Russel Middlebrook: Double Feature Part 10

Min stopped me. "It's okay. I didn't win that bet."

I looked up at her.

"Sure, different things happened to each of us," she said. "But we were together too, in more ways than one. Even when we weren't together, we were together, you know?"

I thought about this. I remembered Thanksgiving dinner, and how comforting it had felt to be surrounded by such good friends. And I thought about how nice it had been for Min and me to finally share our different experiences with each other. So I guess Min had a point.

"Oh," I said to Min. "Well, in that case, you can pay me!"

Min laughed. Gunnar did too.

"No," I said. "Seriously! Pay up!" 145 Only now did I join in their laughter. If you can't laugh when you're grounded for a month, when can you laugh?

"So what's next?" Gunnar said.

"What do you mean?" Min asked.

"Oh, you know us," Gunnar said. "Seems like we're always in the middle of something. So what's next?"

I had plenty of ideas, but being grounded, I wouldn't be getting to them anytime soon. Besides, you can't go on and on in life, never stopping, never resting. Every now and then, it's a good idea to take a little breather and say, That part of my life is over, and for the time being, we've come to . . .

THE END.

Or is it?

BRENT HARTINGER.

For Jo Ann Jett (aka Mrs. O'Neal), the opposite of a zombie in every way Contents Chapter One.

BODY PARTS. A FLIER on one of the school bulletin... 1 Chapter Two.

THIS IS THE PART where I'm supposed to complain about... 16 Chapter Three.

YES, I WANTED TO get dinner with Leah! 32 Chapter Four.

I WAS DYING TO see Leah again, and I couldn't... 49 Chapter Five.

WE WENT BACK TO that Ethiopian restaurant on McKenzie Street. 70 Chapter Six.

RUSSEL'S BOYFRIEND, OTTO, LIVED in another state, but he was... 82 Chapter Seven.

HERE'S THE THING. I wasn't that upset with Leah's friends... 101 Chapter Eight.

THE NEXT DAY, SAt.u.r.dAY, I had another early morning makeup... 118 Chapter Nine.

DADE, SAVANNAH, AND ALEXIS descended upon Leah's bedroom like a... 128 Chapter Ten.

THE NEXT MORNING, MY mom was reading the newspaper at... 139 CHAPTER ONE.

Body parts. A flier on one of the school bulletin boards was covered with little drawings of them: dismem bered arms and feet and heads dripping with blood. They 1 looked the way I felt. Disconnected.

My friend Gunnar had been the first to notice the flier.

He'd beckoned to me and my other friend Russel on the other side of the hallway.

"They're filming a zombie movie in town, and they need teenagers to be extras, and isn't that cool, we should totally do it!" he said breathlessly. I hadn't seen him this excited since the night they left the gate unlocked at the sewage treatment plant.

I glanced at the words on the flier. ZOMBIES WANTED!it read.

Teenagers needed as extras for upcoming horror film, Attack of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies, to be produced in local area. Come let us turn you into gruesome, monstrous zombies!

The dismembered body parts surrounded these words. My name is Min Wei, I'm sixteen years old, and I con fess I adore monster movies. I was also keen on the idea of giving this movie some racial diversity, because, honestly, when was the last time you saw an Asian-American zombie?

At that moment, however, I was in kind of a p.i.s.sy mood.

2 "Aren't they kind of late for zombies?" I said.

"Halloween was two weeks ago." It was currently the second week in November. "They're filming the movie," said Gunnar. "Not releasing it."

Gunnar is the kind of person who somehow always manages to be wearing the wrong shoes. I would never say this out loud, but Gunnar might even have a mild form of autism, something like Asperger's syndrome. He is very intelligent but can become somewhat obsessive about things. He's also not so skilled at the human-interaction thing, if you know what I mean. However, he is still an extremely nice person.

