Infinite Jest Part 51

I farted, but it didn't produce a noise. I was bored. I couldn't remember a time when Pemulis had bored me. 'And I do not need you launching temptation-rhetoric my way,' I said.

Keith Freer appeared in the doorway, leaning against the jamb with his bare arms crossed. He was still wearing the weird unitard he slept in, which made him look like someone who tore phone books in half at a sideshow.

'Does somebody have an explanation why there's human flesh on the hall window upstairs?' he said.

'We're convers ing here,' Pemulis told him. ing here,' Pemulis told him.

I half sat up. 'Flesh?'

Freer looked down at me. 'This is nothing to laugh at I don't think Hal. There's I swear to f.u.c.king G.o.d a human strip of forehead-flesh upstairs on the hall window, and what looks like two eyebrows, and bits of nose. And now Tall Paul says down in the lobby Stice was seen coming out of the infirmary wearing something out of Zorro.'

Pemulis was completely vertical, standing again; I could hear his knees as he rose. 'It's like a tete-a-tete in here, brother. We're in here bunkered, mano a-'

'Stice got stuck to the window,' I explained, lying all the way back down. 'Kenkle and Brandt were going to detach him with warm water from a janitorial bucket.'

Pemulis said 'How do you get stuck to a window?'

'Well from the looks it looks like they detached half his face from his head,' Freer said, feeling at his own forehead and shuddering a little.

Kieran McKenna's little porcine snout appeared in a gap under Freer's arm. He still wore his stupid full-head gauze wrap for his supposed bruised skull. 'Did you guys get to see The Darkness? Gopnik said he looks like a piece of cheese pizza where somebody tore the cheese off. Gopnik said Troeltsch is charging two bucks a look.' He ran off toward the stairwell without waiting for a reply, his pocket jingling madly. Freer looked at Pemulis and opened his mouth, then apparently reconsidered and followed off down the hall. We could hear a couple of sarcastic whistles at Freer's unitard.

Pemulis reappeared at the top of my vision; his right eye was definitely twitching. 'This is what I meant about going someplace discreet. When have I ever urgently asked you to dialogue before, Inc?'

'Certainly not within the last few days, Mike, that's for sure.'

There was an extended pause. I raised my hands over my face and looked at their shapes against the indirect lights.

Pemulis finally said 'Well, I'm going to go make sure I eat before I have to see Stice without a f.u.c.king forehead.'

'Have an a.n.a.log for me,' I said. 'Let me know if there's word on the meet. I'll eat if I'm going to have to play.'

Pemulis licked his palm and tried to get his cowlicks to behave. From my vantage he was high overhead and upside-down. 'So are you going to get up and go up and get dressed and stand on one foot with that opera thing on at some point? Because I could eat and then come up. We can tell Mario we need to mano-a-tete.'

Now I was making a cage of my hands and watching the light through its shape as I rotated it. 'Will you do me a favor? Get Good-Looking Men in Small Clever Rooms That Utilize Every Centimeter of Available s.p.a.ce with Mind-Boggling Efficiency Good-Looking Men in Small Clever Rooms That Utilize Every Centimeter of Available s.p.a.ce with Mind-Boggling Efficiency out for me. It's about a dozen cartridges in from the right on the third shelf down in the entertainment-case. Cue it up to about 2300, 2350 maybe? The last five minutes or so.' out for me. It's about a dozen cartridges in from the right on the third shelf down in the entertainment-case. Cue it up to about 2300, 2350 maybe? The last five minutes or so.'

'The third shelf down,' I said as he scanned, tapping a foot. 'They've got all Himself's stuff together on the third shelf.'

He scanned. 'Baby Pictures of Famous Dictators? Fun with Teeth? Annular Fusion Is Our Fiend? I haven't even heard of half your Dad's s.h.i.+t that's here.' I haven't even heard of half your Dad's s.h.i.+t that's here.'

'It's Friend, Friend, not not Fiend Fiend. Either it's mislabeled or the label's peeling. And they're supposed to be alphabetized. It ought to be right next to Flux in a Box Flux in a Box.'

'And me using the poor guy's lab,' Pemulis said. He loaded the player and turned on the viewer, his knees popping again as he squatted to set the cue to 2350. The huge screen hummed in a low pitch that ascended as it began to warm up, the screen taking on a milky blue aspect like the eye of a dead bird. Pemulis's feet were bare and I looked at the calluses on his heels. He tossed the cartridge's case carelessly on a couch or chair behind me and looked down. 'What the f.u.c.k's Fun with Teeth Fun with Teeth supposed to be about?' supposed to be about?'

I tried to shrug against the friction of the carpet. 'Pretty much what it says it's about.' The funeral had been held on 5 or 6 April in St. Adalbert, a small town built around spud-storage facilities fewer than five clicks west of the Great Concavity. We'd all had to fly up by way of Newfoundland because of the volume of waste-displacement launches that spring. And commercial airlines hadn't yet had data on high-alt.i.tude Dioxin levels over the Concavity. Cloud-cover prevented our seeing much of the New Brunswick coast, which I'm told was a mercy. What happened at the funeral service itself was simply that a circling gull scored a direct white hit on the shoulder of C.T.'s blue blazer, and that when he opened his mouth in shock at the direct hit, a large blue-bodied fly flew right into his mouth and was hard to extract. Several persons laughed. It was no huge or dramatic thing. The Moms probably laughed hardest of anyone.

The TP's tracker chugged and clicked, and the viewer bloomed. Pemulis had been wearing parachute pants and a tam-o'-shanter and lensless spectacles, but no shoes. The cartridge started close to what I'd wanted to review, the protagonist's climactic lecture. Paul Anthony Heaven, all 50 kilos of him, gripping the lectern with both hands so you could see that he was missing his thumbs, the sad dyed strands combed over his bald spot visible because he had his head down, reading the lecture in the deadening academic monotone that Himself so loved. The monotone was the reason why Himself used Paul Anthony Heaven, a nonprofessional, by trade a data-entry drone for Ocean Spray, in anything that required a deadening inst.i.tutional presence - Paul Anthony Heaven had also played the threatening supervisor in Wave Bye-Bye to the Bureaucrat, Wave Bye-Bye to the Bureaucrat, the Ma.s.sachusetts State Commissioner for Beach and Water Safety in the Ma.s.sachusetts State Commissioner for Beach and Water Safety in Safe Boating Is No Accident, Safe Boating Is No Accident, and a Parkinsonian corporate auditor in and a Parkinsonian corporate auditor in Low-Temperature Civics Low-Temperature Civics.

