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Unlike Diego, Anna caught right away the reason why Lillian left the prom so suddenly. She sighed in relief.
Anna knew the way Lillian behaved all this time and only kept it to herself. She wished Lillian to realize it for herself and not solely give in to what others perceive.
Seeing Lillian say that she likes Giselle, Anna's anger dissipated.
Meanwhile, Diego stood there to his feet stuck to the floor. What he feared became a reality. The troubled thoughts ended up becoming his nightmare. He felt all those years of loving Lillian Grey from the sides turn to decay. All the time he spent quietly adoring her, secretly loving her, and finally hoping to find the right time to confess his feelings – it seems all of these years of waiting were for oblivion.
Giselle!
Ever since the girl appeared so boldly in front of Lillian, everything altered. Right away, Giselle confessed her love, and even after getting rejected, she reappeared once again. Only this time to get closer to Lillian.
The one thing that Diego silently feared came true. When he heard Lillian admit falling for Giselle, he watched her get demure. The first time Diego saw her look so humble while talking.
It all makes sense now, stepping into the room, seeing Lillian's bright grin, the composed response – when Diego discovered that the reason behind her smile is Giselle, it made him loathe Giselle more than anyone in this world.
Hate – is not just a word to describe what he was feeling at the time. A part of him tasted disappointment while the other raged.
..
"What are you doing?" the enraged side of Diego took over him.
"Are you on your right mind? What are you saying, Lillian?"
"You like Giselle, which means that you are in love with a girl?"
"What are you, a lesbian?"
Word after word, Diego's face contorted as he spoke. It shocked both Anna and Lillian. The way he phrased Lillian's feelings were as if it should be something sickening.
Both Anna and Lillian was surprised to see this side of Diego. The guy, who used to be benign, is exploding in front of their eyes. Even when he is angry, Diego never looks outraged, but right now, the way he looked at Lillian with anguish, intimidated the girls.
Diego sounded h.o.m.ophobic.
His words cut Lillian Grey as she appears hurt.
Only after seeing her eyes lower, Diego realized that he crossed a line with his improper remark. He cursed at himself for speaking out without any conscience. He found to give in to the hatred for Giselle and reflected it on Lillian Grey.
He hated himself for that.
..
"What are you saying, Diego?" Anna blurted.
She noticed Lillian in pain. Remembering the time when she a.s.sured Lillian that she would support her no matter what, Anna turned to Diego. She can't let him speak like this to Lillian, not to her best friend.
"Do you realize what you just said?" Anna exclaimed, directing her intense hostility towards Diego.
It is wrong of Lillian to leave Diego in the middle of their dance without informing him anything. However, when Lillian admitted the reason and shared such an important decision in her life, it is only fair for the two to be understanding. Instead, Diego seems to question her s.e.xuality. Anna did not like it at all.
"I'm sorry, but it is what it is, Anna. What? How many years do we know each other? All this time, we never saw her show any interest in girls. I can only wonder how she can conclude that it is love."
Diego reasoned. He wanted to fight, not for anyone's sake but himself and his love for Lillian. He was not ready to back out or entertain silence.
"What is your point now? Anna asked sternly.
"I'm saying I never saw her behave like one. How can she suddenly say that she likes girls now?" Diego snapped.
"Is there a pattern that one should follow to express themselves? What nonsense are you sprouting? Is it wrong to fall in love with a girl? Who cares? You don't own your feelings, Diego," Anna replied.
Diego scoffed, disagreeing to her view despite it being the fact. Feelings can't remain controlled, but here, Diego doesn't like the idea of Lillian thinking that she is in love with a girl, specifically Giselle.
..
Anna did not get why Diego is so against Lillian loving Giselle.
But then, she also understands Diego. They have been friends for a long time, and in all those years, Lillian never showcased any interest to the same gender or anyone.
Anna apprehended that not everyone can accept one's choice. However, none of it matters, right now, Anna knew Lillian more than Diego. She saw Lillian be happy when she was with Giselle, the kind of happiness you feel when you are with a loved one. She wanted Lillian to figure it out herself, and presently, seeing Lillian's consent, Anna couldn't be happier. Except for the unwanted fight, Diego started.
**
The two went on to argue while Lillian remained stationed quietly. She watched her two best friends debate about being gay, one supporting while the other wasn't able to accept it.
