Murder Is A Piece Of Cake Part 36

Some groom's cakes are served as the dessert at the rehearsal dinner. You may want your wedding photographer to take pictures of this special cake. Other brides use the groom's cake as a second dessert at the wedding. Or it may be displayed at the reception, then cut and boxed as wedding favors.

Single women are supposed to sleep with a slice of groom's cake under their pillows and dream of their future husband. More likely, they'll wind up with the usual crumbs.

Read on for the next novel in Elaine Viets's Dead-End Job Mystery series, Board Stiff Coming from Obsidian in May 2013

"They're trying to kill me," Sunny Jim Sundusky said. "They nearly succeeded in March, but I'm a tough old buzzard. I survived. They almost got me in April, but I escaped again."

Helen Hawthorne and her husband, Phil Sagemont, sat across from Sunny Jim in their black and chrome chairs at the Coronado Investigations office. Sunny Jim sat in the yellow client chair, looking anything but sunny. Sun-dried was more like it, Helen thought as she studied him.

His face was red leather. His blond hair was dyed and flash-fried in a crinkly permanent. But he did look tough.

"They're gonna keep coming after me until they stop me for good," he said. "That's why I wanna hire you two. I hear you're the best private eyes in South Florida."

"We were lucky to get good publicity," Helen said.

"That wasn't luck," Phil said. "That was good detecting."

"That's what I need," Sunny Jim said. "Detecting. I want you to stop them before they stop me-permanently." He stabbed his chest with a calloused brown hand, right in the smiling sun on his yellow SUNNY JIM'S STAND-UP PADDLEBOARDING T-s.h.i.+rt. His arms and legs were roped with muscle, and his chest was a solid slab of it.

Helen had seen enough steroid hard bodies to know that Jim built that beef the old-fas.h.i.+oned way. She thought he was attractive in a dated disco style, except he was too young to have caught the seventies' disco fever. She guessed his age at the shady side of thirty-five.

"So, you gonna save my business or not?" Jim's eyes were hidden behind expensive sungla.s.ses, but his chin jutted in a challenge.

Helen tried to pick up a cue from Phil, but he stayed poker-faced. "Tell us a little about your business," he said.

"Like I said, I own a stand-up paddleboard rental company," Jim said. "I got two locations in Riggs Beach."

"The beach town just south of Fort Lauderdale," Helen said.

"Right," Jim said, and smiled for the first time. "There's Lauderdale, then Riggs Beach, Dania, Hollywood, and Hallandale Beach. You ever been to Riggs Beach?" He s.h.i.+fted in his chair and Helen tried not to stare at the little golden hairs on his long tanned legs.

"I walk along that beach sometimes," she said. "Nice fis.h.i.+ng pier."

"That's where I rent my boards," Sunny Jim said. "Near the base of the pier. Riggs Pier is owned by the city."

"Good fis.h.i.+ng off that pier," Phil said.

"Primo," Sunny Jim said. "There's a reef just past the pier. Saw a loggerhead turtle there when I was diving."

"You were telling us about your business," Phil said.

"There's a little restaurant and bait shop on the beach end of the pier, run by Cyrus Reed Horton. The restaurant is called Cy's on the Pier. Locals joke that Cy fries up whatever bait he doesn't sell, but the food's not half bad.

"Cy owns some real estate along Riggs Beach, including a T-s.h.i.+rt shop and a fancy boutique. He's got the parking lot by the pier, too. That place is a gold mine. Tourists are begging to park there.

"I keep a trailer-like a lawn service trailer-at the foot of the pier and rent my paddleboards, but you gotta be good to go out on the ocean. I also give lessons at Riggs Lake, about two blocks away: one hour of personal instruction and a half hour of practice for a hundred bucks. The water is quieter and calmer on the lake. It's a good place to learn. You ever do stand-up paddleboarding?"

"No," Helen said. "I've seen guys paddling along on those big surfboard-like things on the Intracoastal Waterway. I gather those are paddleboards."

"They are. Stand-up paddleboarding is the hot new sport. Everybody wants a piece of the action, and I've got the best spot in the city. That's why they're after me."

"Who is?" Phil asked.

"My compet.i.tors," Jim said, as if it were obvious.

"And they are . . . ?" Phil asked.

"Two main ones-Riggs Beach Water Sports and Bill's Boards. I've caught them both poaching on my territory. Riggs Beach Water Sports was giving lessons right next to my spot on Riggs Lake. Even set up a sign like he belonged there. His lessons are cheaper, but he doesn't have to pay the city to rent the land or buy the license or carry liability insurance like I do. He can afford to undercut me.

"Bill's Boards parked its trailer next to mine here on the beach and started renting their boards. It was just an employee, not the owner, and I chased him off that time. But Bill himself stands there and defies me.

"Now if I don't open up early and drag my boards out on the beach so Bill's Boards can't park there, he tries to set up his business. I'm out there at six a.m. now, though most of my customers don't show up until after nine in the morning."

"Sounds stressful," Helen said.

"Stress! h.e.l.l, it's cutthroat. Those two will do anything to put me out of business. Bill's Boards even stole Randy, my best employee."

"How'd he do that?" Phil asked.

"Offered Randy more money," Sunny Jim said. "I can't afford to pay him eleven dollars an hour. Not when I'm stuck with all the costs of being a legitimate businessman."