'Thus the Flood's real consequence is revealed to be desiccation, generations of hydrophobia on a pandemic scale,' the protagonist was reading aloud. Peterson's The Cage The Cage was running on a large screen behind the lectern. A number of shots of undergraduates with their heads on their desks, reading their mail, making origami animals, picking at their faces with blank intensity, established that the climactic lecture wasn't coming off as all that climactic to the audience within the film. 'We thus become, in the absence of death as teleologic end, ourselves desiccated, deprived of some essential fluid, aridly cerebral, abstract, conceptual, little more than hallucinations of G.o.d,' the academic read in a deadly drone, his eyes never leaving his lectern's text. The art-cartridge critics and scholars who point to the frequent presence of audiences inside Himself's films, and argue that the fact that the audiences are always either dumb and unappreciative or the victims of some grisly entertainment-mishap betrays more than a little hostility on the part of an ' was running on a large screen behind the lectern. A number of shots of undergraduates with their heads on their desks, reading their mail, making origami animals, picking at their faces with blank intensity, established that the climactic lecture wasn't coming off as all that climactic to the audience within the film. 'We thus become, in the absence of death as teleologic end, ourselves desiccated, deprived of some essential fluid, aridly cerebral, abstract, conceptual, little more than hallucinations of G.o.d,' the academic read in a deadly drone, his eyes never leaving his lectern's text. The art-cartridge critics and scholars who point to the frequent presence of audiences inside Himself's films, and argue that the fact that the audiences are always either dumb and unappreciative or the victims of some grisly entertainment-mishap betrays more than a little hostility on the part of an 'auteur' pegged as technically gifted but narratively dull and plotless and static and not entertaining enough - these academics' arguments seem sound as far as they go, but they do not explain the incredible pathos of Paul Anthony Heaven reading his lecture to a crowd of dead-eyed kids picking at themselves and drawing vacant airplane- and genitaliadoodles on their college-rule note-pads, reading stupefyingly turgid-sounding s.h.i.+t 366 366 - 'For while - 'For while clinamen clinamen and and tessera tessera strive to revive or revise the dead ancestor, and while strive to revive or revise the dead ancestor, and while kenosis kenosis and and daemonization daemonization act to repress consciousness and memory of the dead ancestor, it is, finally, artistic act to repress consciousness and memory of the dead ancestor, it is, finally, artistic askesis askesis which represents the contest proper, the battle-to-the-death with the loved dead' - in a monotone as narcotizing as a voice from the grave - and yet all the time weeping, Paul Anthony Heaven, as an upward hall full of kids all scan their mail, the film-teacher not sobbing or wiping his nose on his tweed sleeve but silently weeping, very steadily, so that tears run down Heaven's gaunt face and gather on his underslung chin and fall from view, glistening slightly, below the lectern's frame of sight. Then this too began to seem familiar. which represents the contest proper, the battle-to-the-death with the loved dead' - in a monotone as narcotizing as a voice from the grave - and yet all the time weeping, Paul Anthony Heaven, as an upward hall full of kids all scan their mail, the film-teacher not sobbing or wiping his nose on his tweed sleeve but silently weeping, very steadily, so that tears run down Heaven's gaunt face and gather on his underslung chin and fall from view, glistening slightly, below the lectern's frame of sight. Then this too began to seem familiar.

He hadn't in the beginning burgled, Gately, as a full-time drug addict, though he did sometimes promote small valuables from the apartments of the strung-out nurses he X'd and copped samples from. After the bailout from school, Gately worked full-time for a time for a North Sh.o.r.e bookmaker, a guy that also owned several t.i.tty clubs down Rte. 1 in Saugus, Whitey Sorkin, that had sort of casually befriended him when Gately was still playing high-profile ball. His professional a.s.sociation with Whitey Sorkin continued part-time even after Gately discovered his real B&E vocation, though he tended more and more toward less taxing nonviolent crime.

But from age like eighteen to twenty-three, Gately and the prenominate Gene Fackelmann - a towering, slope-shouldered, wide-hipped, prematurely potbellied, oddly priapistic, and congenitally high-strung Dilaudid addict with a walrusy mustache that seemed to have a nervous life of its own - these two served as like Whitey Sorkin's operatives in the field, taking bets and phoning them in to Saugus, delivering winnings, and collecting debts. It was never clear to Gately why Whitey Sorkin was called Whitey, because he spent a huge amount of time under ultraviolet lamps as part of an esoteric cl.u.s.ter-headache-treatment regimen and so was the constant s.h.i.+ny color of a sort of like dark soap, with almost the same color and coin-of-the-realm cla.s.sic profile as the cheery young Pakistani M.D. who'd told Gately at Our Lady of Solace Hospital in Beverly how Teddibly Soddy he was that Mrs. G.'s cirrhosis and cirrhotic stroke had left her at roughly the neurologic level of a Brussels sprout and then given him public-transportation directions to the Point s.h.i.+rley L.T.I.

