Spring Blooms When I'm With You 156 I Know I Made You Feel Suffocated

"Are you sure you didn't want to stay in the old house?" Ren asked while he was helping her to get off the car. They had just arrived in Spring Garden.

"I miss our home," replied Tsubaki patiently even though he had asked her the same questions numerous times.

Her husband could really be a worrywart when it came to her well-being. But, since he too always relented to her wishes she didn't find it a bother.

After all, a marriage worked when two people could respect each other's wishes by tolerating the flaws.

"Alright, I won't ask again," said Ren guiltily as he realized his wife could be fed up with the repeated questions. "I need to go to the company soon. Call me if there's anything."

"Okay, dear."

Ren had accompanied her in the hospital for the past two days. Matsuzaki would come over to send the important doc.u.ments to him. They were waiting to see if she could remember another memory but so far nothing came to her.

They walked past the reception desk in the lobby of the residential complex. The two receptionists greeted them politely. Tsubaki returned their greeting with a smile while Ren just nodded to them. They headed straight to the elevator.

"Grandma sent Old Yuuzo here before we came home." Ren opened the door, allowing Tsubaki to go inside first before he followed from behind. "She asked the chefs to prepare nutritious meals for you. Eat them for your lunch."

"I should call Grandma later to thank her," replied Tsubaki. She put her handbag on the coffee table.

Ren helped her taking off her wool cardigan. He placed it on the couch before heading to the kitchen to get a gla.s.s of water as she sat on the couch. He returned shortly. The gla.s.s switched hands. Ren sat on the coffee table opposite Tsubaki.

His eyes landed on her face. As time pa.s.sed, his gaze dimmed as an air of melancholy surrounded him. With a heavy heart, he began to speak.
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"You could return to the bakery tomorrow and... I'm sorry if you feel like I'm controlling you right now," said Ren in regret, his voice was huskier than his usual deep voice. So much had happened to them in a short time, making him unconsciously building a protective wall to keep them safe.

He knew he was being forceful with her, his own wife.

Tsubaki looked at his face, the fear she would see from now and then was apparent in his eyes. She needed to stop this. She needed to let him know that despite the constant worry about her well-being, he didn't need to feel guilty.

Tsubaki placed the empty gla.s.s on the table. She got up from the couch, walking over to her husband. He just silently stared at her when she came to him. She stood in between his legs, her eyes staring at him with such clarity. One of her hands softly placed against his cheek while the other brushed his bangs aside.

Ren looked up to meet her eyes. He saw so much love in them, it rendered him speechless.

"Dear, my darling," Tsubaki said softly. Her palms were so soft on his skin. Looking into his eyes, she saw the fear and anxiety he tried hard hiding them from her. "I know you're worried and I don't blame you for feeling that way. It's natural for us humans to feel fear when things aren't in our control."

"But, I know I make you feel suffocated because of me worrying over you," replied Ren hoa.r.s.ely. He wanted to avert his eyes from her, frightened with the thought of her finding him a coward. But, he was unable to do that. He couldn't move away from her.

Despite his devastating fear, he added. His low voice resounded in the large living room.

"If possible, I want to keep you beside me. To not allow others coming in contact with you. To make sure you're safe with only me. Aren't you afraid if I were to do that?"

Tsubaki smiled slightly, her thumbs rubbing circles on his cheeks. "I don't feel suffocated and I would never will. You said you're controlling me but I don't see it that way. Whenever I'm having doubts, you let me decide for myself while supporting me from the side. For that, I am grateful."

There were so many occasions when he would ask for her opinions first. Even when he was worried about leaving her alone to have a talk with Aunt Ume, he still kept her feelings in check. He respected her even though it was clear to her that he was reluctant to let her deal with the matter alone.

"You let me feel love and respect from you. No one has ever treated me as well as you. And I'm so head over heels with you because of that!" Tsubaki giggled as she peppered his face with small kisses. Her soft lips felt the hot tears br.i.m.m.i.n.g around his eyes.

Ren shook his head as he didn't know what should he say to her. He placed one of his hands on hers, turning his head slightly to kiss her palm. One would always say he was a man with no emotions yet, whenever he was with her, his feelings would overwhelm from his heart.

Only for her.

Tsubaki didn't press him, allowing him to seek peace in the silence. She let him be in his own pace, for him to know he could show his weaknesses to her.

"What if..." Ren raised his eyes, his dark eyes carried the hints of anxiety. "If what happened to you... the cause of losing your memory... is me?"

That was the scariest question that lingered in his mind. Over time, he found it hard to express them with words but he knew he needed to ask her the question sooner or later.

What he was afraid of was her answer.

Tsubaki didn't answer immediately, instead she leaned down. She planted a gentle kiss on his lips before she brought his head to her chest. Her fingers softly stroking his hair, the other hand wrapping around his broad back. She felt his arms wrapping around her waist. She could feel the trembling of his hands.

"Please don't dwell in the past, the future is what matters the most. We have a long journey ahead of us. I want to spend my life with you and I know you feel the same too," Tsubaki added, kissing the top of his head.

Enveloped in her embrace, Ren nodded while trying to hold back his feelings. He tightened his arms around her.

He was so grateful for being able to meet her in his desolate life.

He was so grateful she was able to accept his flaws.

He was so grateful for her unconditional love.

For that, he swore on his life to keep her safe from the harm's way.