"And what's a 'brain zombie'?" asked Russel. Russel is my best friend. He is quite adorable, but he doesn't know it, which just makes him that much more adorable. He is also very smart, but pretty emotional, always waving his hands all over the place. When he does that, he reminds me of Kermit the Frog, except with reddish hair. He can sometimes be exasperating, because he always has to see every side to everything. Still, he's a great guy, with possibly the world's biggest heart. Russel is gay, and his boyfriend's name is Otto.

"I know," I said to Russel. "Brain zombies? That doesn't even make sense."

"I'm sure it's explained in the script!" blurted Gunnar. 3 "Look, do you guys want to do it or not? I know Em will." Em is Gunnar's girlfriend. I'd point out that she's really intelligent too, but then that makes three people in a row that I've called smart, and I accept that that might strain my credibility.

"I don't know," I said. I did want to be a zombie extra in the movie. For some reason, I just didn't want to come right out and say that.

Russel looked at me. "What's wrong?"

"Huh? Nothing."

The truth is, I knew exactly why I felt so disconnected. Russel had a boyfriend, and Gunnar had a girlfriend. Ironically, I'm bis.e.xual so I would have been okay with either a boyfriend or a girlfriend. I didn't have either one, however, so I was feeling a little excluded.

"This zombie thing could be fun," said Russel. "Yes, maybe," I said.

"We'll all be together, at least," he said.

"No, we won't," I said. "Not really."

"Yeah, we will!" said Gunnar. "Why wouldn't we be?" "Because people are always alone," I said. "Sure, we're 'together,' but not really. We all might be doing the same thing, being zombie extras on this movie set. But we 4 wouldn't ever really know what the others are thinking or feeling. It'd be a completely different experience for each of us." I know all this makes me sound like a cras.h.i.+ng bore. As I said, I was feeling a little lonely, and this was just my not-so-desperate cry for help.

"Please," said Russel. "Zombie guts are zombie guts are zombie guts."

This was a reference to that Gertrude Stein poem, "A rose is a rose is a rose," which we'd studied in cla.s.s. Like I said, Russel is smart. Funny too.

"Are they?" I said. "Zombie guts might mean one thing to you, but something completely different to me. Even if we were always together, which we won't be, it wouldn't be the same experience at all. I bet you ten dollars that if we do this, we'll have completely different experiences."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean-"

Suddenly Gunnar exploded. "Enough with the boring philosophy talk! Are we going to do the zombie movie or not?"

Russel and I both laughed. We couldn't make Gunnar suffer any longer, so we told him that of course we'd do the movie.

After that, Russel and Gunnar had to leave for cla.s.s. I turned to go in the other direction when a voice said to me, 5 "Nice hair." It was Kevin Land, this big baseball jock. He's tall, dark, and handsome, if you go for that sort of thing. He'd been Russel's first boyfriend the year before, and their breakup had been an unpleasant one. For months afterward, I'd tried to help Russel mend the pieces of his broken heart. For weeks, he had sobbed in my arms, on my shoulder, and on various other body parts. Even before the breakup, however, Kevin had never been my favorite person. He's very popular, and like most people who are popular, he is a selfish weasel. I once asked him to stand up for this kid who was being bullied, and he'd been an absolute baby about it. In fact, Kevin's being such a selfish weasel is the reason why Russel had finally broken up with him.

Kevin's observation about my hair had to do with the fact that I'd recently given myself purple streaks. I could justify this by saying that I'd done it to express my individuality, but no, I'd really just wanted to shock people.

"Hey, Kevin," I said. Russel and Kevin didn't talk anymore, but I still acknowledged him, at least when Russel wasn't around. It's true that he's a selfish weasel, but I think some people have the opinion that I'm a little stuck up, so I try not to give anyone the cold shoulder.

6 "What's going on?" he said. "I thought I just saw you talking to Russel."

"They're filming a movie here in town," I said, gesturing to the poster on the bulletin board. "They need extras to be zombies, and Gunnar, Russel, and I are going to do it." "Really?" Suddenly the poster had Kevin's attention. "Wait," I said. "Why do you care?"