Eugene ('Fax') Fackelmann, who'd dropped out of the Lynn MA educational system at like ten, had met Whitey Sorkin through the same eczematic, gamble-happy pharmacist's a.s.sistant Gately had first met Sorkin through. Gately was now no longer called Bimmy or Doshka. He was Don now, nicknameless. Sometimes Donny. Sorkin referred to Gately and Fackelmann as his Twin Towers. They were more or less Sorkin's paid muscle. Except not in any sort of way important crime figures' paid muscle is portrayed in popular entertainment. They didn't stand impa.s.sively flanking Sorkin at crime-figure meetings or light his cigar or call him 'Boss' or anything. They weren't his bodyguards. In fact they weren't physically around him that much; they usually dealt with Sorkin and his Saugus office and secretary via beepers and cellular phones. 367 367 And while they did collect debts for Sorkin, including bad debts (especially Gately), it's not like Gately went around breaking debtors' kneecaps. Even the threat of coercive violence was pretty rare. Partly, Gately and Fackelmann's sheer size was enough to keep delinquencies from getting out of hand. And partly it was that everybody involved usually knew each other - Sorkin, his bettors and debtors, Gately and Fackelmann, other drug addicts (who sometimes bet, or more often dealt with Gately and Fackelmann for guys that did), even the North Sh.o.r.e Finest's Vice guys, many of whom also sometimes bet with Sorkin because he gave the Finest special civil-servant reductions on vigorish. It was all like this community. Usually Gately's job on bad debts or delinquent vig was to go around to the debtor at whatever bar the guy watched satellite sports at and just inform him that the debt was threatening to get out of hand - making the debt itself seem like the delinquent party - and that Whitey was concerned about it, and work out some arrangement or payment-plan with the guy. Then the young Gately'd go into the bar's head and cell-phone Sorkin and get his OK on whatever arrangement they'd worked out. Gately was laid-back and affable and never had a hard word for anybody, hardly. Nor did Whitey Sorkin: a lot of his bettors were old and steady customers, and lines of credit went with the territory. Most of the rare debt-trouble that called for size and coercion involved guys with a gambling problem, kind of pathetic furtive guys addicted to the rush of the bet, who got themselves in a hole and then tried suicidally to bet their way out of the hole, and who'd bet with several bookies at once, and who'd lie and agree to payment-arrangements they had no intention of sticking to, suicidally betting they could keep all their debts in the air until they could square themselves with the major long-shot score they were always sure was around the corner. These types were painful, because usually Gately knew the debtors and they'd exploit his knowing them and beg and weep and tug at both Gately's and Whitey Sorkin's heartstrings with tales of loved ones and wasting illnesses. They'd sit there and look into Gately's eyes and lie and believe their own lies, and Gately would have to call in the debtors' lies and sob-stories and get Sorkin's explicit decision on if to believe them and what to do. These types were Gately's first exposure to the concept of real addiction and what it can turn someone into; he hadn't yet connected the concept to drugs really, except c.o.ke-heads and hardcore needle-jockeys, who at that point all seemed to him just as furtive and pathetic as the gambling-addicts, in their own way. These sob-story-, one-more-chance-types were also the types that put Whitey Sorkin through h.e.l.l in terms of emotionally, causing Whitey cl.u.s.ter headaches and terrible cranio-facial neuralgia, and at a certain point Sorkin used to start adding (to the delinquent skeet, the vig, and the interest) extra charges for his own required intake of Cafergot 368 368 spansules and UV light and visits to Enfield MA's National Cranio-Facial Pain Foundation. The use of Gately and Fackelmann's rump-roast-sized fists in actual hands-on coercion got called for only when a compulsive debtor's lies and hole got serious enough that Sorkin became willing to forgo the guy's patronage in the future. At this sort of point, Whitey Sorkin's business-objective became to somehow induce the addicted debtor to cover his debts to Sorkin before the debtor covered his debts to any of the other books he was into, which meant for Sorkin that he had to vividly demonstrate to the debtor that Sorkin's was the least pleasant hole to be in and the most important one to get out of. Enter the Twin Towers. The violence was to be tightly controlled and gradually progressive in like stages. The first round of incentivizing hose-work - a light beating, maybe a broken digit or two - usually fell to Gene Fackelmann, not only because he was the naturally crueler of the Twin Towers and rather liked putting a digit in a car door, but also because he had a controlled restraint Gately lacked: Sorkin found that once Gately got started in physically on somebody it was like something ferocious and uncontrolled on a slope inside the big kid got dislodged and started to roll on its own, and sometimes Gately wouldn't be able to stop himself before the debtor was reduced to a condition where he wasn't even going to be able to raise his head, much less funds, at which point not only did Sorkin have to write off the debt but the big kid Donny'd get so guilty and remorseful he'd triple his drug-intake and be no use to f.u.c.king n.o.body for a week. Sorkin learned how to use his Towers to maximize their strengths. Fackelmann got the first-round light work for coercive collections, but Gately was better than Fax at negotiating arrangements with guys so it never had to come to violence. And there were certain harder cases, cases that laid Sorkin out in bed with cranio-facial stress for days at a time because they were hard-case addicts that were either so far gone or so deep in so many holes that Fackelmann's light cruelty didn't resolve the situation. At an extreme point with some of these cases Sorkin got to a point where he was willing to forgo not only the debtor's future patronage but also the remittance due; at a certain point the goal was to minimize future spansules and UV light and visits to Enfield MA's National Cranio-Facial Pain Foundation. The use of Gately and Fackelmann's rump-roast-sized fists in actual hands-on coercion got called for only when a compulsive debtor's lies and hole got serious enough that Sorkin became willing to forgo the guy's patronage in the future. At this sort of point, Whitey Sorkin's business-objective became to somehow induce the addicted debtor to cover his debts to Sorkin before the debtor covered his debts to any of the other books he was into, which meant for Sorkin that he had to vividly demonstrate to the debtor that Sorkin's was the least pleasant hole to be in and the most important one to get out of. Enter the Twin Towers. The violence was to be tightly controlled and gradually progressive in like stages. The first round of incentivizing hose-work - a light beating, maybe a broken digit or two - usually fell to Gene Fackelmann, not only because he was the naturally crueler of the Twin Towers and rather liked putting a digit in a car door, but also because he had a controlled restraint Gately lacked: Sorkin found that once Gately got started in physically on somebody it was like something ferocious and uncontrolled on a slope inside the big kid got dislodged and started to roll on its own, and sometimes Gately wouldn't be able to stop himself before the debtor was reduced to a condition where he wasn't even going to be able to raise his head, much less funds, at which point not only did Sorkin have to write off the debt but the big kid Donny'd get so guilty and remorseful he'd triple his drug-intake and be no use to f.u.c.king n.o.body for a week. Sorkin learned how to use his Towers to maximize their strengths. Fackelmann got the first-round light work for coercive collections, but Gately was better than Fax at negotiating arrangements with guys so it never had to come to violence. And there were certain harder cases, cases that laid Sorkin out in bed with cranio-facial stress for days at a time because they were hard-case addicts that were either so far gone or so deep in so many holes that Fackelmann's light cruelty didn't resolve the situation. At an extreme point with some of these cases Sorkin got to a point where he was willing to forgo not only the debtor's future patronage but also the remittance due; at a certain point the goal was to minimize future other other hard cases by making it clear that W. Sorkin was one book you couldn't just flagrantly stay in the hole with and lie to for month after month without having your map seriously f.u.c.king reconfigured. Here again, in this-type case Gately's internal out-of-control slope of ferocity was superior to Fackelmann's easy but ultimately shallow sadism. hard cases by making it clear that W. Sorkin was one book you couldn't just flagrantly stay in the hole with and lie to for month after month without having your map seriously f.u.c.king reconfigured. Here again, in this-type case Gately's internal out-of-control slope of ferocity was superior to Fackelmann's easy but ultimately shallow sadism. 369 369 W. Sorkin, like most psychosomatic-level neurotics, was spiteful to his enemies and overgenerous to his friends. Gately and Fackelmann each received 5% vig on the 10% vigorish Sorkin took on every bet, and Sorkin made over $200,000 worth of book all over the North Sh.o.r.e on a week's pro ball alone, which for most diplomaless young Americans 1,000+ per pre-millennial week would have been a very handsome living, but for the Twin Towers' rigid physical scheduling of narcotics needs was not even 60% enough, weekly. Gately and Fackelmann moonlighted, and for a while separately - Fackelmann's sideline with I.D.s and creative personal checking, Gately working freelance Security for large card games and small drug-deliveries - but even before they were a real crew they copped as a unit, as in together, plus once in a moon with poor old V. Nucci, for whom Gately also occasionally held the rope on late-night Osco-and-Rite-Aid-skylight missions, his entree to formal burglary proper. The fact that Gately was devoted to Percocets and Bam-Bams and Fackelmann to Dilaudid allowed them a high level of trust with each other's stashes. Gately would do Blues, which had to be injected, only when no oral narcs were to be got and he was face to face with early Withdrawal. Gately feared and despised needles and was terrified of the Virus, which in those days was laying out needle-jockeys left and right. Fackelmann would cook up for Gately and tie him off and let Gately watch closely as he took the plastic wrap off a mint-new syringe and needle-cartridge Fackelmann could get with a fake Medicaid Iletin 370 370 I.D. for diabetes mellitus. The worst thing about Dilaudid for Gately was that the hydromorphone's transit across the blood-brain barrier created a terrible five-second mnemonic hallucination where he was a gargantuan toddler in an XXL Fisher-Price crib in a sandy field under a storm-cloudy sky that bulged and receded like a big gray lung. Fackelmann would loosen the belt and stand back and watch Gately's eyes roll up as he broke a malarial sweat and stared up at the delusion's respiritic sky while his huge hands throttled the air in front him just like a toddler shakes at the bars of his crib. Then after five or so seconds the Dilaudid would cross over and kick, and the sky stopped breathing and turned blue. A Dilaudid nod made Gately mute and sodden for three hours. I.D. for diabetes mellitus. The worst thing about Dilaudid for Gately was that the hydromorphone's transit across the blood-brain barrier created a terrible five-second mnemonic hallucination where he was a gargantuan toddler in an XXL Fisher-Price crib in a sandy field under a storm-cloudy sky that bulged and receded like a big gray lung. Fackelmann would loosen the belt and stand back and watch Gately's eyes roll up as he broke a malarial sweat and stared up at the delusion's respiritic sky while his huge hands throttled the air in front him just like a toddler shakes at the bars of his crib. Then after five or so seconds the Dilaudid would cross over and kick, and the sky stopped breathing and turned blue. A Dilaudid nod made Gately mute and sodden for three hours.

