"I know how you feel, Talia. I always have. We were good together. We just hit a rough spot. All couples do. Now come home with me so I can take care of you."
"I don't believe you."
"I've never lied to you."
She hadn't. Talia knew that. But while Talia had to agree it would be easy to go home to DC to let Megan take care of her, she knew that in a few months they would be back to their old routine. Megan would be telling her what to do and she'd be following along. It was an easy relations.h.i.+p to fall in to. Part of her still loved Megan and seeing her put seeds of doubt into Talia's head about her decision to leave her.
Could they ever possibly have a good relations.h.i.+p? If she turned Megan away would she be alone forever? That thought troubled and terrified her at the same time.
Her heart wanted to run to Kelly. Could she dare trust her heart to Kelly? Was she hanging around because she felt sorry for her? Was it even possible for Kelly to be attracted to her? If Kelly left her, and she'd sent Megan away, would she be all alone then? Tears flowed freely now, and Talia felt her leg weaken.
"Hey, let me help you." Megan guided her to the edge of the bed. Once there, Megan sat beside Talia and pulled her close. "I love you, Talia. I want to take care of you."
"I-I can't do this right now. Please, Megan. Please understand."
"What can't you do right now?"
Talia looked over at her, thankful for the tissues nearby. She dried her face. "This is all just too much for me. Please, let me have some time, okay? I just need some time." It was all so confusing. Things felt normal-or perhaps expected and familiar-in Megan's arms. Never as safe or as exciting as with Kelly, but at least something familiar. With Kelly, it wasn't so often that Talia felt like the fat girl who couldn't find a woman in a sea of lesbians.
"Time," Megan said. "I can give you that. I'm working on as much as I can remotely, but I will have to go back to DC at some point."
"Let me get settled at my apartment and I'll call you." Talia prayed that was okay. The thought that Kelly might not want her and that Megan might leave scared the h.e.l.l out of Talia. She couldn't be alone. Not now. Not when she had to start her life over again. "Please?"
"Of course. I've written the number to my hotel on this business card." She placed it on the bed table. Megan pulled her closer and gently pressed her lips to Talia's. It was the sweetest kiss they'd ever shared. Talia felt relief flood through her.
"Thanks."
"I'll be over tomorrow to make sure you're okay. We don't have to talk about anything serious." Megan kissed her on the forehead before standing up. "I just want to make sure you've got everything you need. I'll see you then."
Megan left the room and Talia buried her face in her hands and cried.
TALIA WOKE EARLY on Friday. Her physical therapy appointment was a few hours away, so she decided to call Kelly, since this was her day off. The call went directly to voice mail, indicating to Talia that Kelly's phone was turned off. She left a quick message and hung up.
Impatient to hear Kelly's voice and rea.s.sure herself that their relations.h.i.+p was still good, Talia dialed again. This time Kelly answered.
"Hey Talia. What's up?"
"Nothing. Just wanted to call you." Talia could hear a lot of noise in the background. "Are you busy?"
"Yeah. I got called in last night and I'm going to have to work most of today. I'm not even sure yet how long." Kelly said something, but it was m.u.f.fled.
"What? I didn't hear you."
"I'm sorry. I really can't talk now. Can I call you back later?"
Talia didn't respond at first. Kelly sounded like she didn't want to talk at all and Talia wondered if she was really working or just trying to get rid of her.
"Talia? Hon? I gotta go. Seriously, I'll call you back later."
"Okay. Bye." Talia closed her cell phone.
PHYSICAL THERAPY exercise room was empty of people. It reminded Talia of the hole she felt in her heart and the ache there that grew with each pa.s.sing day that she didn't see Kelly.
"Good afternoon, Miss Talia." Lucie said. Her perky smile was infectious.
"Hi Lucie. Thanks for moving my time to later in the day. I have more energy."
"Not a problem. We've got the place to ourselves as you can see. Want some music?"
"As long as it isn't country and depressing."
"Roll yourself over to the parallel bars." Lucie set the station to a popular rock channel. "I want you to do some walking today with your temporary prosthesis."
"Yes, boss." Talia did as instructed and twenty minutes later the prosthesis felt like it weighed a ton.
"You're doing great!" Lucie said. "One more time and we'll be done here."
Talia managed the last turn without using the bars for support. She had to grab hold at the end of her walk. "d.a.m.n. Almost made it."
"That was fantastic." Lucie helped her to the wheelchair. "I haven't seen someone as driven as you are in a long time."
"Thanks. I just want out of here and on with my life." She'd hoped that would include Kelly, but now she wasn't so sure. It was apparent that Kelly didn't have time for her. But being with Megan wasn't an option. Was it? Talia couldn't be alone. The strength she once had to leave Megan and start over was gone now. Her heart felt like it was breaking.
"Hey, you in there?"
"I'm sorry. What did you say?"
"I said that's good. It makes my news even better." Lucie said. "I talked to your doctor this morning. You're going home tomorrow."
"Really?" Talia asked.
"Call Jacob and tell him you can leave around nine. Doctor Lin said she'd get you discharged first thing. You still have to come here every day for a couple more weeks, but at least you can rest in your own home."
"Yeah, rest. Something you never get in the hospital."
Lucie wheeled her to on of the tables and helped Talia onto it. "I know. Ready for more exercises?"
"You certainly have a way of bringing down good news." Talia frowned at her. "Do I have to?"
"Just for that, you're doing double."
Talia lay back on the table and groaned.
TALIA STARED AT the clock across from her bed. It was close to eight in the evening. Jacob was due any minute to take her home, and she hoped he was on time. She needed someone in her life to be reliable. That wasn't entirely true. Her mother could be relied upon to tell Talia about every thing that was conceivably wrong with her body, personality, work, att.i.tude. Not the kind of reliability she craved. Who else could she count on? Her brother. Sam would be there if not for the d.a.m.n war, and her father had a business to run or he would be able to do more than offer her an occasional hug and encouragement. She thought Kelly might be an addition to her tiny group of trusted people, but it didn't look like that was to be.
She'd called Kelly seven times after finis.h.i.+ng her physical therapy yesterday. Each time the call went to voice mail. Kelly hadn't called back. The writing was on the wall and Talia made the choice to end things before it got worse. Clearly, Kelly was too busy to give Talia the time she was craving.
Kelly couldn't support her the way Talia needed her to. Maybe Talia was being needed and high maintenance, but she really wanted someone there with her all the time. Life before the accident had been tough, but now she didn't have a clue how things would work now. She needed someone she could rely on. And the more she thought about it, despite the misgivings, Megan was the one that fit that bill.
Talia wanted out of that d.a.m.n hospital and now. She picked up her cell phone to call Jacob, but it rang before she could finish. Kelly's number. She pressed "ignore" and waited for the call to go to voicemail. A message flashed that her mailbox was full, but she didn't care. Now she wouldn't have to hear Kelly's excuse again.
The tears welled up, and she let them fall. She hadn't been aware of Jacob coming into her room, but leaned into his strong embrace when he put his arms around her.
Time pa.s.sed in slow motion, and each time Talia thought she was finished she remembered Kelly's touch or her sweet kisses and started crying again.
"Sweetie, you need to tell me what happened." Jacob said into her ear. "C'mon. Tell me."
Talia accepted the tissues from him and worked to compose herself. How could she tell him? Her phone rang again and she answered it without thinking. Kelly's voice was on the other end of the line.
"Talia? You there? Please, baby, talk to me."
"Don't call me that," Talia said between sniffles. "Look, I know you've been nice to me and I sort of get why. But you don't have to do it anymore. I'm fine."