Kevin smiled enigmatically. "What makes you think I care?"

With that smug grin still on his face, he turned and sauntered on down the hallway.

Here's the thing. Like Gunnar, Russel, and Em, I'm pretty smart. I hate to boast, but I was the smartest person even in GAT, which stands for "Gifted and Talented." I've always gotten a 4.0 without even trying, and I have no memory of anyone ever using a word that I didn't already know the meaning of. Even among other Asians, I stand out as unusually intelligent.

Given how supposedly smart I am, you'd think that it would have occurred to me before that very moment that there might be a reason why Kevin Land, Big Baseball Jock, still talked to me, Chow Mein Brain. It's true that I had dyed my hair purple, but when it comes to unpopularity at Robert L. Goodkind High School, a 4.0 GPA trumps purple hair any day. 7 Kevin obviously still liked Russel. Being Russel's best friend, I had all kinds of inside information on him. That's why Kevin kept talking to me. It was all so obvious.

Now I had given Kevin specific information on what Russel was going to be doing in the weeks ahead. Russel, however, had a new boyfriend now, Otto, and the last thing he needed was Kevin waltzing back into his life.

In other words, I may be really, really smart, but sometimes I can be pretty darn dumb.

* * * Attack of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies was being filmed at a local high school, which had been closed for the year for renovations. Three days later, Russel, Gunnar, Em, and I went to an afternoon a.s.sembly at the auditorium of that high school, to find out exactly what was involved in our being zombie extras.

As we were sitting in the seats waiting for something to happen, Gunnar said, "Carrots and peas."

I stared at him. Like I said, sometimes he can be a little off.

"That's what movie extras are supposed to say to make it look like they're really talking," he went on. "They don't 8 say real words, they just repeat the phrase 'carrots and peas'

over and over again."

"Really?" said Em. "That's very interesting!" Obviously, there is a reason why Em is Gunnar's girlfriend.

As the others kept talking, I looked around the auditorium. About forty teenagers had showed up for this meeting, mostly from other high schools in the area. I didn't see Kevin, which made me breathe a sigh of relief. Maybe he wasn't trying to ingratiate himself back into Russel's life after all.

I also didn't see very many girls. There were eight of us in all, including Em and me. They were all "aspiring model" types, just desperate for any chance to preen and "make love to the camera," even if they'd be making love as zombies. As for the guys, they appeared to be a bunch of computer gamers and role-playing aficionados, with lots of wispy beards and T-s.h.i.+rts with pictures of weaponry. None of this should have surprised me, but I was still disappointed.

Here's the thing. Part of the reason why I'd ultimately agreed to do this movie-extra thing was that I thought it might be a good way to meet someone. Most people really don't understand bis.e.xuality. I hate it when people talk like bis.e.xual people are indecisive, unable to make up their minds. It's not a question of being changeable, like a sea 9 anemone, able to switch genders. I don't s.h.i.+ft or waver or change, and I'm not on my way to anything other than being bi; I've always been bis.e.xual, and I always will be. Why is that so hard for people to understand?

It's also not the case that I'm attracted to all guys and all girls-"anything that moves," as some people like to say. Like anyone, I'm only attracted to some people-some of them guys and some of them girls.

What kind of guys and girls do I like? Here's where it gets complicated. I hate the extremes: giggly girls with their catty backstabbing and frilly lace bras, and macho guys with their ridiculous swagger and stupid s.e.x jokes. These people all seem like they're trying too hard. I like people who are comfortable in their own skin. I also like it when someone is confident and decisive and bold and generally just not afraid of making some waves in life.

Listen to me. I have this specific list of requirements for a boyfriend or a girlfriend, like I'm this fantastic catch myself.

All this was moot, of course. They say that romance comes when you least expect it. I'd come to this meeting expecting it, so it wouldn't come. Or would it? Since I knew that romance only comes when you least expect it, 10 and I was expecting it, ironically I was no longer expecting it. So maybe romance would come. Thinking that, however, meant I was expecting it again.