Besides the maddening itch behind the eyes, Fackelmann didn't like oral narcotics because he said they gave him terrible sugar-cravings that his huge soft slumped weight wouldn't tolerate indulging. Not exactly the swiftest s.h.i.+p in Her Majesty's fleet in terms of like upstairs, Fackelmann was resistant to Gately's pointing out that Dilaudid also gave the Faxman terrible sugar-cravings, as did actually just about everything. The plain truth was that Fackelmann just really liked Dilaudid.

Then good old Trent Kite got the administrative Shoe from Salem State, who informed him he'd never study in the industry again, and Gately brought Kite into the crew, and Kite threw together some old-time QuoVadis for a small crew-warming party, and Fackelmann introduced Kite to pharmaceutical-grade Dilaudid, and Kite found a new friend for life, he said; and Kite and Fackelmann swiftly fell into the I.D.-, credit-history-and-furnished-luxury-apartment-scam, in which by this time Gately involved himself pretty much only as a hobby, preferring bold nighttime merchandise-promotion to fraud, which fraud tended to involve meeting the people you stole from, which Gately found slimy and kind of awkward.

Gately lay in the Trauma Ward in terrific infected pain, trying to Abide between cravings for relief by remembering a blinding white afternoon just after Xmas, when Fackelmann and Kite were off disposing of some of a furnished apartment's furnis.h.i.+ngs and Gately was killing time in the apartment laminating some false MA drivers licenses rush-ordered by rich Philips Andover Academy 371 371 kids for what turned out to be the last New Year's Eve of Unsubsidized Time. He'd been standing at an ironing board in the by now pretty much unfurnished apartment, ironing laminates onto the fake licenses, watching good old Boston U. play Clemson in the Ken-L-Ration-Magnavox-Kemper-Insurance Forsythia Bowl on a c.u.mbersome first-generation InterLace HDV hanging on the bare wall, the high-def viewer always now the last luxury furnis.h.i.+ng to be fenced. The winter daylight through the penthouse windows was dazzling and fell across the viewer's big flat screen and made the players look bleached and ghostly. Through the windows off in the distance was the Atlantic O., gray and dull with salt. The B.U. punter was a hometown Boston kid the announcers kept inserting was a walk-on and an inspirational story that had never played a major sport until college and now was already one of the finest punt-specialists in N.C.A.A. history, and had the potential to be a lock for a pretty much limitless pro ball career if he bore down and kept his eye on the carrot. The B.U. punter was two years younger than Don Gately. Gately's big digits could barely fit around the iron's EZ-grip handle, and stooping over the ironing board made the small of his back ache, and he hadn't eaten anything except deep-fried stuff out of s.h.i.+ny plastic packaging for like a week, and the stink of the plastic laminates under the iron stunk wicked bad, and his big square face sagged lower and lower as he stared at the punter's ghostly digital image until he found himself starting to cry like a babe. It came out of emotional nowheres all of a sudden, and he found himself blubbering at the loss of organized ball, his one gift and other love, his own stupidity and lack of discipline, that blasted c.o.c.ksucking kids for what turned out to be the last New Year's Eve of Unsubsidized Time. He'd been standing at an ironing board in the by now pretty much unfurnished apartment, ironing laminates onto the fake licenses, watching good old Boston U. play Clemson in the Ken-L-Ration-Magnavox-Kemper-Insurance Forsythia Bowl on a c.u.mbersome first-generation InterLace HDV hanging on the bare wall, the high-def viewer always now the last luxury furnis.h.i.+ng to be fenced. The winter daylight through the penthouse windows was dazzling and fell across the viewer's big flat screen and made the players look bleached and ghostly. Through the windows off in the distance was the Atlantic O., gray and dull with salt. The B.U. punter was a hometown Boston kid the announcers kept inserting was a walk-on and an inspirational story that had never played a major sport until college and now was already one of the finest punt-specialists in N.C.A.A. history, and had the potential to be a lock for a pretty much limitless pro ball career if he bore down and kept his eye on the carrot. The B.U. punter was two years younger than Don Gately. Gately's big digits could barely fit around the iron's EZ-grip handle, and stooping over the ironing board made the small of his back ache, and he hadn't eaten anything except deep-fried stuff out of s.h.i.+ny plastic packaging for like a week, and the stink of the plastic laminates under the iron stunk wicked bad, and his big square face sagged lower and lower as he stared at the punter's ghostly digital image until he found himself starting to cry like a babe. It came out of emotional nowheres all of a sudden, and he found himself blubbering at the loss of organized ball, his one gift and other love, his own stupidity and lack of discipline, that blasted c.o.c.ksucking Ethan From, Ethan From, his Mom's Sir Osis and vegetabilization and his failure after four years ever yet to visit, feeling suddenly lower than bottom-feeder-s.h.i.+t, standing over hot laminates and Polaroid squares and little stick-on D.M.V. letters for rich blond male boys, in the blazing winter light, blubbering amid fraudulent stink and tear-steam. It was two days later he got pinched for a.s.saulting one bouncer with the unconscious body of another bouncer, in Danvers MA, and three months after that that he went to Billerica Minimum. his Mom's Sir Osis and vegetabilization and his failure after four years ever yet to visit, feeling suddenly lower than bottom-feeder-s.h.i.+t, standing over hot laminates and Polaroid squares and little stick-on D.M.V. letters for rich blond male boys, in the blazing winter light, blubbering amid fraudulent stink and tear-steam. It was two days later he got pinched for a.s.saulting one bouncer with the unconscious body of another bouncer, in Danvers MA, and three months after that that he went to Billerica Minimum.

Entrepot-bound, twitchy-eyed and checking both sides behind him as he comes, rounding the curve of Subdormitory B's hall with his stick and little solid frustum-shaped stool, Michael Pemulis sees at least eight panels of the drop-ceiling have somehow fallen out of their aluminum struts and are on the floor - some broken in that incomplete, hingey way stuff with fabric-content gets broken - including the relevant panel. No old sneaker is in evidence on the floor as he clears the panels to plant the stool, his incredibly potent Bentley-Phelps penlight in his teeth, looking up into the darkness of the struts' lattice.

