Gabriel's Inferno: Gabriel's Rapture Part 24

ne pentere e volere insieme puossi

(nor can one both repent and will at once,)

per la contradizion che nol consente'."

(because of the contradiction which consents not".)

"So you see, Julia, even St. Francis was wrong about people on occasion. He thought Guido's soul belonged in Paradise."

"Yes, but it's like Francis to think the best of someone-to think that Guido's repentance was real and to fight for his soul," she protested. "Even if in the end he was wrong."

"St. Francis gave up too quickly."

"Do you think so?"

Gabriel gazed at her intently. "If it were your soul I was after, all the dark Cherubim in h.e.l.l couldn't keep me from you."

A s.h.i.+ver snaked up and down Julia's spine.

"I would have done whatever it took to save you." His voice and his expression were grave. "Even if that meant I had to spend eternity in h.e.l.l."

Gabriel and Julia spent their last full day of vacation in and out of the ocean. They sunned themselves, then relaxed in the shade with a beer and an umbrella drink. Julia nodded off in her lounge chair, her large floppy hat discarded on the sand.

Gabriel loved to watch her sleep-the way her chest rose and fell with her gentle breathing. The way her lips curled back with the occasional sigh. She looked so peaceful. Gabriel was convinced that Grace would have been delighted that he and Julianne were a couple. No doubt she would already be pressuring him to put a ring on her finger and pick out china patterns.

There had been so many moments during their Valentine's weekend that he had wanted to bend his knee and ask her to marry him. But not only was he worried about enacting a cliche, he was worried about her future. It was likely they were about to be embroiled in a scandal that could jeopardize his career and her admission to Harvard.

Even if the complaint against her was investigated and dismissed, she would need to be able to complete her MA free of other distractions. He was sure that she'd want the full university experience at Harvard without the pressure of planning a wedding. And there was still the question of what he would do-whether he would be able to take a sabbatical. That is, if he survived Christa Peterson's hara.s.sment complaint.

Despite the fact that he found the words marry me on his tongue on more than one occasion, he bit them back. There would be a time and a place for a proposal. That time and place should be in their orchard, sacred as it was to both of them. Not to mention the fact that it would be a polite gesture to alert Tom to his intentions before broaching the topic with Julianne. Without doubt, he wanted her to be his wife. And no matter what the next few months brought, he would make her his.

Later that evening, Gabriel found himself br.i.m.m.i.n.g with emotion, the fruit of much contemplation and the pleasure he always found in Julianne's company. They'd just returned from the resort restaurant. Julia had planned on visiting the washroom to clean the makeup from her face, but he caught her wrist and wordlessly led her to the bed.

He kissed her softly and began to undress her, his eyes s.h.i.+ning with wors.h.i.+p and need. He took his time, adoring shoulders and arms and naked skin, his mouth beginning to make eager promises as she arched beneath his touch.

He pulled her astride him, gazing up with an expression of wonder mixed with desire. She moved her hips to taunt him a little, closing her eyes in order to let the feeling take center stage.

After a few minutes, Gabriel flipped her so she was on her back and he was kneeling between her legs. She let out a cry as he entered her.

He stilled. "Are you all right?"

"Mmhmmm," she hummed. "You just surprised me." She brought her hands to rest on his back, urging him forward.

Gabriel liked her on top, she knew it. He would gaze up at her adoringly and touch and tease. He would praise her s.e.xiness, for he knew that even after these few months she was slightly self-conscious at being so exposed. Julia was surprised that he moved them so his body was covering hers, his lips at her neck, when they'd enjoyed that position several times already.

A few more kisses and he was pressing a hand to her face, his eyes dark and desperate.

"Gabriel?" She searched his expression.

He closed his eyes and shook his head before opening them again.

Julia gaped at what she saw-insecurity, pa.s.sion, hope, want, and need. She threw back her head from time to time as groans of pleasure escaped her lips.

"I need you," he whispered against her throat as his movements increased to a fevered pitch. "I can't lose you."

Julia's response was lost in a series of pants as she grew closer and closer to her release.

"Ah-ah, h.e.l.l." Gabriel cursed as he climaxed, knowing that Julia had yet to do so. He tried to keep moving, hoping that she would follow him, but it was not to be.

"d.a.m.n it. I'm sorry." He hid his face against her skin.

"It's all right. I enjoyed myself." She tangled her fingers in his hair, tugging playfully, before pressing a kiss to his face. "And I'm glad you came."

A self-deprecating mumble escaped him. He moved to lie beside her and began to pet between her legs, but she pressed her knees together. "You don't need to do that."

His eyes darkened with determination. "Yes, I do. Let me."

She stilled his hand. "You aren't going to lose me if you fail to give me an o.r.g.a.s.m now and then."

Gabriel's expression tightened. "It's embarra.s.sing."

