Gabriel's Inferno: Gabriel's Rapture Part 16

She turned around and began to walk in the direction she thought would lead back to the house.

"Julia, wait!" He came after her, tugging at her arm.

"I told you not to touch me!" She pulled her arm back, glaring at him furiously.

"You made it clear that you didn't want to know the details of what I was like before we met. You said you forgave me."

"I did."

"You knew I was l.u.s.tful," he reproved her, softly.

"Clearly, I thought there were limits."

Gabriel recoiled, for her remark had cut him. "I deserved that," he said, the temperature of his voice rivaling that of the snow on the ground. "I didn't tell you everything and I should have."

"Was the Christmas gift from her?"

"Yes."

"What was it?"

Gabriel's shoulders slumped. "An ultrasound picture."

Julia inhaled roughly, making a wheezing sound as the bracing winter air filled her lungs. "Why would she do such a thing?"

"Paulina a.s.sumes I've kept everything secret. She's right, of course, when it comes to my siblings. But she a.s.sumes I haven't told you. This was her way of ensuring I did."

"You used her." Julia's teeth began chattering. "No wonder she won't let you go. You fed her with sc.r.a.ps, like a dog. Would you treat me like that?"

"Never. I know that I treated Paulina abominably. But that doesn't give her the right to hurt you. You're innocent in all of this."

"You misled me."

"Yes. Yes, I did. Can you forgive me?"

Julia was quiet for a moment, rubbing her hands together against the cold. "Have you ever asked Paulina to forgive you?"

Gabriel shook his head.

"You toyed with her heart. I know what that's like. I can have compa.s.sion for her because of that."

"I met you first," he whispered.

"That doesn't give you license to be cruel." Julia coughed a little as the cold air burned her throat.

He pressed a light hand to her shoulder. "Please go back. You're cold."

She turned to leave and Gabriel reached out to catch her hand.

"I felt something for her, but it wasn't love. There was guilt and l.u.s.t, and some affection, but never love."

"What will you do now?"

He wrapped his arm around her waist, drawing her into his side. "I'll resist the urge to react to the present she left and try my d.a.m.nedest to make things up to you. You're who I want. I'm so sorry to have injured you."

"Maybe you'll change your mind."

He held her more tightly, his expression fierce. "You're the only one I have ever loved."

When Julia didn't respond, he began walking with her toward the house. "I would never be unfaithful, I swear it. As far as what Paulina tried to do yesterday..." He squeezed her waist. "There was a time when I could have been led astray. But that was before I found you. I would rather spend the rest of my life drinking your love, then emptying all the oceans of the world."

"Your promises are meaningless when they aren't accompanied by honesty. I asked if she was your mistress, and you played a word game with me."

He grimaced. "You're right. I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

"You'll tire of me eventually. And when you do, you'll go back to what's familiar."

Gabriel stopped. He turned to face her. "Paulina was never familiar. We have a history, but we were never compatible. And we were never good for each other."

Julia simply stared at him skeptically.

"I wandered in the darkness looking for something better, something real. I found you, and I'll be d.a.m.ned if I'm going to lose you."

She looked away, surveying the trees and the path she thought led to the orchard. "Men get bored."

"Only if they're stupid."

His eyes were dark, narrowed with concern and worry. He blinked a little under her gaze, before frowning. "Do you think that Richard would have cheated on Grace?"

"Of course not."

"Why?"

"Because he's a good man. Because he loved her."

"I make no claim to being a good man, Julia. But I love you. I'm not going to cheat."

She was quiet for a moment. "I'm not so wounded that I can't say no to you."

"I never said you weren't." Gabriel looked grim.

"I'm saying no to you now. If you lie to me again, it will be the last time." Her voice held a warning.

"I promise."

She exhaled slowly, unclenching her fists.

"I won't sleep with you in the bed you shared with her."

"I'll have everything redone before we return to Toronto. I'll sell the d.a.m.n place, if you want."

She pursed her lips. "I'm not asking you to sell your apartment."

"Then forgive me," he whispered. "Give me a chance to show you that I am worthy of your trust."

She hesitated.

He stepped toward her and took her in his arms. She accepted him reluctantly, and they stood under the falling snow, in a darkening wood.

Chapter 12.

Late that evening Gabriel and Julia sat together in their pajamas on the floor next to their Charlie Brown Christmas tree. Julia encouraged Gabriel to open Paulina's gift, so all the secrets could be revealed. He didn't want to do it, but for Julia's sake, he did.