Given the Faxter's historical proclavity for fraudulent scams, it was amazing to Gately that he didn't ever know how Fackelmann had been fraudulently getting over on Whitey Sorkin in all kinds of little ways almost from the start, and didn't even find it out until the not at all small scam with Eighties Bill and Sixties Bob, which took place during the three months Gately was out on bail Sorkin had generously put up. By this time Gately had fallen in with two lesbian pharmaceutical-cocaine addicts he'd met at the gym doing upside-down sit-ups from the chin-up bar (the lesbians, not Gately, who was strictly from bench, curl, and squat). These vigorous girls ran a rather intriguing house-cleaning-and-key-copying-and-burglary operation in Peabody and Wakefield, and Gately had begun working heavy-merchandise-lifting and 44-vehicle-promotion for them, serious full-time burglary, as his taste for even the threat of violence diminished on account of remorse at the bouncer-damage he'd inflicted in that Danvers bar after just seven Hefenreffers and an innocent comment about the B.-S.H.S.'s Minutemen's inferiority to the Danvers H.S. Roughriders; and Gately left more and more of Sorkin's transfer-and-collection work to Fackelmann, who by this time had gotten back into oral narcotics out of Virus-fears and stopped resisting the sugar-cravings he a.s.sociated with oral narcs and gotten so fat and soft his s.h.i.+rtfront looked like an accordion when he sat down to eat Peanut M&M's and nod, and now also to a bad-news new guy Sorkin had lately befriended and put to work, a fuchsia-haired Harvard Square punk-type kid with a build like a stump and round black unblinking eyes, an old-fas.h.i.+oned street-junk needle-jockey that went by the moniker Bobby C or just 'C,' and liked to hurt people, the only I.V.-heroin addict Gately'd come across that actually preferred violence, with no lips at all and purple hair in three great towering spikes and little bare patches in the hair on his forearms - from constantly testing the edge on his boot-knife - and a leather jacket with way more zippers than anybody could ever need, and a pre-electric earring that hung way down and was a roaring skull in gold-plate flames.

Gene Fackelmann had, it turns out, for years been getting fraudulently over on Whitey Sorkin's bookmaking operation in all sorts of little ways that Gately and Kite (according to Kite) hadn't known about. Usually it was something like Fax taking long-shot action from marginal bettors not well known to Sorkin and not phoning the action in to Sorkin's secretary, and then, when the long-shot lost, collecting the skeet plus vig 372 372 from the bettor and rat-holing it all for himself. It had seemed to Gately after he found out about it a suicidal-type risk, since if any of these long-shots ever actually from the bettor and rat-holing it all for himself. It had seemed to Gately after he found out about it a suicidal-type risk, since if any of these long-shots ever actually won won Fackelmann would be responsible for giving the bettor his winnings from 'Whitey' - meaning it would be Sorkin that would hear the complaint if Fackelmann didn't come up with the $ on his own and get it to the bettor - and the whole crew's pharmacological expenses meant they always existed on the absolutest margins of liquidity, at least that's what Gately and Kite (according to Kite) had always thought. It wasn't until Fackelmann's map had been presumably eliminated for keeps and Kite had returned from his long highatus and Gately and Kite were getting the late Fackelmann's stuff together to divvy up valuables and dump the rest and Gately found, taped to the underside of Fackelmann's p.o.r.n-cartridge storage case, over $22,000 in mint-crisp O.N.A.N. currency, not until then that Gately realized that Fackelmann had through iron will kept unspent an emergency reserve skeet-payment stake for just such a worst-case possibility. Gately split this found Fackelmann-$ with Trent Kite, then but went and turned his half of it in to Sorkin, claiming it was all they'd found. It wasn't that he forked his half over to Sorkin out of any kind of fear - Sorkin would have regretfully had the C kid and his Nuck/f.a.g crew demap him, Gately, too, along with Fackelmann, if he'd thought Gately had been part of Fax's scam - but out of guilt over having been clueless about his own fellow Twin Tower s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g Sorkin after Sorkin had been so neurasthenically over-generous to them both, and because Fackelmann's betrayal had ended up so hurting Sorkin and causing him so much psychosomatic grief that he'd spent a whole week in bed in Saugus in the dark with Lone Rangertype sleep shades on, drinking VO and Cafergot and clutching his traumatized cranium and face, feeling betrayed and abandoned, he'd said, his whole faith in the human creature shaken, he'd wept to Gately over the cellular phone, after it all came out. Ultimately, Gately gave Sorkin his half of Fackelmann's secret $ mostly to try and cheer Sorkin up. Let him know somebody cared. He also did it for Fackelmann's memory, which he was mourning Fax's gruesome death even at the same time he cursed him for a liar and rat-punk. It was a time of moral confusion for Don G., and his half of the post-mortem $ seemed like the best he could do in terms of like a gesture. He didn't rat out that Kite had a whole other half, which Kite spent his half of the $ on Grateful Dead bootlegs and a portable semiconductor-refrigeration unit for his D.E.C. 2100's motherboard that upped his processing capacity to 32 mb2 of RAM, roughly the same as an InterLace Disseminator-substation or an NNE Bell cellular SWITCHnet; though it wasn't two months before he'd p.a.w.ned the D.E.C. and put it in his arm, and had become such a steeply-downhill-type Dilaudid-addict that when he signed on as Gately's new trusted a.s.sociate for B&Es after Gately got out of Billerica the once-mighty Kite wasn't even able to d.i.c.ky an alarm or shunt a meter, and Gately found himself the brains of the team, which it was a mark of his own high-angle decline that this fact didn't make him more nervous. Fackelmann would be responsible for giving the bettor his winnings from 'Whitey' - meaning it would be Sorkin that would hear the complaint if Fackelmann didn't come up with the $ on his own and get it to the bettor - and the whole crew's pharmacological expenses meant they always existed on the absolutest margins of liquidity, at least that's what Gately and Kite (according to Kite) had always thought. It wasn't until Fackelmann's map had been presumably eliminated for keeps and Kite had returned from his long highatus and Gately and Kite were getting the late Fackelmann's stuff together to divvy up valuables and dump the rest and Gately found, taped to the underside of Fackelmann's p.o.r.n-cartridge storage case, over $22,000 in mint-crisp O.N.A.N. currency, not until then that Gately realized that Fackelmann had through iron will kept unspent an emergency reserve skeet-payment stake for just such a worst-case possibility. Gately split this found Fackelmann-$ with Trent Kite, then but went and turned his half of it in to Sorkin, claiming it was all they'd found. It wasn't that he forked his half over to Sorkin out of any kind of fear - Sorkin would have regretfully had the C kid and his Nuck/f.a.g crew demap him, Gately, too, along with Fackelmann, if he'd thought Gately had been part of Fax's scam - but out of guilt over having been clueless about his own fellow Twin Tower s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g Sorkin after Sorkin had been so neurasthenically over-generous to them both, and because Fackelmann's betrayal had ended up so hurting Sorkin and causing him so much psychosomatic grief that he'd spent a whole week in bed in Saugus in the dark with Lone Rangertype sleep shades on, drinking VO and Cafergot and clutching his traumatized cranium and face, feeling betrayed and abandoned, he'd said, his whole faith in the human creature shaken, he'd wept to Gately over the cellular phone, after it all came out. Ultimately, Gately gave Sorkin his half of Fackelmann's secret $ mostly to try and cheer Sorkin up. Let him know somebody cared. He also did it for Fackelmann's memory, which he was mourning Fax's gruesome death even at the same time he cursed him for a liar and rat-punk. It was a time of moral confusion for Don G., and his half of the post-mortem $ seemed like the best he could do in terms of like a gesture. He didn't rat out that Kite had a whole other half, which Kite spent his half of the $ on Grateful Dead bootlegs and a portable semiconductor-refrigeration unit for his D.E.C. 2100's motherboard that upped his processing capacity to 32 mb2 of RAM, roughly the same as an InterLace Disseminator-substation or an NNE Bell cellular SWITCHnet; though it wasn't two months before he'd p.a.w.ned the D.E.C. and put it in his arm, and had become such a steeply-downhill-type Dilaudid-addict that when he signed on as Gately's new trusted a.s.sociate for B&Es after Gately got out of Billerica the once-mighty Kite wasn't even able to d.i.c.ky an alarm or shunt a meter, and Gately found himself the brains of the team, which it was a mark of his own high-angle decline that this fact didn't make him more nervous.