"It's life." She kissed his nose. "I don't expect you to be perfect, in bed or out of it."

"Bless you for that." He kissed her slowly, sighing when she pulled away to nest in his arms. "But that doesn't mean I shouldn't try."

"Well, if you insist, there is something you could do for me..."

Gabriel moved so quickly Julia was torn between shock and the urge to laugh. But as soon as he touched her, she stopped laughing.

Later that evening Gabriel lay on his back in the center of the bed, underneath the mosquito netting. Julia rested her head just below his pectorals, her arm wrapped around his waist.

"Are you happy?" His voice came out of the candle-soaked darkness, as he ran his fingers over the top of her head and down to trace the curve of her neck.

"Yes. Are you?"

"More than I ever thought I could be."

Julia smiled against his chest and kissed the skin there.

"Things seem-different since we came back from Italy," he prompted, his hand still gliding across neck and shoulder.

"We have a lot to be grateful for. We have each other. I have Harvard. Doctor Nicole has been helping me. I feel like I'm finally putting the pieces back together."

"Good," he whispered. "And the way that we make love, in general, you're happy with that?"

Now Julia lifted her head so she could gaze up into his concerned blue eyes. "Of course." She laughed quietly. "You can't tell?"

"I can tell that I please your body. But your body is not your mind, or your heart."

He seemed embarra.s.sed, and Julia repented of her decision to laugh.

"Tonight was an aberration. But even if it wasn't, I'm sure we'd work through it. Are you happy with the way that we make love?" She sounded shy.

"Yes, very much. I feel it changing-I feel the connection deepening." He shrugged. "I just wondered if you felt it too."

"Sometimes I think this is a dream. Believe me, I'm happy." She leaned up to kiss him and then rested her head on his chest again. "Why are you asking me these things?"

"Where do you see yourself in the future?"

"I want to be a professor. I want to be with you." Julia's voice was on the quiet side, but remarkably a.s.sertive.

He began threading the sheet in between his fingers. "Wouldn't you rather find a nice man who could give you children?"

"You can't ask me if I'm happy with one breath, and push me away with the next."

When he didn't respond, she gently took hold of his chin, forcing his eyes to hers.

"No, I don't want to find a nice man to have a child with. I want a child with you."

Gabriel stared at her incredulously, his blue eyes widening.

"Truthfully, I don't know if we'll ever get to the point where we're healthy enough to open our home to a child. But if we do, I'm sure we'll find a little boy or girl who is supposed to be our child. Grace and Richard adopted you; we can do the same."

Her face grew pained. "Unless you decide you don't want that. Or you don't want that with me."

"Of course I want you." The intensity of his voice matched his eyes. "I'd like to make promises to you. But I want us to wait a little before we have that conversation. Does that trouble you?" He reached out a finger to toy with the diamond in her ear.

Julia didn't need a narrator to understand what his physical gesture meant. "No."

"I don't want you to think that any hesitation on my part is due to lack of feeling." Gabriel gave voice to her unspoken fear.

"I'm yours. All of me. And I'm so glad we won't be apart next year. The thought of losing you was torturous."

He nodded as if he understood.

"Now come here, Julia, so I can wors.h.i.+p you."

Chapter 20.

"Miss Mitch.e.l.l." The tall, dark-haired woman in the power suit strolled into the corner office, shook Julia's hand, and sat behind her large desk.

Miss Soraya Harandi was of Iranian descent, with light, unfreckled skin and cascades of blue-black hair. Her mouth was wide and full, and her dark eyes sparkled. She was not necessarily beautiful, but she was striking, and Julia could not help but stare.

Soraya chuckled.

Julia immediately looked down at her book bag and began to fidget with it.

"Now that's something you cannot do in front of the Dean. No matter what he says or does, you cannot look away. It makes you look guilty and weak." Soraya softened her criticism with a smile. "Law is as much about psychology as it is about precedent. Now, why don't you tell me what led up to the Dean's letter?"

Julia took a deep breath and told her story, beginning when she was seventeen and ending with the letter from the Dean's office. She only left out a few details.

Soraya listened carefully, jotting down notes on her laptop and nodding on occasion. When Julia finished, Soraya was quiet for a moment.

"That's quite a story. Since the Dean hasn't disclosed what the complaint is about, let's not a.s.sume it's about your boyfriend. Although we should prepare for that scenario. Was your relations.h.i.+p with Professor Emerson absolutely consensual?"

"Of course."

"Have you ever had a s.e.xual relations.h.i.+p with one of your professors or teaching a.s.sistants before?"

"No."

"Is it possible he seduced you solely for his own amus.e.m.e.nt?"

"Of course not. Gabriel loves me."

Soraya appeared relieved. "Good. Well, good for you personally, not so good depending on the complaint."

"What do you mean?"