Lillian noticed how different Diego appeared to her eyes for the first time. He was against her liking, Giselle.
Little by little, the noise goes up with Anna overpowering Diego while he tried to restrain himself. It was hard for Diego because he can't open his feelings right now.
Meddling in between the two, Lillian stopped them from speaking. She shut both their mouths and separated them apart.
"What do you think you two are doing?"
"Don't raise your voices too much, my dad will think that we're fighting," Lillian informed as she dragged Anna away from Diego and let the two stay away from each other.
"Why are you stopping me? He is the one who started it by saying you weren't behaving gay enough for him to know-"
"Stop it, Anna. He asked me the question. I'll answer him, calm down, will you?" Lillian requested.
Facing Diego, Lillian saw the guy appear strange. She wondered what went wrong with him to sternly oppose her. Nonetheless, Lillian chose to confront him straight.
"Firstly, I'm not sure if I'm a lesbian." she began addressing.
Diego felt uncomfortable even partic.i.p.ating in this topic, but it was his own feelings on the line. He refused to go down today. Tensing his hand tighter, he controlled himself from getting swayed.
"Do you think it was easy for me to say that I like girls?"
Lillian asked Diego. He couldn't respond and only kept staring right back at her.
"It was not easy, Diego. Not only to me but to Giselle too. It is not like Giselle woke up one day and realized that she likes girls and not boys."
Lillian emphasized her words, not only for her welfare but for Giselle as well.
"I won't say that I'm not attracted to boys. You guys know that I do admire handsome boys. Regardless, in recent times, I keep searching for answers. You know it already, Diego. You asked me a million questions during the trip, do you remember?"
"Who is Giselle to me- you asked me."
"Ever since then, I was trying to ask myself, the answer to that question. I kept seeking, and now, I think I have an answer. I like Giselle. I truly do. I like her, Diego," Lillian expressed sincerely.
Watching her yield for someone else, Diego clenched his fist hard.
"Because she confessed to you, right?" he said.
"Because she got bullied,"
"Because you went to save her,"
"Because she got wrongly exposed,"
"Because you took her in and played friends with her,"
"Because of all the time, you spent with her,"
"Because of all these events, you think it is love, right?"
Diego paused, looking at Lillian, he exhales.
"It is not love, Lillian Grey."
"What you have for that girl is not true love!"
"It's a pity, that's all you have for her. Please don't complicate it with love and misread the emotions."
Diego glared as he rigidly showed that what Lillian poses is sympathy for Giselle and not love.
Hearing him once again storm her with a raid of questions, Lillian did not feel calm. She sensed his resentment towards Giselle, especially when he called her, the girl.
Lillian bites her tongue in bitter.
She doesn't have a clue why Diego seems so actively opposing her.
If it were someone else, then it won't matter to Lillian Grey. However, being it her best friend, she is obliged to feel distressed if they don't support her decision.
"No! Diego," Lillian replied softly, not wanting to create a ha.s.sle.
Anna observed the two from the side. She was worried when Diego made a fuss, but seeing Lillian still composed Anna relaxed a bit. She believed in Lillian and let her handle Diego.
"I get what you're trying to say, Diego. However, it is not accurate."
Diego's brows creased in tension to what Lillian said.
"Well, part of it is right. I did pity Giselle at first. She confessed to me, a girl who has never been in a relations.h.i.+p. I rejected Giselle on the spot. There was no mercy at that time. Later, when I found her in that restroom, curled up in horror, I sympathized with her."
"I found her weak and helped her. When Bridgette wrongly exposed her secret, everyone trash-talked Giselle. I bet you don't know, but I saw Giselle crying alone a few times. I thought saving her from Mike was all it. No, it was not. She was still getting bullied verbally. I pitied her. I wanted to save her."
Lillian's eyes never wavered as she spoke to Diego. It only burned him more.
"By pitying Giselle, I was protecting her from those vile comments. Once I didn't let anyone do the trash-talk, she smiled a little. I started spending time with her, trying desperately to bring her out of that weak state. I wanted her to get strong or at least be able to stand up for herself. Therefore, I took her out a few times. Slowly, she opened up to me, and I liked it."
Both Diego and Anna witnessed Lillian explain.