The R.N. that'd flushed his colon while Gately wept with shame is now back in the room with an M.D. Gately hasn't seen before. He lies there pinwheel-eyed from pain and efforts to Abide via memory. One eye has some sort of blurry sleep-goop film in it that won't blink or rub away. The room is filled with mournful gunmetal winter-P.M. light. The M.D. and gorgeous R.N. are doing something to the room's other bed, attaching something metally complex from out of a big case not unlike a good-table-silverware case, with molded purple velvet insides for metal rods and two half-circles of steel. The intercom dings. The M.D.'s got a beeper at his belt, an object with still more unhealthy a.s.sociations. Gately hasn't exactly been asleep. The heat of his post-op fever makes his face feel tight, like standing too close to a fire. His right side's settled down to a sick ache like a kicked groin. Fackelmann's favorite phrase had been 'That's a G.o.dd.a.m.ned lie!' 'That's a G.o.dd.a.m.ned lie!' He'd used it in response to just about everything. His mustache always looked like it was getting ready to crawl off his lip. Gately's always despised facial hair. The former naval M.P. had had a great big yellow-gray mustache he waxed into two sharp protruding steer-horns. The M.P. was vain about his mustache and spent giant amounts of time clipping and grooming and waxing it. When the M.P. pa.s.sed out, Gately used to come quietly up and gently push the stiff waxed sides of the mustache into crazy canted angles. Sorkin's new third field-operative C'd claimed to collect ears and to have a collection of ears. Bobby C with his lightless eyes and flat lipless head, like a reptile. The M.D. was one of those apprentice Residential M.D.s that looked about twelve, scrubbed and groomed to a dull pink s.h.i.+ne. He radiated the bustling cheer they teach M.D.s how to radiate at you. He had a child's haircut, complete with spit-curl, and his thin neck swam in the collar of his white M.D.-coat, and his coat's pens' pocket-protector and the owlish gla.s.ses he kept pus.h.i.+ng up, together with the little neck, gave Gately the sudden insight that most M.D.s and A.D.A.s and P.D./P.O.s and shrinks, the fearsomest authority figures in a drug addict's life, that these guys came from the pencil-necked ranks of the same weak-chinned wienie kids that drug addicts used to despise and revile and bully, as kids. The R.N. was so attractive in the gray light and goop-blur it was almost grotesque. Her t.i.ts were such that she had a little cleft of cleavage showing even over her R.N.'s uniform, which was not like a low-neckline thing. The milky cleavage that suggests t.i.ts like two smooth scoops of vanilla ice cream that your healthy-type girls all have probably got. Gately's forced to confront the fact that he's never once been with a really healthy girl, and not with even so much as a girl of any kind in sobriety. And then when she reaches way up to unscrew a bolt in some kind of steelish plate on the wall over the empty bed the like hemline of her uniform retreats up north so that the white stockings' rich violinish curves at the top of the insides of her legs in the white He'd used it in response to just about everything. His mustache always looked like it was getting ready to crawl off his lip. Gately's always despised facial hair. The former naval M.P. had had a great big yellow-gray mustache he waxed into two sharp protruding steer-horns. The M.P. was vain about his mustache and spent giant amounts of time clipping and grooming and waxing it. When the M.P. pa.s.sed out, Gately used to come quietly up and gently push the stiff waxed sides of the mustache into crazy canted angles. Sorkin's new third field-operative C'd claimed to collect ears and to have a collection of ears. Bobby C with his lightless eyes and flat lipless head, like a reptile. The M.D. was one of those apprentice Residential M.D.s that looked about twelve, scrubbed and groomed to a dull pink s.h.i.+ne. He radiated the bustling cheer they teach M.D.s how to radiate at you. He had a child's haircut, complete with spit-curl, and his thin neck swam in the collar of his white M.D.-coat, and his coat's pens' pocket-protector and the owlish gla.s.ses he kept pus.h.i.+ng up, together with the little neck, gave Gately the sudden insight that most M.D.s and A.D.A.s and P.D./P.O.s and shrinks, the fearsomest authority figures in a drug addict's life, that these guys came from the pencil-necked ranks of the same weak-chinned wienie kids that drug addicts used to despise and revile and bully, as kids. The R.N. was so attractive in the gray light and goop-blur it was almost grotesque. Her t.i.ts were such that she had a little cleft of cleavage showing even over her R.N.'s uniform, which was not like a low-neckline thing. The milky cleavage that suggests t.i.ts like two smooth scoops of vanilla ice cream that your healthy-type girls all have probably got. Gately's forced to confront the fact that he's never once been with a really healthy girl, and not with even so much as a girl of any kind in sobriety. And then when she reaches way up to unscrew a bolt in some kind of steelish plate on the wall over the empty bed the like hemline of her uniform retreats up north so that the white stockings' rich violinish curves at the top of the insides of her legs in the white LISLE LISLE are visible in backlit silhouette, and an are visible in backlit silhouette, and an EMBRASURE EMBRASURE of sad windowlight s.h.i.+nes through her legs. The raw healthy s.e.xuality of the whole thing just about makes Gately sick with longing and self-pity, and he wants to avert his head. The young M.D. is also staring at the lissome stretch and retreating hem, not even pretending to help with the bolt, missing as he goes to push up the gla.s.ses so that he stabs himself in the forehead. The M.D. and R.N. exchange several pieces of real technical medical language. The M.D. drops his clipboard twice. The R.N. either doesn't notice any of the s.e.xual tension in the room because she's spent her whole life as the eye of a storm of s.e.xual tension, or else she just pretends not to notice. Gately's almost positive the M.D.'s jacked off before to the thought of this R.N., and he feels sick that he totally empathizes with the M.D. It'd be of sad windowlight s.h.i.+nes through her legs. The raw healthy s.e.xuality of the whole thing just about makes Gately sick with longing and self-pity, and he wants to avert his head. The young M.D. is also staring at the lissome stretch and retreating hem, not even pretending to help with the bolt, missing as he goes to push up the gla.s.ses so that he stabs himself in the forehead. The M.D. and R.N. exchange several pieces of real technical medical language. The M.D. drops his clipboard twice. The R.N. either doesn't notice any of the s.e.xual tension in the room because she's spent her whole life as the eye of a storm of s.e.xual tension, or else she just pretends not to notice. Gately's almost positive the M.D.'s jacked off before to the thought of this R.N., and he feels sick that he totally empathizes with the M.D. It'd be CIRc.u.mAMBIENT CIRc.u.mAMBIENT s.e.xual tension, would be the ghostword. Gately'd never even let an unhealthy strung-out-type female go into the head for at least an hour after he'd taken a dump in there, out of embarra.s.sment, and now this sickening circ.u.mambient creature had with her own Fleet syringe and soft hands summoned a loose pathetic dump from the a.n.u.s of Bimmy Gately, which a.n.u.s she had thus seen close up, producing a dump. s.e.xual tension, would be the ghostword. Gately'd never even let an unhealthy strung-out-type female go into the head for at least an hour after he'd taken a dump in there, out of embarra.s.sment, and now this sickening circ.u.mambient creature had with her own Fleet syringe and soft hands summoned a loose pathetic dump from the a.n.u.s of Bimmy Gately, which a.n.u.s she had thus seen close up, producing a dump.