"Did you complain to Riggs Beach?" Helen asked.

"Hah! Rigged Beach is more like it," Jim said. "I've made more than two hundred complaints to the police, the beach patrol, and Riggs Lake park rangers. The city commission won't do a blessed thing.

"I finally went to a meeting and complained. Put on a suit in Florida. One commissioner said it would cost too much to enforce the rules. Cost too much! What about the fees the city is missing? What about following the rules?

"The commissioners said they wanted proof that my compet.i.tors are poaching. I even stood behind a palm tree and took photos, but the commission said that still wasn't proof unless I caught 'em when the money was changing hands. I was never cynical about government, but after that meeting, I saw that same commissioner say hi to his good buddy, the owner of Bill's Boards. Slapped Bill on the back and they left together. In public. That was February.

"Once I turned up the heat, the sabotage started. In March, two of my paddleboards were stolen and twelve paddles were trashed. Someone broke into my trailer at the height of spring break, the busiest time of the year, so I didn't have enough boards or paddles for rentals. By the time my insurance claim was settled, spring break was over and so was the demand.

"That cost me thousands in equipment and even more in lost business. But they weren't counting on my having insurance. See, that's where the extra cost comes in, but it saved my bacon.

"I had video cameras on my beach trailer, and the cameras caught two men on tape. One man is the same size and height as Randy, my old employee, but he and his accomplice are wearing dive suits and masks, so you can't see their faces."

"And even though Randy was a good employee," Helen asked, "you think he'd break into your trailer to ruin your business?"

"Yes, I do," Jim said, and stuck out his chin defiantly. "He left me for money. I think he'd break into my trailer for money, too. But I can't prove that. He knew about the cameras, didn't he? So he disguised himself."

"Not sure that means anything," Phil said. "Many businesses use security cameras. What did the police say?"

"They took a report and that's about it." Jim's face showed his disgust. "Riggs Beach police aren't interested in tracking down the thieves. They called it a spring break prank and said the stolen boards were probably strapped to a car roof and heading up north."

"The break-in was in March," Phil said. "What happened next?"

"I started getting tons of calls for reservations and lessons. I was fully booked every day of the week. Thought I was in fat city. Except half of the callers never showed for their lessons or board rentals. After four days of twiddling my thumbs I changed my policy. Now if you want a lesson or you want to rent a board, you gotta give me a credit card. And I run the card while you're on the phone. Nipped that in the bud."

"Who made the false reservations?" Helen asked. "Men? Women?"

"Both," Jim said. "They all sounded young, but then, most of my business is people under thirty."

"Anybody else you can think of who'd want to cause you trouble?" Phil asked.

"Well, there's Cy," Jim said. "He wants my beach spot, too, so he can expand his parking lot. But he told me up front. Those other birds went behind my back. Only my contract with the city is keeping me on Riggs Beach, and the renewal is coming up for a vote in June."

"So what do you want Coronado Investigations to do?" Phil asked.

"Catch 'em!" he said. "Catch them when they're sabotaging me. I'm still looking for a new employee to replace Randy. I can't find a good one. I'll pay you $7.75 an hour, Phil, to work the pier location. That's in addition to your regular fee. You can keep the money."

"Thanks," Phil said. Jim missed the slight note of sarcasm, but Helen didn't.

"Minimum wage in Florida is $7.65, so I'm overpaying you. And I want your lady to work for me, too."

"You want two people to suddenly start working at your ocean paddleboard rental?" Helen asked. "Won't that look suspicious?"

"You're a smart girl," Sunny Jim said. "But I got a better job for you. I want you to sit on the beach with a video camera. You can doc.u.ment my compet.i.tors stealing my business. Make sure you get them exchanging the money. n.o.body will think anything of it. Tourists video everything-even palm trees doing nothing but standing there. I want Helen to get to know some of the staff at Cy's restaurant and his two shops. Cy's a tightwad and he has enemies. Some of his employees are angry enough that they'll talk about Cy or whatever else they see here in Riggs Beach."

"My cover can be that I'm a Fort Lauderdale salesclerk on a *stay-cation,'" Helen said. "I've got some days off and I'm too broke to go anywhere for a real vacation."

"So are you going to be Phil's wife while he's working for me?" Sunny Jim asked.

"It's better if we don't even know each other for this job," Helen said. "I'll have to take off my wedding ring."

"And put on a bikini," Jim said. "A fine-looking lady like you belongs in a bikini-you know what I mean?"

Helen didn't like his smirk.

"You know that Ms. Hawthorne is my partner-and my wife," Phil said.

"I meant no disrespect," Jim said. "It's hard not to admire a woman like Ms. Hawthorne. Tell you what-I'll even throw in free paddleboard lessons for you both after work. As my personal apology. How about if you start tomorrow at six with me, Phil? Ms. Hawthorne, you don't have to go to work until nine. What do you say, huh?"

"You can call me Helen," she said. "Apology accepted."

I'm getting paid to sleep late and sit on the beach, she thought. Finally, a dead-end job I can enjoy. Phil gave her a slight nod, his signal that he wanted this client.

"It's a deal," she said.

Click here for more books by this author.

Also by Elaine Viets.

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Dying to Call You Just Murdered Murder Unleashed.

Murder with Reservations Clubbed to Death.

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Pumped for Murder.

Final Sail.