Sometimes life is so confusing.

Finally, two young guys walked out onstage. They introduced themselves as the producer and director of Attack of the Soul-Sucking Brain Zombies. They talked a little bit about the movie itself, about how they saw it as both a satire of and homage to other monster movies. When it comes to movies, talk like this makes me nervous, because it always seems like someone is trying to make excuses for character cliches and formulaic plots.

As the director and producer talked, another girl took a seat on the aisle over to my right. She was tall but didn't slouch; had blond hair, but had pulled it back into a simple ponytail; and had smooth skin, but wore only lip gloss. Her navy jacket looked like something from the Civil War-Union, not Confederate-complete with bra.s.s b.u.t.tons in front and actual epaulets on the shoulders.

The producer kept talking, but I wasn't listening anymore. I was staring at the girl on the aisle. Maybe it was the epaulets, but I couldn't keep my eyes off her.

Finally, they asked us if we had any questions. Gunnar, of course, made an inquiry about fake blood. 11 I kept staring at the girl in epaulets.

This time, however, she looked right at me, and smiled. Had she seen me staring at her all along? The overhead lights were still on, so it was pretty likely that she had.

Panicking, I turned back to the stage. For some reason, I felt like I should pretend I had been listening to the producer all along, so I raised my hand and asked how much we'd be paid.

Shortly thereafter, the producer and the director gave us a demonstration of the special effects they'd be using in the movie. It was all very impressive, and the audience loved it. However, I was still thinking about the girl in the epaulets, and what exactly that smile meant. Could it be she was interested? Of course that meant I was back to "expecting" a romance, which meant it definitely wasn't going to happen.

We had at least one thing in common. She had epaulets; I had purple hair. If this had been a game show, the category would be Things That People Stare At.

I made the decision to talk to her on the way out of the auditorium. "It's going to take some work to turn you into a zombie," I would say, flirting brazenly. She would blush, fl.u.s.tered, but then say how much she liked my pur 12 ple hair. Only now would I comment on her epaulets, since that was the obvious thing, and we would go from there. She might even invite me out for coffee. I had come alone in my own car, so it was conceivable that I could go.

Finally, the meeting was over, and we all stood up to leave. I turned toward the girl in the epaulets, to sort of maneuver my way toward her.

I didn't see her. I did spot Kevin Land, however. He had been sitting in the back row. I knew in an instant that he was waiting there to do to Russel what I was trying to do to the girl in the epaulets-to "accidentally" run into him. This was the last thing Russel needed. I knew how much he missed Kevin.

This was entirely my fault. Why had I been so stupid as to tell Kevin that Russel and I were doing this movie? I needed to stop this from happening.

"Russel?" I said. "Wait! Let's go out the other way!" I don't think he heard me. I grabbed him by the jacket, but it was too late. He'd already entered the river of people rolling toward the exit. The current was too strong, and I lost my grip on him. There was no way to stop him from running into Kevin now. I decided to follow close behind to see if I could minimize the damage.

Russel saw Kevin almost immediately. 13 "Kevin?" he said. I couldn't help but notice how pleased he looked.

"Kevin!" I said. I didn't disguise the annoyance in my own voice.

"Hey, Russel!" said Kevin. "Hey, Min." He wouldn't look at me, probably due to the fact that I was scowling at him from right behind Russel.

"Uh, what are you doing here?" Russel asked him. As if I didn't know.

"Well," said Kevin. "I wanted to be a zombie."

"Is that right ?" I said pointedly. I was more aware than ever that Kevin is exactly the kind of macho guy I detest: strong on the outside, but with absolutely no backbone, at least not when it comes to anything real.

"Yeah," said Kevin. "That was pretty cool, what they did, huh?" He meant the display of special effects that the producer and director had had up onstage.

"Huh?" said Russel. "Oh, yeah, it was. So you came here to be a movie extra too?"

"Yeah," said Kevin. "I saw that poster in the hallway, and I thought it looked really interesting."