"I liked her presence near me. I felt at peace being with Giselle. My sense of protecting and wanting her to get strong changed to possessiveness. I didn't want anyone to get closer to Giselle than me. I felt the difference myself. Despite the possessiveness, it felt warm and safe being with her. I was happy, even though I was selfish."
"It was the same possessiveness that created a rift in between us during the trip. I hurt Mike, and you didn't like the way I behaved. I agree, for a second, I thought that I was acting overly selfish by making decisions for Giselle. I ended up pus.h.i.+ng her away. Anna came at that time, warning me to be careful and make the right choice."
Anna saw Lillian smile at her as she revealed.
"In the end, I spoke to Giselle and resolved it."
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"You know, Diego. It felt perfect. All the time, when I pushed her away, it was me who suffered, but the minute I chose to talk to her, I was happy. All those struggles vanished in an instant."
"Do you realize now who she is to me?" Lillian threw the ball at Diego.
Diego gritted his teeth, refusing to agree to her.
"Right now, what I feel for Giselle is not pity. I know it for sure. I genuinely like her and want to be with her. I hate it when she ignores me, and I don't want to give her to anyone. I don't specifically want Giselle to fall in love with any other girl. I want her standing next to me, all the time."
"We have been through a lot, but what matters is how I feel about her."
Lillian stressed the last few words, intending to make her point, expressing her thoughts profoundly to Diego.
She then laughed, feeling nostalgic. Months backs, she rejected Giselle right away. However, now, she is in love with the same girl.
Anna, who stood away from the two, watched Lillian display her feelings beautifully. She felt proud. If not for Lillian to discern, Anna feared for the consequence. Now, she doesn't need to argue with Diego anymore. It shouldn't matter in the first place.
..
"I'm sorry if I didn't seem to be gay enough, but I don't care what others say, I like Giselle, and I'm planning to ask her out soon," Lillian declared.
With that, Diego felt crushed to instate a contention.
"What if Giselle doesn't accept you? What will you do then?" Diego asked, wanting to know Lillian's determination.
Startled from the question, Lillian did not like it frankly but still gave it a thought.
Why not?
If Lillian Grey rejected her first, there's a possibility that Giselle might reject her too.
After thinking a while, Lillian ended up smiling.
"Whatever, I don't plan on giving up on her, Diego."
"I told you already, right? I won't give her to anyone. She is mine," Lillian grinned happily.
"Now, that's scary. You sounded like a villain, Lilly," Anna remarked.
"Do I? Oh gosh, I shouldn't say these things to her, I guess," Lillian played along, turning away from Diego.
Diego stood the same spot, without budging an inch. All he saw in front of his eyes was a firmly resolved Lillian Grey, who is in love with Giselle. No one other than himself knows the strong-willed Lillian Grey. Once she sets her mind, it will be difficult to distract her.
'Indeed, you are in love with Giselle, Lilly.' – Diego whispers.
"Did you say something?" Lillian asked from the faint noise.
"Nah, nothing," Diego returned.
Seeing him finally give up, Lillian watched Diego feel suspended suddenly. Even if he argues, end of the day, Diego is still her best friend. Lillian couldn't stay angry at him.
"Stop standing there and come here. You two rarely come visit me at the same time, let's play some video games together."
Lillian announced as she hopped her way to a.s.semble the set to play games.
Anna sulked from the idea. She suggested hanging outside, but Lillian insisted on playing games. Lillian also invited the two to stay for lunch. Telling Anna and Diego to clean the area for playing games, she went downstairs to tell Edwin about the lunch plan.
**
Meanwhile, it became silent the minute Lillian left. Anna and Diego didn't speak to each other because of the dispute.
Anna wondered why Diego suddenly raged after knowing about Lillian and Giselle. It was unusual for him to go against his friend's wishes. While gathering the game set, she asked him the reason.
At first, Diego did not respond. Only after a while did he feel the need to speak.
"I only wish her the best."
Diego's answer seems valid, but with the way he acted, Anna advised him that everyone has their opinion, but what matters is to respect it. She also told Diego never to sound h.o.m.ophobic ever again.
Diego quietly agrees. They returned to organize.
Diego notices Anna being supportive of Lillian, nothing different.
..
'What do I do now?' - It was the only thought that went inside Diego's mind.
***