The Book Of Good Manners; A Guide To Polite Usage For All Social Functions Part 45

BOWING. A man should not bow to a woman until she has first recognized him, unless they are old acquaintances.

A man should acknowledge the salutation of a woman on the street, even if he does not know her, as it saves her from embarra.s.sment at her mistake.

When bidding farewell to a woman after a conversation on the street, a man should bow and raise his hat.

If a man offers his seat to a woman in a car or other conveyance, he should raise his hat and bow, while her escort acknowledges the courtesy by doing the same.

When a man opens a door for a woman unknown to him, he should bow, while she enters in advance of him.

A man should raise his hat and bow on all occasions when offering any courtesy to a woman, whether stranger or acquaintance.

A man may bow to an elderly man or person of official position.

A man may offer his services to a woman in crossing a crowded thoroughfare, and should raise his hat and bow when she is safely over, but should, make no comment unless she does so first. He may also offer her a.s.sistance in getting on or off a car, raising his hat and bowing without remark.

If a man is accompanied by a woman and another man extends a courtesy to her, he should acknowledge it by bowing and giving a polite "Thank you."

If when walking with a man a woman meets a male acquaintance who bows, her escort should raise his hat and bow, though the two men are strangers to each other. If the escort meets a man known to him, both men should raise their hats and bow.

CANES AND UMBRELLAS. These should be carried vertically, never horizontally, thereby endangering other persons' eyes. Especially is this important when entering cars or going up long flights of steps-as, the stairs of the elevated railroad.

CONVERSATION. A man who meets a woman, and desires to engage in conversation with her, should ask permission to accompany her.

If this is granted, he may proceed a short distance, unless requested to go farther.

When meeting a woman on the street and stopping to converse with her, a man should raise his hat and replace it, as it is not now in good form for a man to remain bareheaded until requested by the woman to replace his hat.

A man should avoid stopping a woman on the street to engage her in conversation.

Only an intimate acquaintance with a woman warrants a man joining her on the street. If it is not agreeable, it may be very embarra.s.sing to her.

SMOKING. A man should never smoke while walking with a woman on a street. Smoking on fas.h.i.+onable thoroughfares is bad form.

A man should avoid expectorating upon a sidewalk, and, if it must be done, should walk to the curb and use the street for that purpose.

WALKING. A man should not walk between two women, but at the side nearest the curb.

When walking with a woman, a man should walk near the curb, unless pa.s.sing an obstruction-as, a building in course of construction-when she should have the outer side to protect her from harm, or from coming in contact with disagreeable things.

A man should offer his right arm to a woman, but this is rarely necessary in the daytime. It is essential, however, and proper for him to do so after dark.

WOMEN. Conduct on the street should always be reserved. It is bad form to loudly laugh or to boldly glance at the pa.s.sers-by, especially men.

Women should never walk three or four abreast.

Women may salute each other with a bow and a handshake, but a kiss in public is no longer in good form.

During a promenade, where friends pa.s.s and repa.s.s, it is not necessary to exchange greetings to each other.

A polite "Thank you," with a bow and a smile, should be the reward of any man extending a courtesy to a woman.

BOWING. It is the woman's privilege to determine whom she will publicly recognize, and therefore she should bow first to all men whom she desires to favor. This formality is, however, unnecessary with intimate friends.

UMBRELLAS. These should be carried vertically, and never horizontally under the arm.

WALKING. If a woman is walking with a man, and another man stops to speak, it would be in exceeding bad taste to ask him to join her.

A woman should take a man's right arm, but only after dark, unless for some special reason-as, weakness, etc.-it is necessary.

If a woman is walking alone, and a man of her acquaintance stops and speaks, he may ask permission to accompany her farther, which, if agreeable, should be granted. She may stop for a few moments' chat, and shake hands if she wishes. If he stands before her with uncovered head, she should promptly ask him to replace his hat. She should not block the thoroughfare, and should take the initiative if he does not step to one side.

If agreeable, an invitation may be extended to him to walk a short distance.

SUBSCRIPTION b.a.l.l.s.

MEN. Shortly after receiving an invitation to a subscription ball, a man should leave a card for the patroness inviting him.

INVITATIONS. In addition to the regular invitations, it is customary to guard against the admission of persons not really invited by the use of vouchers to be shown at the hall door, or some similar precaution is taken.

When a subscriber sends an invitation and a voucher, he should send in the same envelope one of his calling cards.

SUNDAY CALLS. Informal calls may be made on Sunday after three o'clock by business and professional men, provided there are no religious or other scruples on the part of those receiving the calls.

Men should wear afternoon dress.

SUPPERS GIVEN BY MEN--WOMEN. A young woman may accept a man's invitation, provided she has the consent of her mother or guardian, and is a.s.sured that a chaperone will be present.

SUPPERS--MEN. Suppers are generally for men.

The hours are from ten to eleven. A man can give such entertainments in bachelor apartments or restaurant, and if women are invited, chaperones should be present.

The invitations may be given personally, written, or a visiting-card may be used, giving hour and date. If the supper is given in honor of a special guest, engraved cards or note sheets are used.

Suppers may be of various kinds--such as Fish, Game, Wine, Champagne.

SUPPERS AND THEATRE PARTIES.

MEN. A man should not invite a young woman to a theatre party or supper without inviting her mother or a chaperone to accompany them. At large theatre parties or suppers, when there are ten or more guests, several chaperones should be invited. Any married or elderly unmarried woman can act as chaperone, care being taken that they are well-known and agreeable to all, as much of the pleasure of the evening depends upon them.

CARRIAGES. A conveyance holding a large party can be sent to take invited guests to the entertainment. The chaperone should be called for first, and should be the last one to be left at home upon returning. The chaperones may use their own carriages and call for guests if they desire. If the chaperones call for the guests, the men can be met at the place of amus.e.m.e.nt. Conveyances should be provided for guests.

SUPPERS GIVEN BY BACHELORS.

See BACHELORS' SUPPERS.