Bleeding Heart - LightNovelsOnl.com
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She envied Raven the fact that he wore absolutely no armor. Though they had tried to fit him out in some he had not seemed comfortable in it. It had been a bit amusing to see him try to walk in it and knock into things but they had decided it was better that he not be restricted by something he did not know how to walk in properly.
He was not supposed to rush into combat anyway though. Even though he knew how to fight, he was currently at a major disadvantage. Given enough time, Dawn personally thought that Raven would be able to learn to work with his blindness even in a harried condition, but she also hoped that he would be able to find a way to heal his eyes.
Anyway, Dawn felt uncomfortable and she was not the only one in the group to be suffering in the heat. The twin knights and the married couple were also wearing very heavy armor, and the priests were wearing metal armor as well, though theirs allowed for more air flow.
Despite this though, Aklane and Kion both seemed to be fairly unconcerned with this as they chattered with Fendrel. Then again, this was not too surprising. Knights of Amriel were pretty much used to wearing armor all the time.
Raven was in a brilliant mood though, which did bring a small smile to Dawn's face. She rather liked hearing him whistle softly and happily with a bright smile on his face.
As they rode, Dawn found herself thinking of Arrion again. She wondered what he would have to say about this whole thing. Whether he would joke or be utterly serious. Knowing how much her husband enjoyed being a bit… well, easy to underestimate, he would most likely have been somewhere in between. Seeming to make light of the situation but already having a plan. Arrion had almost always known what he was doing.
There had been a reason all the other kingdom's rulers had looked up to him. Not only had he been extremely likeable he had also been so capable and competent at just about everything he tried to do.
And his smile… Dawn smiled just thinking about how brilliant it had been. Even though it was painful knowing she would never ever see his face again. But the memory of him being happy was sweet, it would have been worse if she could not recall such an expression of pure happiness.
She wished they had been able to find his body as she hated the thought that she had not been able to give him a proper burial but they had not. Not a single trace. Instead they had made an empty grave for him, and she had to pretend to herself that she would be able to visit him there. Even though it would not be quite the same.
She sighed, once again wis.h.i.+ng she could see him again, even just his smile if she could not talk to him. The thought that she would have to get older without him there with her, and that she would never get to bear him children or see their grandchildren get born made her feel moody. The memory of how excited Arrion had been the time he had mistaken her to be pregnant seemed so very mocking now that that would never ever get to happen.
Because once they finished getting this vengeance, Dawn was acutely aware that she was likely to go into a deep depression. It would have been easier if she had had a child to distract herself from the heartache.
Now that her mind was on it, Dawn found herself wondering what their child would have looked like. If the child had inherited the father's abilities of being able to change his shape, of course it could have looked like anything it wished. The thought of having a child who was constantly testing out such abilities made Dawn giggle a little, causing Raven to incline his head towards her.
"What is it, my queen?" His voice had a curious edge to it.
"I was just thinking." Dawn did not want to say exactly what she had been thinking of even to Raven. She did after all have a reputation and she did not want to completely ruin it.
"Alright. It's good to hear you sound so happy though." His lips were curled into a bright smile.
"Eh, I can't really seem to keep much happiness very long but I do have a few moments."
The concern on his face was evident, and he spoke haltingly, "I am sure that it will get better, though I doubt you will ever forget him."
She thanked him quietly but her mood was better than it normally was. She found it easy under the bright cheerful sunlight to think of happy things, though thoughts of Arrion were still tinged with that prevailing sadness.