It doesn't even register on Gately that it's spitting a little goopy sleet outside until he's made himself avert his head from the window and R.N. The ceiling's throbbing a little, like a dog when it's hot. The R.N. had told him, from behind, her name was Cathy or Kathy, but Gately wants to think of her as just the R.N. He can smell himself, a smell like sandwich-meat left in the sun, and feel greasy sweat purling all over his scalp, and his unshaved chin against his throat, and the tube taped into his mouth is tacky with the sc.u.m of sleep. The thin pillow is hot and he has no way to flip it over to the cool side of the pillow. It's like his shoulder's grown its own t.e.s.t.i.c.l.es and every time his heart beats some very small guy kicked him in them, the t.e.s.t.i.c.l.es. The M.D. sees Gately's open eyes and tells the nurse the gunshot patient is semiconscious again and is he Q'd for any kind of P.M. med. The sleetfall is slight; it sounds like somebody's throwing little fistfuls of sand at the window from real far away. The deadly R.N., helping the M.D. clamp some kind of weird steel back-braceish thing with what looks like a metal halo they'd put together from parts out of the big case, clamping the thing to the head of the bed and to little steel plates under the bed's heart monitor - it looks sort of like the upper part of an electric chair, he thinks - the R.N. looks down in mid-stretch and says Hi Mr. Gately and says Mr. Gately is allergic and doesn't get any meds except antipyretics and Toradol in a drip Dr. Pressburger do you Mr. Gately you poor brave allergic thing. Her voice is like you can just imagine what she'd sound like getting X'd and really liking it. Gately's repelled at himself for having taken a dump in front of this kind of R.N. The M.D.'s name had sounded just like 'Pressburger' or 'Prissburger,' and Gately's now sure the poor yutz'd taken daily a.s.s-kickings from sinister future drug addicts, as a kid. The M.D.'s perspiring in the ambient s.e.xuality of the R.N. He says (the M.D. does) So what's he intubated for if he's conscious and self-ventilating and on a drip. This is while the M.D.'s trying to screw the metal halo itself to the top of the back-braceish thing with bolt-head screws, one knee up on the bed and stretching so part of the red soft upper part of his a.s.s is showing over his belt, not being able to get the thing screwed on, shaking the metal halo like it's its stubborn fault, and even lying there Gately can tell the guy's turning the bolt-head screws the wrong way. The R.N. comes over and puts a cool soft hand on Gately's forehead in a way that makes the forehead want to die with shame. What Gately can get from what she says to Dr. Pressburger is that there'd been concern that Gately might have got a fragment of whatever projectile he got invaded with in, through, or near his lower-something Trachea, since there'd been trauma to his Something-with-six-syllables-that-started-with-Sterno, she said the radiology results were indefinite but suspicious, and somebody called Pendleton had wanted a 16 mm. siphuncular nebulizer dispensing 4 ml. of 20% Mucomyst she said the radiology results were indefinite but suspicious, and somebody called Pendleton had wanted a 16 mm. siphuncular nebulizer dispensing 4 ml. of 20% Mucomyst 373 373 q. 2 h. on the off-chance of hemorrhage or mucoidal flux, like just in case. The parts of this Gately can follow he doesn't care for one bit. He doesn't want to know his body even f.u.c.king q. 2 h. on the off-chance of hemorrhage or mucoidal flux, like just in case. The parts of this Gately can follow he doesn't care for one bit. He doesn't want to know his body even f.u.c.king has has something with six syllables in it. The horrifying R.N. wipes Gately's face off as best she can with her hand and says she'll try to fit him in for a sponge bath before she goes off-s.h.i.+ft at 1600h., at which Gately goes rigid with dread. The R.N.'s hand smells of Kiss My Facebrand Organic Hand and Body Lotion, which Pat Montesian also uses. She tells the poor M.D. to let her have a try at the cranial brace, those things are always a bear to screw in. Her shoes are those subaudible nurses' shoes that make no sound, so it seems like she glides away from Gately's bed instead of walks away. Her legs aren't visible until she gets a certain ways away. The M.D.'s own shoes have a wet squeak to the left one. The M.D. looks like he hasn't slept well in about a year. There's a faint vibe of prescription 'drines about the guy, on Gately's view. He paces squeakily at the foot of the bed watching the R.N. turn the screws the right way and pushes his owlish gla.s.ses up and says that Clifford Pendleton, scratch golfer or no, is a post-traumatic maroon, that nebulized Mucomyst is for (and here his voice makes it clear he's reciting from memory, like to show off) abnormal, viscid, or insp.i.s.sated post-traumatic mucus, not potential hemorrhaging or edema, and that 16 mm. siphuncular intubation itself had been specifically discreditated as an intratracheal-edema prophylaxis in the second-to-latest issue of something with six syllables in it. The horrifying R.N. wipes Gately's face off as best she can with her hand and says she'll try to fit him in for a sponge bath before she goes off-s.h.i.+ft at 1600h., at which Gately goes rigid with dread. The R.N.'s hand smells of Kiss My Facebrand Organic Hand and Body Lotion, which Pat Montesian also uses. She tells the poor M.D. to let her have a try at the cranial brace, those things are always a bear to screw in. Her shoes are those subaudible nurses' shoes that make no sound, so it seems like she glides away from Gately's bed instead of walks away. Her legs aren't visible until she gets a certain ways away. The M.D.'s own shoes have a wet squeak to the left one. The M.D. looks like he hasn't slept well in about a year. There's a faint vibe of prescription 'drines about the guy, on Gately's view. He paces squeakily at the foot of the bed watching the R.N. turn the screws the right way and pushes his owlish gla.s.ses up and says that Clifford Pendleton, scratch golfer or no, is a post-traumatic maroon, that nebulized Mucomyst is for (and here his voice makes it clear he's reciting from memory, like to show off) abnormal, viscid, or insp.i.s.sated post-traumatic mucus, not potential hemorrhaging or edema, and that 16 mm. siphuncular intubation itself had been specifically discreditated as an intratracheal-edema prophylaxis in the second-to-latest issue of Morbid Trauma Quarterly Morbid Trauma Quarterly as so diametrically invasive that it was more apt to exacerbate than to alleviate hemoptysis, according to somebody he calls 'Laird' or 'Layered.' Gately's listening in with the uncomprehending close attention of like a child whose parents are discussing something adultly complex about child-care in its presence. The condescension with which Prissburger inserts that as so diametrically invasive that it was more apt to exacerbate than to alleviate hemoptysis, according to somebody he calls 'Laird' or 'Layered.' Gately's listening in with the uncomprehending close attention of like a child whose parents are discussing something adultly complex about child-care in its presence. The condescension with which Prissburger inserts that hemoptysis hemoptysis means something called 'pertussive hemorrhage,' like Kathy the R.N. wasn't enough of a pro not to have to insert little technical explanations for, makes Gately sad for the guy - it's obvious the guy pathetically thinks this kind of limp condescending s.h.i.+t will impress her. Gately's got to admit he would have tried to impress her, too, though, if she hadn't met him by holding a kidney-shaped pan under his working a.n.u.s. The R.N.'s finis.h.i.