He picked up the ultrasound picture in his hand and grimaced. Julia whispered a request to look at it, and he gave it to her with a sigh.

"This picture can't hurt you. Even if Rachel and Scott found out, they would be sympathetic." She traced a finger across the curve of the baby's little head. "You could keep this somewhere private, but she shouldn't be kept in a box. She had a name. She deserves to be remembered."

Gabriel placed his head in his hands. "You don't think it's morbid?"

"I don't think there's anything morbid about babies. Maia was your daughter. Paulina meant this picture to hurt you, but really, it's a gift. You should have this picture. You're her father."

Gabriel was too choked up to respond. To distract himself, he placed the rest of Paulina's gifts by the door. He was returning them to her as soon as possible.

Julia followed him. "I look forward to wearing your Christmas gift." She pointed toward the black corset and shoes that were still sitting in their box under the tree.

"You do?"

"I'll have to give myself a pep talk first, but I think it's feminine and very pretty. I love the shoes. Thank you."

Gabriel's shoulders relaxed. He wanted to ask her to try his gifts on. He wanted to see her in those shoes-perhaps perched atop the bathroom counter with him between her legs-but he kept his desires to himself.

"Um, I need to explain something." Julia took his hand, weaving their fingers together. "I can't wear it tonight."

"I'm sure that after the past two days wearing something like that would be the last thing you'd want to do." Gabriel stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. "Especially with me."

"It will be a little while before I can wear it."

"I understand." He began to extricate his fingers.

"I tried to explain this to you last night but, uh, I didn't quite finish."

He stilled.

"Um, I'm having my period."

Gabriel's mouth dropped open slightly. Then he closed it. He pulled her into his arms, embracing her warmly.

"That wasn't the reaction I was expecting." Julia's voice was m.u.f.fled by his chest. "Maybe you didn't hear me?"

"So last night-it wasn't because you didn't want me?"

She pulled back in surprise. "I'm still upset about what happened with Paulina, but of course I want you. You always make me feel special when we make love. Right now, I'm not going to go there. Or actually, have you go there. Uh, you know what I mean." She grew fl.u.s.tered.

Heaving a sigh of relief, Gabriel kissed her forehead. "I have other plans for you."

He led her by the hand to the s.p.a.cious washroom, pausing to press play on the stereo. The strains of Sting's "Until" began to fill the room as they disappeared through the door.

Paulina sat up, wide-awake in a strange bed in Toronto, covered in a cold sweat. No amount of repet.i.tion made the dream vary in its events or its terror. No amount of vodka or pills could remove the ache in her chest or the tears from her eyes.

She reached for the bottle by the bed, knocking the hotel's alarm clock off the nightstand. A few shots and a few small, blue pills and she would fall asleep again, letting the darkness take her.

She could not be comforted. Other women could have a second child to a.s.suage the loss of their first. But she would never bear a child. And the father of her lost baby no longer wanted her.

He was the only man she'd ever loved, and she'd loved him from afar and then she'd loved him close by, but he'd never loved her. Not really. But he was too n.o.ble to cast her off like the used piece of goods she was.

As she sobbed into her pillow, her head spinning, she mourned a double loss aloud- Maia.

Gabriel...

Chapter 13.

Professor Giuseppe Pacciani wasn't virtuous, but he was clever. He didn't believe Christa Peterson when she declared that she was willing to meet him for a s.e.xual rendezvous. In order to ensure that their liaison actually happened, he withheld the name of Professor Emerson's Canadian fidanzata on condition that Christa meet him in Madrid in February.

Christa was unwilling to wait that long or to sleep with him again in order to ferret out the information, so she didn't respond to his last email. She decided to regroup and find an alternative way of discovering the name of Professor Emerson's fiancee.

It could be said that she was jealous and that this was her primary reason for wondering who had successfully captured the Professor's attention when she had failed (inexplicably). It could be said that she'd begun to nurse a suspicion about a certain doe-eyed brunette, ever since Professor Emerson had almost come to blows with that student over a mistress called Paulina.

But perhaps the most accurate explanation was her new and rather prurient fascination with the rumors she'd heard about Professor Singer and her not-so-secret lifestyle. When Professor Emerson embraced her after his lecture at the University of Toronto, it set a good number of tongues wagging. Christa's tongue was among them.

Perhaps Giuseppe was wrong. Perhaps the Professor did not have a fidanzata after all. Perhaps he had a Mistress.