INSPIRATIONAL MUSINGS 34 Hone Your Negotiation Skills So Much That You Do Not Settle For Less

"So much of life is a negotiation - so even if you're not in business, you have opportunities to practice all around you."
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— Kevin O'Leary

bout everything in life happens through negotiations. The quicker you are a shrewd negotiator the better for you, come to think of it, how will the world function

without negotiations? We all have our beliefs, sentiments and prejudices which we have formed over the years for different reasons, such that we hold firmly to a position on any matter, for this reason when its time to make a decision on any subject or situation we hardly s.h.i.+ft position from what we hold very dear.

Since we all have a particular way we reason how come we agree with our partners, loved ones, a.s.sociates, acquaintances, superiors etc.? It's simply because we negotiate most times on everything, that's how things get done in this world.

Negotiation isn't limited to business or financial transactions alone, it is needed in every aspect of life, this is the truth whether you like it or not. I know this might sound too general in nature for some people, but by the time I break this down as we go further, it will make more sense.

Negotiation is a discussion aimed at reaching an agreement by two or more parties. Now, the only reason we all relate with ourselves is because we agree, without agreement two or more people can't work together, they can't build together, they can't live together, they can't eat or dine together, they can't move in the same direction, they can't achieve anything of worth together. That is how important agreement is. The irony of it all is that the foundation any agreements its on is deliberation or consultation.

In the past, monarchy system or military dictators.h.i.+p were the two most common systems of government, but they stopped being fas.h.i.+onable at some point because the people became tired of not having the say in who governs them or how they were being governed. They needed leaders that could consult with them before decisions were made on what affects their livelihood and the future of their children. I think this sounds like negotiation to me, the agitation for this kind of government brought about democracy, a system of government where politicians will convince the people to vote for them. In the process there will be some sort of negotiations, then the people will vote based on who they think can represent their interests the best way after rounds of negotiations. Most countries have since adopted the democratic system of government because of its more flexible nature, and this flexibility can be traced to the art of negotiation.

Since we have established that even in governance negotiation is needed, I will not want to delve too much into democracy as a system in itself, that is, the arms of government therein, the separation of powers, how the executive has to negotiate with the legislature to get things done and all. In short, democracy is all about negotiations, without it nothing can work in that system of government.

If politics is all about negotiations, what of marriage? Marriage is an inst.i.tution where two people with different family backgrounds, different cultural beliefs most times, different views on so many issues of life come together to live under the same roof, top rocreate, to plan the future together. That's tough in most instances, now if I may ask how do these two get along in the journey if not through negotiations?

Same for business partners.h.i.+ps, community development projects, Non-governmental initiatives, nothing works without two or more parties seating on a table to work things out or forge ahead despite their differences. Nigeria owes its peace and unity over the years to the negotiating skills of the founding fathers, the military men and recently the politicians. Around everything we do is the need to deliberate and arrive at a favourable conclusion.

It is now very clear that most things happen in life through negotiations, also I have stated why this is so, now we have to dissect what happens during negotiations. What happens during negotiations most times is people come to the table with their demands, there may be several parties but let us use an example of two parties we will call party A and party B to drive the point home. Party A will state its demands, while party B will do same. More often than not, the two will not accept the proposition of either parties, so what they need to do to have a meaningful or positive round of deliberations in order to arrive at a conclusion that is favourable to both parties is to come up with an alternative proposition that will be acceptable to both parties. In most instances, the first alternative is always more favourable for one party, it is how well the party that comes up with the alternative proposition can convince the other party to accept the decision, that determines how quickly they arrive at a positive conclusion, if they will ever arrive at one. It is very important for parties going into rounds of negotiations to learn how to get a favourable alternative for themselves very well, there is no point negotiating when you don't know how to arrive at a decision that favours you.

It is not every negotiator that gets results, there are negotiators and there are negotiators, the more you improve your negotiating skills, the more you achieve results. The beautiful thing about excellent negotiators is they hardly give in until they get a favourable result, always remember that why you are negotiatingatallisbecauseyouwantanendthatwillbeascloseas possible to your initial alternative at the commencement of negotiation, so for this reason you must always go into negotiations with a game plan. A game plan that involves many favourable options.

Four Ways to Become a Better Negotiator

1. Never be rigid: excellent negotiators are never rigid but they just don't back down easily, they try to squeeze out the best alternatives for themselves, you must know at what point you begin to lose the people you are in deliberation with, so know when to adjust when things aren't going as planned. Remember the aim is to "negotiate" with them not to bully them or bulldoze your way through.

2. Have several options: never go into any negotiation with one plan, if you do that you will always lose out, you aren't sure which plan will fly and because you have to be flexible, so you can't go into any negotiation with just a plan, go withmany, you are safer that way.

3. Never appear desperate: this is something the individual ontheothersideofthetableislookingoutfor, to notice any trace of desperation and to pounce on it, even if you are VERY desperate, don't show it, you might get the best out of the process to your surprise.

4. Never underestimate the greed of the other side: don't ever think the people on the other side of the table are as modest or contented as you are, never. Please factor in the possibility that they will wish to grab the bigger end of the pie, sobeready.

In conclusion, negotiation isn't as diffi ternationalcult as it appears, timid people are the ones that are averse to negotiations, learning to become a better negotiator requires courage. Once you start getting results, it becomes easier for you. Patience is also a very necessary tool, at times there is a "waiting period," learn not to be too eager for results. Practise these things more and you will realise how smooth you would become on the long run.