+ng packing up the parts of the brace thing the M.D. couldn't seem to attach, meanwhile. She was saying the M.D. seemed awful well-up on methodology for something called a 2R, as they left, and Gately could tell the M.D. couldn't tell she was being a little sarcastic. The M.D. was struggling to try to carry the thing's case, which Gately judges weighs at most 30 kg. It occurs to him head-on for the first time that the real reason Stavros L. hired shelter-cleaning guys out of halfway houses was that he could get away with paying them like bupkis, and that he (Don G.) must surely on some level have known this all along but been in some kind of Denial about confronting it head-on that he was getting f.u.c.ked over by Stavros the shoe-freak, and that the word means something called 'pertussive hemorrhage,' like Kathy the R.N. wasn't enough of a pro not to have to insert little technical explanations for, makes Gately sad for the guy - it's obvious the guy pathetically thinks this kind of limp condescending s.h.i.+t will impress her. Gately's got to admit he would have tried to impress her, too, though, if she hadn't met him by holding a kidney-shaped pan under his working a.n.u.s. The R.N.'s finis.h.i.+ng packing up the parts of the brace thing the M.D. couldn't seem to attach, meanwhile. She was saying the M.D. seemed awful well-up on methodology for something called a 2R, as they left, and Gately could tell the M.D. couldn't tell she was being a little sarcastic. The M.D. was struggling to try to carry the thing's case, which Gately judges weighs at most 30 kg. It occurs to him head-on for the first time that the real reason Stavros L. hired shelter-cleaning guys out of halfway houses was that he could get away with paying them like bupkis, and that he (Don G.) must surely on some level have known this all along but been in some kind of Denial about confronting it head-on that he was getting f.u.c.ked over by Stavros the shoe-freak, and that the word embrasure embrasure had been surely another invasive-wraith ghostword, and then now also that n.o.body seems to exactly be falling all over themself to bring the paper and pen it had sure seemed like Joelle van D. had understood Gately's mimed request for, and that thus maybe Joelle's visit and show-and-tell with the snapshots had been just as much a febrile hallucination as the figuranted wraith, and that it has stopped spitting sleet but the clouds out there still look like they mean serious business out there over Brighton-Allston, and that if Joelle v.D.'s intimate visit with the photo alb.u.m was a hallucination that at least meant it was also a hallucination she was wearing f.u.c.king college-kid Ken Erdedy's sweatpants, and that the low-angled sadness of the cloudy P.M. light meant it had to be pretty near 1600h. EST so that maybe There By The Grace he could avoid maybe getting an uncontrolled woodie getting sponged naked by the horrifyingly attractive K/Cathy and but still could get sponged by her linebacker of a replacement, because the sour meaty smell of himself was grim, only maybe miss the woodie-hazard and get sponged by the big hairy-moled 16002400h. nurse in support-hose to who Gately's a.n.u.s was a stranger. Plus that 1600h. EST was Spontaneous-Dissemination time for Mr. Bouncety-Bounce, the mentally ill kiddy-show host Gately's always loved and used to try his best with Kite and poor old Fackelmann to be home and largely alert for, and that n.o.body's once offered to click on the HD viewer that hangs next to a myopic fake-Turner fog-and-boat print on the wall opposite Gately's and the former kid's beds, and that he had no remote with which to either activate the TP at 1600 or ask somebody else to activate it. That without some kind of notebook and pencil he couldn't communicate even the basicest question or like concept to anybody - it was like he was a vegetated hemorrhagic-stroke-victim. Without a pencil and notebook he couldn't even seem to get across a request for a notebook and pencil; it was like he was trapped inside his huge chattering head. Unless, his head then points out, Joelle van Dyne's visit had been real and her understanding of the pen-and-notebook gesture had been real, and but somebody out there in the hallway with a hat or at the Hospital President's office or at the nurses' station with his innerdicted M.-Hanley-brownies had also innerdicted the request for writing supplies, at the Finest's request, so he couldn't get his story straight with anybody before they came for him, that it was like a pre-interrogation softening-up thing, they were leaving him trapped in himself, a figurant, mute and unmoving and blank like the House's catatonic lady slumped moist and pale in her chair or the Advanced Basics Group's adopted girl's vegetable-kingdom sister, or the whole catatonic gang over at E.M.P.H.H.'s #5 Shed, silent and dead-faced even when touching a tree or propped up amid exploding front-lawn firecrackers. Or the wraith's nonexistent kid. It's got to be past 1600h., light-wise, unless it's the lowering clouds. There's roughly 0% or less visibility now outside the sleet-crusted window. The room's windowlight is darkening to that Kaopectate shade that has always marked the just-pre-sunset time of day that Gately (like most drug addicts) has always most dreaded, and had always either lowered his helmet and charged extra-murderous at somebody to block it out (the late-day dread) or else dropped QuoVadis or oral narcotics or turned on Mr. Bouncety-Bounce extra loud or busied himself in his silly chef's hat in the Ennet House kitchen or made sure he was at a Meeting sitting way up close in nose-pore range, to block it out (the late-day dread), the gray-light late-afternoon dread, always worse in winter, the dread, in winter's watered-down light - just like the secret dread he's always felt whenever everybody happened to ever leave the room and left him alone in a room, a terrible stomach-sinking dread that probably dates all the way back to being alone in his XXL Dentons and crib below Herman the Ceiling That Breathed. had been surely another invasive-wraith ghostword, and then now also that n.o.body seems to exactly be falling all over themself to bring the paper and pen it had sure seemed like Joelle van D. had understood Gately's mimed request for, and that thus maybe Joelle's visit and show-and-tell with the snapshots had been just as much a febrile hallucination as the figuranted wraith, and that it has stopped spitting sleet but the clouds out there still look like they mean serious business out there over Brighton-Allston, and that if Joelle v.D.'s intimate visit with the photo alb.u.m was a hallucination that at least meant it was also a hallucination she was wearing f.u.c.king college-kid Ken Erdedy's sweatpants, and that the low-angled sadness of the cloudy P.M. light meant it had to be pretty near 1600h. EST so that maybe There By The Grace he could avoid maybe getting an uncontrolled woodie getting sponged naked by the horrifyingly attractive K/Cathy and but still could get sponged by her linebacker of a replacement, because the sour meaty smell of himself was grim, only maybe miss the woodie-hazard and get sponged by the big hairy-moled 16002400h. nurse in support-hose to who Gately's a.n.u.s was a stranger. Plus that 1600h. EST was Spontaneous-Dissemination time for Mr. Bouncety-Bounce, the mentally ill kiddy-show host Gately's always loved and used to try his best with Kite and poor old Fackelmann to be home and largely alert for, and that n.o.body's once offered to click on the HD viewer that hangs next to a myopic fake-Turner fog-and-boat print on the wall opposite Gately's and the former kid's beds, and that he had no remote with which to either activate the TP at 1600 or ask somebody else to activate it. That without some kind of notebook and pencil he couldn't communicate even the basicest question or like concept to anybody - it was like he was a vegetated hemorrhagic-stroke-victim. Without a pencil and notebook he couldn't even seem to get across a request for a notebook and pencil; it was like he was trapped inside his huge chattering head. Unless, his head then points out, Joelle van Dyne's visit had been real and her understanding of the pen-and-notebook gesture had been real, and but somebody out there in the hallway with a hat or at the Hospital President's office or a